Insecurities isn't just a word but another word for fear

(_thehijabiwrites)

Insecurities. A 12 letter word. Does it sound that easy as how easy its to count how many letters form that word? I would say no. Because, fear isn't something to be considered easy. When your heart is fearing something then there's nothing in the world which could calm it down, apart from love. Fill your heart with love, with too much love that it would even forget about the word insecurities.

Our Nest

It was a new morning. A new morning which could bring happiness to someone's lives. A new morning which could bring hope to some people. A new morning which might give relief to someone's regretful heart.

Cabir-Navya's Room

Cabir was ransacking through his shelves for an important file that he would need for today.

Cabir: Kaha rakha tha mene!

He was busy in shuffling everything kept on the cupboard when his eyes fell on the Digital Calendar, where today's date was shown.

5th March, it was, which meant, 7th March is day after tomorrow. 7th March-the day he was born. 7th March- the day Manik was born.

His grip on the shelves tightened remembering his childhood.

Flashback..

"Let him know, I'll be coming soon." I heard Dad speaking over phone. He looked angry. Yet, I walked closer to him. "D-Dad" I stuttered while taking his name and his concentration moved towards me with his eyes looking scary. "Great! Just when I thought my morning won't go bad, you had to show up. Kya chahiye ab?" he barked and I looked up at him scared. Why does he hate me so much? "Ab bologe ya nahi?" he shouted and I stepped back. "I..Its my..birthday, Dad." I said. "So?" he asked and I gulped. "You didn't wish me." I spoke out in a meek voice. I wanted him to wish me first. He's my Hero, right? Yes, he will wish me. He doesn't hate me. He just is angry at Mamma.

"So you want me to wish you when I regret marrying your mother who sleeps around with other men?" said him but I was confused. What did he mean? "Dad. I didn't understand." I said and he walked closer to me making me to step back in fear. Will he hit me again?

"Listen to me carefully. Your mother was my mistake hence, your sister and you're nothing but a piece of sh** for me. So wishing on your birthdays will be reminiscing the mistake I've done by falling in love." he gripped my shoulders so tightly that I started to cry. "D-Dad. It..Its paining. Please..leave me." I cried out loudly and he pushed me on the ground. Daadi! Please save me!

"Aaahh!! You just remind me of your mother. Why didn't she take you along with your trash sister!" he shouted but I looked up angrily. Nobody says bad about my doll. "You don't speak about my sister, like that!" I yelled and then, I felt my face getting hit to the ground. Daadi, please save me. "How dare you? How dare you raise your voice at me, son of a b****?!" he pulled my hairs so harshly. I pushed him back and ran upstairs. Panting heavily, I opened the room and closed the door, bolting it. "Open the door, dimwit! How dare you push me? Aukath dikhaya aakhir. Open the door!" I palmed my mouth and rushed towards the corner of the room, to hide. No, you're not getting scared, Cabir. He's angry. Don't open the door. Daadi always asked you to stay away from him, right. So, don't open the door.

Peeking through my eyelashes, I heard the door getting kicked and then some footsteps which moved down. I sighed. He's gone.

"Beep" I rushed towards the mobile kept in my room and took it, knowing its from her. "Bhaaayuuu." I thumped on the floor while palming my mouth not to cry so that she doesn't get scared. "Doll!" I whispered while wiping my face and I hissed. He's so bad. My face hurts too badly. "Appy birdie (Happy birthday), Bhaaaayuu." I chuckled forgetting my pain, hearing her. "Thank you, my doll. How is my little one doing?" I asked taking deep breaths. My cheek hurts when I speak. "Mish you." she replied and I cried. "I miss you, too." I said and got to hear her crying making me to stop myself from complaining out loud that why are we not together! "Bhai ki doll shouldn't cry. If you cry then Bhai will also cry. Bhai ko rothe hue dekhna hai kya aapko?" I asked and got to hear her hiccuping. "N-No. I ont(won't) cry." she said making me to smile.

"That's like Bhai's good girl. How is Mamma, doll?" I asked. Is she missing me or hate me just like Dad does. "Mamma gandha, Bhaaayu. Mamma gandhaa." suddenly she shouted and cried making me to panic. "Doll. Doll. Kya hua? Bolo na baath kya hai. Wo Mamma hai. Don't say like that." I spoke cooing her. "Se..Se bit me (She beat me)." said doll which halted my rants. "She beats you?" I asked stuttering, not wanting to believe. Mamma is bad too? "Bhaayuu, ujhe nai reina(mujhe nahi rehna). Ill you tai me widh you (Will you take me with you)?" she hiccuped and I looked down to see my fist curling up. My doll is crying. She is not safe there. "Nandu beta, phone dhe mujhe." I heard Naanu speaking. "Naanu! She's beating my doll. Aap waha nahi the kya? She's hurting my doll. My doll is crying there." I yelled while crying. I never let anyone touch her and she's getting beaten up there.

"Cabu, shant hoja. Mein yahan nahi tha uss waqt. Now, I'm here with her. I won't leave her alone again. I didn't know Nalini started to raise her hand, beta. Mujhe nahi patha tha." he said sounding hurt but I was too blind to know it. I was crying. My doll is crying and I'm not there to stop our own Mamma from beating her. How could she do to my doll. She's just three years old. "I don't know. Aap kuch karo na Naanu, mujhe mere Doll ke paas aana hain." I cried on phone. "Beta wo kaise, you know you're supposed to stay with your father as per court's rule and Nandu has to stay with her mother." he said and before I could reply, I heard Daadi's voice coming from outside. I sprung up and opened the door before hugging her tight. "Arey rotlu tu yaha kya kar raha hain, huh? Patha hai mein kithna darr gayi tujhe neecha na dekh ke." said Daadi while trying to break our hug. "Daadi..please..please tell Naanu..to get me my doll." I passed the phone to him and cried while snuggling to her warmth. Nobody loves us but only Naanu and Daadi.

"Bhai, kya bol rahe hai Cabu. Kuch hua hai kya?" I heard Daadi but I was still crying. How will I get my doll from there? Suddenly, I realized that there's nobody in this world with anyone, forever. Everyone is busy in his or her own life, so we don't have anybody with us to protect us but ourselves. I broke the hug and got to see Daadi talking on phone with Naanu, but the moment, she saw me she gasped and touched my cheek. She hung up on the call and knelt down. "Cabu, ye kya..Shrikesh ne..?" she asked and I nodded making her to pull me in her embrace. "Mera bacha. I'm sorry. Kyu mandhir gayi mein?! Kyu gayi! I'm sorry, beta." I broke the hug and wiped her tears. "Aap kyu ro rahe hai Daadi? Mujhe kuch nahi hua. Don't cry." She cried harder and I wiped them again. "Ek wadha karoge aap?" I asked and she nodded in positive. "Jis dhin mein bada hojaunga, uss dhin na aap aur na Naanu mere aur meri doll ki beech nahi aayenge. Kisi rule ke baath karke, mujhse meri doll ko dhoor nahi karoge. Promise me? I'll have all the money in this world to give the best to my doll." I said and she simply held my palm in hers. "I promise." she cried before hugging me. I'll get you out of there, Doll. They don't deserve us. We'll live together without anyone hurting us. Its your Bhaayuu's promise!

Flashback ends..

Cabir: You still come to my mind when I get near to my birth date, after all, Doll and I were a mistake for you..Dad!

He rubbed that drop of tear which escaped through his eye and walked out of the room with the file he needed.

Downstairs

Cabir was about to walk out of the Mansion when he heard his daughter. He turned around to see Alishka standing in front of him with a plate of something in her hand. He knelt down on the floor.

Cabir: Arey wah! Lagtha hai, aapko kuch chahiye!

He spoke to his daughter, who opened the lid over the plate. Cabir looked at it and smiled faintly. It was Strawberry cupcake. Something he used to love the most in past.

Alishka: Happy birthday in advance, Dad!

And she made him eat a bite of the cupcake she made with Nandini's help. Cabir's eyes welled up for seeing his little daughter being so understanding. In the past 10 years, he didn't celebrate his birthday, in fact, he never bothered to celebrate any occasions. After the kids were born, their birthdays were celebrated for their happiness. Once Alishka turned 4, she asked him why doesn't he celebrate his birthday. Being Daddy's girl, she wanted him to cut a birthday cake but without Manik, there was no birthday for him. Hadn't it been for their girls, Manik and Cabir would have never celebrated their birthdays.

Cabir: Thank you, little Sherni!

She giggled and kissed his cheeks while he kissed her palm.

Cabir: You're getting improved in your culinary skills. Pichle saal se bhi zyada tasty hain.

Alishka: Thank you, Daddy Dhawan.

Cabir: Ab Dad jaun?

Alishka: Yup. But you're coming home before 8. You know I wanna eat with you for the next three days.

Cabir smiled and nodded before walking out while Nandini, who was watching them from a distance smiled. She doesn't wish on his birthdays as he hated someone doing it apart from kids. On the first birthday after coming to Paris, he asked Nandini not to wish him again when she made a cake for him. He ate a bite for her sake and said he wouldn't wish to be reminded of his birthday anymore. Hence, it was just the kids who wish him on his birthday.

Nandini: I wish we never came to Paris!

"We can only wish, Nandu." Navya said, who was standing at the kitchen's door. Nandini didn't turn to face but smiled faintly.

Nandini: True. But there's no harm in wishing something good..even though, we know that what is done can't be undone.

She looked at Navya, who hid her tears and walked away.

Nandini (sighed): Iss baar dhono saath mein hain. Oh God! Kya hoga iss baar?!

She felt her chest getting tightened thinking about Manik and Cabir's birthday? Are they gonna wish each other before anyone could wish one, like olden days?Or are they gonna neglect the fact that this time, they can celebrate their birthday?

"Mamma" Prathik walked to her and before she could mask her face with a smile, he started to drag her along.

Nandini: Arey, kaha leke jaa rahe ho? Prathi..Prathi..?

But he paid deaf ears and dragged her to their room

Boys' Room

Nandini: What's wrong, Prathi?

She went silent when she saw Manik in the room sitting on a couch which was kept opposite to the bed, where Manvik and Karthik were already sitting.

Manik looked up on seeing her and he had a bright smile on his face which was reflected on her face too but the moment, the pictures came in their mind, the smile just vanished.

Prathik: Come on. Have a seat now.

He made Nandini to sit beside Manik, surprising the couple, yet they preferred to play "ignore" game. Prathik moved to sit beside his brothers.

Manik: Um..are we done with the challenge?

Manvik: I thought you knew one day is over.

Manik: I knew. But aapka kya bharosa!

Karthik: Well, trust matters a lot to us. So, you can have "bharosa" on us.

He quoted the word in air and Nandini smiled while Manik sighed. Too much of Manik Malhotra's traits in his sons.

Nandini: Oh-kay. So, what should we do now? You promised us to be forgiven once we win in this challenge and I think, we did win. I didn't meet him neither he met me till now.

Prathik: Overconfident, are we?

Manik: No! Honest, we're!

They smirked before pulling an envelop from their cupboard and passed it to their parents. Manik took it, frowning.

Nandini: What's this?

Manvik: Mamma! He's opening it.

Nandini turned to see Manik tearing the envelope like an impatient soul. She palmed her face and then smacked his arm.

Nandini: Thoda dheere se. Patience rakho na. What if it gets torn?

Manik: Mujhmein nahi hai wo. And it won't get torn because, Manik Malhotra does perfect!

She rolled her eyes at his self-obsession while the boys stared at him amused.

Manik: Hai kya ismein? Ab kaunsi nayi challenge hai yar?!

He took a paper from the envelope and the duo peeped in it to see just a sentence.

"I love you" they read and then looked at each other before looking up at the boys who looked too nervous. One was rubbing his nape, one was looking here and there while the last one was busy in chewing his lips.

Karthik: We're not so..expressive!

It didn't take another second for Manik and Nandini to hug them tight which resulted a huge smile to get spread on their lips. The awkwardness they were going through was replaced by happiness.

Manik/Nandini: We love you too!

They chuckled hearing their parents and nodded in positive at them, who had happy tears in their eyes. Finally, everything was getting right or..they thought so!

Nandini's Room

Nandini was getting ready for office but she had a very beautiful smile on her lips. The smile didn't have any end that she feared she might lose it soon. The moment she kept her hand over a pendant, she felt something around her neck. She looked up in the mirror to see Manik behind her.

Manik: You didn't even know I was in your room for the past five minutes.

Nandini widened her eyes at him then she chuckled.

Nandini: I was just..too happy.

Manik: I know!

He held her waist and hugged her from behind.

Nandini: Waise, ye kisliye?

She pointed at the pendant which had his name engraved on it that she started to smile at it.

Manik: Ye kabhi utharna math.

Nandini: Achanak kyu?

Manik: Thaaki. Ring is too small to get noticed.

He planted a kiss on her neck and she giggled hearing him.

Nandini: So you mean, I need to wear it all my life?

Manik: Nope!

He turned her to face him while still being in his hold.

Manik: Not all your life. Just until..

He moved closer to her ears and she held the thread around his neck.

Manik: I make you wear the nuptial chain.

She looked back in his eyes who stared at her with a smile. But she didn't have that smile on her lips.

Nandini: Nuptial chain?

He nodded but she looked away while getting out of his hold. Holding her hand, he pulled her back in his embrace.

Nandini: Manik.

Manik: Iss baar kuch nahi hoga, love. I won't let you go unlike last time. We're still having the rings with us, now we just need to complete the ritual to become husband and wife. I promise, this time there won't be any hurdle between us.

He caged her in his arms and she tightened her hold on him.

Nandini: Manik! Promise me something and you would keep it too.

Manik: Anything!

Nandini: You're letting me choose what I want. You won't take a decision, this time. Promise?

She looked up at him and he buzzed her forehead.

Manik: I promise!

She smiled at him but suddenly, she remembered something.

Nandini: Wait!! Mujhe kuch poochna tha.

She started to wriggle in his arms.

Manik: Hey wait wait! Jo poochna hai aise hi poocho. Hold on, mujhe bhi kuch poochna tha.

Nandini: Oh really!

Manik: Yes.

Nandini: Pehle mein.

Manik: Nahi. Pehle mein.

Nandini: No.

Manik: No.

Manik/Nandini: Fine.

Manik/Nandini: Why the hell would you take a picture with that pukey-pukey?/Why the hell would you take a picture with that shorty?

They spoke together and looked at each other.

Manik/Nandini: Wait what?

Nandini: Manik, stop copying me.

Manik: What did you ask? Pukey-pukey? Wo tho uss Soha thi na? Wo hamare beech kab se aana shuru kardiya.

Nandini: Jabse tumne uske saath pictures lena shuru kiya.

Manik (shocked): What? Picture? Aur wo bhi uss chipku ladki ke sath? Tum pagal hogaye ho.

Nandini: I knew it. I knew that you'll deny. Jab mein sath mein hothi tho gussa kartha tha par ab, ab tho smile karke picture lena shuru kar diya.

Manik: What non-sense are you speaking? Yaha mujhe gussa hona hai aur tum gussa kar rahi ho? And who asked you to take a picture with that shorty?

Nandini (frowned): What? Shorty? Kaun shorty? You mean..Victor?

Manik: Victor or Hacker. I don't care. You said he's your friend but which friend gets this close to his friend for a picture!

Nandini: What the heck are you speaking? I don't hold my guy friends when I take pictures, neither I let them do it. Don't you know it.

Manik: I know it. Par ismein aise nahi dikha.

And he took his mobile out of his pocket to show the picture to her.

Nandini: What even!

She stared at the picture in horror.

Nandini: Mene aise picture kabhi nahi liya.

Manik (sarcastically): Tho phir ye aapka soul hogi, kyu?

Nandini: Mere body ke bina soul ko picture lene na mumkin hain as I'm not any ghost. Mei keh rahi hun na, I'd never taken such a pic with an..

Suddenly, her eyes fell on the mail address.

Nandini: Ye tho...

She walked towards her laptop and opened it to see the picture she got.

Manik: What the f***!!

He swore loud on seeing a picture of his with Soha.

Manik: When did this even happen?!!

He yelled but Nandini was busy in looking at the mail address.

Nandini: Hum dhono ko ek hi mail address se pictures aaye hain.

Manik: Nandu. I swear. I never stand to take pictures with this pukey-pukey. I tho insult her whenever she tries to stick with me. Tere jaane ke b..

She kept her finger on his lips to get his mouth shut.

Nandini: Relax. I trust you but this picture did make me crazy. Isiliye, I was mad at you but now, it doesn't look good to me.

She turned to the pictures and found it quiet weird. The mail addresses were same too. Who will send them such pictures as if that person needs to create a rift or misunderstanding between them?!

Manik: The mail addresses are same?!

His attention too got on the mail addresses. Suddenly, Nandini let out a sigh.

Nandini: My little Devils!

Manik: Huh?!

Nandini: Ye pictures edited hain.

Manik looked at her horrified, who nodded at him in positive while smiling at the picutres knowing how good her sons are at plotting.

Manik: What? Mathlab, someone wanted us to fight? Who the hell is it?

Nandini: Not is. Make it who the hell are they!

Manik stared at her before widening his eyes.

Manik: Don't tell me its done by our sons!

Nandini: Unfortunately, yeah!

Manik sighed and plopped on the couch with Nadnini beside him.

Nandini: You know, they got some of our traits mixed up. Like, Prathi is good at brainstorming. Manu is good at executing while Karti is good at getting the best outcome of their plans. Tho hui na, barabar!

Manik kept his head on her shoulder.

Manik: And he behaved like he knew nothing about the photograph when I showed it to him.

Nandini: huh?

Manik: Mene ye pic dikhaya Karthik ko when he asked me why I was angry. And do you know what kind of expression he gave me? Horrifying. Like, he was too horrified and angry at that shorty for taking a picture with you. Aur mene yakeen bhi kiya. Popat hogaya!

Nandini giggled hearing him.

Nandini: They love to be dramatic.

Manik (smiled): Something Cabir likes!

She smiled faintly while holding his hands who took her for a side hug.

Manik: Did he miss me all these years?

Nandini: He never celebrated his birthday for all these years. He doesn't like cracking jokes if not for seeing a smile on the kids' faces. He is no more the most romantic guy in the group. He doesn't like to be the bhukkad until its to see yourself in our sons, so that they'll fight with him for food just like how you do. He'd stopped smiling long back. Does he miss you, Manik?

She didn't look at him but she knew what he must have been going through.

Manik: He does!

And they preferred silence over anymore talks. Sometimes, silence gives answers to every question that pops up in mind.

Cabir-Navya's Room

Alishka/Naila: Whattt? Really?

The boys palmed their ears yet nodded at them and it didn't take another second for Alishka to jump on them for a hug.

Alishka: Eeeehh! I'm so happy, Bhai.

They chuckled hearing her. They were here to plan surprise for Cabir on his birthday and the boys decided to share their happiness with these little angels. All they said is, their family is no more incomplete and Alishka and Naila weren't too innocent to find the hidden meaning behind that sentence.

Alishka: This is the happiest birthday 'Our nest' is gonna have, then.

She broke the hug and beamed in joy making them smile. They turned to Naila.

Manvik: Now, don't tell me you're not happy.

Naila: Who said that? I wanted my Maamu and beautiful to be together since forever.

Karthik: Then, where's our hug?

Naila (hesitatingly): I can hug you?

They shook their head before pulling her to a hug while Prathik just stared at them smilingly.

Manvik: You're just like Ashu for us.

She grinned with only happiness in her eyes. Alishka and Prathik grinned while hugging each other.

Prathik: Now, don't be so emotional. I'm not that type.

The trio rolled their eyes at him.

Alishka: Okay people. Let's get back to our work, then. So we're decorating Dad's towel, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, nail cutter and trimmer too.

Alishka spoke excitedly and the boys looked at her with their jaws dropped down.

Naila: Wow! That's so cool.

Prathik: That's..what?

He asked her out of shock and she grinned at him.

Naila: Cool. She's giving him a bathroom surprise on his birthday. I remember I'd given a Kitchen surprise to Daddy on his birthday as he loves to cook. I'd designed all the kitchen utensils with Superman's pictures as Daddy loves him.

She jumped in joy on remembering it and Alishka gushed over it while the boys could only look at each other.

Karthik: What's wrong with these girls?!

Manvik: Girls, you see.

Prathik: Yeah. Most weirdest specie in the world!

Alishka: Bhai!

She jumped towards the three boys making them smile.

Boys: Fine. We'll do it for you.

Alishka: Yippeee!

She hugged them and they kissed her heads while Naila looked on, with a smile. Karthik looked at her and pulled her in the hug again taking her in surprise.

Manvik: You're family, little devil. So, join all our group hugs, get it?

Naila nodded in positive, smilingly. It was so new for the boys to be this open with someone, yet they couldn't deny that Naila was just like Alishka for them. Well, except for Prathik!

Prathik: Okay, let's get to work, then!

And they decided to decorate Cabir's washroom accessories. While walking through the room, Karthik's gaze fell on a Diary. He took it and remembered how Cabir never let anyone touch it as it was his personal Diary.

Karthik was about to keep it back on the drawer when a picture fell out of the diary making him to look at it. He took it in his hand only to widen his eyes.

He remember his Mamu and father not giving eye contacts to each other whenever they cross each other's path. He remember his conversation with his father regarding his breakup with Nandini. Joining the dots, he could come up with one thing.

Its not just something between Manik and Nandini but between Manik and Cabir too.

And he decided.

Karthik: Sorry, Mamu!

He held the diary in his hand and then looked at his brothers, who were staring at the diary and then at him questioningly.

Karthik: We have some work, Malhotras!

They nodded back at him and there was no turning back now. What now?

To be continued..