Hey my lovelies,

I have never even thought that I would have to make a post like this, but according to the comment section of this book, it seems to be necessary. 

As you have seen before, many of my fics are based on tropes that occur in other fics too. I am talking about friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, friends to enemies to lovers, one bed, locked in a room, bet, truth or dare game etc. I could go on forever. 

I thought it would be obvious that certain actions require a person's consent whilst others don't. Some actions can count as harassment, some might be borderline only and it depends on the person who is in the situation. 

I can't possibly know my readers' age, but assuming from the comments, some people here have not been in a relationship or had sex or kissed someone. So, your dear mama Heloise is here to tell you a couple of things she has experienced in her past 27 years. 

Trigger Warning!

If you wouldn't like to read about explanations on Lies, Sexual Harassment and Consent, and the way they relate to my fanfictions, please don't read further!

Lies!

Some of you have kicked off about the main male character or y/n lying. Let me just say that people do lie. There are big lies that one might not able to forgive and there are small "white" lies that sometimes can be considered acceptable not to hurt someone's feelings. So, the fact that you don't agree with y/n's actions is absolutely fine. I'm not writing perfect characters, that would be unreal, but let's look at it from a real perspective. Just because you don't agree with something or you think it's ethically wrong, it doesn't mean someone else thinks the same way. 

So, whilst I don't mind people commenting they agree or they don't agree with the characters' actions, some of the comments made me concerned over how people perceive lies. Not everyone is the same and we all think of different situations in a completely different way. A small lie might make you laugh or just make you grimace and walk away from the situation to calm down, but for others it might be a big issue and possibly they won't be able to forgive it. 

Lies are completely dependent on a person's ethics up until they are not against the law, such as in certain criminal activities. 

Sexual Harassment!

Now this was one that got me. Sexual harassment can be when someone physically does something to you or they talk to you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable in a sexual manner. This could be someone touching your butt or your thigh even though you clearly didn't agree or you are not in that kind of a relationship where this could be accepted. This also can be someone coming up to you with sexual innuendos at your workplace or school that makes you feel uncomfortable. People shouting after you obscene words about how they would "do" you on the street is also harassment. Both physical and verbal actions that has a sexual undertone and makes you feel uncomfortable is sexual harassment. 

Now if it happens in a workplace, you can always talk to the person to stop and if they don't listen, you can go to the HR department and report them. If it happens in your school, you can talk to the person or go straight to the teachers and/or school counsellor if you have one. 

Now in my fics you have seen people being kissed by being pushed against the wall or someone placing their hand on y/n's thigh or kissing them because of a game. 

This could be classified as sexual harassment, however I would like to point out that this is fanfiction, therefore not real and also completely dependent on the person who is in the situation. 

Let me explain why. 

If I like someone and that person likes me, we have mutual feelings towards each other, called pinning, then him kissing me out of the blue wouldn't be considered sexual harassment because I have been waiting for it probably for a long time. However, for some people even if it's their love interest it can be harassment, because even though they have feelings for each other, consent has not been given. So, these are the borderline situations since they depend on you entirely and how you take them. 

But then there are those situations where someone kisses you in a club and you did not indicate that you fancied them in any way or told them they could kiss you. That is clear sexual harassment and must not be accepted. No indication or consent has been given. 

Consent!

Now, I have seen comments where people were saying "Remember to consent" which in itself I appreciate. However, I expected this to be obvious, which I realised it clearly isn't. 

Consent is when you give permission for someone to do something. You see, when you say No to someone they should stop doing whatever they were doing. This could be a sexual act, this could be a kiss or even just a touch that might make you feel uncomfortable. When someone says No, it means they didn't consent, they didn't agree to what's happening to them. 

If someone asks to kiss you or to touch you and you say Yes, it means you have consented to their actions, therefore you agreed. However this doesn't mean that you can't revoke your consent. You might be kissing with someone and realise you don't want to go any further so you ask them to stop. That means you didn't consent for anything else to happen so if they force you to continue or go beyond what you were doing, that is harassment. 

A No is a No. If you consented but then changed your mind and revoked your consent, the other person shouldn't force you to do anything. 

Now, in my fics as I said before you have seen people being kissed abruptly and sure, there were no verbal consent given, which by definition could be sexual harassment. However, these are fanfictions, not real life situation and even if they happen in real life in some cases people will not ask for consent. 

Your partner wanting to kiss you will not ask you every single time if they can kiss you. It ruins the moment. Therefore, in those situation it's your responsibility to say No, if for some reason their actions make you feel uncomfortable. The same way if you want to have sex with your partner and they are not in the mood, you can't keep harassing them about it, because 1) pressuring someone into doing something is not acceptable and 2) that also counts as sexual harassment regardless of the fact that you are in a relationship. 

My characters are usually pinning for each other, therefore there will not be consent given since they kind of know or feel that the other is attracted to them. I, however, do have fics where one kisses the other abruptly and unexpectedly and sure it is in a way sexual harassment, however I can't keep repeating a verbal consent in each and every fic. If you read books, actual physical books, you know the perspective of the main character and you know that they usually fancy the other person, therefore they will want to be kissed even if they don't voice it. 

There are games where people have to kiss each other or do stuff that they are not comfortable with. Of course, in all those cases as well you can say No, noone can force you to do something. However, in my fics when they play truth or dare or some silly game, I always make sure to emphasis that y/n likes the character so consenting verbally is dependent on the person. I don't always write verbal consent because from my perspective they like the male character so they don't feel it's necessary, but maybe for you it's necessary even from your love interest to ask for consent and that is perfectly fine. 

So in conclusion consent isn't always given verbally, sometimes both parties just know that it's there. However, it doesn't mean that if you revoke your consent, it should be ignored. If you say yes, it's consent, if you say no, you didn't agree to do it. If you said Yes, but changed your mind and said No later on, then it should stop the actions. 

Well, with this I think I explained what I wanted. If you would like me to add anything or something isn't clear, please make sure to send me a message or leave a comment. I want everyone to know that this is a safe place for everyone and in no way I ever want to portray an unhealthy, toxic relationship as something acceptable.