WHEN MALLORY WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING, Cole's absence struck her like a lightning bolt. She could feel it, his absence, like a palpable thing in the atmosphere. She stared at the ceiling for an hour, unable to muster up the motivation to get out of bed. But when she smelt Cole's crispy sunny side up, she found the motivation to.

Mallory slipped out of her room and followed the scent all the way to the kitchen. She had a million things she wanted to say to her father, a million sorrys to tell him. But she was disappointed when she saw that it wasn't her father in the kitchen, but Susan. Cole's 'my dad is the best cook', apron was fastened around her slim waist. She hummed as she stirred something in the pot, her humming possessing a musicality that was a charm on its own.

"What are you doing here?" Mallory snapped.

Susan turned. "Oh, you're up. I made breakfast. It'll be ready in a—"

"I don't want breakfast."

Susan paled.

The audacity she had to step into her father's house like she owned the place! Didn't she know she needed permission—Oh, Cole granted her the permission, didn't he? Not surprising. His love for Susan must be really blind for him to allow such a...thing into his house.

Susan sighed, still stirring "I thought it would be nice to fill in for Cole."

"He's okay? Can I speak to him?"

"Yeah," Susan said. "I thought we could eat breakfast together before heading to the hospital."

It was an attractive offer, but like many attractive offers, it led to the undoing of the person who took them. Not to be mistaken, Mallory's taste buds craved for a taste of the scrumptious meal Susan was preparing but doing that would be unwise, considering she didn't really trust this woman. Susan could poison her for goodness's sake.

"No thank you." Mallory proceeded for the exit of the kitchen. "I have somewhere else to go to anyway." That wasn't a total lie. She had practice at Starlight Academyu to go to anyway. That was more important than wasting time dining with someone that made her nerves pop.

Susan followed Mallory, the scent of the meal following her. "Aren't you interested in seeing Cole? He was really worried about you last night."

Susan's words transported her to last night to Cole, to the fall of his shoulders and the pooling of his eyes, and tremble of his lips, and the pitiful way he looked at her before he slumped to the ground. It all made her shiver. But she was still curious about what Cole had meant by all he said. I'm sorry Mal. I'm sorry I tried to save you from living the same fate as your mother...I'm sorry for adopting you. I wouldn't have if I knew I would cause you this much pain. What had he meant by all that? What wasn't he telling her?

Susan cut into her thoughts. "It's only appropriate to visit him. Postpone whatever you have to do."

Mallory sighed. The Starlight Academy is more important to me right now. Besides her father was okay. How much more consolation did she need after that.

But what was wrong with her, this was her father, not just a random somebody lying on the hospital bed. And she was choosing the starlight Academy over him? What was wrong with her? Was she insane?

Mallory turned to Susan. "Fine."

One breakfast couldn't hurt, now could it?

*****

"Mum, you suck at cooking. Anyone ever told you that?" Samantha voiced Mallory's thoughts when they were on their way to the hospital.

Susan shrugged. "It was fine to me. Mallory, what did you think?"

Mallory just looked outside the window, completely ignoring her. It was clear what Susan was doing. She was only being agreeable just so she could earn Mallory's approval for her to marry Cole. Unfortunately, Mallory wasn't keen on giving that to her.

When they reached the hospital, the urge to run back in the opposite direction overwhelmed Mallory. Whilst Susan was busy speaking to the receptionist, Mallory was busy conversing with many voices of insecurity. What exactly would she say to Cole? I'm sorry for trying to kill you? Maybe she'd made a mistake coming here in the first place.

"Mallory," Susan called, starling her. "Let's go."

Mallory leapt to her feet and followed Susan and a brunette nurse through a dimly lit hallway, its bulbs flickering eerily.

"He's been asking for the both of you all morning," the nurse said quietly as she stopped in front of a door. "But I'm afraid we can't let the both of you enter at the same time."

"Why?" Susan asked.

The nurse sighed. "A measure we implement here to avoid too much emotional stress to the patients."

Susan nodded, understanding. Mallory didn't

"Go in first Mallory." Susan nudged her head towards the door.

Mallory took a deep breath and stepped into the room. She wished she didn't. Cole lay on the stretcher with a gas mask tied to his face, colour drained from his face. He was gaunt-looking where he lay, and paler than she'd ever seen him.

Looking at Cole, helpless inspired tears in Mallory's eyes. She'd never considered that she was gradually losing Cole, that he was getting older and moving towards death day by day.

"Mallory," Cole said frailly, reaching out to her blindly.

Mallory quickly wiped her tears and rushed to him, flopping on a nearby stool beside the bed. She held his hand and pressed it to her lips, the abnormal coldness in it rousing more tears. "I'm here, dad it's okay."

He raked his fingers through her long hair. A tear slid down his face. Mallory bowed her head, unable to face her father in his helpless state. "Dad, I'm sorry about yesterday, I—"

"Don't apologize. Yesterday is long gone. I forgive you."

"Dad I can't lose you." Her voice hitched in her throat. Tears came streaming down her face. She pressed her hand into her face, trying to cease more tears from coming, but it was a futile attempt. She against her father's blanketed body and hugged him even tighter like it was the last hug she'd ever give him again. It might be, who knows?

Cole laughed. "I'm still alive baby girl. It was just a heart attack yesterday. Many people have heart attacks and they still live, don't they?"

Mallory sniffed against his chest, smiling slightly. "If I never went against your orders, none of this would be happening right now." She returned to her seat. "I'm such a foolish daughter. Look at what I did to you."

"I was having complications before you came home, Mal. I would've had a heart attack anyway."

But no matter how much Mallory kept blaming herself for the situation Cole was in now, Cole took her guilt onto himself, attributing his heart attack to how old he was, or to his unhealthy eating habits, and unexercised body. But despite all he said, Mallory was convinced it was all her fault. She shouldn't have challenged him the way she had.

Silence roofed Mallory, a silence she'd never experienced in the presence of Cole. But it was enough. Just holding on to his hand in silence was enough. It could've been worse at this point. She could've been crying over his coffin by now.

"All these years," Cole began talking again. "All these years of searching for that missing thing in my life, I finally found what I was missing yesterday in the face of death."

Mallory's head spiked. "Susan?" She could've puked over her name.

Cole laughed." You still don't like her do you?"

Mallory didn't respond.

"No it's not Susan baby," He said. "It's God."

Confusion beset Mallory. "God?."

Cole shook his head, his gaze rooted to the roof. Mallory caught a tear rolling down his ashen cheeks. ".And all these years I've been missing it, being ignoring Him when he wanted a say in my life. Oh God forgive me." He closed his eyes and raised his hands to the roof.

Mallory thought her father crazy, but to an extent, she could see sense in all he was saying. Cole had never been satisfied; he'd always been looking for that missing piece to complete the puzzle of his life. Searching for it in women, in remarrying, in playing the guitar, in money. And yes all those things might've brought Cole happiness. But every time Mallory looked into her father's sober eyes, she always saw his discontent. And now here he was again, saying all he was missing was God. Like He would bring him happiness.

"Do you remember all those verses I used to read to you every night when you were younger?"

Mallory's cheeks went red. "Yes."

"John 3:16. Recite it."

Mallory opened her mouth to protest but closed it back. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only God that whosoever may believe in him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

Cole laughed, adjusting on his bed. "That's how much God loves you Mal. And he always will love you, beyond my own love for you. And whenever I'm not here, you can turn to him. He's willing to listen to you."

A wave of sadness gushed past Mallory. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because when I'm gone—"

"You're not going anywhere." Mallory held on to his hand tighter. "You're not going anywhere."

"We're not going to be together forever Mal. I feel like the Lord is calling me home."

"How do you know that? Can you hear him calling you? He never talks."

Cole pressed his hand to his chest, "I feel it in my heart. It's like he's speaking to me in there. Too bad my days are numbered now."

Mallory sprung off the stool, mad at Cole for speaking about death so bluntly, embracing it even. Who embraces death for goodness sake? "Stop speaking like that dad! God would never be so cruel as to take you away from me. He wouldn't be." The tears again."I would never forgive him if he did such thing."

"Regardless of the many times, he forgave you? Humanity can be so selfish and self-seeking. Don't be like them Mal. I've been with you for many years, be kind enough to give me over to God."

Mallory's heart beat faster. God wasn't so cruel. He wouldn't do that. He would take her only father away from her, would he?

Mallory grabbed her jacket, ready to leave. If all he would do was speak about death, then she'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Where are you going?" Cole asked.

Mallory turned to him. "Starlight Academy. I'm sorry dad, I just can't bear it. I can't take it anymore. The way you speak of death is so—"

"You don't understand," Cole said.

I don't want to. "I've got to go to the starlight Academy. I have to leave now I'm late. William will be so mad at me."

Cole's eyes spiked. "Did you just say William?"

"Yeah, the overseer of the starlight Academy."

Cole shook his head, helping himself sit against the bed. There was an urgency in his eyes. "There's something you must know Mal, William is—"

"Not now Dad." She kissed his forehead. "We'll talk later. I have to leave now."

She hurried towards the door, but whilst she fiddled the doorknob, she heard her father's voice, loud and clear. "Don't get lost in your ambitions."

Mallory shut the door. Somehow she couldn't promise she wouldn't.