Snape demands Harry to turn out his pockets and takes the Marauders Map to examine it
James: Oh Snivellus, I'd love to see you try
Lily: What does it do?
James: You'll see in about a second.
Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Lily: Oh for Merlin's sake, the map insults people, too?
James: *grinning* It insults people but drags Snivellus.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Lily: JAMES!
James: *innocently* What? It's the map.
Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
James: *stifles his laughter*
Lily: Will you ever grow up?
James: Nope.
Mr. Wormtail bids, Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.
James: Ugh, I forgot that prat was there, too.
Lily: I can't believe you did advanced magic just to insult people.
James: You have to admit it's a masterpiece though.
Lily: All the brains you had and you created a map that says slimeball.
James: *sad* You don't know what the map is capable of Lils.
Lily: You are so lucky he is asking about it to Remus.
James: Another proof that Snivellus is a complete idiot but yeah, Remus would know what to do with the map and maybe see that the bloody rat is on it.
Lily: Look at him bullshit his way out of this. Incredible.
James: *smiling* All of you thought he was the innocent one, I mean, that man can bullshit his way out of anything.
Remus takes the map from Snape and takes Harry and Ron with him to talk, he is very angry with Harry.
Lily: Harry is in big trouble.
James: *frustrated* For Godric's sake, Sirius is not after Harry. I want to throw a rock at Moony's head. *imitating Remus* These mapmakers would have wanted to lure you out of school. Fuck you Moony.
"Do you know them?" said Harry, impressed.
"We've met," he said shortly.
James: WE'VE MET??? WE'VE MET??? YOU– I MEAN– I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE–
Lily: *soothingly* James, deep breaths
James: I became a fucking stag for that man, don't tell me to take deep breaths.
Lily: *sarcastically* You've got a point, keep on yelling.
"I can't make you take Sirius Black seriously."
James: *apruptly stops* Tell me he didn't just say "take Sirius Black seriously"?
Lily: *laughing* Yes he did.
James: *disappointed* The Remus I know wouldn't have told that without an eye roll.
Lily: *slowly rubbing James' back* A lot changes in twelve years, love.
James: *ruffling his hair* They shouldn't have.
Lily: *reassuringly* It will be alright soon. Look, Remus has the map now, he will see that Peter is in the castle, Remus will know it wasn't Sirius.
James: Sure but still, I can't shake the feeling that it will never be the same.
Lily: If I know Remus and Sirius even just a little, it will be better.
James: The stars to his moon, yeah?
Lily: *smiling* Exactly