Title: Teach me how to kiss pt. 2

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word count: 3757

Published: 18 May, 2020

Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore

Notes: The story contained more than 8000 words, therefore I decided to cut it in half, not to overwhelm anyone.

It was the day of your date and you were nervously sitting in the Gryffindor common room, playing with your fingernails.

"Calm down." Sirius instructed you chuckling.

"I can't, what if I screw up something?" You asked frowning.

"You will not. You are pretty, you are funny, you are the perfect company. You don't talk too much, but you speak just enough. You make jokes, but you don't overwhelm the people around you with them. Your witty, sarcastic come backs help you not to let the mood die down. And even if you just shut up, you are pretty enough to just spend the time by looking at you." You had to laugh at his last comment. He was definitely one to always boost your confidence. As much as you were nervous and excited about the date, there was just a slight feeling of negativity in you, which you couldn't really place anywhere. As you looked at Sirius, you felt your chest getting a slight bit heavy. He was smiling happily and you wanted to return it, but you only ended up with a mere half-smile, which was forced onto your face. You didn't know what was going on. You bit into your lower lip as you looked at Sirius and your eyes kept wondering between his lips and grey irises. "You will be fine." He quickly said as he cleared his throat. You didn't even realise that you have been staring at his lips.

"Yeah, I will be." You sighed and stood up.

"Good luck!" He shouted after you as you walked out of the common room. You just raised your hand for a thumbs up before the door closed behind you.

You walked down to the entrance of the castle where Tiberius was waiting for you with an ear to ear smile spreading across his face. You tried to return it and you did manage a smile indeed, but it definitely wasn't as happy as his. You wanted to facepalm yourself for your behaviour. You didn't understand what was going on with you and it frustrated you.

"Hey!" He greeted you, offering his arm for you. You quickly linked yours with his not to show any hesitation.

"Where do you want to go?" You asked with a gentle smile.

"What do you think about Madam Puddifoot's?" He asked, you nodded.

"That would be great." You replied.

The road to Hogsmeade took longer than usual, but you always had something to talk about. It was fun to be around him and you were more and more sure that you chose the right person for a date.

As you entered Madam Puddifoot's, you took a seat at one of the tables in the corner. You took the menu and picked a simple English breakfast tea and some scones. Without hesitation, Tiberius walked up to the counter and placed your orders, then paid for it before walking back with your beverages on a silver tray.

"You shouldn't have. I could have paid for mine." You smiled in a way feeling guilty.

"And in what way would that make me a gentleman?" He asked chuckling.

"You are already a gentleman for not rejecting my date offer." You scratched the back of your head awkwardly.

"Why would I have? It's an honour to be asked out by such a beauty." He replied with a cheeky wink, which made you laugh.

"Thank you though." You nodded more to yourself than to him.

The rest of the afternoon went fairly quick. You had fun, joking around, making fun of people, laughing at simple things. You shared stupid stories about yourselves while picking on each other about little nothings. You certainly had fun and you were glad you have asked him out.

However there was just something in the back of your mind. Sirius Black for instance. He kept appearing in your mind from time to time, completely confusing you. You tried to just hush the thought away and concentrate on Tiberius as much as you could.

The sun started going down and before you knew it, it was dark outside. You decided that it was too late to stay, so you took your bag and jacket and left the cafe. You were walking back to the castle, while talking about the date itself and you both expressed how much you have enjoyed it.

As you arrived to the entrance of the castle, Tiberius stopped and turned towards you. He didn't say anything, but he leaned closer and pressed his lips to yours. Your eyes stayed open for a few seconds before your forced them to close. You returned the kiss just the way Sirius taught you, but as soon as that thought appeared in your head you jumped back.

"Is everything okay?" Tiberius asked with a worried expression.

"I don't know." You replied unsure of what was going on. "You are a sweet boy and I honestly had a crush on you for ages. I always looked up to you and I found you deadly handsome." He chuckled at your comments, but you could feel that it was not heartfelt. "I honestly had an amazing day today..."

"But?" He asked as if he was slightly hurt. "You don't feel it now, right?"

"I am so sorry. I really am. But it feels more brotherly rather than romantic." You explained and he nodded slowly.

"Don't apologise. You can't control what you feel." He smiled while putting his arm around your shoulder and leading you in the castle.

"Thank you for today." You smiled as you arrived to the Gryffindor tower.

"Any time. Even as a friend I plan to keep you. You are definitely a fun person to be around." He chuckled and you returned it. You were happy you went on this date after all. You walked inside the common room to see Sirius, James, Remus and Peter sitting around the fireplace.

"So what happened?" Sirius jumped up from the arm chair, leading you to the couch. "You seem to be in a good mood. Spill it, what happened?" He smirked knowingly, while wiggling his eyebrows in a rather suggestive way.

"Nothing." You replied simply, taking off your jacket and laying it on the back of the couch.

"Nothing? What does that mean?" He frowned at your brief comment.

"It just didn't work out." You shrugged looking into the fireplace.

"But you came in so happy." He tilted his head in confusion. You smiled at his adorable behaviour and the thought that you got richer with a friend.

"I am very happy even though nothing happened." You chuckled at your memories.

"I am lost." Sirius threw his hands in the air.

"I am happy, because I gained a friend." You explained.

"Just a friend? That's it? But why? Did he not try to even kiss you?" He was more confused than you have ever seen before.

"Well he did kiss me. But it just didn't seem right, Sirius." You replied, this time nervously playing with your finger nails.

"Was he a bad kisser then?" He asked, but you quickly shook your head.

"Not at all! I just didn't feel anything. Like nothing." You confessed with your head hanging low.

"I guess the lesson was useless then." Sirius sighed in disappointment.

"What lessons?" James chimed in curiously.

"Erm... dating lesson?" Sirius answered, but it sounded more like a question.

"Sirius Black giving dating advice? That's the funniest joke I have heard this year." James laughed out loud at the thought.

"Very funny, mate." Sirius looked at him as if he was about to go on a killing spree.

"I guess I will just go to sleep." You stood up, taking your jacket with you. Sirius followed you to the stairs and engulfed you in a warm a hug. You slightly jumped as your stomach turned as if you were excited. You felt your heart beat quicken and your palms sweat.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, letting you go just enough to keep his hands around your shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah. Just a hiccup." You smiled, before giving a kiss on his cheek and leaving for your dorm room.

*

The next day, all day you were thinking about your feelings. The kisses you exchanged with Sirius before, the hugs he was giving you throughout the day and the secret glances you took at him while in classes, confused you. You thought you were just imagining things. You thought it was only because of the lesson which still kept you, under some kind of an intense mind game. 

*

A couple of days have passed and you honestly felt like you were going mental. Sirius kept appearing in your head, if not in person. It was like a mental rollercoaster. You got happy when you saw him, you missed him when he was gone. You got excited when he hugged you, you got frustrated when he flirted with others. You wanted to pull at each and every piece of your hair, out of the madness you were feeling. However siding with your better judgment, you decided not to attempt it. You had to let it out now, before you were about to go crazy, therefore you started looking for Sirius. Soon enough you found him in the courtyard talking to James.

"Hey." You greeted them. They stopped talking quite suspiciously fast, but you just shrugged it off.

"What's up, Little one?" James waved at you, which earned a push from Sirius.

"I told you not to use that name!" He warned him seriously, but both James and you just started chuckling. It was a quite common occurrence. James loved to wind Sirius up wherever he could and for some reason your nickname was one of those situations where he got overprotective. Over a name though?!

"It's cool, I don't mind." You replied as always and you already knew Sirius' answer.

"But I do." He growled, putting an arm around your shoulders. "Anyway, what's up?" He asked casually.

"Can I talk to you in private?" You asked playfully kicking the ground with the tip of your shoe.

"Yeah sure." He nodded. "I will catch you later." He looked at James before you started walking towards back to the castle.

"Room of Requirements." You said before he could have lead you the common room.

"It must be serious then." He frowned and you just nodded in confirmation.

As you arrived to the wall, you thought of the only thing that gave you comfort when you were nervous. A black wooden door started appearing.

"That seems awfully familiar." Sirius said before you opened the door. As soon as you stepped in, his eyes widened even more. "This is my room." He frowned. "Why are we in Grimmauld place?" He asked with clear confusion across his face.

"Well, I needed a place that comforts me the most and that's your room. Every time I was upset, when we were younger or every time I got overly happy about something such as receiving my Hogwarts letter, I always ran to you and I let it all out while we were sitting in your room. It reminds me off all the laughs and cries." You explained looking around and as you turned towards him, you could see a warm, blissful smile on his cheeks.

"Thank you." He walked up to you and pulled you into a hug, hinting a kiss on the top of your head. "So, what is going on in that smart little head of yours?" He asked with such an endearing tone, your chest got tighter all of a sudden. You didn't talk, so he let you go for a second, but kept you in arms' length to look at you. "You seem worried." He stated with a deep frown.

"Worried, confused, I don't even know what I feel." You admitted.

"What do you mean? What happened?" He tried to get you to talk.

"I think it's better if we sit down." You gently pushed him towards the bed and sat down on the side, which seemed quite familiar to a set up you have been just about a week ago.

"You are making me worried. You are more serious than I have ever seen you." You nodded in reply, but were still unable to get yourself to talk. "Come on, Little one. You know you can tell me anything." He took your hand and gently started massaging the back of it to comfort you. He always knew what to do to make you feel better and it just made it even harder.

"It will sound weird and you might even be grossed out, but please don't walk away without a word." You almost begged him and it made him even more nervous.

"I will not. Whatever it is, I will listen carefully." He reassured you.

"I think I have made a huge mistake." You looked down at your hand which was held by Sirius. You didn't want to look into his eyes when you told him your secret. "You remember when you said, you didn't want to step over the boundaries?" You asked which earned a 'hmm' sound from Sirius. But you already knew the tone he used. He was suspicious and he had a very realistic idea of where you were going with this conversation. You took a deep breath and decided to continue anyway. "I think I have started to like you." You looked up at him this time, but he was just frowning and looking everywhere but you. "More than a friend." You added, not to leave it without a confirmation. He let go of your hand, which was more painful than a rejection.

"How do you know? You might be just feeling like this because of the kiss." He tried to convince himself of you having false feelings.

"I thought so too." You nodded slowly. "That's why I waited. I thought all my messed up ideas are because of the kiss. But now I am sure they are not. Every time I saw you, I got excited, bubbly, just plain happy. Every time you hugged me, my heart was jumping out of my chest and a little knot appeared in my stomach. Each time I saw you with a girl, I wanted to walk over and curse them into oblivion." You took a deep breath. "That is not how a friend should feel and that is definitely not how I felt before." Sirius stood up from the bed and started walking up and down in front of you.

"I knew we shouldn't have done that." He shouted in frustration, which made you jump for a second. "You know how important you are to me?!" He looked at you for the first time since your confession. "I would give my life for you!" He turned away growling. "I knew it would cause issues and was I right?" He questioned himself before kicking the wooden leg of the bed. "What am I supposed to do now? How can I be your friend again?" You looked down and started playing with your fingernails, just like you did every time you were nervous. You didn't tell him, thinking you would fall into each other's embrace and leave happily ever after, but you definitely didn't expect such a bad response either. The fact that he was so angry and grossed out by the fact that you liked him, broke something in you.

"I am so sorry." You apologised in a whisper. He walked up to you with a hurt expression and squatted down in front of you, lifting your head with his index finger.

"Don't ever apologise for your feelings. It happened, we can't turn it back now." He pulled you into a hug and you just hid your face in the crook of his neck to feel safe once again. "What are we going to do now?" He asked as more of a rhetorical question, but you already knew the answer.

"I guess, it would be better if I just kept a little distance." You replied with a heavy heart, knowing it would take all your determination to stay away from such an important person in your life.

"Is there no other way?" He asked while his already deep frown grew.

"I don't think so. That might help me forget about my feelings so we can return to being friends once again" You explained while you were also convincing yourself that this was the only viable option.

"When you say distancing, what do you mean? You don't even want to talk to me?" He asked desperately and you felt like your heart was breaking into more pieces.

"The best option is not to. As soon as my head got back to its normal state, of course I will be there to nag you once again." You chuckled slightly. He embraced you warmer than ever and the only thing that crossed your mind was to just forget about all these stupid thoughts and feelings to be able to get back to him as fast as you could.

*

Weeks passed and you were suffering. Suffering didn't even begin to cover the feelings and all the thoughts that crossed your mind. You kept your distance just as you promised, but it was harder than you expected. Sirius was in all of your classes, if he wasn't then you met him on the corridor. If you had an exceptionally lucky day and you only saw him just a couple of times, then he appeared in the common room or the Great Hall. He seemed to feel like more of an enemy to your heart than someone who you were fond of.

If it wasn't hard enough to forget someone, then it definitely made it harder when you saw him each and every day. You were at a stage where you were about to give up and just accept that you would never be able to hang out with the most important person in your life. Your feelings didn't get any lighter, they grew for Godric's sake which certainly annoyed you.

You and Sirius exchanged glances wherever you could and you even brushed hands when you walked past the corridors causing you to start the whole process over. You could even handle all of those obstacles, but people asking you what happened between you and Sirius and especially James coming up to you every single day, made it so much more unbearable.

*

You were sitting in the Great Hall, playing around with your lunch in boredom. Since you avoided Sirius, you didn't even sit with the Marauders when you ate, which caused you to feel like you have lost everyone. You still had Lily and Alice, but that was never the same, although you were grateful that they still kept you on your toes.

After about 15 minutes of playing around, your plate consisted of a mess which looked nothing like food and your sighs got even more frequent than before. You decided to just go back to the dorm and rest for the day. Luckily as it was a weekend, you could disappear as much as you wanted. You stood up from the bench and started walking towards the exit, however before you could have reached it, a hand grabbed your arm and turned you back, placing his hand on your waist to keep you steady. As you forcefully got turned around, your eyes met Sirius', now shining in a darker grey colour.

"Let's stop this." He sighed and you could swear he was in pain. You frowned at his sudden change of behaviour.

"What do you mean? I thought we discussed this." You scoffed in disbelief. It was already hard enough for you.

"We did, but I don't want you to keep a distance. I want you to be next to me as much as you can. It's bloody painful like this." You were just simply blinking with a blank expression across your face. What were you supposed to say to that?! You didn't even know the answer. "I don't want to lose you, I can't imagine you being with anyone but me. I like you more than a bloody friend." He confessed and your eyes suddenly grew as big as the plates you just used. Figuratively speaking, of course.

"Are you sure?" You didn't know what to believe and the only thought in your head was the need of some kind of a confirmation that you were not having a blissful dream.

"I am definitely sure." He grinned and pulled you closer, placing his lips on yours.

The sudden attack didn't surprise you though, you reacted as if you knew it all along. You dug your fingers into the hair on the back of his head, gently tugging on it as he played with your lower lip. You started massaging his tongue with the tip of yours, causing him to groan into the kiss, before gaining control again and making the butterflies in your stomach going wild with his care for your lips. You pulled away from him after planting a peck on his lips and looked up at him with a huge smile. "You had a good teacher." He laughed as you gently hit him on the chest.

"Pay up!" You heard James' voice and you looked at Remus, who was taking out a tiny black bag from his pocket and handed it to James. You frowned at their weird behaviour, before turning back to Sirius, who had the same confused expression across his face. Before you could have asked, you got interrupted.

"They had a a bet on how long it would take for you to date finally." Peter explained casually.

You just looked at Sirius, who had a stupidly proud, but happy expression on his cheeks, while his eyes were wondering between yours and your lips. You playfully bit on your lower lip, realising the effects it had on him. Before you could have even said or done something, he waved at your friends and started pulling you after himself.

Godric, were you happy that he taught you how to kiss?!

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like the chapter. Thank you :) I am also taking requests. If you have any, please just let me know.

I do not accept requests with suicide, suicidal thoughts and self-harm. I'm sorry, but those are subjects, that I do not cover for personal reasons. Anything else, let me know.