Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Making a List...

Chapter 1

Gray walked into his dorm building, slamming the door behind him in disgust. Just what in the hell was he supposed to do now? Stupid Lyon, how could his own brother change plans on him at the very last minute? He wasn't even allowed to stay in his room over break, and everyone he knew had already left town to be with their families for the holidays.

He entered his room and stared at his suitcase, already packed on his bed and sighed. He'd have to fork over a lot of money to stay in a cheap motel. What a lovely Christmas he was going to have. He grabbed his suitcase and locked his room. He decided to head over to the coffee shop around the corner and consider his options.

Gray was sulking at a table when he heard a voice he hadn't expected order a Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha from the barista. He looked up to make sure and saw the rather distinctive pink hair of his friend. Could it be that Natsu had nowhere to go either?

Gray had been trying for months to figure out how to ask Natsu out, but whenever he tried it was a disaster. For years they'd had this ridiculous rivalry, and it was just ingrained into most of their interactions to bicker or rile each other up. Not exactly conducive to romance, but Gray could not deny that beyond the obvious attraction, at least on his side, there was more.

Natsu could be thoughtful, loyal, and funny. Just not with Gray so much, and he didn't know how to change that. Before he'd had a chance to come up with a plan of action Natsu had already noticed him and headed toward his table. He plopped himself in the chair across from him.

"So, what are you still doing here?" Natsu asked as he sipped the drink that most people would have considered scalding with nary a reaction. "I thought Lyon was picking you up."

"So did I," Gray complained, "It turns out he wasn't able to get the time off, and he forgot to let me know because he was," and here Gray brought his hands up in air quotes, "too busy to bother."

"Oh, that sucks," Natsu replied and took another sip of his drink while studying his friend curiously, "What are you going to do?"

"Hell if I know, I was looking up motels, but they're either full or expensive as fuck." Gray looked at the search results on his phone in frustration.

"Well, there's no need for you to shell out cash," Natsu shrugged, "You can crash on my futon if you want."

"Wait, really?" Gray's heart sped up at all the opportunities he might have to make Natsu see him differently. Winter was his best season. Gray loved everything about it, ice skating, snow, long nature walks followed by large mugs of hot cocoa with tiny marshmallows.

Christmas was his favorite holiday as well. He loved doing all the holiday stuff, and he was feeling very thankful at the moment to not have to spend such a big holiday by himself. This would be the first Christmas without Ur, and he'd been really pissed at Lyon that he hadn't seen fit to spend it with him.

"Sure, I'll be working most of the time, but you're welcome to stay. Happy will be glad to have the company," Natsu noticed the suitcase next to Gray's chair and stood up,

"We can go now if you want."

"Working?" Gray repeated with disappointment, "What about Christmas?"

"What about it?" Natsu looked at Gray with confusion, "I don't celebrate it, but it's a great time to get overtime hours." Misunderstanding Gray's reaction he quickly added,

"I could probably set you up with some hours if you needed money for next semester."

"You don't celebrate Christmas?" Gray was crestfallen. No movie marathons, no tree trimming, no baking...nothing? "Is it a religion thing?"

Natsu laughed, "I'm not religious at all. I grew up in an orphanage Gray, we were lucky to be fed and have clothes that fit. I've never celebrated it, so it's never been a big deal."

Gray followed his friend out of the coffee shop and to his apartment which was only a few blocks away. He didn't know why, but it bothered him to know that Natsu had never experienced any of the things that they all took for granted. Gray wanted to change that, to show Natsu what a magical experience the holidays could be. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that this would be the way to show Natsu how he felt about him.

Natsu opened the door and let Gray inside, his Maine Coon cat Happy coming out of what looked to be the living room to investigate. Gray knelt down to let the cat sniff his fingers and scratched behind his ears once Happy seemed comfortable with him. Natsu walked towards the kitchen and began opening drawers and rummaging through them.

"Here!" Natsu said triumphantly, "I knew I had one." He held up a key and looked very proud of himself. He handed it over to Gray. "Now you can get in and out easily, just make sure Happy doesn't get out."

Gray thanked him, added the key to his keychain and put it back in his jeans pocket. Natsu smiled at him for a minute, and then looked around his apartment.

"Hmm let's see, I should give you the tour." Natsu pointed to where he had been a minute ago. "That's the kitchen obviously." He led them further into the apartment, which was not very large.

"Here's the living room." It had a large television and some older gaming consoles sitting on the bottom of a coffee table. "You can play whatever games you want, I usually get them used at Gamestop." He pointed at the only other piece of furniture in the room. "That's the futon I was telling you about. It's pretty comfortable, I've fallen asleep on it a bunch of times, and you can flatten it into a bed like this." Natsu showed him how to work the mechanism and opened a drawer underneath to show him a set of clean bedsheets, blankets, and a pillow before continuing. Past the living room was a hallway with several doors.

"You can probably use the coat closet for your clothes, I don't really use it," Natsu pointed him to a narrow door on the right. "The door on the left is the bathroom, and the one at the end of the hall is my bedroom. That's pretty much it, I usually eat at the coffee table or on one of the stools over by the kitchen counter. It's not much, but it's home." Natsu smiled, and Gray watched, transfixed. They'd been together for at least thirty minutes and had not bickered once yet. He wasn't about to point it out though.

"I have work in an hour, so I have to get going but help yourself to any food you want, I'll buy some groceries on the way home. Are you allergic to anything?" Natsu asked him.

Gray shook his head. "Ok, well I'll see you later," Natsu waved goodbye stopping for a second to pet Happy before checking on his food and water.

"Hey, Natsu?" Gray blurted out. Natsu looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"No problem, it would be stupid for you to waste a ton of money when I have room." He dazzled Gray with one of his bright smiles before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Well, that had gone reasonably well, it looked like his luck was changing for the better for once. Gray found the TV remote and sat down on the futon, channel surfing until he saw a Christmas movie he liked. Happy jumped on the futon and head-butted his hand aggressively, asking for pets and settling on his lap once Gray had complied.

Gray looked around the small apartment trying to find any mementos that would tell him more about his friend. There were very few pictures on display, and they were mostly group shots of all their friends. Gray spotted himself in a few. There was one picture where he only recognized a younger looking Natsu. He was standing in front of a building with five other boys and a younger girl. Gray picked it up and studied it intently. This must have been at the orphanage.

What must that have been like? Gray had been lucky that his Aunt Ur had taken him and Lyon in after their parents died. What had even happened to Natsu's parents? He'd known Natsu was an orphan, but he was ashamed to realize that even after all these years of being friends he still knew very little about him.

Gray thought about what kinds of things he could do with Natsu that would introduce him to Christmas. He was sad, his thoughts full of Ur and Christmases past. He decided he would make a list of his favorite activities and try to do them all with Natsu, and hopefully by the end of it manage to ask him out like he wanted. Gray opened his suitcase and unpacked, putting his clothes in the small closet and making sure to not make a mess in his friend's tidy home.

He found a notepad and a pen attached to the refrigerator by a magnet and grabbed them. He put the pen in his mouth and nibbled on it as he thought about what things he wanted to include. He began to write, the pen moving quickly as he added more and more things until he was satisfied.

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1. Christmas Baking - December 20th

Gray looked down at his list. The first item was Christmas Baking. Now granted, he'd only ever helped with the decorating, but he was in college - how hard could whipping up a batch of cookies be? Gray had all of the Internet at his disposal. He brought up a browser window on his phone and swiped in 'easy Christmas cookies'. He was excited to find a cinnamon one with only four ingredients, and they looked beautiful. Perfect!

First step, go into the kitchen and make sure Natsu had the necessary ingredients. He found the pantry and looked down at the ingredient list on his phone: flour, salt, cinnamon. Check, check and check. He could just use water from the tap.

Gray started singing to himself as he opened cabinets to look for the supplies he would need to make the cookies.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need

He found the cookie sheets in the drawer under the oven and pulled them out. Bowls were in the cabinets, and when he explored the drawers, he was able to locate measuring spoons and even some cookie cutters, although they weren't very Christmassy. He chose a few shapes -- star, heart, cat, and his biggest score a gingerbread girl and boy. Things were working out great.

I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

He looked down at the instructions and remembered to wash his hands before getting started. He measured out the ingredients and combined them, kneading them together until a dough formed. It had a lovely brown color, and after admiring it for a moment, he wrapped the bowl in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. He cleaned up his mess as he waited for the thirty minutes to be up.

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know

He preheated the oven to 250° F and found a rolling pin. Come to think of it Natsu was rather well prepared for a college guy living on his own. Wasn't he an art student?

Gray rolled out the dough and used the cookie cutters to cut out the shapes, lifting the cookies carefully and placing them on the cookie sheet. Once he had them all ready, he put them in the oven. Bake cookies for two hours. Two hours seemed like a really long time but what did he know? He set a timer and went off to watch another movie while they baked, visions of Natsu's happy face when he came home from work making him

smile in anticipation.

Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is you

Gray must have dozed off cause he woke up to the wonderful smell of cinnamon permeating the apartment. He heard a key turning in the lock and got up to help, remembering Natsu had mentioned getting groceries.

"I'm home," Natsu called out as he kicked the door closed behind him. He was carrying several bags, and Gray quickly grabbed two of them.

"Oh, hey. There you are," Natsu greeted and entered the kitchen putting the bags on the counter. He looked at the items drying on his rack and grinned. "Is that cinnamon I smell? I love cinnamon!"

He peeked in the oven and Gray could see his brow furrow. "Gray, how long have those been in the oven?"

Gray peeked at the timer and said, "They have about ten minutes left so about an hour and fifty minutes."

He could see Natsu was trying not to laugh and got mildly annoyed. "What's so funny?"

"Where did you get the recipe from?" Natsu asked, ignoring his question.

"The internet, why?" Gray was getting more annoyed, this was not going at all the way he'd imagined.

"Can I see it?" Natsu asked, and Gray obliged, showing him the page he'd gotten the recipe from. Natsu started to laugh in earnest now.

"Did you even read it?" Natsu managed in between bursts of laughter.

"Sure, it said easy cinnamon cookies," Gray answered matter-of-factly.

"These aren't edible," Natsu explained patiently.

"What the hell do you mean they're not edible?" Gray growled angrily, "I worked hard on those, and you haven't even tried them. They smell delicious."

"No, Gray, they're not meant for eating," Natsu pointed to the instructions further down on the page, "You made Christmas Ornament Cookies, you dumbass. Didn't you think it was odd that they had to bake for so long at such a low temperature?"

Gray's face flushed with embarrassment, this was not going at all the way he'd envisioned, and now he looked like an idiot in front of his crush. "How was I supposed to know, I'd never baked anything before," he said heatedly.

Natsu must have realized these meant more to Gray than he'd let on because he stopped teasing him, and when the timer went off he took the cookies out of the oven and put them on a cooling rack. He had a thoughtful look on his face.

"How do you know so much about this stuff anyway?" Gray grumbled, still feeling a fool.

"That would be because I'm a culinary student."

"I thought you were an art major."

"I'm both."

"Oh." Another thing to add to the list of things Gray didn't know about Natsu.

"I brought some pizza from work, let's eat!" Natsu chirped, "That should give us just enough time."

"Time for what?" Gray asked curiously.

"For the cookies to cool down. You worked hard on these, we might as well decorate them. I have some art supplies we can use."

They spent the rest of the evening decorating the cookies, even drawing dicks and boobs on the gingerbread people as they laughed hysterically, each trying to outdo the other. It didn't go the way he had expected, but Gray couldn't count it as a loss. Especially when Natsu had directed more smiles at him in one night than he had in all the years they'd known each other.

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2. Watching Christmas Movies with Lyon and Ur - December 21st

The following evening Gray sat on the futon channel surfing again. He found Home Alone was about to start and settled in to watch. He'd watched that one with Ur and Lyon, it was one of their yearly traditions since he and Lyon had been little.

Natsu had been gone all day, having been offered a double shift. Gray had already eaten, not sure when Natsu was going to return. He went in search of a snack, making some microwave popcorn and grabbing a beer from the fridge before sitting back down again. Happy had shadowed him all day, taking several naps on him as he played video games.

Gray was halfway through the movie and his second beer when the apartment door opened and a tired looking Natsu walked in. He perked up a little when he saw Gray and walked over to him.

"Whatcha watching?" Natsu looked at the TV with interest, "Oh hey, is this the one about the kid that pulls all those awesome pranks on the robbers? I like this one, it's hilarious!"

Natsu didn't wait for an answer, he sat down next to Gray on the futon and grabbed some popcorn, throwing it in the air and catching it in his mouth. Gray didn't even look at him. Ever since the movie had started, he'd been overwhelmed by unexpected sorrow. It had finally hit him, Ur was gone, and she was never coming back. Christmas would never be the same, and he couldn't even count on Lyon. He was alone. Gray's eyes welled with tears that he thought he was done with.

"Gray?" Natsu asked with concern, "What's wrong? This movie is supposed to be funny, not sad."

When Gray didn't answer Natsu put his arm around his shoulders and let him cry quietly, holding him against him with one arm while rubbing Gray's back in slow circles with the other. Natsu went to change the channel, but Gray protested wanting to watch the movie all the way through one last time. Natsu didn't ask any more questions and watched it with him, but Gray could see the concern in his eyes.

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3. Sledding - Long walks to look at decorations and get some hot cocoa - December 22nd

Gray was not happy with how the whole movie watching debacle had gone. It had been on his list, but that was not at all how it was supposed to have gone. They were supposed to have laughed and had fun together. Instead, he had once again made a fool of himself in front of Natsu, and although he had gotten cuddles out of it, those were not righteous cuddles. They were pity cuddles, and that was unacceptable.

Natsu had told him he was getting out early today, so Gray decided to wait for him outside of Walmart where he worked. He'd determined that maybe it was time to try one of the outdoor traditions. Gray would take Natsu sledding, something he'd done for hours with Lyon. Then he would take him to their coffee shop for some coffee or hot cocoa.

Gray was delighted with his plan, he'd gone online to look for a good sledding hill in the area and had been surprised to learn that there was a small ski resort only a few miles away. He whistled to himself as he waited and even put a five dollar bill in the local Food Bank collection box.

Soon Natsu came out of the large store, and Gray called out to him.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Natsu asked looking surprised but also pleased to see him.

"I thought we could do something fun today," Gray explained, smiling excitedly.

Natsu looked at him and chuckled, "Should I be concerned?"

"No, this is gonna be great!" Gray beamed, "Let me call an Uber."

"An Uber?" Natsu looked nervous, but Gray paid no mind, "Can't we just walk wherever we're going?"

"No, the place we're going is miles away," Gray already had the app open and was plugging in the information. "Oh great, they'll be here in like five minutes."

"Gray, I need to go inside to get something, okay?"

"Nonsense, it'll be here any minute," Gray said while scouting the parking lot for the car described. "Oh wait, I think that's it. Come on!"

Gray grabbed Natsu by the arm and dragged him behind him ignoring all of Natsu's pleas and nearly pushing him into the waiting vehicle.

The trip was thankfully short. Natsu was quiet the whole ride, and Gray was worried that his friend might be angry, but then he noticed that Natsu was covering his mouth and he seemed to be trying to look out the window.

Gray paid for the ride from his phone as Natsu exploded out of the car holding his stomach and breathing shallowly. As soon as he got himself under control, he did look angry.

"What's wrong with you?" Gray asked concerned that Natsu looked sick.

"What's wrong with me?" Natsu screeched, "What's wrong with you? I was trying to tell you I get motion sickness in cars, but you wouldn't listen."

"Oh, god! I'm so sorry, Natsu," Gray gazed at his friend feeling terrible, "I was just so excited... Is there anything I can do?" Stupid! He berated himself.

"I'll be fine in a few minutes, the cold air helps," Natsu muttered grudgingly as he scolded, "But you really should listen to people when they're trying to tell you something."

Natsu looked at the area they were in with interest. "So what are we doing here?"

"I was going to take you sledding," Gray admitted sheepishly, "But I'm guessing you can't do that."

"I don't know, I've never tried. I might be able to if I took some medicine." Natsu bit his lip thoughtfully, and Gray couldn't help but watch, his own lips aching at the sight. "I'd like to go sometime though. Raincheck?"

"Okay." Gray smiled at Natsu, trying to hide his disappointment as best he could, "Want to get some hot cocoa or something?"

"Sure!" Natsu gave Gray one of his beaming smiles as they walked towards the line that was full of parents attempting to control their cold, petulant children. Gray didn't even notice them, he was too busy talking to Natsu.

They got their hot cocoa and walked around a bit until they found an information sign. Natsu studied it with interest, and suddenly he grabbed Gray's arm excitedly as he almost bounced on his heels. "Look, Gray! It says there's a nature trail. Wanna go check it out since we're already here? There could be animals!"

Gray had no real desire to go on a nature hike at the moment, especially considering they would more than likely be stuck walking back to town, but there was no way he could say no to the childlike excitement in Natsu's eyes.

"Catch me if you can!" Natsu grinned as he called out a challenge, dashing towards the path's entrance as fast as he could.

You're not even dating, and he already has you whipped! Gray chastised himself, already chasing after Natsu. Then again, it's not like he really cared. Natsu was intoxicating, and getting to spend all this time with him getting to know him better was more than worth it. Besides, they could come sledding another time when Natsu was prepared, and hey, a long walk was on his list.

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4. Gingerbread houses with ^spiked eggnog - December 23rd

It had been an impulse buy at the grocery store when he went to buy coffee. Gingerbread house kits had been on sale two for one and Gray had not been able to resist. There were just too many memories associated with the activity, and before he knew what he was doing, he'd bought two and had scoured through what was left of the candy aisle.

Gray didn't even know why he bothered with these every year. He could barely get the damn house to stay put together and even when he did, he never ate it. But there was something so compelling about designing a house entirely out of candy, not to mention the fun he had bickering with Lyon and Ur about who got to use what.

He opened the kit and took out all the pieces, pausing to read the instructions. Ur had made the gingerbread and the frosting from scratch every year while he and Lyon had been tasked with picking the candy. They'd go to the store together while Ur baked and argue over which kind to get, eventually coming home with an assortment like the one that was laid out on Natsu's coffee table. Each candy bought was an experience gained from previous trial and error.

Gray contemplated with satisfaction the almost obscene amount of candy he'd purchased - Twizzlers, nonpareils, gummies, M&M's, Hugs, Kisses, candy canes, bubble gum, peppermints... the list went on and on. He'd also gotten some cereal, an assortment of pretzel shapes and a ridiculous amount of frosting. Gray doubted Natsu would want to do this with him, even though he'd bought him a kit, but it was something Gray needed to do. A part of him was still desperate to keep Ur with him. Maybe Natsu would at least keep him company just to steal the candy. Natsu had always had a ridiculous sweet tooth.

He'd come to accept that Natsu really wasn't into the Christmas stuff, but he at least hadn't complained about spending time together, no matter how tired he was from working so many hours.

Gray got up to get some bowls for the cereal and pretzels as well as a spatula for the "glue." He found some scissors and grabbed those as well to help him open all the packages, remembering how in previous years candy had exploded out of its bag when he or Lyon had tried to open them regularly. He was still fighting with getting the panels to stick together when Natsu arrived.

"What a day!" Natsu sighed as he closed the door behind him. He looked beyond exhausted. "Every day people are getting more desperate, and ruder."

"Something happen?" Gray asked only half listening as he kept applying more frosting to his walls in yet another attempt to get them the stay up.

"Yeah, this guy was threatening my friend Cana cause we were out of stock on some toy he wanted for his kid." Natsu was in the kitchen looking for something in the cabinets. "Can you believe he actually accused her of hiding one for herself?" Natsu shook his head. "He even shoved her, demanding she find him one."

Gray looked up at that. "Seriously?"

"Yep, so I introduced him to my fist," Natsu informed him with no regret whatsoever.

"Oh shit, man! Did you get fired?"

"Nah, the manager made a big show of reprimanding me, but once we were in the break room, he told me he would've done the same thing," Natsu smiled. "Cana gave me this before I left." Natsu showed Gray the large bottle he was holding.

"What's that?" Gray looked at the bottle curiously.

"Homemade eggnog, apparently she's famous for it. You want some?" Natsu offered, and Gray accepted a cup. He loved eggnog.

"Woah, this is spicy!" Gray commented as he took a big gulp.

"Spicy?" Natsu raised an eyebrow before taking a drink. "Damn! You weren't kidding, this stuff is good. I wonder what she puts in it."

They drank the whole bottle in about half an hour while trying to make gingerbread houses. When Gray's house fell for the tenth time, he gave up. The entire thing was covered in frosting, but no matter what he did it kept collapsing.

Natsu laughed so hard at the dejected expression on Gray's face he fell off the futon, the M&M he'd been about to eat flying out of his hand and landing in the wall of frosting. Gray looked at it and stood the wall up again - the M&M had stuck and for some reason that struck him as funny. He laughed and laughed until tears streamed out of his eyes.

Natsu grabbed a handful of M&M's and threw them at the frosting on the other sections trying to get them to stick. "This is fun! Come on, try it."

Gray laughed good-naturedly as he watched Natsu play his game. "I give up," he said, his words beginning to slur.

Natsu looked at him in confusion, "On the house? It's not that bad. If you get a paper towel we can wipe it down and start over. I think that frosting needs to go in the fridge for a while though. It's just goop at this point."

"No no, on Christmas. It's just never going to be the same now that she's gone and Lyon doesn't care." Gray's shoulders slumped, and he took a piece of paper out of his pocket. He crumpled it and threw it at the wastebasket missing by a comfortable margin.

Natsu looked uncomfortable, but he bravely asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah, it's fine. It's late, and you should probably get to bed for work tomorrow." Gray waved him away, "I'll clean this up tomorrow. By the way, I think that eggnog was spiked with something."

"Of course it was, didn't I say Cana made it?" Natsu snorted, before remembering that Gray had no idea who Cana was. He peered over to see that Gray had already fallen asleep. He checked to make sure his friend was on his side and began to clean up the mess they'd made.

Natsu picked up the wadded piece of paper off the floor and was about to put it in the trash when he remembered how sad Gray had looked and decided to open it instead. He pored through Gray's messy scrawl.

Perfect Christmas

 1. Christmas Baking
 2. Trim the tree
 3. Watching Christmas movies with Lyon and Ur
 4. Sledding with Lyon
 5. Gingerbread houses with Lyon and Ur
 6. Shopping for presents
 7. Ice skating?
 8. Singing Christmas carols
 9. Long walks to look at decorations then home for Ur's hot cocoa

10. Looking at Christmas lights
11. Wearing stupid ugly sweaters
12. Kissing Natsu under the mistletoe

Fucking Lyon, how could he abandon Gray like this? Doesn't he know how much Gray is hurting?

Natsu fumed, reading down the list a second time and trying to ignore the racing of his heart at number twelve. He was still having trouble accepting that Gray was interested in him, even though he himself had been pining for a while.

He made up his mind and took the list as well as Gray's phone with him to his bedroom. He mirrored the gesture he had seen Gray use to unlock his phone a million times and was soon in his Contacts list. He scrolled down until he found the number he was looking for and smirked when he saw it was listed under Cold Emperor.

The phone rang a few times before it was picked up by a very sleepy sounding Lyon.

"Gray? Why are you calling me so late?" Lyon asked groggily.

"Now listen to me you cold bastard, what the hell is wrong with you?" Natsu yelled into the phone.

"Natsu? Is that you?" Lyon sounded more confused than angry.

"Yeah, it's me," Natsu spat out angrily. "We have some things to discuss."