[secret #1]
I can't make friends so easily.
No, really. Apparently I look like a complete asshole when you first look at me, and if that's not intimidating enough I have a very crude sense of humor.
One where I talk about how much I want to kill myself and some people just take that to heart and introduce me to their uncles who are apparently psychiatrists and believe I have depression or something.
I have tons of free time and I don't enjoy meeting new people who think my sarcasm is a form of crying for help from the sad truth that this world is shit and I'll never be happy with myself no matter how many compliments I aim to get but never receive.
"Kinda want to order takeout for dinner...kinda just want to starve myself and go to sleep hoping I'd die the next morning." I informed to my best friend, Calum, through Skype while I looked at his stern face.
"Oh yeah?" He replied, not taking his eyes off the screen as he typed in beast mode. Seriously, he typed real fast.
I grabbed a few stale chips from a bag that has been inside my room for a week and ate them without a problem. "You're not listening."
"I'm sorry, Michael, I'm almost done fixing up my resume..."
"Yeah, yeah..." I pushed my x rocker chair back and spun myself a couple of times to heal the boredom. "Sooo...What are we doing tomorrow?"
Before he replied to me, he finished his work and went back to looking at his webcam. "We are doing nothing. I am going to the mall and apply to some places, alone."
"Why can't I come with you, again?"
"Because last time you stuck around during the whole interview and scared customers out with that glare of yours." He reminded me about the incident from two weeks ago. "I need to get a job, Michael, and I'm not trying to sound mean but...You're holding me back from this."
I smiled at him, finally stopping myself from throwing up from all the hardcore spinning. "Fine. I will allow you to go without me to the mall, but after you're done...Meet at my place and we can play some smash?"
"Deal." As soon as he sealed it, his mother called out that it was dinner time and that was the cue that he was about to leave me all alone. "I have to goー"
"I know. I know." I stopped him from explaining the situation and waited for him to give me one last smile through the screen before he hung up. "A home cooked meal every day...What a lucky guy..."
And here I was, eating stale chips from last week and thinking about wasting 20 bucks on crappy chow mein and dog meat disguised as orange chicken.
My dog, Lucy, suddenly whined at my decision as I reached for my cell phone to call the nearest Shitty Wok. "I know...I should probably become a vegetarian soon..."
After a small staring game with Lucy, she convinced me to not eat dinner after all and instead I took out my hunger by playing games on steam and listening to 80% ads and 20% crappy music on YouTube.
〜 I must of stayed up all night because by the time I was done making a 10 year old boy cry about losing our match online, I stood up to stretch and open a curtain to see the rising sun. "Oh man...I should of ordered Chinese food after all..."
Lucy was soundlessly asleep on my bed and I hated to wake her up from her doggy dreams but I still did it because she had to take a walk and pee outside otherwise she'd do it on the floor and I no longer had wee pads for her since I wasted that money on a new video game.
"C'mon girl, time for a walk..."
The gods of hells once again blessed me with their ruin since as soon as I walked out of my house, the Mormon of the street, Mr. Luke Hemmings, walked out of his home as well carrying a guy purse and wearing a stupid suit. "Goodmorning, Michael."
"Fuck off, Luke." I could not explain my hate for the guy, he never did anything wrong to me. He never did anything wrong to anyone! Maybe that's why I couldn't stand him so much.
"I'm off to pick up Calum so we could go job searching right now, care to join us?" He willingly ignored my comment and still tried to invite me to socialize with a person like him.
Wait a minute..."Calum?!"
"Yeah. He and I are heading to the mall just across the sports stadium, you know the one byー?"
"Yeah, shut your mouth. I'll go." I looked down to my feet to see Lucy taking a poop on Luke's front yard. "Just...give me a moment, yeah?"
"I'm supposed to be heading there right now...But okay, I'll wait for you, Michael." He smiled earnestly. "I'll go ahead and text him about it."
"No! Don't text him!" I knew why Calum asked dumbass Luke to go with him and didn't want me to tag along. Luke had a car...& he wasn't a total idiot like me when it came to important things like jobs and whatnot.
So I knew if Calum knew that I was going...He would kick me out of the car in front of a freeway exit and tell me to die.
Luke seemed confused as I hurriedly carried Lucy inside and grabbed my shit from my room before leaving in a hurry. "I won't clean that shit if that's what you're thinking by the way!"
〜 Luke drove quietly. Painfully silent. No music, nothing. I was in the backseat when I got closer to him to try to hear him breathe or something but no sounds were emitted out of his blonde ass. "Are you a fucking cyborg, dude?"
"P-Pardon..?" He tried laughing it off but I could tell he was sort of scared of me.
"You don't listen to music...You don't own a smart phone like the rest of the world does...What is that? A flip phone?!" I went ahead and grabbed the thing from his pocket and opened it up. "Jesus Christ, dude...You're such a fucking loser."
"My mother gave me that phone when she got a new one...I haven't thought about upgrading or anything, I mean it works so well already. I could call...I could text..."
"Yeah that's all you can do with that, buddy. What about nudes?!"
"Pardon..?"
"Nudes, dude!! Photos! What if you wanna send a girl a picture of your junk? Your phone doesn't even have a camera!"
We hit a stop sign and he embarrassedly took back his Nokia 200 B.C out of my hands. "W-Why would I wanna do that to a woman?!"
"Come on...You're such a freaking prude...How are you friends with Calum again?"
"His mother and mine are very good friends...We grew up together."
I looked at how red his ears were starting to get but couldn't figure out if it was because he was nervous or angry. "Right..."
Before I could tease him a little more we were already in front of Calum's, he was standing outside wearing something completely different than how he usually dresses. "Calum!"
Luke honked at him and he faced up from his phone to meet eyes with me. "God fucking damnit, Michael!"
"I'm excited for this, too."
"I told you, you couldn't come! You don't listen you little prick, you do whatever the hell you want, don't you?!" He began to lecture me while he got inside the car.
"I'm-I'm sorry, Calum...I invited him without knowing..." Luke blamed himself and I couldn't just let him do that on his own.
"Yeah, Luke totally pushed me to it. I was all 'No, Luke, I can't go. Calum doesn't want me to.' But he was holding a gun to my face, saying, 'Come on, you little slut. Get your ass inside' andー"
"Shut the hell up, Michael!" My best friend angrily gave up on the situation. "Luke, let's just go. Michael can stay in the car, I don't want him ruining your chances too."
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Calum." I tried to talk him through it but he just turned on the radio and ignored me for the rest of the ride. "Trust me..."
(at the mall)
"Alright, Luke, I'll head out north and you can take east, we can meet up back here in the food court after and maybe eat something, too." Calum was already making plans with him as we walked around inside the 3 floored shopping mall.
"What about me, Calum?!" I excitedly inquired to purposely piss him off.
"How about you go and choke on a dick, Michael. I told you not to come!"
I stayed silent for a moment just to process his request but he probably thought I was going to leave for real. "...I can pick which dick?"
"Fucking shit!"
"Uh, Calum..." Luke's tall ass got in between our personal space to try to hide. "There's...There's a couple of girls staring at us over there..."
Of course, Luke the shy boy. As if I couldn't hear enough about that in high school, girls everywhere talking about how 'handsome' and how 'cute' he was for being shy but really he was just a sad mormon who had no idea about the opposite sex and yet attracted tons of them wherever he goes.
"Dude, I'm pretty sure they're staring at you, not us." Calum tried to give him some confidence to go over and talk to them but I had a better idea...
"Hey, girls..." I cleared my throat and comfortably headed over to them to show Luke how it was done and for Calum to realize what I stud I could be and therefore also realize he's wasting time teaching Luke how to be social instead of praising me for my abilities.
All three of them were a fake blonde, all three of them looked like they could be Hispanic, so I went ahead and polished off my Spanish for them. "Tú eres muy bonita, pero tu cara es como un zapato, quieres ir a prepararme algo de comer?"
They all gasped but the one in the middle slapped me before taking their stuff and leaving me hanging. "I guess not?"
Some guy from the smoothie shack clapped his hands loudly and laughed in three different ways before speaking. "Good one! I haven't seen that kind of thing happen other than in tv!"
"Are you laughing at me, skinny dick?!" I went up to the counter to try to grab a hold of him but he surrendered and backed away into the kitchen.
"No, not at all. You're fucking hilarious, dude. What kind of insult is 'skinny dick'?!"
"I'm so sorry about my friend, he's....mentally handicapped." Calum and Luke held me back from trying to jump inside the kitchen to fight him. "Please don't call security."
"Ah, no...Its fine...Listen, I couldn't help but oversee that you guys are dressed up and holding resumes...Are you two looking for a job?"
"Yes..we are!" Luke excitedly let me go by accident and that caused Calum to push me aside so he could speak to the smoothie guy.
"Do you happen to know who's hiring?!"
"Uh...I am." The guy walked closer to the counter and shook their hands. "My name is Ashton, I'm the assistant manager of this place, what are your names?"
"I'm Luke Hemmings, sir."
"Calum Hood."
So-called-Ashton awaited for me to speak for some reason, "None of your business, bitch."
"Michael, go find a dick!" Calum kicked me to the ground again and pleaded me to leave with his eyes. "Don't fucking ruin this for me.."
"Hey, listen, I have an extra position available and I wouldn't mind having your friend take over if he were to just give me his name."
"Eat shit."
"Goddamn it, Michael! Michael, his name is Michael Clifford." Calum covered my mouth and had me struggling while Ashton smiled at us.
"Michael...Of course it is."
{otakuwaii: hey guys! Thanks so much for reading this first chapter and I know there's so much you're wondering and so much you don't understand but I promise all your questions will be answered as the story progresses!
also chapters will get longer , im gonna probably become addicted to writing this crappy story, oh and i hope none of u find it offensive i called luke a mormon its just for the sake of michael's personality itll all stop soon btw btw btw ily lemme suck dat toe
So bare with me, there's gonna be tons of romance and heartaches and bromances and funny shit happening. I can't wait!
I'm just wondering, who is your favorite ship from 5SOS?
I'm hardcore muke but I like me some lashton too xD see you guys next Tuesday! 11/22}
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