SANTIAGO'S POV

Dear Cesar,

Your mother hit the nail on the head when she gave you that name, it suits you. Since we are hinting at nicknames now, I was thinking of calling you Santi but then I realized that a lot of people probably call you that since it's your first name. You abbreviated your second name in the first letter meaning that not a lot of people know you by that name so even if it's not nickname, I like it, so I will stick to that.

I appreciate you sharing your embarrassing story with me, it does make me feel so much better that even though we are not even, it gives me some leverage against you. I am so sorry that spoilt girl rejected you and your cupcakes. I think they were a really thoughtful gift and she lost the opportunity of dating a really sweet and thoughtful guy. I will eat your cupcakes anytime, I'm sure you are a good baker. Not that I am hinting on anything. I am just rambling, sorry. Ignore all of that if it seems as if I am coming on too strong.

Anyway, the main purpose of this letter was to express my gratitude. Thank you, thank you so much. I feel like words aren't enough to express what you have done for me but they are all I have right now. You have given me the closure and answers I needed. Before your letter I felt like there was a piece of the puzzle missing and now thanks to you, I have all the answers that I desperately needed. Because of you I will be able to move on and honor Darius' name. You will never truly know the magnitude of what you have done for me and I will be eternally grateful.

Please do not feel as if you have to apologize for Darius' death. It is not your fault that he died. He was doing his job and I know for sure that you did your best to protect him. And besides like you told me in the letter, we can both take comfort in the fact that the criminals responsible were all caught and will face the justice that they deserve. Darius died doing what he loved most and that's all the reassurance we need to know that he lived his life to the fullest.

I am so sorry that my brother died before he could fulfil his promise of getting you out. I don't have that kind of power but if there is anything I can ever do to repay you and show you how grateful I am for the gift you have given me then do not hesitate to let me know. You've done me a solid so I owe you one now. Take it as if it's a gift voucher without an expiry date.

I know this is kind of goodbye but you have my address so feel free to contact me at any time. Take care of yourself and watch your back in there.

Once again thank you so much.

Yours truly,

Hannah Claire Johnson.

I lose track of how many times I re-read Hannah's letter. Her big beautiful and bold handwriting is captivating and the letter has a intoxicating feminine scent. So, this is what Hannah smells like. It's faint but it is there.

Reading Hannah's letter makes me feel sad. I'm glad I was able to offer her the closure that she needed but it also means the end of our short-lived correspondence. I have only received two letters from her but they are more than just words on paper to me. They are proof of existence of the beautiful soul that Darius talked about all the time. I hate to admit it but I will miss Hannah. My letter to her served its purpose and even though I did not tell her everything, like how her brother was my arresting officer, she knows enough to help her move on.

It's unfortunate that Darius died before he was able to live up to his promise of getting me out but it's not like he broke his word. It's okay that I am not getting out. I have accepted that I will be serving my full sentence and I am okay with that. All I can hope for now is that Hannah will be able to move on and live her life like Darius would have wanted. She deserves all the happiness in the world.

The dinner announcement rings out and even though I am in no mood to eat, I know that I need to leave my cell. The guards' frown on inmates skipping meals and I prefer keeping a low profile and staying under the radar. Being able to adapt to such a harsh environment plus growing up as I did is the only reason I am alive even though I am incarcerated in one of the most dangerous prisons in the state.

After I pick my dinner, I sit with Moreno and the rest of the gang. I don't talk as I eat but nobody messes with me about it. The whole gang knows me to be quiet and reserved which works in my favor. It's better to be quiet and in the shadows than loud and egocentric. One wrong word and one ends up with a shank to the stomach bleeding out in the middle of the cafeteria floor. It has happened loads of times so it's good to learn how to blend in and quietly.

Which is a lesson apparently not everyone has learnt as I watch Julius barrel towards me angrily holding an empty tray in hand.

"Don't be stupid kid." I mumble under my breath but it's of no use.

The kid looks angry and it's probably because he hasn't eaten in a couple of days thanks to my orders in the kitchen that nobody should serve him unless I give the order. I was hoping to teach him a lesson about hierarchy and respect but he looks determined not to learn at all.

"What the fuck Delgado?" He screams slamming his tray in the table in front of me.

It echoes loudly and the whole cafeteria goes silent as they wait for my response. Julius expects me to fight him but I am not stooping to his level so I assume his presence and keep on eating. This seems to anger him because he snatches the spoon of green beans from my hand and tosses it away. I hear a couple of gasps because Julius has just dug a deeper hole for himself. I notice Moreno shift on the bench from the corner of my eye and I know he is preparing himself to jump in and defend me as a member of his gang. He won't make a move until I request his help or Julius gets out of hand which is unlikely. The kid looks ready to keel over from hunger.

"Can I help you?" I ask finally giving Julius the attention he so desperately wants.

"Yes, you need to order those fools to serve me. I haven't eaten in a week." He screeches.

"I'm sorry, I can"t hear you over all the squeaking coming from your mouth. Can you be clearer?""I tease making a few inmates snicker in amusement.

I know messing with Julius is attracting more attention to myself that I normally like but the kid needs help and my method is not ideal but I know it will work.

"I. Need. Food." Julius grits out emphasizing each word.

"And I need you to learn some manners but that's not happening. Now be a good little boy and scurry off." I demand and turn back to my food.

I pick up a slice of bread to dip into my sauce but it is snatched out of my hand before I can take a bite. Julius is about to put it in his mouth when I grab him by the neck and shove his face into my food holding him there. I can see the guards draw their weapons but its not a fight yet so they don't make a move. The poor boy struggles against my hold but I am twice his size and bulked up, he has no chance against me.

I lean over so that only he can hear me.

"It's time for you to listen boy because I will only say this once. This is prison not a fucking vacation. You walked in here with your head in the clouds and nose turned up as if you are better than the rest of us. Your daddy might be rich but he could not keep you out of here. In here we respect our elders and we follow hierarchy. You are at the bottom of the food chain, mere scum and if you want to live to complete your sentence you need to learn some respect. I am going easy on you because I know nobody has ever put you in your place before. So, from now on, keep your head down, be respectful and learn to keep your mouth shut unless you want it sown shut. Do I make myself clear?" I whisper digging my fingers into his neck and cutting off his air.

Julius does not respond so I squeeze harder, not enough to make him pass out, but just enough to cause him some pain.

"I asked, are we clear?" I repeat.

"Yes." Julius chokes out.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, sir." He whispers and I quickly let him go before he dies in my hands.

He gasps for breath and drops onto the floor struggling to breath.

"Now beat it, I don't want to see your face." I demand lunging at him.

Julius scrambles to his feet and scurries off like a scaredy cat. My food is ruined so I can't keep eating it but that's okay, I was not that hungry anyway.

"Looks like you earned yourself a new bitch." Moreno laughs.

"Not really, I just wanted to teach the kid some manners." I reply.

"Mission accomplished then, I think he peed his pants." Moreno smirks and I look at the floor to see a brown puddle where Julius had fallen.

Julius needed to be scared to learn and since I had managed to scare his bladder loose, I could only hope the rest of him would learn as well. Just because he messed up once does not mean he deserves to die in prison and that's what will happen if he keeps on behaving like an ignorant brat. Hopefully after my lesson he will listen and change his ways if he wants to live. Daddy's money will not save him behind bars.

Without another word I get up from the table and leave the cafeteria abuzz with discussion of my little stunt. I know it will die down soon since there is always something new coming up. I am barely past the door when a fight breaks out on one of the tables and the guards rush over to break it off. See what I mean.

As soon as that whole fiasco dies down, I proceed to the telephone room. I always call Diego once a week to check up on him since he lives alone. I want to make sure that he is staying out of trouble and is in school like he is supposed to.

"Next." Callahan calls out when a telephone is free.

I walk forward since it's my turn and punch in Diego's number waiting for the call to go through. Phone calls from prison are expensive as fuck but I work hard enough to be able to afford them.

"Diego." I call out once the call connects.

"Santi, hi. How are you?" My baby brother's voice calls out from the other end of the call.

"I am good, how are you?" I reply.

Diego and I have a good relationship but it's strained due to me being locked up. Sure, we talk once a week and he visits when he is able to but it is not the same as me being out there in the free world with him.

"I'm fine." He replies trying to sound reassuring but I know him well enough to pick up the nervous undertone in his voice.

"You don't sound fine." I challenge.

Diego goes silent confirming my suspicion even more, "How can you tell?" He asks.

"I am your big brother, it's my job to tell these things. Talk to me, what's up?" I ask.

It hurts that I can't be there for Diego like he needs me to be as his big brother but shit happened and I am behind bars so I make do with what I can and that requires me to be keen on the changes in his tone as they always alert me if something is wrong with him.

"I haven't heard from any of the colleges I applied to." He replies sounding defeated.

"Is that it?" I chuckle feeling relieved that it's not something worse.

Diego living alone means he has a lot of freedom and even though he is a good kid, I fear for the day he abuses the freedom he has and gets himself into trouble. He is the one good thing in my life and I would like for him to stay untainted.

"What do you mean, is that it? This is a big deal Santi." He exclaims frustratedly.

"I know hermano but you're forgetting one thing."

"Oh yeah, what?" He scoffs.

At least the kid is serious about his studies. It shows that he has big plans for his future and I have big hopes from him too. Diego is smart and I never want to see his potential go to waste.

"How smart you are." I reply my voice upbeat so as to encourage him.

I hear Diego chuckle which makes me smile.

"You got the brains and I got the muscle plus the good looks." I tease.

"You are so full of yourself." Diego snorts and I know the dark cloud hanging over him had dissipated.

My mission to cheer him up has been accomplished.

"I know but seriously Diego, stop worrying. You are smart and dedicated and they will be fools not to see that and accept you. You will get it, just be patient as long as there is time and they haven't said no, there is still hope." I assure him.

I know for a fact that Diego will get into a good college and make something of himself. I only managed to go to community college myself but Diego is smart enough to get into an Ivy League school. That's how much I believe in him.

"Thanks Santi, I needed to hear that." Diego replies making me smile.

"You're welcome, now enough moping, tell me something exciting. Did you ask that girl you like to go to prom with you?" I ask.

"Sofia?"

"Yeah, that's the one." I affirm.

Diego has had a crush on his Chemistry partner since sophomore year but he's never had the courage to ask her out.

"No." He grumbles defeatedly.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I inquire.

"I'm scared that she will say no." Diego admits.

Diego is kind of a nerd so his words do not surprise me but as his big brother it is my responsibility to make sure his shyness does not hold him back. He deserves an authentic high school experience and that means taking the girl he likes to prom.

"Listen to me Diego, I did not raise you to be a coward. You are braver than you know. As soon as we end this call, I want you to call her and ask her. If you don't, you will always regret it. Trust me, I know all about regret." I demand.

After my speech the call goes silent on the other side and I think for a moment that we have been disconnected until Diego speaks up, more like whispers.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles.

"What for?" I ask.

"You are in here because of me." He replies quietly.

"Claro que no mi hermano pequeno, how many times do we have to go through this. I am here because of me not you." I scold.

"If it wasn't for me ..." He begins but I cut him off.

"Stop right there. I am in here because of me and me alone, nobody else. You need to stop blaming yourself because it's not your fault, it never was. Everything that went down was all on me. Now promise me that you will call Sofia and ask her to the dance." I demand softly.

I hear Diego sniff before he answers, "I promise."

"Good because you deserve to be happy." I reply.

"You too Santi." Diego says making me smile.

"As long as you are happy, content and safe then so am I. Anyway, away from the mopey stuff, are you okay? Do you need money? Did you pay rent this month?" I ask.

"Santi, you always ask me this. I'm okay, I don't need money and yes, I already paid rent." Diego insists.

"Forgive me if I worry but I don't want you living on noodles in the street." I scold.

I always worry about Diego especially since he is so young and living on his own but it is better than him being in the system or worse, part of the gang. I made sure that he was set financially before I was incarcerated. He will never lack for anything in life, thanks to me being part of a gang from the age of twelve.

"I'm not, I promise. I am taking very good care of myself." He assures me.

"I'm happy to hear that. Stay out of trouble okay." I request him.

Diego was a smart kid but even with his brains it was easy to be negatively influenced thus why I was always encouraging him.

"Yes, big bro, you too." He answers.

"Same time next week?" I ask knowing our time is almost up.

"You know it." He replies.

"Te amo."

"Te amo hermano."

I cut the call and step back to give the next person in line their chance on the phone. I pass by the commissary to get myself a couple of granola bars.

I pass by Julius' cell and toss one at his curled-up self on the bottom bunk.

"Don't miss breakfast tomorrow." I tell him.

"Yes sir." He nods gratefully taking the bar and biting hungrily into it.

I smirk knowing that there is hope for the kid. I did good. I go back to my cell to get some reading done before lights out.

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Hold the pitchforks please. I missed you guys too. I know I have been MIA but I was visiting my parents and had the worst case of writer's block but I am back to my place and ready to get this love story going.

I am sorry if I butcher the Spanish phrases. I do not speak the language and I don't know how reliable google translate is so bear with me and correct me if I am wrong.