Title: Feelings

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word count: 1212

Published: 26 May, 2020

Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore

Have you ever felt like you were feeling something, but you couldn't really point to a word to describe it? Have you ever felt like there were so many feelings inside you, that you didn't actually know what you felt? It's not like you were feeling sad or you were feeling happy. You weren't even feeling empty. It was something. Something that you couldn't really pin point, you just felt it.

You were sitting at the Black lake, enjoying the sun's rays gently stroking your skin. Sometimes it was burning a bit, while other times it was not providing enough warmth for you, forcing goosebumps all over your lower arm. The silent breeze was blowing your hair all around into any direction, as if even the wind couldn't decide what it wanted.

It was strange to feel everything and nothing at the same time. You felt maybe melancholic, maybe not. It felt like maybe loneliness, maybe sadness, but you didn't feel sad after all. You were just feeling. Who even invented feelings...they were confusing to say the least. And there were so many of them.

Were you maybe nostalgic? Memories of your childhood appeared in front of you, looking into the clear, tiny waves attacking the shore of the lake. You felt a smile spread across your face as you thought of your family. You loved each and everyone of your relatives. You couldn't have wished for a better family and you felt content, you felt lucky. Is it luck? Definitely.

Your cheerful smile disappeared at the thought of the people who weren't fortunate enough to have a wonderful childhood, full of laughs and happiness. So many things happened out of luck. You were lucky to have an understanding and easy-going mother. You were blessed to have a fun and protective father, who would have given anything for you. You were certainly lucky.

But you felt something. Something of an empty feeling though. Like you were missing something. It wasn't panful, nor exciting. Just empty. You needed something that you couldn't form in words. Your feelings frustrated you. Frustration. Another feeling. Why are there so many different feelings. It's like playing roulette. Another feeling decides to surface all the time. They just become confusing after a while. Confusion? Again? You just can't keep up. It's overwhelming.

You huffed in annoyance and laid back on the grass looking up at the sky, hiding in between the branches of the tree. You sighed trying to count all the different shades of blue, but there were so many, it was an impossible task.

You decided to close your eyes and this time you were concentrating on all the different colours the sun provided behind your closed eyelids. It was dark, but the sun's rays bombarded you with colourful lights. You saw yellow, orange, red, they made you feel warm, even if the wind wasn't providing you with heat as much as it should have.

You heard footsteps approaching as the fallen branches broke under the heavy weight. But they were unusually light for a human. You opened your eyes and the sight of the big, furry, black dog caused a smile to force its way across your face.

"Hey, Padfoot." You greeted the dog and sat up, pulling your crossed legs under you. The dog laid down in front of you and put his head on your crossing shins. You stroked his back and played with his ears. "Why are you in your dog form?" You asked, but it was more of a rhetorical question, you didn't expect him to answer. You took his paw into your hand and inspected it with the biggest grin ever. 

"You have the cutest paws I have ever seen." You giggled and he barked at you happily. He jumped up, wiggling his tail and attacked you with his tongue. He licked across your face, not leaving an inch dry. You tried to push him away, but he didn't let you. "Padfoot, stop! That's disgusting. You need to brush your teeth." You chuckled, wiping your face off, causing the dog to stop. He sat down beside you and looked away from you. "Are you sulking?" You asked, but you could just hear a growling sound leaving his lungs. You wrapped your arms around his frame, realising how well the big dog felt in your arms. "I love you, even with your smelly breath." You chuckled, but the dog growled again. "Fine you don't have a smelly breath." You huffed. He jumped again, making you fall back to the ground, but this time he licked you only once. Luckily.

When you looked up at him, he was in his human form again. "Much better." You whispered, before leaning forward and kissing him on the lips gently. You didn't feel like you were missing anything anymore. You felt content and happy.

"I guess I was successful." You raised an eyebrow, being unable to understand what he meant. "You seemed to be off. I thought I could cheer you up." He smiled, gently caressing your cheek.

"I am happy. But then I am always happy when you are here." You giggled, pulling him down to the grass and laying your head on his chest, while he wrapped an arm around your body. You looked up into his deep, grey eyes, smiling. You were definitely happy. He made you feel like you were walking ten meters above the clouds. Like you were capable of anything. He was definitely a person in your life who knew how to always push you to the right direction. 

"I believe you, I love to be around me too." He smirked and you just hit his chest playfully.

"You are unbelievable." You scoffed, but you couldn't hide the grin trying to spread across your face.

"But you love me anyway. And I'm one lucky man to have you." He hinted a soft kiss on the top of your head, then on your nose. You closed your eyes and just enjoyed the blissful moment.

"You are indeed. Everyone wants a piece of me." You giggled but instead of an expected confident grin, he pulled you closer, wrapping both of his arms around you.

"I'm not letting them." He growled. "Hell, I'd rather curse them." He scoffed. You pulled yourself up, which seemed to be quite a hard task with his arms around you, but you managed to hint a tiny kiss on his lips.

"I love an overprotective Sirius." You whispered.

"And I love you." He replied looking straight into your eyes. You smiled in content and closed the gap between you once again. 

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like the chapter. Thank you :) I am also taking requests. If you have any, please just let me know.

I do not accept requests with suicide, suicidal thoughts and self-harm. I'm sorry, but those are subjects, that I do not cover for personal reasons. Anything else, let me know.