Guilt isn't any emotion but a reality check

(Affu)

Guilty! That word has got a very deep meaning. Being guilty of doing something wrong or sinful isn't so easy like how people think, at the same time, forgiving the person who is in guilt is also no easy. What needs to be understood is, its not just a random emotion or a feeling but a reality check to yourself to make you aware of right and wrong!

Our Nest

"Uhu Uhu.." someone's deliberate coughs brought Mukti out of her trance and she looked up to see a pair of concerned eyes.

Person: Um..You okay?

Mukti was a little startled on recognizing the concern in that voice.

Mukti: I'm..fine, um..Prathik.

Prathik did nothing but settled beside Mukti without any hesitation and stared in her eyes.

Prathik: Then, why are you eyes so gloomy?

Mukti: Huh?

Prathik: Arey, your eyes, they don't shine anymore. You know, Mamma always says that whenever we're sad, its our eyes who speak instead of our tongue and now, your eyes look so sad which means, you're sad. If you wanna share, you can. I don't mind hearing any sort of sad stories.

And hearing him, Mukti felt like she was seeing Nandini in him along with her brother. Nandini, was always such a soul who tries to bring smile on everyone's faces even if the person has got nothing to do with her while the carefree smile that Prathik has on his face reminds her of Manik, who took every issue lightly when it comes to bringing a smile on his siblings' faces.

Mukti: Er..nothing. Actually, I'm a bit..emotional.

She, herself was surprised on replying to Prathik's questions.

Prathik: Oh! That's not at all a bad thing, you know. We're humans, after all, not some zombies that we can't even know who we are.

Mukti giggled a little on hearing it and the face that Prathik made.

Prathik (smiled): That suits you!

Mukti: What?

Prathik: That smile, it suits you well. Why are you going behind sorrows to hide that beautiful smile on your face?

Mukti's gaze on him softened.

Mukti: I..don't know. Its just..my happiness never stayed for a longer period of time.

She sighed sadly at it.

Prathik (raised his eyebrows): So..does it mean even your family can't be your happiness?

Mukti snapped her head at him in surprise.

Prathik: What? Don't give that look. You, yourself said that your happiness doesn't stay for long but as far as I can see, you're happy with your family. What would you call them if not happiness?

Mukti sat speechless.

Prathik: No answer?

Mukti nodded in No, reluctantly making Prathik to smile.

Prathik: Happiness won't be present everywhere. Sometimes, you need to take your sorrows as your happiness too.

He remembered his sleepless nights where he used to crave for a soft fatherly touch but he never got it while Mukti stared at him in awe. He, indeed was a blessing to Nandini. In fact, she found her sons as the only happiness in Nandini's life, for now.

Prathik: Take care!

He muttered and stood up to leave and Mukti so wanted to stop him because, somehow, he managed to get into Mukti's heart even without her knowledge.

Prathik: Oh yeah, I forgot something.

He turned behind and he found Mukti grinning at him.

Prathik: This is for you!

He gave her a red rose making her surprised, though she took it happily.

Mukti: Why?

Prathik (smiled): Um..its something taught by Mamma. Just look at it whenever you feel like you're at the peak of your emotions.

Mukti nodded smilingly at him, who smiled back at him and walked away.

Mukti (whispered): I thought they looked a lot like Bhai but..they behave a lot like Nandini too. Why do I feel like like my doubts were true?!!

She sat lost in thoughts while caressing the flower she had in her hand.

Next Day

Anjali: Have a sexy morning, people!!

She greeted in her own style while walking down the stairs in her night suit and people around her gawked at her while Manik palmed his face and started to chuckle.

Manik: You still look young, Mrs.beautiful!

Anjali smirked and gave a flying kiss to him.

Anjali: I know that my hottie guddu!!

Manik laughed at her reply.

"Hey beautiful." Manik snapped his head at that voice only to see Karthik rushing towards Anjali and kissed her cheeks.

Anjali: Hey handsome! Waise, looking a little more hot!

She winked at him who gave her a smirk.

Karthik: I was born hot, beautiful DJ!

Anjali: Well, I know the reason too.

And she walked away making him as well as Manik to get lost in deep thoughts.

Manvik: Sexy morning, Mrs. beautiful!

Abhimanyu (thought): I seriously need to be fast. I mean, you can't expect a kid to be exactly similar like my best friend who's apparently single.

He made a confused face that he didn't even notice when Prathik settled beside him and Manvik on his other side, of the dining table.

Anjali: Bhai, jaldhi jaldhi khao, mujhe aapke saath bahar ghumna hain aur haan, sab saath chalthe hain.

She spoke excitedly while grinning at Malhotras and Raj was about to say 'No' when she interrupted..

Anjali: No arguments, golu!

Raj made a bad face at it making Nyonika to chuckle. Seeing him childish can happen only when Anjali is with them.

Mukti: Abhi, pass me the coffee jug!

And Abhimanyu served something in Mukti's jug making Manvik to pass a weird look to him.

Manvik: Dude, she asked you for coffee not water.

Abhimanyu, who was still lost in thoughts got back to the world and he stared in Mukti's cup which he filled with water making Mukti to look at him weirdly.

Mukti: What's wrong with you?

And Abhimanyu just grinned at her.

Abhimanyu: Erm...looks like..coffee has become colorless.

Mukti: Wh..what?

Manvik: Don't know about coffee but you really has lost your color, totally pale out of fear from your wife.

Abhimanyu (glared): Oh hello tu..

Manvik (sternly): Yeah..I'm listening, complete it..

Abhimanyu gulped the next words and concentrated in his food.

Abhimanyu (thought): Ab mein zaroor pagal hojaoonga, he's started to dominate me like how Manik does.

And he threw a glare at Manik, who was also giving him a frown like Mukti did.

Navya: Abhi, what's with this clumsiness?

Abhimanyu: Ab tu kya jaane, ye tho mera naseeb mein hain!

Karthik (horrified): You're gay? What about your wife and daughter then?

Abhimanyu choked on his drink and Nandini glared at Karthik while Manik stared at him with his wide opened mouth.

Manvik: Whaaatt? He's gay?

Karthik: Arey, he just spoke about some naseeb, he even said 'mera naseeb' which means 'my naseeb' and don't you know naseeb is our watchman's name.

Prathik: Oh freak!!! Don't tell me you fell in love with our giant oldie watchman!!

Abhimanyu: Shut up! Shut up!

Karthik (narrowed his eyebrows): Did you just raise your voice at my brother?

Abhimanyu gulped seeing his intimidating gaze and nodded in No and then stared at Nandini with a puppy face.

Nandini (sighed): Boys, naseeb means destiny, its not just a name for a man.

Boys: Oh!

All this while, Mukti preferred to giggle at Abhimanyu's expense.

Manvik: You could have told it long back, we really felt bad for your wife thinking that you're a gay!

And that was it for Mukti, she was laughing loudly along with Navya, and Nandini too chuckled silently. But amidst these chaos, there was someone who was smiling at the three girls faintly.

A guilt mixed smile!

Anjali: Acha guddu!

She pushed a bowl near to Manik's plate.

Anjali: Yeh le, tera favorite Butter chicken, Nandu ne banayi hain.

And she poured the butter chicken in Manik's plate while Nandini an d Navya widened their eyes.

Anjali: Acha mere chote guddu, tera bhi favorite hai na, le!

And he poured it in Manvik's plate who was sitting near to Manik. But, all they did were gaping at each other.

Butter chicken was a common favorite, then!

Navya (thought): Wow! Mathlab, Daadi tho openly plan execute kar rahi hai!

Navya's eyes twinkled in joy while Nandini palmed her face on seeing her kids' scrutinizing gazes at Anjali.

Anjali: Ab ghoor kya rahe ho, khao tho sahi. Ye tum dhono ke favorites jo hain.

Manik started to eat silently and then fixed his gaze on Nandini who was also staring at him but her gaze was quiet nervous.

Manik (thought): Why am I thinking the same thing on an on? I'm so gonna go crazy.

Anjali: Chalo, get ready everyone. We're leaving to take a tour of Paris AGAIN for me and for you people..?

She looked at Malhotras and Thakkars with her eyebrows raised and they nodded in negative.

Anjali (excitedly): Perfect! So, I'm going to be your guide!

And she ran upstairs to get ready.

Alishka: That's so not fair, nobody knows Paris better than me.

She too ran upstairs and Abhimanyu looked at Navya.

Abhimanyu: Tujhpe gayi hain, totally a drama queen.

Navya glared at him who shrugged it off.

Navya: Chalo people, get ready. Daadi is so damn punctual.

The rest nodded at her and rushed to get ready.

Boys' Room

Nandini: Karthik Malhotra, you're gonna fix it for today.

She shouted while glaring at Karthik who was fixing his hair. If at all Karthik Malhotra is obsessed with something, then its his hair while for his brothers, oh well, its another story.

Karthik: Mamma. One minute!

And he mimicked his father except for taking her name, making her to smile faintly at it.

Manvik: Finally!

He stepped out of the washroom after taking the third bath, obsessed with cleanliness whenever he goes somewhere-just like his mother in this case!

Prathik: Dude, this is your third bath in a single morning, don't you get tired of standing under that shower?

Manvik: Nope.

He walked to Nandini, who stood up to dry his hair while making him to sit on the bed.

Prathik: Why so?

Manvik: Because, I love to be fresh unlike you who smells like a rotten egg!

Prathik: Mamma!!

Nandini: Manu! He's your brother, you shouldn't call him that!

Manvik: But, I'm the eldest!

Prathik: Only for 2 minutes, dude!

Manvik: So what! I'm still the eldest!

Karthik: Excuse me? What am I for then? For playing crackers?

Manvik/Prathik: How do I know?

Karthik: Mamma!!

Nandini sighed and then glared at Manvik and Prathik making them point at each other.

Manvik/Prathik: Its all because of him!

Nandini: Yeah right and I believe it! Now sit straight, Manu.

She dried his hair well and walked towards Prathik.

Nandini: Wear the black one, Prati!

Prathik: Isn't Red the best, Mamma?

Nandini (muttered): Of course, apne Papa pe jo gaye theenon!

She made him wear the red blazer making Prathik to smirk at himself.

Prathik: And now I look the best!

Nandini (whistled): Looking handsome!

She spoke to all three of them and in return they gave her a 'Manik Malhotra' smirk.

Boys: We're born handsome, Mamma!

She shook her head at them and got out not before kissing their heads! Typical-pampering Mamma!

Nandini's Room

Nandini stood in front of the mirror to wear a necklace, when she hissed.

Nandini: Ouch..

She looked at the source to see the wound on her neck only to get lost in thoughts.

Flashback..

Nandini: Mom...where are you going?

I ran to my mother, Nalini, who was about to get out of the house.

Nalini: Get off you brat!

She pushed me away as I was about to hug her by knees, and I saw her dusting her dress thinking I might have spoiled her dress. and I looked down feeling hurt. Doesn't she love me a bit?

Nandini (flinched): Mom, you don't want me to hug you?

Nalini (pissed): What is it, Nandini?

Nandini (meekly): You said you'll take me out!

She frowned at me and then rolled her eyes on me.

Nalini: Just because I say Yes to all your demands in front of Dad, doesn't mean I'm gonna fulfill it.

Nandini: Mathlab..?

She bent and pulled my knees harshly making me to whimper in pain.

Nalini: Why don't you get matured enough to know your mother well, after all you've turned 8 years old. Now listen Naanu's pet, your Naanu would be on your side but that doesn't mean I'm going to listen to your shits. Just tell him that I took you out today, get it?

I nodded at her.

Nandini: You don't love me?

I saw her glaring at me and I looked down on not able to take her gaze.

Nalini: If I ever regret something then, its marrying your father so how can you expect me to love you and your whining brother who are of his blood!

She walked off while pushing me away and I hissed more and realized that its the flame of cigarette in her hand which burnt my skin and I didn't know when my eyes started to tear up.

Nandini: She doesn't love you, Nandu. Nobody loves you, Nandu. Na Daddy aur na Mom!

I looked up when I saw a car entering through our gate and I peeped out of the window to see Mom entering in it and saw a man kissing her lips.

A man but not out father!

I slid down and dropped myself on the floor to cry.

I miss you Bhai!!

"Beep" "Beep"

I rushed to my school bag where I hid the mobile given by Naanu and answered the call.

Nandini: Bhai!!

Cabir: Doll..doll..why are you crying, huh? Kya hua? Kisine kuch kiya..? Mom ne..?

And I cried more. Why can't I live with my Bhai?

Nandini: Bhai..Mom..Mom..she doesn't love me, Bhai!

Cabir: Baby, stop crying. Kya hua, ye tho bathao..

I wiped my tears away.

Nandini: She..she said..she said she will take me out but..usnhone aisa kuch nahi kiya, Bhai. Aur..unhone mujhe..mujhe..she pushed me away..aur Bhai..she just went out with some man. She doesn't..love me, Bhai. She doesn't love us. Nobody loves Nandu.

I wept more but I couldn't hear Bhai speaking instead I heard his deep breathes.

Nandini: Bhaii!! I'm hurt!

Cabir: Isn't my doll strong enough to face this world?

I stopped crying when I heard his voice which held anger in it.

Nandini: I am!

Cabir: Then face her! She's no one to us, Doll. She's just a name sake mother for us. Aur kisne kaha meri doll ko koi pyar nahi kartha? I love you, you're my doll and I wouldn't let anyone to hate my doll. Naanu bhi tho pyar karthe hai na meri doll ko, phir aise kaise soch sakthi ho doll?

This time his voice was soft and I bobbed my head.

Nandini: You won't hate me right? Like Daddy? Like Mom?

Cabir: There's no one in this world who could hate you, baby, whatever Mom is having for us isn't hatred. Its just, she's angry but she isn't anyone to us. Aur Dad..he's just upset..with his life. Will you cry again?

I rubbed my eyes and nodded in No, though he can't see me.

Nandini: Bhai ki doll rone keliye nahi hain.

Cabir: And that's like Nandini Dhawan! Listen to me doll, ye world jithni khoobsurath hai uthna hi bura bhi hain. Har koi humse pyar nahi karega, so, learn to trust only those who deserve it. Har kisi pe trust nahi karna, bas ye jaan lo, aapke paas aapka Bhai aur Naanu hamesha rahenge.

Nandini: Promise?

Cabir: Nandini Promise!

I smiled widely hearing him.

Nandini: I love you, Bhai!

Cabir: I love you too, doll. And remember, Bhai will take you out of that place when he's big enough to look after you without anyone else's help.

Nandini: I trust you, Bhai!

And we talked till I fell asleep. But, I learnt something on that day..

Nobody can love me like how Bhai does!

Sirf Bhai pyar karthe hai mujhse!

Flashback ends..

Nandini (in tears): Everybody cries when their mother dies but I couldn't, Mom, because..you never gave a reason though I wanted to mourn over your death.

She wiped her tears and applied eye-liner to get rid of her tears which might not stop so soon.

Downstairs

Alishka: Bhai, tie it up!

She spoke like a school teacher while looking at Karthik who was still staring at his shoe laces.

Karthik: Don't you know that I'm not good at tying them up?

Alishka: I do! But that doesn't mean you'll never learn it, neither you let anyone apart from Bua to tie them up.

Karthik: What's with you, today? So, much of grumpiness?

Alishka (pissed): Nothing.

And she walked away while Karthik sat there confused.

"Well, she's mad at Daadi for ignoring her pleads to become the guide for the tour". Karthik looked up to find Manik staring at him with something unknown in his eyes.

Karthik: Oh!

He's still not so good in conversing with strangers!

Stranger? That word seems so annoying to him!

Karthik: Hey! What are you doing?

He looked at Manik horrifically who was on his knees tying Karthik's shoe laces.

Manik: Shh. Relax, I'm just tying your shoe laces not steeling those to freak out!

Karthik: But, I don't let anyone to tie them up, dude!

Manik(unknowingly): Why? Don't I hold that right?

Manik looked up and Karthik could read a flash of hurt in his eyes making him to take his hands back which he was using to push Manik away. Taking it as a cue, Manik tied his (Karthik's) shoe laces.

Manik: Its done!

And he walked away while Karthik kept staring at Manik's retreating figure.

Karthik (muttered): Does he hold that right?

He was brought out of his trance by the ever excited Anjali's voice.

Anjali: Chalo people..let's move..wait...pariiiii...kaha ho tum?

Manvik: Jeez! DJ, stop spoiling my eardrums.

Anjali: Oh you do have such a stuff? I never knew!

Prathik: Why? Were you planning to lend yours to him?

Anjali: Oh please! I have better people to lend it.

Prathik: Oh you mean the chimpanzees whom you adore? Go ahead, however, they've much better ones.

Anjali (pissed): Guddu!

Manik/Boys: Yes?

And they looked at each other in frustration.

Nandini: What's wrong?

Nandini walked down the stairs only to see her sons glaring and Manik glaring at each other.

Anjali: Hayee! Bohath achi lag rahi ho, meri bachi! Aakhir meri chocie jo hain!

Nandini smiled at Anjali.

Boys: What the hell are you wearing?

Anjali: Its a dress! Now, move ahead.

And she dragged Nandini along knowing that her grand-grand sons wouldn't like to see their mother in such an outfit.

Manik (muttered): She still looks so beautiful!

And the boys who heard it just grew more pissed.

Karthik: Don't forget the advice, Mr. Mahotra.

They too walked out making Manik to roll his eyes.

Manik: I have seen her in much better way and here they're pissing me off for praising her.

Abhimanyu who heard it chuckled making Manik to glare at him.

Anjali: Guddu, we're going in your car.

Anjali settled in Manik's car after pushing the boys in the backseat and girls in the middle seat along with her.

Anjali: Pari, you're sitting there.

She pointed at the front seat and Nandini gave her a look before giving a nervous look to her boys who were more than pissed.

Anjali: Guddduuuu...Pariiiii...!!

MaNan: Coming!!

And they too got inside the car and it zoomed off to roads.

Navya: Tum tho bilkul apni Daadi pe nahi gaye ho.

Navya muttered which was loud enough for Cabir to hear it before occupying the passenger seat while he simply got inside the driving seat.

Navya: Wo tho kam se kam openly execute karthe hai apne plans!

He could hear the mockery filled in her words but he chose not to reply and drove away.

Eiffel Tower

Naila: Wow!!! This is so damn huge!

She spoke while staring out through the window of Eiffel Tower.

Alishka: Yup, because we're on the top floor.

Naila: I'm feeling out of the world!

Alishka: True!

Admiring at the kids, elders started to explore while Manik's gaze was fixed at Nandini who stood far away from the window as she was scared of heights.

Manik (thought): Why did she even come inside when she knew she can't handle heights.

Nandini: I'm fine, baba!

She spoke to her sons who took her inside the Champagne Bar which was also in the top floor.

Prathik: Yup, we could see it.

Nandini: Arey, I didn't even go near to the window.

Karthik: That doesn't mean you're okay with heights, Mamma. Now, sit somewhere.

They looked for seats but it was already full. There were seats left but with a man who was drinking and Nandini HATES alcohol to no extent that she can't even stand people who drink it.

Nandini (whispered): Manik!

She saw him asking the man to sit somewhere and occupied a seat for himself and pretended to read a magazine which she caught well.

Manvik (bad face): Well, guess like, that's the only vacant place.

The rest two nodded at him with the same expression on their faces. They still don't like the way he stares at their mother.

Prathik: Hope you don't mind, Mr. Malhotra!

Manik looked up with a fake frown and got to see Prathik pointing the seat near to him.

Manik: Oh! No, I don't mind!

Prathik grinned and settled beside him and made Nandini to settled between him and Karthik while Manvik settled on the other side of Manik.

Manik: How come you're here?

Nandini glared at Manik, who was faking innocence.

Manvik: Why? Is it banned for us to come here?

Manik glared at Manvik who still had a plain look on his face.

Nandini: Manu! Behave!

Hearing her tone, the boys sulked. They so loved irritating Manik.

Karthik: Mamma, he called for it. I mean, how come he can sit in this bar but not us?

Manik: Well, its because I thought you would love to explore Eiffel Tower.

Prathik: We've already taken 100s of tours of Eiffel Tower. Duh!

Manik (sternly): What's with you tone?

And he gave a look to Nandini just like how a father gives a stern look to his wife when the kid misbehaves.

Nandini: Its not my mistake if they don't like to mingle much and you keep asking them some or the other thing.

She replied annoyingly on seeing his accused gaze for letting the boys speak with attitude. Well, can it be her fault if her sons are more like their father?

Karthik: And why are you giving that look to our Mamma?

Manik grew more pissed at their possessiveness.

Manik: Before being your Mamma, she has her own self so she doesn't belong to you fully.

Nandini gaped at him in horror seeing his possessive side coming out in front of THEIR SONS!

Prathik: What the hell! How does it matter to you, anyhow?!

Manik glared at him again.

"Guddduuuuu..we're leaving!" Manik and the boys palmed their faces on seeing the amused faces around them after hearing Anjali's shout.

Manvik: This is the only thing I hate about her.

Manik: I know right! Like, do I look like a kid or what!

Karthik: Exactly!

Prathik: I so wish Earth to gobble me up.

Karthik: Come on, let's leave before she shouts one more time!

And they got up after dragging Nandini who looked at the father-sons in amusement on seeing them not fighting but agreeing to each other's point of view!

In the evening

Manik's Room

Alishka: Offo! Why can't you understand Mr. Big Closet, I can't leave empty hands.

She muttered to herself while ransacking through Manik's closet for SOMETHING.

Alishka: Oh God, the ground floor is empty.

She pouted while looking at the lower shelves in the closet. She took a chair and stood on it.

Alishka: Now, its time for top floor.

She started to search the upper shelves and by mistake, something fell off.

Alishak (hit her head): Why don't you do something like how a cat does instead of a doggy, Ashu?!

And she stepped down to take the thing that fell off.

Alishak: A picture!

She said while looking at the white sheet and then turned it the other side only to widen her eyes like saucers.

Alishka: Oh my God! Buaaa!! Maamu...!!

She palmed her mouth on seeing it but before she could react more, she heard the sound of twisting of the washroom's door knob making her run out of the room after closing the closet.

Alishka's Room

Alishka was seen pacing around the room while biting onto her nails.

Alishak: I have never seen Bua this close with any guy like how I saw her in the picture with Maamu! But..why would she be this close to him? Isn't it supposed to be with Bhai's father? Arey, why are they behaving all stranger-stranger when they were...ugh....how will I solve it!!

She stood in front of the mirror and smirked.

Alishka: Well, seems like I've got a plan!

CaVya's Bedroom

Cabir stood watching the stars in his balcony with his thoughts wandering over the breakfast incident.

Cabir (muttered): They laughed together after a long time! How much I've missed it!

He closed his eyes and a tear slipped off his eye.

Cabir: Hadn't I see it happening again in front of my eyes, I wouldn't have done anything like that, Manik. I chose to be a brother instead of a friend. I..I couldn't see anything else apart from her tears and I did..it.

He took the railing as a support and stared in the sky.

Cabir: I know..I shouldn't be forgiven but..I'm sorry, Manik. I'm sorry, doll! Now that you're here, I realized that..doll hasn't gotten her nightmares unlike the past 10 years of her life.

He cried harder and muttered.

Cabir: I don't deserve to be called 'Bhai', doll! I don't!

He stood there shedding tears without anyone beside him to wipe them away. Maybe, he has realized, where he was at fault!

Next Day

(The Malhotra boys running behind Alishka's puppy, and Manvik getting hit by the car, and Manik taking him to hospital)