#When it gets too difficult, breathe in and out, for that's all you could do#

"Nandini!"

I could hear my friends whispering to each other, and I have no idea what it was, because I was busy living a dream.

"I'm hungry, Ma. Bhooki bhooki."

And I felt it.

The tough feeling at the back of my throat. There was a lump waiting to go down it, for which I'm unable to.

Ma?!!

Blinking the stray tears forming in my eyes away, I tried to focus on her.

Her and the little girl in her arms!

Ma?!

She had that beautiful smile on her lips, and I felt that lump getting bigger in my throat, yet, I wasn't able to gulp it down.

Ma?

Smiling down at that girl, she was moving around and I felt my eyes moving along, not wanting to leave her. While all she was doing was to pamper that little girl and taking care of her needs like a mother would.

Ma.

"Chellam, come here. Meet them. Our business partners. Oh by the way, this is Cabir who's my friend as well. Cabir Dhawan and his family."

And our eyes met. Just like old times.

Oh how much I missed them!

~~~**~~~

No!

That can't be!

No! No!

That can't be him standing in front of me.

"Cabir Dhawan and his family."

No! No! No!

"And this is Manik Malhotra!"

That can't -shouldn't be him!

"Chellam!" Snapping me out of my thoughts, I looked at Anna and Bhai, who were staring at me puzzled. Clearing my throat, I looked back at them.

"H-Hi! Nandini! Nandini Oberoi!"

I tried to smile at the people in front of me who once I considered as my family, I really did try.

But it was hurting!

Gulping the lump in my throat, I looked at them smilingly and hoped that my eyes would never deceive me.

"Oberoi?"

I looked towards my left on hearing that voice.

"But I thought you were a...Murthy?"

Her eyes held accusations and betrayal in them and I wonder if my absence did bother her so much. And then her gaze fell on Annu, with something akin to a realization dawning upon.

"Uh... I'm sorry, what?" I heard Charan Bhai, and I held his hand, for I knew he felt offended with that question from her.

From Navya.

From my best friend.

Or...do I still hold that right?

I stepped forward to walk towards where she stood, and heaved a sigh.

"It's just...I don't use Murthy anymore." I told her and she looked at me expectantly. "How are you?"

She stared at me wordlessly before letting out a scoff.

"Well, I just met my best friend who's been MIA for about five years and guess what? I don't receive an explanation, according to her." She wasn't soft while talking but neither was she yelling. I tried to hold onto her, and she just stepped back. "Hi, I'm Nandini Oberoi?" She questioned the tone of my greeting and I let out another distress filled sigh.

"Can we not do this now? Please, Navya?" I looked at her and then at my daughter who looked confused and a little worried on seeing Navya upset. She looked at Annu and then at my brothers, before nodding.

"I'm sorry." She looked back at my family again. "We used to be best friends. Guess, that tag is no more."

I stared at her emotionless and feeling hurt but anyhow turned my attention towards my brothers, who understood that Navya is someone from my past.

"Well, why don't we get to lunch?" Anna suggested and I moved along with my daughter with a certain gaze following me around.

It's hard to get rid of him.

~~~**~~~

After lunch!

"Navya!" "Can you stop walking?"

"No!"

"Navya! I'm not able to catch up with your pace."

"Well, I wasn't able to even know if you were dead or alive in the past five years."

"Goddamn it, Navya! I've gotten used to stilettos. I can't walk fast."

"Oh wow! At least I'm still the same person."

"So was it my mistake your husband's best friend rejected my proposal?"

She stood still.

Thank God!

I stopped too, and started to breathe hard while holding onto my hips and bending down.

Walking around with Annu in my arms has taken a toll on my hips. They get so freaking painful.

"No, it wasn't." She turned around to face me. "But running away due to the rejection was."

I let out a scoff, before looking at myself.

"So how long should I wait for that perfect life moment? I'd lost my parents at such a young age. I'd lost a family even before I knew the exact meaning behind that word. Your brother-like-friend was the only guy whom I could call mine. But I'd lost him too." I walked ahead to stand in front of her.

"What was I supposed to do? Wait for another miracle? Or maybe wait for another heartbreak? I'm sorry I wasn't that strong of a person. I'm sorry I was too weak to handle a rejection. I'm sorry I was..." Before I knew, she pulled me in for a hug and I blinked the tears away.

It's been a while since I've cried!

"Its okay. Just let it out. Everything!" And I did, like instructed.

~~~**~~~

"Hey!"

"Huh?" I looked up at the person, almost a little startled. I blinked once, twice and thrice for my vision was a little blurry.

"Yeah!"
I nodded and looked down at the glass of my whiskey in hand.

"Manik?"

I looked up at Cabir, who was staring at me carefully, as if I might vanish into thin air. "I'm fine."

"But you don't look fine to me." I chuckled at the concern in his words. "So what do you expect? The only girl I ever loved in my life is now someone else's w..." I bit onto my lips hard, unable to use that word for her because that title wouldn't related to me.

"She's a...mom...A mom, now, Cabir. A mom!" I smiled slightly at that thought even though she wouldn't belong to me anymore. Even though she's a mom to someone else's...child.

Shutting my eyes tight, I inhaled deep to calm the hell down!

"Manik, try to calm yourself down, please. Jo hogaya so hogaya aur hum Kuch nahi kar payenge yaar."

"And who's to blame, Cabir? Who, Cabir? Me. Just me. Usne kaha tha mujhse that she wanted a family with me. She wanted to be mine. She said she'd like to know how it's to grow old with the monster Manik. Aur mene Kya Kiya? Chod diya usko. Uske Dil thod diya mene."

Punching the wall in front of me, I broke down in tears. It's been a while since I'd cried. It's really been a while.

"It's okay!"

Pulling me in for a hug, Cabir helped me let everything out and I didn't hold back this time.

Not anymore!

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