MANNAT'S END

11. THE AFTER EFFECTS OF HUSSAIN!

Its been a week that I met them, after coming from the hotel I felt a hole in my heart. It wasn’t the behaviour of Hussain which was bothering me, neither was the incident happened in his room… but still I was feeling strange, my feelings were changed since that day. I couldn't name my feelings, couldn't describe them….. being so close to him made differences I guess, those moments when his breath was fanning my face, those moments when he was staring into my eyes, holding my wrist…. he wasn’t a star or a hero for me any more, he became something else… even more then a star, more then a hero.

I was standing in front of the mirror in my room, looking at my reflection. My eyes still have the image of him, I touched my hanging locks they touched his face, I looked at my wrist, the scar near my pulse was almost faded by now but the pain…. Pain was increasing with every passing day. I felt the hole, the void created inside me, I think I lost something….my heart!!

 Everything was changed, for the last whole week I couldn’t sleep or eat properly,  was having on and off fever but that was the gift of weather I  guess. Mama Baba were positive about sending me to NewYork and now I was a bit reluctant. I heard the door open and Mama Baba entered, I looked away and sat on my bed.

“kesa hai mera bacha ub? I hope the fever has gone” Mama touched my forehead.

“Am okay Mama…. Much better” I lied.

“Baba! I want to study here, I don’t want to go anywhere else” I told Baba, they were sitting with me on my bed now, I had fever last night.

“But Beta, you wanted to study abroad then what happened now?” Mama asked holding my hand.

“I think, I wont be able to live with out you two, and you will miss me as well. So no going anywhere else” I said, looking at Mama’s hand.

“Mannat beta, we are done with all the formalities, and teen din rehte hen tumhare jane mein.” Baba said.

 I was about to say something when Rida entered in my room…

“Hello hot head!” she chirped and I smiled at her..

“Hello uncle, hi aunty”

Hello beta! good to see you, tum he samjhao ise, at the 11th hour now she is refusing to go to Newyork” Mama said, she stood up and Rida literally jumped on my bed.

“fiker he na Karen aunty, mein aa gai hoon na achi tara samjhati hoon is ko” She eyed me and I rolled my eyes.

Mama Baba left the room and Rida started staring me like idiots.

“kia hai?..... have you gone mad?” I said, irritated.

“No, am perfectly alright dear, you have gone mad. Why the hell you are behaving like this?”she asked looking closely at my face and I looked away.

“I don’t know Rida, am just not feeling good” I felt like puking.

“Mannat, tell me what happened in the hotel, I have been asking you this since that day. You were so tensed  when you came back from their room, and now you are reluctant in going to NY.what happened?” rida put her hand on my hand and my eyes pooled up.

“Mannat!.... Mannat,kia hua yaar? Please stop crying, batao mujhe kia hua”Rida got worried.

I told her everything that happened there… she listened everything calmly, stroking my hand assuring me all was fine.

“Mannat why didn’t you tell me before?” she asked.

“I don’t know Rida, I just don’t understand what is wrong with me…. You know I didn’t watch Yaari even” I said, feeling sad. It was the movie I was waiting for so long and I didn’t watch that.

“why?” she asked.

“pata nai Rida…. Am afraid” I said, looking into space.

“Afraid?.... afraid of what Mannat?” Rida held my hand in her and asked .

“I…I am afraid…. Mama was right Rida, you were right too. I just went too far with all this, you were right Rida! Ye fan girling buhat age nikal gai lagta hea. Am afraid mein wapas na aa pai to?” I didn’t know what I was saying, I held her hand in mine.

“Mannat, don’t take things to your heart like this, I know you are so strong. Whatever happened in the hotel was just an incident… bhool jao.”She tried to comfort me.

“you know, I havnt seen his pcture for last whole week, I am afraid I would look at him and would lost into his eyes again….and won’t be able to come back. Us din… us din bhi yei hua tha. I just couldn’t look away Rida. I was… I was so lost in his eyes.” I said a tear came out of my eye.

“ohooo Mannat tum zada he kuch soch rai ho, I have never seen you like this. Kia ho gaya hea. And what you just told me, us k accordingly to tumhen nafrat kerni chaiye us se ub, such a pervert he was” she sounded angry, why the hell I wasn’t angry on him.

“hai na?.... hai na Rida, mujhe nafrat kerni chiaye na us se?.... that is why am afraid, I should hate him, dislike him… but I just can not stop thinking about him Rida!…. The more I try to shake him off from my mind the more he empoweres my mind and heart” I looked at the place where once I had the huge Dhoombros board.

I remained silent for a couple of minutes….

“Rida!

I think…… I think I have fallen in love with him”I said, looking into space and Rida looked at my face completely speechless.

“Mannat!”

“Isi liye dar lag raha hea Rida, ub wahan jane se dar lag raha hea… us k bare men soch k bhi dar lag raha hea. I didn’t watch his movie Rida I want to stop thinking about him, I want to come out of his trance.”I wanted to cry.

“I know, I know one day I will be getting married to Shehroz, and there is no way I can deny this fact. But am afraid Rida, I won’t be able to love him…. I won’t be able to love anyone else” I added.

“Mannat, dekho abhi tum pareshan ho that is why you are thinking so much. Relax your mind, Hussain is only a star Mannat and we all love the stars and heros we admire…. So please don’t take things on a different level, relax your mind” she huggd me .

“I don’t want to go there Rida, agar mein dobara us se mili to kabhi wapas nai aa paoon gi” I hugged her back….

Rida spent the day with me, then in evening she left and I was left alone in my room, I took a shower and changed into my night dress. When I came back to the room, I looked up at Hussain’s picture… I went closer and touched that… I felt warmth and suddenly I snatched back my hand.

I took out the box and looked at the Rolex watch which I bought a couple of months back…. I held it in my hand and then put it back, took out  a paper and started writing;

Hussain!

I never knew what love was, I never knew how it feels when one falls into the traps of love. I adored you, admired you.. you were the star on earth, the superhero. I loved when you worked with Maleeha, I loved it when I thought you two were seeing each other…. But today when I know what love is, when I know how it feels being in a hopeless love…. I don’t like the idea of you being with someone else, you are no more just a star for me now. I don’t know how things changed so suddenly, I couldn’t understand my own feelings but I know…. I Know I have fallen in love with you. Maybe it all happened already back in past but I realized now…..

You were so close to me, I could feel your heartbeat, I could feel the warmth of your body, your breath…. I wish I could stop the time right there and then. I could have gazed into your eyes for hours without getting tired, I could have looked at your face for hours without blinking an eye.

Pehle piyar kerna nai aata tha, ub ker liye to bhula nai paoon gi!!

For you, there must be so many fans who love you…. Even more then I do, there would be so many girls who die on you…even more then I do. But for me…. for me you are the only one Hussain. You were the first and you will be the last man I have fallen in love with.

I was correctly named as Mannat, I was my dada ji’s mannat and his mannat was granted by God… now my mannat is you, and He won’t grant it I know. Maybe it is destined like this.

My last letter to you, Hussain!

 Mannat!!!

I finally surrendered  before their wish and the arrangements were done, my ticket was there placed in my room. All the formalities were done, my flight was due in a day and still I wasn’t sure of going there.

I packed my stuff, mama and Rida helped me a lot and I didn’t talk about anything to them not even Rida, who looked super excited about everything.

“Rida! Did you tell anything to Mama or Baba?” I asked her, once mama was gone out from my room.

“Hmm, well, I didn’t say anything especial they were hell worried about you Mannat, what do you think! they dint know what were you going through…… there was something wrong with you they felt that too Mannat.”she said, I knew I couldn’t hide anything from them, she was right.

“tum ne sab kuch bata diya unhen?” I asked, I felt embarrassed.

“nope, pagli! In fact I didn’t mention anything about the incident… just told them that you wanted some distance from all this… because you want to concentrate on Shehroz” She winked at me and I rolled my eyes, such a drama she was.

We completed the packing…  thought I should talk to mama about all this so I went to her room, but she wasn’t there. I searched the study Baba was reading a book there and I didn’t want to disturb him. So I went to see her in the lawn and there she was, sitting and admiring the flowers.

“Mama! Kahan then ap, kahan kahan dhoonda ap ko” I ran towards her and sat on the grass and put my head on her lap.

“I was just looking at the flowers, I think they are sad too, dear. They are used to of you and your chatters… they wll miss you Mannat” Mama said, her tone already nostalgic.

“Mama! I told you mujhe nai jana then why all this? Itna lamba time ap logo k bager” I said, she put her fingers in my hair and started caressing.

“Mannat! Sach bataoon to….. I wanted you to you to go abroad, I knew I was a bit insecure first but then I thought that meri beti buhat samajhdar hea, she will take care of thngs there, right?” Mama said softly.

“nai,ap ki beti bilkul samajhdar nai hea” I shook my head and she chuckled.

“Acha come on, get up! Yahan betho mere pass” She made me sit on the couch with her and held my hands in her. She was way too serious.

“Mannat, I studied abroad… worked there for years but then came back and got married wth the man I was committed when I was too young. I had dreams, dreams of becoming the top surgon ofLondon, dreams of meeting MJ…..”she chuckled at the end, I knew she loved him….

“but beta, after getting married to your father, I became a wife, a daughter in law and then a mother…. I forgot about my dreams, had to forget MJ as well” Mama said and this time I chuckled, she sounded like a teen.

“but I had and have no regrets Mannat, I and your father, we loved eachother, and still do… our love gets stronger with every passng day… you know why? Because of you my angel!” Mama kissed my forehead and I smiled warmly at her.

“I know how it feels to be a girl mannat, I was one back then. I know how it feels when you truly love and want something but you just couldn’t get that, Mannat! I want you to live your life. I want you to live the dreams you saw in your little fantasy. I know one day you will be sitting at my place, holding your daughter’s or son’s hands…. You will be a wonderfull wife one day….. Shehroz is so lucky, but till then you are Mannat Salaar, our daughter. Go and live your dreams beta!” I was in tears, I hugged her and she patted my back softly.

“I just want my chirping little sparrow back from New York, okay!... promise me you will look after yourself”mama said and I smiled at her warmly

“I promise” I felt so light, so good. Going to New York was easier now.

********************

 “Mannat beta! Hammad will come and pick you from the airport. He is a nice boy, must have grown up into a big boy by now… when I saw him last time he was just an infant.” Baba told me, we were going to the airport. Mama Baba were sitting at the front seats while I took the back seat…. Feeling nostalgic already.

“but Baba am going to live in the institute’s built in housing area, they have accommodation facility” I told baba.

“yeah we know, but as you don’t know anything about the city now so for a couple of days live with Sohail. His wife Rabia is a very humble and loving lady Mannat, you will love each other and Hammad is their only son. I have told Sohail about your flight, he was too excited about your coming” Mama said, and I smiled.

Baba parked the car and we came out, he put my luggage on the trolley and hired a porter for me so that I wont have to drag my luggage till the immigration.

“Mannat beta,apna buhat ziada khayal rakhna, no carelessness… no late night studies and eat properly and yeah! have fun as well.” Baba put his arm around my neck and said, I smiled at him.

I was walking towards the departure lounge, with Baba’s arm around me and holding mama’s hand. We came to the lounge and stopped there, my porter was holding my trolley.

“Mannat! Here…. This is for you” Mama gave me a paperbag and I took it wondering what was that.

I put a hand inside and without taking it out I knew what that was, I looked at Mama Baba they were smiling back at me, I took it out….. it was a Nikon D3100, My God! I gasped.

“Wow! Mama, Baba this is……..” I couldn’t finish my sentence and  hugged them holding my new DSLR in one hand.

“Be happy Beta! and use it well” baba patted my head and winked at me.

“The strap is inside the bag…. Don’t hold it like this all the way to NewYork… gir jae ga” Mama said ponting towards the camera and I chuckled.

“chalo ub you are getting late, go” baba said patting my shoulder, I could feel the pain in their eyes but for my sake they were smiling. I hugged them tight as I knew am gong to miss this kind of a hug for next so many days.

I waved them bye and along with the porter I entered in the check in area…. I kept on looking at my back and waving at them, I saw baba hugged Mama as tears fell down on her cheeks I rubbed my own cheeks as tears pooled up in my eyes. I checked in got my boarding card, and headed towards the immigration.

HUSSAIN’S END

“Sometimes I wonder yar! Kahan se shuroo kiya tha or kahan aa gaye hen…. or kahan puhanchen ge, who knows” Waqas said thoughtfully. It was the third time we watched Yaari at out place on out home theatre, well it wasn’t self praising but it feels great every time we watch it. It was a worth watching movie…..

“yeah! who knew it that one day after like 6 or 7 years we would be sitting here in New York, watching our own movie” Shehry added, a smile was spread on his face.

“let us make an other…. I mean we should carry on with this stuff man! We were awesome in Yaari, why not we take it more seriously” Atif said excitedly.

“But bro! what about your modelling dreams and singing fantasies…” I asked Atif and he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully…. “and Waqas! What about you direction plans” I added looking at Waqas.

“hmmmm! You are right, and I think it happens everywhere…. People they make a perfect team do well, in fact great and then they get parted, on their own tracks in their own lives. They get busy” Shehry said, looking glum.

“It happens but one thing is there for sure, we were Dhoombros, we are Dhoombros and will be the same Dhoombros for ever, doesn’t mater yaar, where we live or what we do… we will always be like this. Right?” I said enthusiastically and they smiled warmly at me. I smiled back.

“why so serious man?.... come on, its time to celebrate. After all Sain is going to Baaaallywood” Waqas chirped in his typical full of life tone and I couldn’t help giggling.

“oye hoye! Vekho to zara… kese kuriyon ki tarah muskura raa hea, tere rishte ki bat ho rai thi bhai” Shehry smacked my head and I smiled cheeckily.

“wese too bhool jae ga humein wahan ja ker” Atif stood up from the couch and pointed a finger at me.

“nope man! Not possible….insan sab kuch bhula sakta hea mager Koi apni saanson ko kese bhula sakta hea, tum sab to meri saanson k sath jurre ho” I flaunted a dialogue and Shehry and Waqas stared my face with mouth half open.

“Dialogues check karo bachey ke…….. cha gaya tu oye!” Waqas whistled and Shehry and Atif started clapping.

“Hey! Come on, I was serious” I rolled my eyes, couldn’t manage to hide my smile.

“Chal lets have some Nachos…….am not in a mood of cooking man!” Shehry said, spreading his arms wide open.

“Tera mood phir pay kerne ka ho ga” Atif said and Shehry made a face.

“Beghairat….. Nacho tum log or pay karoon mein?” he stood up, picking up our car keys.

“Today Sain will pay for all of us, after all treat to banti hai yar” Waqas put his arm around my neck and I smiled.

“Jinta tu bara hea sab se utna he sust, kanjoos or kahil wajood hea, qasam se” I said, shaking my head and they all laughed.

“That is why, Waqas is always so reluctant in getting married” Atif added and earned a kick from Waqas.

“Shadi ka susti se kia relation?” Shehry asked making a very innocent face and for a split of a second we three looked at his face with a “duh” expression and then suddenly we burst in to loud laughs, while Shehry kept the same face.

My flight was booked, it was due in 10 days, I had to do all the preparations and all the arrangements. Thanks to Anuragh he did all my formalities going to Bombay himself… everything was going too fast, a part of me was nervous, a part of me was sad on leaving Shehry, Atif and Waqas here… and there was a part of me who was all so excited to start this new journey towards the stars I always to touch.

We were coming out of our apartment when my eyes suddenly went on the huge Dhoombros board hanging on out living hall’s main wall. Indeed it was looking perfect over there, as if it was made of this wall…. I went closer to the board, each and every picture it had was beyond awesome. All our memories were placed and secured on one platform…. It was definitely too cool. I was looking at the pics when at once my eyes went to one of my iDeewane pic, wearing that blue shirt and black tie….. it had a stikcing note under that;

“You are the sun that shines bright throughout my day,

You are the gravity that hold me down in every way.

You are the moon that shimmers throughout my night,

You are stars that glimmer oh so bright.

You are the oxygen that keeps me alive,

You are my heart that beats inside.

You are the blood that flows through me,

You are the only guy I can see.

You have the voice of when a mocking bird sings,

You are my everything.”

I read those line…. My heart pounded in my chest. Did she really wrote that for me? did I really behaved badly with her?

“It is the love of fans that makes an ordinary particle a shinning star, it is the love of fans that gives you stardom…… Love your fans, coz we love you a lot” I couldn’t realize when Shehry came and stood near me, his eyes were on the board but he could read my expressions I so know him…. So does he. He read the lines written on the board didn’t look at me…… “bat to patey ki ker gai hea bachi wese” Shehry looked impress on the words, so was I. but I just don’t want to confess.

“You are guilty… I know Sain! but that’s okay! At some point of our lives we all become perverts and behave like jerks. So it was normal. Chilax bro!” he ruffled my hair and said with a warm elder bro kind of smile. I smiled back. Oh! Am so gonna miss him mann!!!!

I bent down and hugged him all at once, making him jumped in surprise….

"oh teri! araam nal khotiyaaa!"  He hugged me back. I just didn’t want to let him go, I dunno why I was being such a kid that moment but who cares…… just in a couple of seconds we heard foot steps, Waqas and Atif were there…

“Akele akele??... that’s not fair man!” they said and ran towards us. We all did a group hug, am so gonna miss these moments and then there were thousands of more such kind of moments that we had in our lives. Now I guess the sad part of me was empowering me all at once…….

hope you loved the chapter guys <3 love you all

stay happy and stay blessed always :)