Sometimes you have a lot to ask and so you become silent because you do not have the energy to speak.

"I like you and it is difficult for me to see you with someone else. Why you make me feel like you liked me too if you never did? Why did you make me feel so special like no one ever did? Why did you say you love me when you never meant it? Why did you say you will be there for me when you were here to leave?"

Sometimes you create a beautiful story in your head. And being an overthinker, I did the same..but how could I be wrong all this while? How could I feel whatever I felt if there was nothing? How could everyone around me feel whatever I felt? Was it all a lie? Was it all an imagination? Was it all really in my head?

Silence. Silence was all I got when asked these questions. And boom, I lost another person.
My fear again turned true. He will also leave me now.

"Hi"

Life can't get any better! Here comes his girlfriend.

"Hi!"

I smiled wide and side hugged her.

Here comes my brilliant acting skills. 

We three just sat there and those two were having some silly conversations I was least interested in. But, I had to sit there. Acting all nice.

Disadvantages of being a people pleaser, you see!
And anyways, the girl doesn't know anything. How could I show my real emotions in front of her.

"Chalo kuch khake ate hai" 

She said. Oh god! Mai aur natak nahi kar skti.

We ended up going to the canteen and she asked..

"Apne use to bata diya.. usse to bat krli. Pr ap gussa kyu the. Mujhe to batao!"

What should I tell you darling? How will I explain everything to you? That I love this guy and I hate that about me.
That I hate to see you with him because I thought that is going to be my place?

That I need some answers from someone but all I got is silence?

While I was Thinking all this, she pulled me out of my trance! "Apko kuch chahiye?" I just nodded my head in a No.

They bought some stuff and Alia started moving forward towards her friends.

"Tu chalegi movie dekhne mere sath?" He asked

How can someone behave so normally after whatever happened few minutes back.

Apni girlfriend ke sath jao na. Mere sath kyu?

Wish I could say that!

"Alia ke sath jao! Why me?" I said

"Are wo date pe jaa rhi hai ksii ke sath. Tu chal na mere sath date pe."

Is this some kind of joke? What the hell was happening.

I just laughed and went upstairs. I can't deal with this.

Please god. Give me the strength.

What was whatever I felt? Was it all false?
Was it all simply my overthinking brain? Was he ever at fault? Or it is mine.

I don't get it.

Lots of questions. No answers.

———-

Hi guys! How are you all? It is so good to be back again. Will try my best to be regular!!

Please show your love and support by commenting.. your comments make my day!!!

And how did you find the first part? What do you think happened?

And do you people find this relatable? If yes, comment below!

Stay tuned for the next part. Coming very soon.

Love,
Shreya