When she woke up, the sun was up, the bedside was empty, and he wasn't here. She breathed a sigh in relief. She looked at the bedsheet below to face her horror, the horror that took place last night. There was a blood stain on the bedsheet below. Last night wasn't a nightmare. She was Abdullah Khan's wife now in every sense of word. The statement itself made her nausea. Her head felt heavy, her body felt weak, and she couldn't walk straight. Self hate and disgust hit her. She couldn't believe how pathetic she was. She had literally sold her body to save her life.

Afshan...

He was a sweet boy. They met in sixth grade as they walked similar routes, her cycle punctured in the middle of the highway, and Afshan gave her a ride home. After that, it became a daily chore. She would bring sweets, and they would share it on the way home. She liked him. He was a sweet boy, well versed in poetry and manners. He never instigated things. It was her plan to run away. She thought they could outsmart the villagers, but alas, she failed. The pain in her heart remained as her throat clogged up. She didn't even get to say him a final goodbye.

He would carry story books with him. He wanted to explore the world with her, but he laid six feet under the ground. Her fingers trembled as she tried to control her laboured breathing, but it was hard to. Everything in the room reminded her of him, the flowers, the wedding dress thrown on the floor, and her eyes that searched for him.

She felt dead and alive. Weeping and laughing, the power of love came to her, but she was weak. She lost her lover and now she searched for the evening star to find the way back home. Because this wasn't her home...

This man wasn't her love.

She heard a shower sound, she didn't move uncaring of her nakedness as he exited the bathroom, the price had been paid. She would live in this hell, all alone.

He exited the shower, and she didn't look at him lost in her thoughts, but he did. He didn't get a proper look at her body, and she realised he was looking at her. Her eyes met his, and he saw the sorrow in her eyes. She was present with him in the room, but her thoughts had taken her somewhere far.

She grabbed the sheet from the bed and stood up, covering her body with it.

"Where are my clothes?" She asked as she went towards the bathroom, "Your luggage is in the car."

She turned around, securing the bedsheet properly around her bust, walking towards the main door. He stopped her by holding her elbow. She stopped in her tracks and tried to get her arms free. But she couldn't. He held it with one hand, and she felt her hatred coming through. Was he showing off his strength? She didn't like it one bit. His attitude, his non chalance, and his touch.

She made up the entire scenario in her head. If this had been Afshan, he would have brought her luggage inside. Woke her up to a tasty breakfast and kissed her cheeks to wake her up. Not that she wanted or expected anything of Abdullah, but she didn't like the fact that all of this was based down to sexual.

"You can't leave like this," he said, glancing at her clothes. She couldn't help but glare at him. His eyes had an intensity to them, his wet hair stuck to his forehead, and he smelled of dettol. She twisted her arms, but it was of no use. She wanted to cry at this point.

"Wasn't last night's humiliation enough for you?" There was a vulnerable look in her eyes. She was already tired of all these unnecessary rules. She felt like an object. The logical part in her brain knew that wearing a bedsheet was the issue. But she didn't want to listen to that. It was his job to bring the luggage, he didn't do that, and she didn't want to ask favours of him.

"Listen, there are Jahangir Shaikh's men outside keeping guard, and the bedsheet you are wearing has blood in it, it's not hygienic to wear it", Maheen realised what he meant, but she was dirty in whole, there was blood on her thighs and it was her blood.

"That's why I have to get my clothes!"

She tried to sidestep him, but he didn't budge. Instead, he held her shoulders, "Listen, you are not a kid. You are an adult woman, I don't have to explain you some basic etiquettes", the way he said it made her enraged, she pushed at his chest making him walk backwards as she stalked towards him, "Woman? I was in high school, not a day ago, I am barely eighteen. You f**cked a kid, you disgusting-", he covered her mouth with his hand.

"The same kid who wanted to marry a man, kids don't run away from homes or do they?" He questioned. She realised he was far too close to her, and then she liked his arms around her waist, holding her loosely. His brown eyes were on her face trying to read her expression, his face inches away from hers, she could feel his soft breathing, she coud hear his heart beating.

"I love that man, and I would prefer being married to him than you!"

He turned her around too fast, her breath hitched, and as she looked into the mirror, he let his chin rest on her shoulder, his grip on her waist tightening. She could everything through the thin sheets, his warms around her waist, his erection pressing against her back, his arms around hers, his legs touching hers and his stubble on her naked skin. It tickled her, and she didn't like the ways he used to overpower her, "You're a brat," he whispered in her ears.

Her eyes shot lasers as he glared at him. She might die today because of rage. Did she deserve all this? Her life was a mess. The man she loved was murdered and now she stood in the arms of the very man who had held her back from running towards Afsan's body.

She let her body go, stopping her resistance completely. What was the use of fighting now? When she had let this man use her body last night. Her eyes closed as she fought back a sobb, the tears clogging her throat. She lost everything, her love, her dignity, and her rights.

What was she in his eyes?

A weak woman? A burden?

She had no idea, but they way he handled her, the words he uttered made her feel shame as a woman.

"I hate you..."The overwhelming emotions, the sob finally broke out, and waterworks began. Her shoulders shook as she closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him, to look at her getting weak.

She was breaking...

Falling apart...

She hated him, she hated this life, she hated what happened with her, but the person she hated the most was herself.

Afshan was strong. He stood his ground, lied to protect her, and lost his life. He didn't budge, but what kind of lover was she? The tears weren't stopping. They fell  one by one.

"Crybaby, Maheen, you're a crybaby,"

And they were right, as a kid, she would blame others for losing at ludo and start crying. She would start crying at the simplest things, but this matter was no simple. It was too complicated and hurtful. She still was unable to process everything. Her world was falling apart, and she was breaking.

Abdullah didn't acknowledge her tears. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, and a part of her was glad that he held her. She didn't care how he viewed her. She was always weak.

She was crying in the arms of the man who let it all happen.

"Leave", that was enough for him to hear, he didn't say anything more. His arms became loose, and he let her stand there. She closed her eyes. Not wanting to face him, he was her enemy she had to remind herself. He was a killer...

The door shut after him, and Maheen crumbled to the floor.

Maheen lay on the floor, the weight of her sorrow pressing down on her like a heavy stone. She felt hollow, drained of any strength to carry on. The memories of Afshan flooded her mind, each one a painful reminder of what she had lost. She wished she could turn back time, undo the events that led her to this moment.

But there was no going back. She was trapped in a nightmare of her own making, with Abdullah Khan looming over her like a dark shadow. She couldn't bear to think of what the future held in store for her.

Slowly, she dragged herself up from the floor, her body feeling heavy and numb. She needed to find a way out of this hell, away from Abdullah, away from the memories that haunted her every waking moment.

With shaky hands, she collected her scattered thoughts and made a decision. First, to stop letting her weakness consume her and second to stop giving Abdullah a reaction. 

___

Short chapter❣️

I will try to update everyday or atleast alternate days: