HOOKED: THE PORN STAR By RavenAqua

ONE (Chapter Title)
Contemporary Romance (Genre)
Divorce, Healing, Abandonment, Betrayal, Forgiveness (Themes)
First Person Past(very consistent)
Suspense level (🌝🌝🌝🌝🌗)
Second chapter reading available upon request

---------------- 8.10.2020 -----------

Hello

thank you for letting me read your first chapter. Things to look for in a first chapter.

- clear genre (Finding love again? Contemporary Romance? not sure)
- clear time period (present)
- clear MC (check; Francine)
- few characters introduced (check: Richard (grr), Susan, and Francine)
- tension / suspense (very good)
- a life-changing event/ decision (yes)

I'll be honest. This was a difficult read and you are to be credited for that. It was hard because it was so palpable. When I saw the title and the cover, I didn't want to read this. It looked like something you'd hide in an attic to partake in. But hey, I never judge a book by its cover so off I went. MAN, am I ever happy I did.

The writing was smooth. The story was smooth and the transition...oh so smooth. The way she felt dejected and unloved. I felt that. The way she was hanging on to a sliver of hope in the face of an impossible reality, I felt that. And the way she uttered those last (rosebud...) cryptic words, I FELT THAT.

I don't know if I'd find the strength to put myself through the roller coaster ride this promises but I'd be more than confident in knowing you could pull it off, all based off this one chapter. You hit the ground running and you don't let up and you don't let your foot leave that gas and JUST when we think it's final and done, BOOM, you slam us into that final sentence wall.

My head's spinning and my ears are ringing and I can't stop smiling because it's amazing that a piece of art someone created out of their skull could resonate that strongly.

I gave some technical suggestions. They are up to you if you wish to use them or not. I do think the word 'slut' is overused. You could try 'homewrecker, tramp, insta-hoe,' what have you.

Thanks for a great read. (I'd consider changing that cover but that's just me. Again, this is all up to you, YOU'RE the author, and a fine one at that).

Happy writing!

(End)

Romance (LynaForge)