Chapter No. 44 Solacium et dolor

Oh that my grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together!

Estard swallowed hard when she saw the dungeon door swing open and Paladin march in. He looked like he had a bad case of hemorrhoids and it made her nervous. She peered down at him from her position on the wall.
"Are you here to beat me?"

Paladin shook his head. "No. I am here to release you."

"Am I to be executed?"

"No." The reply was terse, as if it was the product of frustration.

He moved a small platform over and mounted it so that he could unlatch the fetters that pinned Estard to the wall. She fell into his arms and he gently lowered her to the floor.

"I am weak, my lord," she said, grimacing. "I fear that I am incapable of walking."

Paladin blew out a long sigh. "I have sent for Mara. She will see to your needs."

"Thank you, my lord."

Paladin stared into her eyes for several minutes, not sure what he wanted to say. "I did not wish to see you suffer like this, but I . . . the others demanded some form of punishment."

"I understand," she said, averting her eyes. "I have committed many onerous sins, sins that deserve death. I assure you that I did not derive satisfaction from them, but I did them, nevertheless. I am truly sorry."

He swallowed. "My wife and child were brutally executed by the Empire. Every man here has suffered similar loss. Despite all that I have suffered, I forgive you, but the others may not be so lenient."

She returned a subtle smile. "I understand, my lord."

He sighed.

Mara entered the chamber and immediately went to Estard's side. "Drink," she said, offering her a cup of water.

Estard gulped the water, much of it dribbling down her chin. When she had taken her fill, she blew out a relaxed breath. "Thank you, Mara."

Paladin backed toward the door. "I will leave you in Mara's capable hands."

"Thank you," Estard said, managing a more energetic smile.

He nodded and took his leave.

"I don't know if I can walk," Estard said, struggling to get to her feet.

Mara helped her up and slapped her back. "You can do it. You're tough."

Estard stumbled over to the door. "I hope I can live up to your expectations of me." She opened the door but hesitated. "Where am I to go?"

"You can stay with Hilton and me. We've taken over an old stable, and we have plenty of room."

"Are you sure that Hilton will approve of your kindness to me?"

Mara smiled. "He'll get over it."

The old stable was off in a more secluded area of the rebel compound. Paladin had permitted the move because it removed Mara and his son from the main billet area. Out of sight, out of mind.

"You live in a stable?" Estard said when she entered behind Mara.

"Hilton and I cleaned it up. It's a lot better than a tent, I get to be near Chevron, and we have much more privacy."

Estard grinned. "How convenient."

Mara gave her a smirk before she pointed at a bunk off near the wall opposite Mara's bunk. "That's yours. All the comforts of home."

Estard shuffled over to the bunk and collapsed into it. "After what I've been through, this is pure heaven."

"I'm not surprised."

Estard smiled back.

"Why don't you let me examine your injuries," Mara said, kneeling at Estard's side.

"I would appreciate that very much, Mara."

Mara stared into Estard's eyes as she moved closer and began to lovingly unlatch the reclining woman's tunic blouse. Their lips met, slowly at first and then with increasing passion.

Hilton quietly watched from the doorway. He felt his stomach turn and his face flush with anger and disgust. He turned away, but not before Mara sensed his presence and turned.

"I'll be back," she said to Estard, while holding a finger to Estard's lips.

Mara arose and chased after Hilton.
"Hilton," she yelled. "Stop."

Hilton stopped but he did not turn around. Mara rushed to his side. "Why did you run off like that?"

He turned to reveal his angry face. "Why do you show that . . . that woman affection after what she has done?"

Mara lowered her eyes. "I don't know. She is like a sister I never had."

"Do sisters kiss as passionately as you and she?"

"I love her," Mara said, looking unflinchingly into his eyes. "But, it's not the same kind of love that I have for you."

His eyes reflected confusion. "What do you mean? You talk in riddles, Mara."

"My love for you is a love that only women and men can have. I love Estard because she is a female like me."

"That doesn't make sense, at least not to me."

"Look, Hilton. Why don't you release your hatred and anger and help me take care of this woman. She has repented her crimes and needs our forgiveness. You'll feel better."

He shook his head. "You are unlike anyone I've ever known, Mara. You can kill heartlessly and yet you can love with a big heart."

She thrust her fists into her hips. "I do not kill because I enjoy it, if that's what you mean. I do it because it is a duty I must fulfill."

"You sound as if you're on some sort of mission."

"I am, young Hilton. I am. I am here to bring peace to this Empire, and one of the ways to bring peace is to forgive."

Hilton ran his hands through his hair. "I don't know what to think. I do know that I love you, and if this is so important to you then I will help you."

She grabbed him and planted her lips firmly into his. That brought a big smile to his face.

###

"The men are not happy that you released Estard," Morton said as he approached Paladin.

Paladin looked out over the mesa and sighed. "I'm not surprised," he said without turning. "In my opinion, this woman has repented and has joined our cause. I know that it will not sit well with many, but it is my judgment, and I'm sticking to it."

"You'll get no argument from me," Morton said. "But, it will cause a schism, and we cannot afford an internal rift at this point."

Paladin turned to him. "I realize that, but my choice will benefit our mission in one important way."

"How so, my lord?"

"It will satisfy Mara."

"Yes. Mara is the key to our eventual victory."

Paladin turned back to looking out at dusk settling on the mesa. Owls circled above, using their keen eyesight to spot small rodents and lizards out foraging for insects.

"There is more to this than victory. Mara has been sent to us to affect the peace that must invariably follow the end of this conflict. Without her, we would be reduced to imitating these predators, simply the stronger feeding on the weaker."

"It is the way of nature as it is the way of men."

Paladin looked back at him. "We must change that. We must construct a lasting peace."

"That will be a most daunting task, my lord."

"Yes it will, but Mara will have it no other way."

Morton shook his head. "No doubt."

###

Sir Volta banged his fist on a table hard enough to make cups and plates jump into the air. "That bitch thinks she's running this damn army." He pointed at Sir Nolka and Sir Jimmer. "If we don't do something, we'll all be cow towing to a female."

"What can we do?" Nolka said, running his hand through his black curly locks. "No one wants to take her on. She's dangerous."
Volta leaned back in his chair and huffed. "I know it, damn it. We'll just have to let the damn Empire take care of her."
"How can we do that?" Jimmer asked. His hawkish face and beady eyes oozed confusion.
"I have an idea, but it'll require some deception on your part."
"How so?" Nolka asked.
"I want you to go to Paladin and tell him that there's another royal running from the Empire's dogs. Tell them it's in the Arkanon region. He'll send that bitch and her lackey to investigate."
"So what," Jimmer said. "They've proven that they can handle a skirmish with a raiding party."
"Great," Volta said, grinning like a fat Cheshire cat. "I'll let the word out that the bitch is going to show up near Arkanon without an army to protect her. She may be able to handle a raiding party, but she's not going to be able to deal with a large army."
"I pray you are right," Nolka said. "If she comes back, we're all going to be in big trouble."
"Who cares," Volta said, puffing his chest. "We'll be in control of this compound. She'll have to fight her way back in."
"You lost me," Jimmer said. "How are we going to take over the compound?"
"Leave that up to me," Volta said, thumping his barrel chest with his ham-sized fist.