Something Ares said really stuck to me, that I must find some kind of joy in this. I can't get it out of my mind; what makes him believe that this is fun? Also when he called me selfish, I hadn't heard it before, it hung in the air eerily, even people who heard Ares say that to me looked surprised. I knew some of them, and most of them recognized me. When people thought of me, selfish didn't come up, at least I didn't think so. Maybe all this time, I didn't want to think of it. Exhaustion took over me, I should get some rest, I went to my hiding spot earlier, and although it reeked of blood, it was the only spot I could think of. I curled up in the corner as much as I could after thinking I would be safe.

Sleep wouldn't come easily, but when it did, all I could dream of was camp, what were they thinking of me right now. What Nico is saying to try to defend himself because everyone is going to assume that he would be able to sense it too but didn't say anything. Are they going to hate me for taking pity on the girl? I tossed and turned through the night, I was surely beyond exhausted, I was hallucinating, someone above me. Someone above me! I shot my eyes opened as they were swinging for my throat, I shot my head up, receiving a deep cut on my forehead. Blood clouded my vision as I grabbed my pocket knife and swiped wherever I thought I saw the person. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and tried to stop blood from pooling in my eyes, and I swiped the final blow, a cut so deep his head fell directly back, his throat opening up and squiring blood on me.

Shock took over me; I poured some water on my forehead, healing myself a bit, trying to feel a bit better so I can truly process. I stared at him, no chance of him being alive. It was a Roman kid, I just wasn't sure who's kid. So easily I took his life, and all I got was a cut on my forehead. He didn't want to die, he was just trying to eliminate his threats. Ares was right, I am selfish, not only that, but I do feel something with this. Like I'm not so perfect, and there's no stress so be, those urges I've had, I can act on them, and no one can get mad because I'm just trying to survive. I laughed, not one of joy, but one out of despair.

"Stupid gods! Stupid!" I screamed as I stabbed him again, even though he's dead. "I hate you!" I screamed more, some people probably heard me, but they're probably afraid. "I'm sick of being used by you, being some pawn, I'm just for your entertainment now, aren't I!" I sobbed, cradling myself, how could I do this? I felt so torn, it felt so wrong but so right, and I hate it. I shouldn't be like this. Two people, that's it, two people. I got up, putting some of the healing potion on my forehead before placing him next to the girl. They deserve it for killing people so easily. I deserve it. I deserve to suffer like this. I deserve the hurt I got. I deserve to die, not like this though; I won't, I can't.

I left the room, there were bodies every once in a while, I probably walked past 30, people are dying quick, maybe this is just the busiest floor. I decided to walk downstairs, maybe there's a bathroom down there. It was a silly thought but oh well. Everyone was asleep, it seemed like most of these people on this floor formed an alliance because they were laying in the open. Didn't really think about people coming to this floor, clearly. I decided to go through some pockets, grabbing whatever I could, I was hesitant about potions though, maybe they had the same idea as me. I resulted to the smell test, the healing one had a sweeter scent to it, but I was still hesitant.

I put some of the poison on peoples lips, I'm not sure how toxic it is so maybe it won't do anything. I heard rustling behind me, and I grabbed my pocket knife and another bigger knife I stole from someone, I got ready to lunge. I felt something sharp dig into my side, and then it stab me again a bit higher. I turned around, not really aiming. The knife stabbed through their eye, I yanked it out and stabbed again, a stab for a stab, to bad they did it twice. They collapsed to the ground loudly and I cursed. Fuck, I said I wouldn't do it again! I heard people moving and I stumbled upstairs, falling against one of the stairs. My vision was starting to go blurry, but I put some water and healing potion onto it and tried to continue going upstairs. I was hardly managing, I need to rest. I can't die, not now, I have to show Annabeth what her stubbornness did to me. It made me a murderer.

"Fuck, that hurt." I growled under my breathe before deciding I was safe and sitting against a wall. People were still sleeping, probably would for another hour or two. My cut healed quickly, and I felt fine enough to keep going. I stole water from people and food, so I got water to my advantage. Probably one of the only ones that have the advantage, other than having an Apollo kid by your side. "Maybe the top floor will be safest, maybe," I mumbled before quietly making my way up, nobody was moving around, they were scared and tired, I'm the same way to be honest, but I can't sit around and ignore it, I have to move.

The top stairs was basically deserted, lights were on, which was strange, I thought there was no power. I saw a sign, 'bathrooms' and I was surprised, wow in a mansion of murder, there's a bathroom, how courteous.