"I can. Rah sakti hu. Humesa rahi hu. Tum ni aaye kavi mujhe dekhne. Tumne kavi socha ni mere bare me.", I cried as I remembered how I begged for food to live my life.
"Baby. Listen. All this is not good for your health. Don't remember all that.", He again said but I know all this fake.
"Please. Please chup ho jao.",I broke down joining my hands in front of him. It doesn't matter how much I try to be strong but it's not possible for me to be strong in front of him. I always breaks.
I cried falling on my knees and he sat in front of me and hugged me. How much I try to run away from his dirty plan I always fall in his arms.

"Sshh. Kuch ni hua hai.. I'm here na. Why my baby is thinking all this? Bhul jao yeh sab..", his words again broke me and pushed him with force and shouted, "shut up. Please don't break me so much. Stop your dirty game. I beg you please. Kyu kar rhe ho mere saath. Please."

"Nanhi. Baby kya bol rhi ho? Kyu bol rhi ho? Kisi ne kuch kaha h? Bolo mujhse. Please" , I can see his tears falling but it only reminds me of my tears which was priceless for them.

"Kisi ne kuch ni kaha. It's you who did everything, who said everything.", I took his collar in my fist and shouted on his face shaking him, "It's you only who jisne mujhe dard diya. Agar mujhe itna dard dena h toh why you always love me first. Bachpan me yaa fir ab everytime you played with me. Bolo na am I wrong? Say na?"

He didn't replied me just stood keeping his head down which confirm that whatever I was thinking was right. He played his game again. This time bigger game.

"Kya hua? Plan fail ho gya? Tumne kya socha ki tum mujhe baar baar pehle pyar kroge fir dhoka doge toh main kuch ni bolungi? Socha ki this target is dumb so let's play with her. Pehle iss mentally pagal kar do that she starts thinking her fake world real then physically rag kar kro then un sab se ni kuch hua toh sexually pyar ka natak karo. Just to have my body.", I asked but it came as whisper as my throat dried with pain which I'm not able to take inside me anymore.

He looked me and in a second pinned me to the wall shouting, "Chup. Ek dum chup. Ek baar aur bola na ki mera pyar jhut h yaa I loved you for your body to ek tapad laguga. Samjh ni aata tumhe that I love you. I know bht dard hai par tumhe meri zarurat hsi. Kyu ni samjhti tum?", He cried taking me in his embrace again which calmed me. I know I need him. I always needed him but he was not there. Never ever. He left me always and he's gonna leave me again.
Ignoring my need I pushed him and shouted, "Haa so maaro. Maaro na everytime you saw me jab dusre marte the whether it's holi or school or college iss baar khud mar lo. Khushi mikegi tumhe. Agar tum ni maroge toh khud mar jaungi.", Luckily there was a knife in the fruit basket. I picked it and was about to cut my veins when he threw it and slapped me.
I cried and fell on floor crumbling into a ball.
He slapped me.
He don't love me.
He slapped me.
No one loves me.
No one is here for me.
No one..
I felt myself​drowning in darkness but without his embrace this darkness is suffocating me. Finally I felt his warmth and everything turned black.

MANIK POV

"I can. Rah sakti hu. Humesa rahi hu. Tum ni aaye kavi mujhe dekhne. Tumne kavi socha ni mere bare me.",she came out of room and cried.
"Baby. Listen. All this is not good for your health. Don't remember all that.", I tried to make her understand that I'm her for her always but it seems is don't want to understand.
"Please. Please chup ho jao.", She broke down joining her hands in front of me.  I know she needs me more than anything. Why is she behaving like this she herself will share with me, all she need is time and I'm ready to give it to her.Crying she fell on her knees and  sitting in front of her I took her in my embrace which she needs.
My small child is so worked up that she needs my love nothing else.
"Sshh. Kuch ni hua hai.. I'm here na. Why my baby is thinking all this? Bhul jao yeh sab..",  I said kneading her hairs dropping kisses on her forehead which is now burning. I was about to carry her when she pushed me and cring shouted, "shut up. Please don't break me so much. Stop your dirty game. I beg you please. Kyu kar rhe ho mere saath. Please."

"Nanhi. Baby kya bol rhi ho? Kyu bol rhi ho? Kisi ne kuch kaha h? Bolo mujhse. Please" ,my tears made its way as I can't see her like this anymore. She is my life and I can't afford to see her breaking like this anymore.

"Kisi ne kuch ni kaha. It's you who did everything, who said everything.", She took my collar in her fist and shouted on my face shaking him, "It's you only who jisne mujhe dard diya. Agar mujhe itna dard dena h toh why you always love me first. Bachpan me yaa fir ab everytime you played with me. Bolo na am I wrong? Say na?"

Her words.
It only reminds me of my deeds. I was the one who is responsible for her pain. For her this condition. If​ ever i had taken care of my child then she would have faced so much problems. It's me only who is responsible. I can't see her like this but I don't have any word left to speak. It only breaks me whenever I think about my baby's condition.
I kept my head low as she is right. Everytime I make her feel loved and every time I only push her in darkness.

"Kya hua? Plan fail ho gya? Tumne kya socha ki tum mujhe baar baar pehle pyar kroge fir dhoka doge toh main kuch ni bolungi? Socha ki this target is dumb so let's play with her. Pehle iss mentally pagal kar do that she starts thinking her fake world real then physically rag kar kro then un sab se ni kuch hua toh sexually pyar ka natak karo. Just to have my body.", I was listening her but when she said I used her it broke all my patience.
Yes I agree I don't deserve her.
I agree I'm responsible for pain but I always loved her. I love her so much that I can't hear my love as sex.
I looked her and in a second I pinned me to the wall shouting, "Chup. Ek dum chup. Ek baar aur bola na ki mera pyar jhut h yaa I loved you for your body to ek tapad laguga. Samjh ni aata tumhe that I love you. I know bht dard hai par tumhe meri zarurat hsi. Kyu ni samjhti tum?", I cried and again took her in my embrace. I know I shouldn't have shouted but she forced me. I love her and before my love she is my child whom I can slap even when she is wrong. She snuggled to my chest which means she still needs me. Her words are not her heart or mind wants. It's​ just she got panic attacks. But she startled me by pushing me and shouting, "Haa so maaro. Maaro na everytime you saw me jab dusre marte the whether it's holi or school or college iss baar khud mar lo. Khushi mikegi tumhe. Agar tum ni maroge toh khud mar jaungi.", Saying this she picked the knife from fruit basket and was about to cut her veins when don't know how my hand raised and I slapped her.
Shit!
I shouldn't have done this.
She wailed like a baby and fell on floor crumbling into a ball.
All she whispered was ," No one loves me."

"Pagal ho Manik. Kya kiya tumne?", Nia shouted.

She was about to wake Nanhi up when I shouted, "leave her Nia. Just leave us alone. She needs me only nobody else."

I carried Nanhi into the and closed the door.

Cuddling her close to my hesrt I kneaded her hairs and waited till she wakes up and share what she was thinking.

*******
Lots of things to explain all your answer is in next update which will be on 3 April hopefully.!