“I just don’t get it alright!” Liam cried “I mean Jed?” he asked confused “Since when did you even like him?” he cried.

I took a step away “Since when did you care?” I cried back through narrowed eyes.

He snorted “I'm your older brother, of course I care!” he shouted. “I mean why couldn’t you date someone like Eli?”

I rolled my eyes fighting back the tears; I would not cry I repeated to myself over and over. “Yeah right, Eli is your friend as if he even notices me!” I cried as the reality of the blow hit me. “Nothing would happen!” I shouted.

Liam snorted again “You’re so infuriating sometimes Ez, seriously! You deserve someone that will treat you right and cherish the ground you walk on, not Jed. I just can’t believe it that you honestly can’t see it for yourself.” He murmured in disbelief.

“Who Liam? Who in the world would notice me?!” I shouted tears threatening as my voice broke.

Liam watched me slightly startled by my outburst of a question before he shook his head “I can’t help you, you have to find things out for yourself. Some things you’ve got to do and learn on your own.”

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Waking up the next morning I was skipping around the house, humming to myself and even dancing and sliding on the floorboards at times. Liam rolled at me countless times with a smirk like face, and once when I’d slide he’d shove me making me stumble. Yet even that couldn’t break my mood. My grin didn’t falter once, my lips stayed wide and broad where my eyes were bright and dancing around the room.

Looking in the mirror at my nicely shape and hanging hair and my wide shining eyes vibrant with color. My smile was wide and for once looking the mirror I couldn’t find anything to pick at, even our school uniform which consisted of a grey pleated mid thigh skirt and a white blouse shirt. I felt once vibrant and light, never better.

Last night after I came home and relayed the message and such I was bopping around happier than ever. It wasn’t until I crept into bed where my thoughts were capable of assaulting me that doubt and overwhelming thoughts assaulted me. I had no answer to why I shouldn’t dump Jed. I mean I liked him, right? I mean love not like. I know lately we had barely seen one another and I knew the past couple months I had been getting annoyed with certain things and spending way less time with him. But was it because I’d been busy and I just needed a bit of space, right? And the reason why I didn’t protest against Liam today was because I was too happy to be bothered by such a question, right? I fell asleep last night in the end not in the slightest able to answer why I should stay with Jed.

Now however I was fine, I had decided once I got this photo job with Gemma and Andrew than I would figure out the entire Jed stuff. I was going to sort it out, later. Right now I didn’t care and I was already very happy with what was happening right now.

“So where’s Jed?” Mel asked at lunch as we sat in the grass under our tree, curiosity in her voice which startled me.

I mean, I wasn’t stupid I knew Mel let alone Liam or Eli liked Jed overly too much yet they accepted him and bit their tongue to save our relationship. I always thought they didn’t get along so much cause in honesty Jed was in a different popular group and they clashed because of their different sports involvements and such. Overall there was a reason behind their edge and I never asked because it wasn’t majorly noticeable. I mean Jed wasn’t rude towards me and such, we had even said “I love you” but I think over time we’d drifted and it wasn’t only me, Jed had too.

I shrugged as I watched my fingers tug on the grasses leaves, I was deep in thought and all these Jed’s thoughts and such really was killing my buzz.

Mel sighed sadly, a sound she makes a lot recently in reference to Jed in my life or rather lack of his involvement in my life. She was wanted to say something, I knew she did but she was biting her tongue for my sake like everyone else. They were biting their tongues so I wouldn’t be offended and so our friendship wouldn’t diminish.

I spoke first though “I'm lost. I don’t know, well I don’t know if I like Jed anymore.” I admitted my words leaving my mouth in a whisper as I kept my gaze glued to my grass.

Mel reached out towards me and squeezed my hand gently in hers as she offered me a small smile “I noticed.”

I looked down at her hand in my, her offering of comfort “I mean I did. Until it got boring, all he likes is football and parties but I like other things too, but we cant talk about it….we’re just so different, I don’t think we’re capable of a long distant relationship. And….well all he wants to do is….” I trailed off my cheeks burning a crimson red.

“You haven’t though, have you?” she asked alarm growing in her voice.

I laughed meekly “No, it doesn’t and wouldn’t feel right. I mean I never see him around these days anyways.Two completely different people.” I muttered softly to myself.

Mel spoke again but with caution in her voice “So why….well why haven’t you ended it earlier?” she asked.

She had a point and yet I didn’t have an answer “I honestly don’t know, but I'm not sure. It was….cool you know? Jed the popular cool guy falling for the book nerd me, it was like a fairytale…..well so I thought.” I muttered to myself.

***

Walking out onto the school’s field my smile grew slightly as I spotted Liam goofing about. I continued on over to him.

Suddenly a hand wrapped around my waist and jolted me aside, watching with wide eyes I watch as a football smashes into the ground where I had just stood with quite a lot of force, it made me recoil in fear as it made contact with a loud sound.

I noticed that the hand was still around my waist, turning in their arms that didn’t let go I came face to face with my savior. “Thanks Eli.” I sighed in relief and at the exact same time my heart rate became faster as his warm arms kept wrapped around my waist and I could smell his musky intoxicating scent that left me feeling drugged. Eli smiled softly to me, the smile he always gave me; I loved the sound of that, my smile. His brown caramel wavy hair was falling around his eyes and his browner eyes felt warmer. His face was carved so that it was friendly and smooth, I couldn’t help but notice how soft and juicy his lips looked. Captivated I leant into his arms subtly, I hoped.

“Hey! Are you trying to kill yourself?” someone shouted at me.

I blinked stunned and turned towards the voice in daze, to sigh in relief again “Oh, it’s you Liam.”

He rolled his eyes at me smiling “What are you doing out here anyways?”

I smiled wide and Liam raised his eyebrows at me “Well mum called,” I began “and she wants you to come to the shop with me after school since you are such a handy man.” I said sarcastically, taunting him as I reminded him of last time he tried to put a shelf up for mum that was of glass. Need I say more?

His eyes narrowed at me before he scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder making me squeal. “Put me down!” I demanded. Liam ignored me and just kept walking; I didn’t know where as my face was facing behind him.

Before out of reach I grabbed Eli’s hand dragging him along with me. “You’re going to help me out of this.” I said to Eli as I continued holding his hand.

“Eli don’t you dare take her side and give in.” Liam ordered.

“Oh come one!” I protested in a cry. “What did I even do?” I grumbled propping my head up on my hands as I smiled innocently as I took a nice evening stroll lazily.

Liam snorted “I know what you’re thinking of, tease.”

I poked him cheekily in the back as I giggled “All I'm thinking about is there was a lot of smashed glass, wasn’t there?” I teased him with a cheeky grin.

Liam grunted as he hoisted me off his back harshly making me groan as I hit his shoulder harshly, I hissed cursing as I slapped him over the back of the head. Liam cursed before hoisting me again on his shoulder. I rolled my eyes giving up in the slightest on him. He was to be a lost cause.

I turned to look at Eli, whose hand I was still holding happily “So, how’s your day been so far?”

He laughed making me smile “Definitely interesting.” He teased with a glint in his eyes.

I smiled “Yeah well don’t worry, I won’t bother your fun after today.” I said happily.

Eli frowned “I can’t believe you some time Ez,” he chuckled with frustration if I was right “your company is never a damper on my life.” He reassured with utter conviction that it made me smile and tremble inside with glee.

Suddenly we grew to a halt until I slipped further off and at the last minute someone caught me up from under my shoulders and helped me plant my feet on the ground. “Thanks.” I said breathlessly as Eli let go.

I spun around to see Jed, about twenty meters away laughing with a bunch of guys, his blonde hair flying in the wind and his face creased with laughter. Then I looked at what was so funny, they’d taken some younger boys book and were taunting him as he begged for it back. The sight sickened me.

I burned with anger and without thinking I stormed over, ignoring Liam and Eli’s protests. Reaching the group I kept at a distance as I watched Jed, folding my arms in disgust.

Rick, a friend of Jed noticed me “Oh, hey Erin.”

Jed looked up from the book and the boy who was standing in front of Jed red and if anything distraught, poor thing. “What ya doing babe?” he asked casually as if he didn’t realize how this could insult me in the slightest let alone the word babe, I hated that so called endearment so much. It was so….wrong, it held no comfort or sweetness to it. I had told him that many of time.

My eyes narrowed at him “I could ask you the same thing.” I said my anger flaring in my tone.

“This kid reads.” He said jerking his thumb at the so called kid as he chortled at such an idea.

I took a deep breath “So,” he looked at me confused, his laughter halting. “I,” I began, snapping the book out of his hands “read!” I handed the book to the boy who instantly fled.

Jed looked at his back as he ran off in utter and complete shock, as if he’d just been slapped in his face. His head snapped back to me “But you’re a girl!” he cried incredulously.

“What, so guys can’t read?” I asked testily.

Jed looked at me warily, I could tell his brain was working for some defensive come back, I sat my hands on my hips waiting, and still I got nothing.

“Are living in the 18th Century?” I spat and without another sound except Jed’s brain spiraling to understand what that question even meant he stormed off.

I ignored all three voices that called out to me.

***

Walking up the main street to the shop I spotted Jed leaning against the shops front door, Instantly the anger that was still within me flared harder again.

Seeing me he stood up straighter, but before he could speak I beat him to it “I” I said reaching around him for the door “am busy.” I said walking around him for the door.

“C’mon Erin, I didn’t do it to you!” he protested in exhaustion, as if this argument was pointless let alone anything important to him.

“That’s not the point.” I hissed “To me that is an insult, now excuse me and get the hell out of my way!” I hissed again. He stood his ground moving nowhere. “Jed, so help me move or I'll make you.” I threatened.

Usually he’d laugh at my anger but noticing my anger he’d take a step to the side. I shot him one last look before I pushing the door opened and I slammed it harshly in his face.

“Erin!” mum protested as her head came around the corner. I ignored her and walked over to the desk, mum sensing my mood cautioned herself away.

It was only after a moment of deep breaths that I noticed Liam and Eli were in front of me in the corner watching me warily. I sighed and looked away.

Liam spoke first crossing the room to kneel in front of the desk and me. he watched me with worried filled eyes “Want to talk?”

I shook my head and grabbed my book rather roughly. After re-reading the word ‘car’ fifty times and my brain still not grasping what the hell a car was I slammed my book down.

“I mean what the hell is wrong with him?!” I cried in frustration to see Liam who was still kneeling at my feet waiting for my outbreak, grimace. “What the hell” I began “am I doing?” I asked in anger.

Liam’s brow furrowed in confusement “What do you mean?”

“I mean what am I even doing dating that, that…..god there’s not even a word for him!” I cried in a muffled as I buried my head in my hands.

I could sense Liam instantly coming and sitting down beside me, he took one of my hands and his thumb ran soothing circles into my palm. “Ez it’s okay. Just breathe and calm down.” He said soothingly as he held me.

I didn’t cry nor scream but I felt like it, I just didn’t know what I had just done for the pass eight months, but I knew it wasn’t anything special.

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