Title: What they call home pt. 5|7 - Home in his embrace

Pairing: Post Azkaban!Sirius Black x Female!Lestrange!Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Published: 13 November, 2020

Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore

Notes: This was written for ​@wand3ringr0s3's writing challenge on tumblr and also for a request I have received here on Wattpad by celina_yaxley  . It was supposed to be a one shot, but it turned into a series somehow. I have been getting carried away these days.

Disclaimer: I have dug myself very deep into the Black and Lestrange family just to make sure that there were no incest in the story. I went back 300 years, until 1700 and I can confirm Blacks have not been related to the Lestranges, except Bellatrix Lestrange (nee Black) marrying Rodolphus Lestrange around 1968-70, pre-Wizarding War I.

It was a rainy, dull evening, weather getting colder, nights spreading longer. You have been thinking about Molly's words, over and over again playing in the back of your mind like an old and faulty record player.

You thought as both of you were stuck in the house alone, you could initiate a little bonding time, maybe trying to understand him a bit more. You walked into the dining room, taking two crystal glasses and a bottle of fire whiskey out of the cupboard and headed back to the living room, where you last saw Sirius. You halted at the doorway and leaned against the wooden frame.

The room was dominated in dark orange and red colours, filled with warmth provided by the fire. Sirius sat on one of the couches right in front of the fireplace, his eyes focused on the flames, his silky long hair tucked behind his ear, his face relaxed and soft. You haven't seen him so calm since your years in Hogwarts, when he was a reckless teenager. You didn't even realise that you somewhat missed his carefree attitude.

You walked behind the couch, holding the bottle of fire whiskey in front of him as you propped your elbow up on the back of the furniture. You didn't expect Sirius to turn around, but when he did you couldn't miss the proximity between you.

His nose was almost touching yours, his eyes even more beautiful up close. His breath reached your lips, making you shiver slightly, his eyes accidently wandering down to your mouth, his gaze lingering a tad longer than it was appropriate. Your heart was racing in a dangerous pace and you could have sworn it was loud enough for him to hear. You tried not to look at his lips, your self-control disappearing faster than you wished to admit. You knew if you were to look at his lips, you couldn't stop yourself from closing the gap between you.

Sirius was the first to break the moment, his voice shaky as he tried to solve the tension. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you are trying to get me drunk." He chuckled with a slightly awkward tone to his voice as he took the bottle from you and patted the space beside him on the couch.

You sat down on the other end of the sofa; your legs pulled up to your chest as you waited for him to pour the liquid into your glass.

"I might have had ulterior motives." You replied as you finally felt yourself capable of speaking again. His brows ran high at your brave comment, a satisfied chuckle escaping his lips.

"And what would that be?" He asked as he handed you your glass, wild curiosity shining through his grey eyes.

"Now what would be the fun in spilling all my secrets to you?" You smirked as you clinked your glasses together.

The conversation was easy flowing, not even a second of silence falling up on you. It was hard not to be around the man, you couldn't even recall why you disliked him so much back in school. He was funny and sweet, had a way with words and never made you feel like he was trying to overpower you or look down on you.

You had to accept that he was becoming more and more important to you and you were hoping that you didn't misread the signs, that he was indeed as interested in you as you were in him.

"You know, if you told me in school that I would be sitting here, just having a conversation with you without trying to kill each other or plot something against the other, I would have thought you were under a spell." He shook his head as he looked into the fire.

"I guess I would have reacted the same way." You nodded, following his eyes towards the fireplace. "Would you want us to go back to the old times and try to make each other's life miserable?" You asked as your eyes stared at the man's profile, eagerly waiting for a reply.

A small smile spread across his face, the flames mirroring in his stormy eyes. "No, I wouldn't. I have to admit, I do enjoy your company." He replied wearing his lazy, lopsided smile as he took a swig of his drink.

"Oh my, was that a compliment from Sirius Black himself?" You asked in a mocking surprise, causing the man to roll his eyes at your antics.

It was relaxing, just to sit with him, talk to him about anything and not feeling like you had to censor your own words. His presence beside you made you feel warm and welcomed and whilst you knew it would be a bold statement to say it out loud, he felt like home. A home where you could be yourself without anyone judging you, a home where you were more than welcome, a home where perhaps you were wanted.

The night dragged on, making you feel drowsy. You felt your head fall against the back of the couch, your glass tilting in your hand, dangerously close to spill its content. But before it could have happened, Sirius took the glass from your hand and placed it on the table beside the sofa.

You felt yourself being lifted, your nostrils filling up with Sirius' mixed scent of tobacco, alcohol and caffeine. You forced your eyes to open, realising you were being carried by him. One of his arms was tucked under the back of your knees, with the other balancing your weight behind your back. A lazy smile spread across your face as you enjoyed his arms around you, slumber taking over you once again, before you could have even reached your room.

You couldn't have been asleep for long, when you heard a loud, deep scream coming from another room. It took you a second and third scream to recognise Sirius' voice. You didn't have to roll from left to right, you didn't try to fall back asleep. You jumped out of bed as soon as you processed his pained cries and ripped your door open, running to his room.

You didn't care about politeness and ethics, screw them, you opened the door and stepped inside his room. He was turning and tossing on his bed, the bedside lamp giving you enough light to see his face sweating feverishly, his face pale, his eyes firmly closed. He was having an awful nightmare.

You walked up to his bed, taking a seat on the edge, trying to shake the man to wake up, but he didn't budge. "Sirius?" You held his shoulders, but he didn't wake up. You tried to shake him stronger, but his horrid dream sucked him in so deep, you were unsuccessful. "Sirius!" You raised your voice, giving him a shake again, his eyes shot open, staring at you in surprise. He lifted his arm, removing the sweat drops from his forehead. "Are you okay?" You asked as you removed his hair from his face, gently tucking it behind his ear.

"Yeah-" he breathed, his voice hoarse.

"Do you need anything? I can bring you a glass of water, maybe a blanket?" His skin was freezing cold under your warm touch, concern lacing in your voice as you offered to help. His pyjama shirt rolled up on his stomach, exposing his skin, making it hard for you to look away.

"I'm good." He said as he heaved a deep sigh, his eyes staring at the ceiling. You weren't sure what to do.

"Are you sure?" You were debating to leave him alone, but you couldn't just do that after such a nightmare. You had your fair share of those, and it was harder to fight them alone. However, Sirius nodded, silently asking you to leave. "I'm just going to go back to my room then. If you need anything, just let me know, okay?" You tried to search for his eyes, but he kept staring at the ceiling, his gaze never connecting yours.

You nodded more to yourself and stood up from his bed, heading towards the door. "Could you please stay?" His voice was barely a whisper, but it stopped you immediately. You didn't know how to react, your heart wanted to jump out of your chest after all. You turned around, his eyes fixed on yours, his gaze filled with pain and desperation for someone to hold him.

You heaved a deep sigh and pulled a chair beside his bed, but he shook his head. "No." He said and patted the bed beside him. You gulped loudly, fearing your heart would give you away as soon as he was to touch you, but after taking a shaky sigh, you went along. You have been in need of his touch for so long and you wanted to be selfish. You were there for him, to make him feel better, but you were there for yourself, wanting to feel him close to you.

You climbed on the bed as Sirius held his duvet up for you and you shimmied closer to him, but not enough to touch him.

"Would you mind if I held you?" He asked, his voice weak, making your eyes widen. You didn't expect him to touch you, you thought he needed just a company, someone to take his nightmares away. You felt your hands shake, your throat dry out, your chest tighten from the inside. You nodded at his request and scooted closer to him. Without hesitation he wrapped his arm around your waist as you hid your face in his chest, blessing the soft light for not exposing the crimson red blush covering your cheeks.

"Does it make you feel uncomfortable?" He asked, concern filling his voice, but you quickly shook your head. You weren't uncomfortable, maybe excited would have been the right word. You felt guilty for feeling your stomach jump at his sleepy voice, for your heartbeat racing in a pace you thought was fatal as his arm sneaked around you, for the inappropriate thoughts you had when you were supposed to comfort him innocently.

You didn't know if it was your closeness or his nightmare, but you could feel his heart pumping just as fast as yours was. "I can't sleep." He stated, pulling you even closer, his face hidden in your hair. You tilted your head up, your eyes meeting his grey ones, the dim light making them shine in the darkness.

"Is there any way I can help?" You asked, hoping to ease his mood. You tried to ignore the proximity between you, his lips almost touching yours, his breath fanning your skin, his eyes shamelessly staring at your lips, before they found your gaze again.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered against your lips, his hand squeezing your waist gently. You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears, air dangerously stuck in your lungs. You didn't know what to say, his closeness made you feel dizzy. You wanted to feel his lips against yours for so long, but there you were lying in his embrace and you didn't know how to react.

You heaved a shaky sigh as you slowly nodded. Sirius didn't kiss you immediately; his pace was taunting you as he grazed his lips across yours, back and forth, before he finally closed the space between you.

His chapped lips melted with yours, inviting you for a slow dance. You thought he would attack you aggressively, but there he was studying every inch of your lips, moving with you in sync, his arm pulling you flush against him, your hands gripping on to his shirt as if your life depended on it.

The kiss didn't last long, but it was enough to make you want more. You felt his unsteady breaths on your skin, his hand still holding onto you dearly. You didn't know what came over you, maybe a hint of bravery just resurfaced from deep down, but you couldn't stop yourself from attaching your lips to his again.

You grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to you if that was even possible, his lips hungrily moving against yours as his hand found its way under your shirt. His cold touch sent shivers through your heated body as he climbed on top of you, deepening the kiss.

You definitely didn't expect to find yourself cuddled up to Sirius, let alone kissing him hungrily as his touches explored every inch of your body. But you had to admit, you couldn't have asked for a better night, than feeling home in his embrace. 

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