so one of my best friends is moving away. he's a total cutie and he's moving like halfway across the country, and I'll most likely never see him again and ugh

i hate this bc i liked him ok but like i wasn't ready for him to be leaving so soon like i've had a crush on him for like 5 years so i mean

i'm basically screwed and i'm so emo about it too like ugh i gave him nearly all my effort and as far as i know, he liked me a while ago but never told me which sux

like throwback to when we would sing stupidass songs together and tbt when i had to buy him snacks bc i lost a bet like

that shit is memories

and now i won't even be able to remember them as vividly bc i have a long way to go and like what if he forgets me or forgets my feelings for him like ugh

i only have a few months with him what do i do

like seriously @/god why do u do this to me

so yeah i'm basically dead and like he means so much to me but i don't think he knows that and i'm just in a sad circle of self pity and irritation

like what if ten years from now i go to an oddly familiar cashier with my groceries and catch a glimpse of his nametag and i'll let it slip that i knew a boy with the same name as his and he was my biggest crush but idk what happened to him bc he moved away and his eyes will widen and he'll tell me that his story parallels to mine and i'll realize that he's the same boy from my childhood but he'll look at me sadly and tell me he doesn't remember a girl named Mai with a wild and obnoxious personality and ugh

help me what do i do i mean what are the chances he likes me back and what will i do if my feelings are reciprocated i mean long distance relationships suck so ugh i hate this isbsksbskshsidh

and the worst thing is that i kinda brushed it off first and thought he was joking but noooo he was serious and then i felt my heart drop and i just felt guilty for being so apathetic towards him

what is life