SANTIAGO'S POV

"What the hell do you mean I will not be allowed to attend the hearing?" I demand hitting my fist against the metallic table.

It rattles, the sound echoing in the room a bit loudly. My reaction doesn't even faze Rowan, my lawyer but Finn who's also present in the visitation room with us gives me a disapproving look. I raise my hands up in surrender to show him that I am cool. I sit back down even though calm is the last thing I feel.

"I know we had not anticipated this but ..." Rowan starts but I cut him off.

"Anticipated this? It wasn't even a consideration. How am I supposed to get released if they won't let me plead my case?" I ask.

The whole point of a parole hearing is for me to defend myself in front of the board and assure them that I am worthy of early release. I have worked so hard to be here, followed all rules by the book and been a model inmate only for this set back to slap me in the face at the last moment. I already have so many plans, for myself, with Hannah and Diego and now this development is trying to shake all that up? Hell no!

"That's why you hired me." Rowan replies.

I roll my eyes at him wondering if he thinks his words are of any comfort to me. I hired him because it increased my chances of release having a lawyer to represent me but with me present. I did not think I would have to place the fate of my whole future in his hands.

"Do you trust me Mr. Delgado?" Rowan asks.

"No!" I reply because it's the honest truth.

I do not trust anybody, let alone a man in a suit asking me to let him blindly lead me. The only reason he is here is because I paid him good money not because he cares.

"That's fine but I can guarantee you there is a reason I am the best. You paid me to represent you and that's exactly what I am going to do to the best of my ability." Rowan assures me.

He's so smug and self assured, the look of every lawyer who knows they are good. I know he is, he came highly recommended but it does nothing to alleviate my fear.

"Are you sure there is nothing you can do?" I ask sighing in defeat.

"I would have wanted you to be there but the state recently passed a new law that states convicts can't attend their own parole hearings but instead must be represented by an attorney or have family and friends speak on their behalf." Rowan explains.

I huff when I realize the gravity of the situation presented in front of me.

"So what do I do now?" I ask.

"Go against your very nature and trust me. I will get you out Mr. Delgado, you have my word." Rowan guarantees me.

"Easier said than done." I grunt.

"I know but it's all you can do."

"Fine." I accept knowing he is right.

"Perfect, thank you. Now are you sure there's nobody we can call to help your defense, your brother, girlfriend?" Rowan asks.

I jerk my head up to look at him wondering why he is bringing this up again especially on the day of my hearing.

"I already said no, I do not want to get them involved in this. You said that the recommendation from Darius is enough." I challenge.

"It is, I'm confident about that but it wouldn't hurt to have someone who personally knows you vouching for you." Rowan explains.

"I said no. Do not involve them in this." I insist.

I do not want Diego involved in my release because he is too young to have that kind of pressure on him and he already has enough to worry about with school. As for Hannah, I already have one Johnson's recommendation and that's more than enough.

"That's okay, your hearing starts soon so I better get going. I will be back later, with good news. You can trust me on that." Rowan says getting up.

"Don't fail me Rowan." I grit out.

"I won't." He promises picking up his briefcase.

I don't have any more words to say to him so I sit and watch him be escorted out. Finn gives me a few minutes to compose myself knowing that the news I've received couldn't have been easy.

"You'll be missed around here." Finn says leading me back to my cell.

"You trust that lawyer to get me out?" I ask him.

"I've seen him represent many inmates in here and he's never not won. You are in safe hands." Finn answers.

"I'll take your word for it." I nod.

At least one person is confident about this because I for sure I'm not. I can't remember the last time I had to rely on another human being. This is my freedom we are talking about so I'm within my rights to be worried.

Finn uncuffs me outside my cell giving me an encouraging nod before he leaves. I find Julius sleeping on his bed. I walk in trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake him but I fail. He stirs awake and sits up looking at me slightly confused.

"Hey boss. What time is it?" He asks rubbing his eyes.

"Early, go back to sleep." I reply.

"Aren't you supposed to be at your parole hearing? Or did you already go and come back?"

"There's been a new development. Rowan will represent me without me present." I explain.

"That's fucked up. You doing good boss?" Julius inquires picking up on my mood.

"Not in the slightest." I sigh plopping myself onto my bed.

Julius pops his head into the space between our bunks looking down at me.

"Nobody is more deserving of early release and this Rowan guy is good. Don't worry boss, you'll be getting out. Sucks for me but you deserve it." Julius encourages.

"Thanks kid."

Julius nods at me and for once he doesn't push for more conversation which I am grateful for. I am already used to indulging him but today of all days I do not have it in me. His head disappears and a few minutes later I hear his soft snores meaning he has gone back to sleep.

I lay on my bed for half an hour tossing and turning trying to get my mind to calm down with little success. I can't get my mind off the hearing and since lying is nothing but torture I decide to go find something to distract myself. If I am going to wait all day, I might as well do it while being helpful.

"Where are you going?" Julius mumbles sleepily when he hears me get up.

"Work." I respond changing into my kitchen uniform.

"Do you even work there anymore?" He asks.

"I need the distraction. Staying in here is not helping with the waiting." I reply.

If I have to stay in this cell for another minute thinking about all that could go wrong at the hearing, I'll go crazy.

"Okay, I'll see you at lunch then." Julius says turning back around and going back to sleep.

I leave the cell and head straight to the kitchen.

Ronald gives me a hard look when I enter.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at your parole hearing?" He asks echoing the same thing Julius did.

Their questioning is only making me feel worse.

"I'm here to work, got anything for me?" I ask ignoring his second question.

"There's always work to be done but should you even be here?" Ronald challenges.

"Put me to work Ronald." I demand.

All I want is to stop thinking and working is the only way I can think of making that possible. Ronald sees my desperation and points me towards the sink.

"Dishes."

"Thank you."

I don't do dishes but at this point I will take a anything, the harder the labor, the better. I put on some gloves, hair net and get to work.

Working in the kitchen does help to distract me especially since there isn't a quiet moment as inmates share crazy stories. I rarely give my input but listening helps to distract me.

"Any word?" Julius asks when lunch time rolls around.

"No." I reply giving him his fruit for the day, a banana.

"Hang in there boss, it'll be okay." He encourages moving on.

After I'm done serving the line, I sit down to eat with the rest of my fellow workers and instead of ending my shift like I usually do, I keep on working till the dinner shift.

I know my hearing is over by now but there's still no word from Rowan and its getting harder and harder not to think negatively.

After dinner at four pm I can no longer stand to be in the kitchen so I decide to leave. I need something stronger to help me calm down so even if it's not a Saturday when I usually call Hannah I decide to head for the call room. I need to hear her voice to remind me what I'm working so hard towards.

I run into Moreno as he's leaving the call room and he ushers me to the side so we can talk for a moment.

"How did the hearing go?" He asks.

Another reminder that I have been going crazy all day with no news.

"I don't know yet." I answer.

"What? What are you doing here then?" He insists.

I explain to him what happened earlier this morning and how I've been going stir crazy all day waiting for news. All I get from him is a comforting pat once I'm done but then again there's nothing to be said.

"I know you're all over the place not knowing if you can trust your lawyer or not but I've got to ask." Moreno starts.

"What?"

"Have you put any thought into what you'll do once you're out of here? Will you get back in the game or did your lady already turn you into a church boy?" Moreno asks chuckling at that last part.

I have been thinking about this for a long time and there's only one clear path forward.

"I'm leaving the game." I answer confidently.

Moreno's eyes shoot up in response because he did not expect me to say that. I understand his reaction, I was practically born in the gang but I've served my time and its time to leave. I have important people in my life right now that I need to worry about and take care of.

"Are you sure about that? Is that your final decision?" Moreno insists.

"Yes." I assure him.

It was an easy conclusion to come to. I don't want to put the people I love in any danger by being involved in the drug game again. I also can't ever get arrested again. I need to see my future with Hannah through. I actually see myself growing old with her by my side and that won't happen if I'm risking my life all day dealing drugs for the gang.

"All I can say is good luck to you then. But you know the members on the outside won't like that. There will be a price to pay." Moreno warns.

"I already did pay it, three and a half years of my life in this hell hole." I grit out.

"They will need more than that. You know in this life we chose you either die on the streets or in prison." Moreno reminds me.

I already know that but it ain't happening to me. I chose life, love and family.

"I am not dealing drugs anymore. I see a different future for myself. I am not putting Diego or Hannah at risk like that." I insist.

"You are one of the best so they just won't let you go." Moreno warns.

There's a reason I went my whole life without getting arrested and when I did its because I sacrificed myself for Diego not that I got caught. I am street smart and good at the game. It's just not for me anymore.

"I know I'll have to pay for it. I'm ready." I express.

"Good, just make sure to pick your least favorite limb." Moreno chuckles.

"They aren't chopping me up." I assert.

The gang is famous for chopping off body parts as a form of punishment. I've seen it happen and even done it to someone who betrayed us a couple of years back.

"That's what they did to the last guy who left, maybe they'll go easy on you or harder." Moreno replies.

"I'll be fine." I say with fake confidence.

I am not really sure about that but I have to remain positive. I am very attached to all my limbs.

"If you say so. Good luck brother. See you around." Moreno expresses and with that he turns around and leaves.

I stay in the same spot for a couple of more minutes thinking about what Moreno and I have discussed and its not putting my mind at ease. I already knew getting out would be difficult but Moreno just reminded me how bad it can get. I've watched someone loose their hand before but I've given my whole life till now to the gang and its time I put myself and those I love first.

With that thought in mind I enter the call room and find a free phone dialing that familiar number. The call goes through immediately as if Hannah was waiting for my call, but then again she always picks up fast.

"Mami."

"Cesar? Are you okay? What's wrong? Aren't you supposed to be at your parole hearing?" She rambles out.

"Calm down mami. Yes I'm okay and I was supposed to be there but things changed and only my lawyer can be present and those defending me." I explain.

"Oh and what's the verdict?" Hannah asks.

"I don't know yet." I reply.

"But your lawyer was confident in the outcome right?"

"Yes."

"Then let's trust him." Hannah advises.

"It's not that easy but I am trying." I confess.

"It'll be okay Cesar, I can feel it. You'll be out soon and we can finally see each other. I have missed you." She confesses.

"I have missed you too mami, so much. I can't wait to see you again." I answer.

"Me either." She sighs and I can tell that the unknowing is eating at her too.

"Why didn't you ask me to speak on your behalf at the hearing?" Hannah asks taking me by surprise.

I didn't see that question coming but Rowan did ask me the same thing earlier today.

"I don't want you tangled up in my mess and besides I already have one Johnson to thank." I reply shortly hoping she understands.

"I wouldn't have had an issue with it." She assures me.

"I know mami, thank you but I still didn't want you involved. You've already done so much for me." I answer.

I hear Hannah sigh in acceptance even though she's fighting against her own caring nature.

"Diego and I are going to Rhode Island together? Did he tell you he asked me to accompany him?" She asks changing the subject.

"No."

Diego didn't tell me he intended to ask Hannah that when he last came to visit.

"Are you okay with it?" Hannah inquires.

"Yes of course, why wouldn't I be?" I challenge.

"I don't know, I'm just checking. I don't want to cross any boundaries." She explains carefully.

Oh my sweet sweet girl.

"Mami I don't think it's possible for you to do that. You've been an angel for both of us and I appreciate you picking up the slack where I can't. I'll be sure to make it up to you soon." I promise her.

"I'm not doing it as a favor, I'm doing it because I care." She argues.

"I know that and I want to say thank you." I appreciate her.

"You're welcome."

"You two have a great trip."

"We will."

I sigh when my mind goes back to the not knowing in my life. What is up with Rowan? He should have already gotten back to me by now.

"I know you're worried but it'll be okay Cesar." Hannah speaks up.

"Thanks mami. I don't want to keep you any longer. Have a good evening." I say realizing that we've been talking for a while and she's probably on shift.

"You too, take care of yourself."

"Always." I promise her and hang up leaving the call room.

I'm halfway across the hall when I'm called back.

"Delgado, there's a call for you." Callahan shouts.

A call for me?

I'm always the one calling people not the other way around. Maybe Hannah has something she forgot to tell me. I walk back toward him and pick up the phone he's pointing at.

"Hello?" I mumble confused since I have no idea who's on the other side of the call.

"Mr. Delgado, it's me Rowan." My lawyer introduces.

"What the hell man? I've been waiting for you all day." I demand.

"I know and I'm sorry. I was on my way back but I'm stuck in traffic so I won't make it on time. I couldn't make you wait till morning." He explains.

There's news!

I take a deep breath and brace myself for whatever may come out of his mouth.

"Lay it on me, good or bad news?" I ask.

"Start packing up your cell Mr. Delgado." Rowan answers calmly and it's all I needed to hear.

"You mean it? You better not be fucking with me Rowan." I yell needing to be sure before I start celebrating.

"I would never do that. I told you to trust me and I've done my job. I'll come by tomorrow and we can finalize everything. You're getting out." He explains.

Hell to the motherfucking yes!

"Yes!" I shout out loud punching my fist into the air making other inmates and Callahan turn around to look at me.

I am too happy to care at this point so I ignore them.

"Thank you Rowan, I never doubted you even for a second." I laugh.

"Yes you did." Rowan chuckles.

"Yes I did but all the same, thank you." I reply.

"Just doing my job sir."

"See you tomorrow." I reply and hang up.

I'd totally do a happy dance right now but that would to be too corny so I settle for a quick prayer as I kiss my cross.

I am getting out! Thank you Lord.

I think about calling Hannah back and giving her the news but decide against it. She wanted to be surprised and this is the perfect way for me to do so.

Holy shit! I'm gonna be a free man. I am getting out. Fucking finally!!!

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