(15 years old)

"Cassie, baby, I need ya to watch ya little brothers while ya daddy and I go get this..."

A loud but low growl appears on this man's face before she goes on.

"I mean, uh...go to the movies. We going to see that new love movie they got there."

I hope she knows that's not my daddy and that I have a life too. I'm fifteen so I'm a teenager. What teen don't want space and don't want to live their life?

"Momma, can't you get Uncle Robbie to do it? My friend got a party going on tonight. You said I could go a long time ago, Ma!"

I told her months ago when I found out about it. Hell, I helped plan the damn party. It's gonna be crazy and everybody gonna be lit, doing stupid shit. I wanna be there for it. Why Momma playing with me like this?

Ever since I was five years old, I been playing 'Momma' to five little boys while my momma been bouncing that ass for all these guys. Not for free, of course.

"Cassie, you know the boys don't like him. He do too much around them. Also, he went out of town right after we asked him. I can-"

"Come on, bitch! Time is money!" My 'daddy' calls from the driver seat of the car. His growl is so low it could send an earthquake through the neighborhood.

Momma looks back at him, in fear, and turns back to me with a quickness. She's fucking shaking and I'm worried.

"Look, I promise I'll make it up to you, okay? Just do this for-"

"Momma, you said that last time. When will I get to enjoy my life? When will it be my time to have fun?"

Her face of begging turns to a face of disappointment and frustration so fast. My back straightens and I quickly fix my face before she beats my ass...

Or worse. Gets my 'daddy' to.

"You know what, when you turn 18, pay some fucking bills, and get your own shit, you can have 'your turn'. If ain't nobody told you anything, I'mma tell you now. Don't nobody get what they want around here unless I say so because I'm the damn momma!"

My eyes widen as she keeps ranting and getting loud.

"Hell, I even hope for a day where it's MY turn. When will I get to be on top? When will I be happy again? When will I get to get off the damn streets and live my best life? Go on vacation? See new things?"

My heart breaks, listening to my momma rant and rave about her problems. She fixes her wig and takes in a deep breath and says "See, baby? Nobody gets what they want. Nobody gets their turn. It ain't fair...but it's life."

I'm still pissed off but I ain't gonna say anything. If I open my mouth anymore than I've already done, I may not even see tomorrow.

A loud horn blares and breaks the tension between my momma and me. The look on his face just screams evil and demented. Momma has to go.

"Anyway, watch ya brothers. You'll be alright. I'll see ya later and if you try anything, ya know it's gonna go down."

Off Momma rushes to her pimp in her silver glittery stiletto heels and I'm stuck at the house with a broken heart, fear, and no chance of making it to the party.

And to top this shit off, she teases us by blowing a goodbye kiss to us before hopping in the car and driving off.

Oooh, she do too much. Why do I have to miss out on a good time because my momma runs the streets with a damn fool? Why do I have to pay for my momma's consequences and she ain't gotta do shit? Like, that makes me mad on some real shit.

I didn't have these babies. None of these boys came out of me; they came out of her. As a momma, ain't she supposed to show love and care to her kids? Ain't she responsible for the kids she pushed out? So, how did I become my brothers' keeper?

Fuck all that 'you gotta be there for family' shit. That whole 'you in charge because you the big sister' type shit. I don't care. I ain't choose to be a big sister; she made me one. Who's fault is that? Like, for real?

"CASSIEEEEE! Donny punched me in my eye-"

"Well, stop touching my shit, Damien! Damn!"

"I ain't touch nothing! Don't nobody want what you got! You ain't even got anything!"

I'm so sick of this shit.

All these two do is argue all day and they twins. Aren't they supposed to feel what the other one is feeling or something like that? These two are a different pair. They supposed to be 13 but act like they three.

"Watch ya damn mouth, Donovan. Y'all need to chill before I lose it. Just separate or something. I don't know." I throw myself onto the couch and cut on the tv just to ease my mind.

I'm too mad to even say anything else because I got my mind on that damn party. I got this beautiful red dress that falls just above my knees, it has sequins and shows a little chest, and the red pumps my momma gave me would've completed the whole thing. I had everything planned to a T and I was gonna be the finest thing in the room.

"What's up with you, Cass? Why you so mad?" Donovan throws himself beside me and looks at me like he wanna know what's up.

I sigh and roll my eyes while saying "Momma got me here watching y'all again when she knew I had plans tonight. She always do this and I'm sick of it. Can't wait till I turn 18, bro."

It got quiet for a while and Donny got up off the couch. Some model contest is showing but I don't care about it. As much as I try to get this off my mind, it's not going away. Maybe I should listen to some music or something.

As soon as I get up to go to my room, here comes Donny with smirk on his face like he done did something. Now, I'm nosey.

"Go do ya thing, sis. I got us. Momma don't come back until the afternoon anyway," Donny says as he pats me on the back.

What the hell is he up to?

Damien shakes his head, eyes widen in fear, and slides over to me just to whisper in my ear "Cassie, don't do this. If you leave, Donny might hit me and-"

"Not if ya keep them nasty ass hands to yourself, I won't. Don't think I can't hear you, bro."

Donny walks closer to me, throws his arm over my shoulder, and says "Cassie, you always take care of us. Let us do the same for you. Go have fun and we'll make sure everything's cool here. If we need ya, we know how to reach ya."

"Cassie, no! You remember the last time we didn't listen to Momma? If you leave Daddy will mess us up. They'll be so mad that...well..."

Damien looks away in shame and I follow suit, thinking about what happened to me, Donovan, and Damien that day. Donovan couldn't move for a whole day. He was on bedrest because they tore him up so bad. Damien got sent to the hospital and nobody suspected a thing. I got my ass handed to me because I was supposed to be the 'responsible' one. My ass got cooked with the belt. Things ain't been the same since.

However, Damien ain't the greatest liar. You can just look at him and he'll tell everybody's secrets and shit. He ain't trustworthy. We give that award to Donny because you can put him up under a microscope and he wouldn't say shit. This is why I'm trusting his judgment right now. He's never snitched on me before.

Never has and, hopefully, never will.

I nod at Donny and excuse myself, getting excited about this party. It's about to be poppin' and I can't wait to see the guy I been crushing on. He gonna look at me up and down and see me as the finest thing ever. May just give him a lil' taste or something if he do right.

Once I touch the fabric of the dress, a guilty and nervous feeling takes over. This has happened before and, when it did, we all got the worst end of it.

If I leave and Momma come back with her dude before I do, we all suffer. My brothers don't deserve that. It's selfish but Donny can lie his way through anything if he wanted to. He insisted I go because he knows I deserve this. Plus, when's the last time I'll get to enjoy a moment like this? When will I get to enjoy my life again?

After I dress myself and do my hair up nice, I step out of my room for a minute. I feel gorgeous and sexy, ready to get my mingle on or whatever. Then my eye peeks into Darren, Dewayne, and Dorian's room.

All of them are under the age of 10 and they're already asleep after Momma threatened them. They look so sound and sweet, hopefully dreaming of a better life for all of us.

I blow a kiss from a distance and work my way into the living room. Donny's standing by the front door with a sincere smile on his face.

I deserve this. Everything will be alright. I'll be back before they even know. I'mma have a good time.

"The neighbor's gonna take you there. They just stopped by to see if we were okay and I asked. Don't worry, Cass. I got you. I got us no matter what happens. Have fun," Donny reassures me with a quick hug as Damien slowly shakes his head and looks down.

He makes me feel a little guilty but if he were in my shoes, he'd know that I need this. He knows that I'm doing this for us. He wouldn't understand until he gets older...

If he gets older...