nandini's pov

I was walking back to venue, after fresh bath, after long haldi holi..manik had both kids, so I need not worry about it , and I can concentrate on the preparations, rather than running behind avni..I was about trip from stairs, suddenly someone held me, if not nandini murthy would have been in blood pool..i muttered a thanku still closing my eyes..i felt it familiar..i opened my eyes..only to meet my dad, which had concern for his daughter..

daaa..I couldn't complete my words..he made me stand up, his emotions changed to pure hatred...and said..

hell with ur dad, leave me alone..he almost pushed me aside..only tears made my way..its my life..no one wants me..no one..i wanted cry out loud for my dad, but he left me like the way he did other day..i rubbed my eyes..i opened my phone to see

(imagine nandini and her dad)

I went to flash back..

nandu, baby don't run u gonna hurt, he said to me, I just ran more...

dad, catch me if u can, I said all the three laughed..it was blissful , me and manik came to home, after hearing that mom and dad, are back from Kashmir as he was army officer, they used leave there, leaving me with manik..they trust him more, are I can say more than me...they are coolest parents I ever seen and ever heard..but trust me, i'm the most luckiest, to get all the three..they will never hurt me..they won't leave me..i know that, they will never..

princess, come back to dad...deko zid nai karthe... i'm sorry baby..i know I didn't informed u , I thought of giving u surprise..es liye maine sirf manik ko bathaya..so that I can give surprise to my little daughter..he tried to reach me, but let me remind u, i'm nandini murthy..she won't leave this matter easily..though I loved the surprise, but i'm faking gussa so that, I can get pamper from my dad..after long time..

joh sab es ko bathna..muje kyu batha hoge? I showed fakest gussa, as I threw cushion on manik's face, he not only entered my life, but my parents life too..he gets more pamper than me, everyone loves him more, not me..though I know they love both equally..but I need also pamper and care like him..he became more kid to my parents nowdays..nandini murthy se kon puche ga? huh..

aww, jaanu, what I did? tum muje kyu mar rahi ho..he hide behind my mom..who held me securely and protecting him from me...though I loved the sight..but my mind was not ready to get defeated...while my mom laughed..and my dad was giving helpless to them..

i'm going...pamper him more..i stomped my feet in anger, walked to stairs..i was reached last step, suddenly I slipped from steps, before I hit the floor..dad came to rescue me..i was scared to shit..i was trying to figure out what happened within seconds..

nandu, baby are u fine..lagi tho nai..I heard my dad's voice with full affection , care, fear and love as he engulfed me..i was still collecting myself..i would fell down, if he would not held me..i hugged him back...

jaanu, are u fine..i heard manik..as he hugged me from behind, I could clearly hear his fear in his voice..

nandini are u fine...came my mom, who was verge in crying..i tightened my grip on my dad's shoulder..i didn't feared for death..but I feared at the thought what will happen to them, without me...

hey baby, ur fit and fine with ur daada..said my dad, I felt lump in my throat, didn't I said I had best dad..he was the one..he could never see me in pain..he loves me more than anything..

dad, i'm fine..i said as I broke the embrace, only to be pulled back, by my little lovely family, who loves me in terms infinity...

jaanu..don't pull such stuff again ..warna dek lena..he scolded..as he held me tight by waist..

sorry baba..i'm fine..jab tak nandini ki dad aur uski manik uske sath honge nandini kuch nai hoga..truly, I know they won't let me fall..never..I held by them securely..

flashback ends..

as a memory striked my mind, my heart cherished best days of life..but my eyes..it flowed pouring its contribution to my memories...everything was so perfect..just like a fairy tale..where I was princess of my parents...life of a prince..but today..everything changed..all together..i was nowhere same nandini, who trusts people..i just sat on stairs as it is little isolated place, it helped me more..life changed into 360 degree in just three days..the people I thought won't leave me left me..people I thought will never let me go..left my hand..as if they didn't held my hands..i was broken, I was lonely..i had nothing in life...because of me , my mom is in coma, she hates me because I left manik..my dad, he hates for every damn thing and manik..he didn't want our kids..wow ! what a life nandini murthy...its all over..why should I cry over something..but still a guilt is there..because of me, my dad lost my mom..i'm the hell reason for every damn thing on earth..now all three are just a memory..i lost everything..even though I had everything..

I looked up..asking my aiyyapp, what sin, I had done to get this fate..like always I didn't get any answer..my whole world of three were broken in just three days..i lost my world.. I should have not expected anything from any, I will end up hurting myself..i trusted this three will never hurt me..but look here, everything around that day, just failed me..showed me , how wrong I was..once I had full confidence on this people, I thought they will never let me down, but today..i'm in deepest shit, non is there to lift me..non..i rubbed my fresh tears..this is my life..i accepted it long back..there is looking back..when I have nothing to look back..i have only reason to my life, my kids..only them..if they also leave me..i'm sure ..I will be dead the next second..there is no reason for my life..after all every damn thing I had.. I lost it..i lost them..

I walked to venue, I gave look to my kids, they were with manik..I turned to see  decoration, are could I say, I wanted hide every emotion of mine...I started mingling with my employees...as I made sure everything goes well..at least my best buddies, get what they want..they are truly blessed from aiyyappa unlike me..everything was done..i gave a look..i just want to say, this theme of today's arrangement was my dream wedding theme..which will never happen..i used imagine manik and me under mandap, my parents doing kanyadhan..that day never came..i made every arrangement , as I dreamt of..every single corner of the theme was my imagination of mine and manik's wedding..i smiled seeing me and mani in mandap in wedding attire..i was bought to reality by my manager..i looked manik, I could feel his sharp gaze against me..i nodded and walked to them...I tried my best to hide my emotions..if non was around, I will cry like hell..i sat simply there..by giving avni work, of looking  for jeevika..I had enough I sat there..simply doing nothing..i was looking nowhere..manik and abhay tried to speak..but I wanted nothing ..but I need everything in same piece , which I know, it will never happen..i sat silenty, thousands memories of happiness flew in front of eyes like reel..i was just watching them..i wish I could erase that 3 days from life..i would have been in heavens..

my thoughts were disturbed again, I went looking for other things..when I came back..i saw avni in manik's arms, his head down..i looked properly..only to see my dad, giving hateful look to all the three..he gave final look to manik in disgust..i was about say daa..once again, it was not completed like before..like manik , my dad also hates my kids and me..my kids got hatred from his dad...and I was in same boat like my kids..i always wished to get every best thing in world to my kids..but I forgot that, there was always place for a dad, no one can take it away...I really pity my kids...though they never said that, they needed a dad, but I could see every time in their eyes..even I wanted my parents, but they didn't turned up when I was in verge of losing myself..i was in darkness..i needed my mom's lap, saying sweet things..she will never let anything happen to me..and my dad being my side he would always protect me..and manik..I needed him..but I will never accept that fact..and make a fool of myself ..giving him any chance..i don't repeat my mistakes, never..

I walked out..i ran in corridors..i reached terrace..though I heard everyone yelling my name..but I need my space, where I cry for what not..i just cried and cried..was it my life, is this..there is no day..that I didn't cried..i cried for every damn loss..i lost my parents..i left my love behind..was I wrong to trust them so much..or I guess I expected so much from people..which I don't deserve..i felt someone sitting next to me..i never need to see the face of his face, I can feel him..i can..he pulled me in side hug, I sobbed harder..my mind was absent ..I was nowhere in sense..i needed him..only him..he pulled me into his lap, he didn't said any neither I, we never need words, we can understand each other silence also, we both cried..he cried for his losses and I for mine..  he lost beautiful family..and I lost myself in a city, which never saw my other side..

our  moment was spoiled by call, but I didn't cared I was keeping my head, on his chest, as he held me tightly..i know, I should hate him..i still hate him..but truth is I love him more than I hate him..that's the reason, I hate myself more..

it was actually viren's call..we walked out..i got back to venue after freshening up urself, with manik beside me.. I looked around to see everything was perfect..i looked my kids...they were actually sitting with cabir's son and dhruv's daughter, and most importantly they were happy..i looked for my dad, he gave disgust look to me..now I accept the fact..i deserve it maybe..i was called to gattbhandan, being viren's rakhi sister..i tied the knot..i smiled from heart.. the day they dreamt of came true..i had tears at my corner of my eyes..as I saw jeevika's parents did the ritual of giving their daughter to their damad...I forced to smile, while I was screaming from inside..manik had both kids..he was just looking dad... for what reason I really don't know..i could see tears in his eyes..but I turned away, telling myself it won't affect any more..but I knew it will..i looked my dad's eyes, it had disappoint in his eyes, for manik..but why? I didn't knew..

after marriage , and everything I patted my kids, who were tired of whole event of marriage..i looked abhay's body, he didn't any rashes any more..thanks to manik's mom..her timely thought..i checked avni, she was sleeping peacefully hugging her pillow..i walked to shower..something which can lift me up..i sat on floor, after switching on the shower..the coldest water hit my body..but my body already felt weak to feel any external pain..i sat for hours..i was just numb, only tears flowed from my eyes...I really didn't realize I was shivering at cold water..i felt myself pale..i felt too weak..i felt i'm gonna faint..I felt like I can't breath..i felt closing my eyes now and then..

I collected myself, tried my best not to faint..i changed to simple white shirt and black shorts..i felt like I will lose myself..i want yell one name..manik..I felt closing my eyes ..I came out and saw my kids were sleeping peacefully..i wanted to bang at maniks' door..but I was unable to reach him..i felt I can't breath..my body was turning pale..i could feel my own cold body...i walked to balcony , so that I could get air..i sat on floor..i couldn't take step any further..my whole life went like a flash..i could see my mom's food for me on my birthday..i could see my dad, making me wear his shoe..where I'm walking in kitchen, as my dad was getting scold from my mom..smiling manik..manik's proposal..our living together..my parents with him..my life with him..that blissful nights..my pregnancy news from doctor, and my reaction..that day..my failure..my loss..my failed life..my fate..my lost love..my lost parents..my pregnancy days..my accident..my labour pain..my struggle to get my kids..my kids lastly..i can not lose myself..my kids need me..yes they need me..aiyyappa, if u have little mercy upon me..give my life back..my kids need me..i can't push them to darkness..there is no one to take care of them..everyone hates my kid..i should live for my kids..only for them..please give me one chance to live, with my only reason of living..and I was black out..i was in air..i didn't felt pain in my heart anymore..i lastly saw my kids sleeping peacefully with manik..I was nowhere..i smiled..that's it I remember..

manik's pov..

nandini please don't leave me, please jaanu..if u won't punish me, u do it, whatever u want ..but please don't leave alone...I was screaming from inside..i couldn't shout, because I have my kids to look after..one was crying like hell and other was just looking nandini..abhay was too numb too react..i pulled him more to me..

abhay, baby, she will be fine..deko mamma, tume kabi chod ke kahi ni jayegi..she won't leave u baby..i gave him warmth , as I felt another baby engulfing from other side..i pulled avni..abhay finally started sobbing harder..that was what I wanted..i was about to call navya bhabi..before that door flung with navya bhabi and cabir.. and where from mrudula(hope u remember- dhruv's daughter) came I didn't know...

ca-manik, what happened bro? he asked in worry..as he pulled avni from my arms...she cried more in his arms..i really don't know they share this beautiful bond, with small time gap..

ma- I don't know cabir,  jaanu is not opening her eyes..i tired to wake her up,,..but no use..bhabi please kuch karo I need her..we need her please..i finally begged her..as I held nandini's hand in mine with tight grip..abhay just held me more tight, he was sobbing harder without a word..

nav-bhai, don't worry I will see her..i'm sure she will be fine in few hours..she opened her kit started checking her..as I didn't left her hand for any second..i didn't wanted lose her..she is my life..she is my soul..mainly she is mother of my kids, who need her more than anyone..

after like 10 minutes of checkup, which actually felt like another decade without her..avni was in lap of cabir, he was consoling her..her cries where no end..finally, like finally she stopped ..with cabir's consoling words..as he assured she will be fine..she looked me for assurance I nodded,,she ran to my arms..she clung to my right arm..i kissed her hairs..

ma-pumpkin, mamma will be fine..dekna tumre pich bagthe ayegi..avni , what the hell is this? bolke...finally weak smile adored her face..true that smile soothed to some limits..i patted her head..i looked my other kid, who was just looking my consolation to avni, he smiled , when he saw her smile..i kissed his forehead..but I turned to nandini, as bhabi injected to her skin, we all three closed our eyes...I could see nandini flinching her eyes in pain..

ma-bhabi is she fine..why she is like this? kya huwa use bolna? I choked at my every word..

nav-bhai, she is fine, and will be up in hours together ...aur e sab es liye huwa kyu ki, she must have been in cold shower for hours..her body could not take any more..so that's why she fainted...she will be fine..just cover her with warmth..she will be fine..she said as she gave some water to me..i drank water...I got relief..i got my breath, which I was helding...my burning heart felt little coldness..but when I heard she was in cold shower, that reminds me that she must crying under shower..and mainly I being reason..i being jerk..ends her up hurting, every damn time..fuck...I wanted kill myself..for every thing, and its all because of one foolish act of mine..burned entire world of her..

ab-she will be fine, aunty??...he asked her , as he held me tight by collar, I could clearly see an unknown insecurity in his eyes, there was depth of pain in it..he looked he was lonely..he needed someone..

mr-she will be fine abhay..said mrudula before bhabi, with melodious voice, her tone had concern, soulfulness , just soothed all of us..abhay looked her..he looked her for a minute..and turned to me..and I was amused..

ma-buddy, she will be fine..jab nandini ute gi na..hum 3 use dar sari datenge..I will support u baby..

ab-hey I won't leave mamma..for pulling this type of stunts..he said sternly..i could see myself within him..i smiled as I kissed him..he looked again mrudula..

ab-thanks..sorry ur name..he said as he forgot most beautiful girl, a greatest sin, according to mrudula..

mr-what the hell? u don't me..THE MRUDULA TOPIWAL..she yelled..that's it..it is called perfect combination..i had son,, who is no less to me in anger..and mrudula is a girl..who won't accept negligence..and he forgetting her name is biggest mistake of his life..

ab-u girl, u must be mru..whatever..it doesn't matter me..yeah thanks for words..he turned his face again to nandini..in this heated situation, they need fight..simply wow!

mr-how rude., chachu..see ur son..i came here to console him..but see he shows me his attitude..she complained to me..god, please take this drama queen away from me..i need nandini, that's I wanted..and cabir and avni where like having best gossip of the world, eyeing them..and navya bhabi opened her mouth, to say something, but ended up with shutting again..

ab-did, I ask u to come and console me??, no right, then out of the room right now..i could see a shell within him..he had depth in his meaning..i could clearly see in his eyes..i could see , he badly needs someone at his side..but he stopped anyone to come near him..but why? is it again me..oh! god, how much u want me to feel guilt over my deeds..

mr-fine, be within urself..she also had meaning her words..god whats happening in mine and my kids life..she stomped her feet walked out...leaving us in shock..i looked cabir.. he had same look as mine..u know evil minds work alike..

ca-manik, I'm feeling we gonna witness new generation love story..he said eyeing the door, from where annoyed mrudula went, and he looked back at abhay..he was confused..thanks he is not that mature..i instantly threw pillow..in this moment he needed this...

ma-cabir, out of the room now..and stop ur guttur thoughts right now..cabir ran for his life..and stopped at door, turned back ..

ca-vaise, abhay not a bad choice man, u both make good couple for sight...that's it abhay threw another cushion..he can't be serious at this time..but I knew, he did purposely did to lift abhay's mood...who looked lost with nandini's health..i knew my buddy..but It was true, they made great couple..manik have u lost it..here u have lost ur own track with ur love..and ur trying to hook ur son to ur friends daughter..urgg Malhotra..

after 2 hours..

I was leaning to head board, nandini was in my lap,, I covered her with duvets..and my kids were dozing on either of arms..there was no wink of sleep in my eyes..i only need nandini..not only me, my kids need her..i patted my kids..who were hell tired of crying , though abhay tried not to sleep, but I patted his head..he went to slumber in minutes..i kissed his hair..and covered him with another duvet.. I looked another baby of mine..she was sleeping in peace..she was still a baby..i finally looked my angel jaanu..she was better now..her paleness came down..she was recovering..her coldness came down..she was warm enough like normal person..and now she needs only to open her eyes..i was pecking her forehead now and then..my eyes..never get tired of crying..

my wait was worth..when I saw eye moment in her eyes..she held me tight at my shirt..she can feel me..

ma-jaanu, get up..please shona open ur eyes..i said sweetly..as I patted her cheeks..she finally opened her eyes..

na-manii...she said weakly..how badly wanted to hear this from her mouth..she smiled weakly..i hugged her..

ma-u scared us nandini..I said, as I felt fresh tears kissing my cheeks..

na-i'm fine manii..she said , as she soothed my back..i kissed her neck.. inhaled her scent, it was divine..i held my girl, more tightly, she gave in..she knew I needed her badly..

na-manik, i'm fine..she  ruffled my hairs..i was at peace... I broke the embrace...I looked my kids, they were sleeping peacefully..i made them sleep properly on bed..as I extended my hands to water jug..i gave her water, she gulped down..she looked her kids, with all her love she kissed them..

ma-nandini, hear me clear u won't pull that stuff again..i scolded her.she made a pout..i knew she was not in her senses properly, if she would have, she will blasted me next second only..for now..i want this moment to be relished..

na-manii, sleep, muje sona hai..she said as she snuggled more into me...huh! this feels heaven , kasam se...

I myself pushed downwards..i covered all the four in duvet..all the three cuddled me..that's my family..at the end..each and everyone needs each other by their side...I slept perfectly at peace with small family..i didn't knew when I dozed off..

kaisa laga guys..i know..i'm late..but I was out of station..so couldn't cope up with writing story in travel..i know it was emotionally, some hates manik to core..but I need say, every chapter as its own value..just go with the flow..

With lots of love