“Come on silly girl.” Liam murmured under his breath, tugging me closer into his side as he readjusted my arm around his shoulder with a faint groan as my body wouldn’t comply as he practically carried me through my front door.

“Hey! This is crazy….just met you…” I mumbled back a jumble of incoherent words and unfinished sentences, all a whole bunch of words from some stupid song I heard tonight “So call me maybe!” I cried out throwing my arms up in the air and stumbling back down the stairs as I nearly knocked Liam’s head off.

“Woo, woo.” Liam cooed his hands shooting out lightning fast.

“Woo, woo” I copied him “When did you learn to do that?” I cried.

“Do what?” Liam frowned as he bundled me up in his arms as he decided to carry me bridal style up my lonely house’s staircase.

“You’re…superman.” I mumbled groggily as my head began to pound at the quick movement, the room spinning all around me as my stomach lurched.

Liam chuckled softly, his chest vibrating against my buzzed body, I sighed blissfully as I let my head fall into his chest allowing his warm body and intoxicating scent send me away to a better place, a safer place.

I distantly recollect the door squeaking open before Liam sighed wearily nestling me down in my bed “What are you doing silly girl?” he murmured, his fingers tickling me as he brushed my hair out of my eyes. I don’t think he was even talking to me; it was if he was just thinking out loud or something.

I frowned moaning in my sleep as I leant my head into his touch his skin seeming to if anything erasing my pounding head. I was so sleepy, I just wanted to sleep. But my king sized bed feels so empty, so barren.

Suddenly there was a new weight on the bed and I rolled towards it “What were you doing out on a Thursday night?” he murmured softly, his fingers still running in tendrils through my hair, lulling me to sleep.

I moaned “Party.” I mumbled exhaustion creeping up upon me as I began to crash, my buzz disintegrating before my eyes.

Liam sighed heavily “Alright, well I’ll come see you tomorrow – today –“ he corrected himself “after school.”

I moaned in protest “No, stay. I need a big giant teddy bear.” I mumbled into the pillow most likely drooling. I know I’ll be regretting a lot in the morning.

I smiled goofily into the heavenly goodness of the pillow at the sound of Liam’s chuckle as he crept into my bed with me as he wrapped my arm around me, drawing me into his chest as he lazily ran his fingers through my hair “There, am I cuddly enough?” he hummed.

“Mmmm,” I agreed “you’re always saving me.”

ೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋ

“Mel? Are you ready yet?” a voice shouted out down stairs.

I sighed for what felt like the tenth time in the past minute as I tried putting my earring in as I studied myself in the mirror “Men.” I muttered to myself with a roll of the eyes.

“Mel!”

“I’m coming! Hold your freaking horses!” I shouted back, my patience wearing.

I sighed again as I turned to face my reflection, studying myself with precision. I was dressed in a simple black dress that I liked to call my bubble dress. It synched in at my bust and waist and from my hips out and floated out like a giant bubble ‘till it reached just above my knees. I coupled it with my lime green thick heeled heels and my matching clutch as I added a few chunky rings, bracelet and finishing it off with big studded earrings. My hair was loosely curled around my face and my makeup simple and elegant with some smoky eyes. For the first time in a long time I felt confident as I looked back at myself, it was such a foreign feeling that I couldn’t help but wonder if I had ever actually felt truly confident before.

Rubbing my lips together one more time with my freshly coated lips I turned flicking my bedroom lights off before carefully making my way down the stairs. I had stacked these stairs once before and I didn’t plan on it happening again because it freaking hurt!

Looking up I watched Eli and Liam standing in the foyer talking, or rather Liam talking happily. They were both dressed a lot more casual than I was but that was the guys for you I guess. They both had on though nice jeans with nicer buttoned up shirts that fit them both snugly and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Ez, she was missing out!

What caught my attention though were the two completely different emotions that filled the air. Liam’s grin seemed to only grow to the point my own cheeks protested in anguish, he was honest to god blissfully happy. Then there was Eli, he was leaning against the doorway of the lounge room, his arms were folded and he looked to be actually sulking with a childish pout.

I frowned swiveling my gaze back to meet Liam’s “What are we talking about?” I asked worriedly.

Was Eli pissed off at Liam again? It seemed to be a common denominator these past couple days, not that I could blame Eli. Now that Liam was up to date to all of these things Eli was the only person that was utterly clueless to what had been going on. I could see how utterly confused and tormented it made him. Every time though that I asked Liam why he wasn’t going to fill Eli in he said he was keeping his promise to his baby sister and Erin had to tell him not him, he wasn’t getting involved in that when one was his best friend and the other his little sister.

I personally don’t think Eli would want to talk to Liam some of these past days either though. When Erin came to school the next day with me and Liam tried following her around like a scolded puppy, begging to talk to her, Eli couldn’t help but ask what happened. I sugar coated it a lot and told him that Liam was acting like the biggest douche of a brother and in turn Ez had turned up in tears at my house the night before. Let’s just say Eli wasn’t too happy with Liam at all and he didn’t even know the full story!

Not that I could blame him, after Ez and I had hung out all that night and we caught up and we fell back into our old ways of friendship I rang Liam. I had told him point blank that what he did was beyond a joke, he should feel guilty and it was wrong in more ways than one. He groveled and explained but I made it clear he had to explain to Erin not me, that is after she had cooled down.

“Ez.” Liam beamed brightly back at me “She woke me up this morning before going off to the wedding.”

“So you two made up?” I asked frowning and yet hopefully, god knows it’s hard seeing those two fight, it was unnatural.

Liam nodded eagerly beaming “Yeah, we fixed it all up.”

I smiled back “So was she nervous?” I asked referring to the wedding, I knew she was utterly freaking out about it; she’d been fretting about it a lot lately.

Liam nodded “Yeah a fair bit actually. I don’t know why though, she’s good at it.”

“She’s amazing at it.” Eli corrected still sulkily.

I turned to Liam again frowning “What’s up with him?” I asked gesturing to Eli as if he wasn’t even in the room.

“He’s got the shits because I told him Ez looked utterly amazing.” Liam said smiling almost cheekily.

Eli rolled his eyes mumbling under his breath.

I frowned “I don’t get…what’s wrong with that?” I asked puzzled.

Liam shrugged smiling casually nothing seeming to worry him “I think he’s angry that he has to go out tonight rather than going with Ez.”

I frowned “Why would he go with Ez?”

“Because Erin was offered to have a plus one slash ‘assistant’.” Liam explained doing the bunny ears on ‘assistant’.

My eyes grew “Really? I didn’t know that.” I murmured.

Liam shrugged “It’s too late now; we’ve got to get going.” He murmured looking down at his watch “It’s nine thirty already.”

I looked over at Eli “If I’d known Eli I would have convinced her to take you.” I murmured trying to appease him somehow.

Eli shrugged pushing himself off the wall “I wouldn’t have been able to go anyway.” He said the sulk gone but it was still there faintly. I frowned at him; why wouldn’t he have gone? Was he in a sour mood these days for more reasons than Erin telling him he was a ‘mistake’ or was there more to it? He hadn’t been this sour before…

“Don’t worry mate, you can hang with Mel and I.” Liam said clapping him on the back cheerily.

Eli rolled his eyes “A third wheel, brilliant.” He muttered to himself before walking out the front door.

I looked at Liam worriedly and he only shrugged in reply as he held out his hand to me. How was he taking this so calm? Why was he taking this calm?

I shrugged it off as I looked at his opened hand, the gesture meaning more than it simply appeared. I had been fretting the past couple nights on how I was going to do this, how I was going to tell Liam. I was going to take the biggest leap in faith and trust something I’ve never shown, something that had all the power to destroy me. I was putting all my faith into something I’ve never believed in or trusted. It’d always been a fantasy, a figment of the imagination. But now….now I was ready to literally hand my heart over to someone else as I confessed the truth.

I slid my hand slowly into his, my shoulders seeming to instantly thaw as every buzzing frantic fear fled my body and soul. It was a blissful silence of pure content and security, there were no doubts, and there were no insecurities. Just promises.

Liam tugged me closer as he curled me into his side as we walked outside, the both of us stopping at the front door as I locked up. He leant in ‘till his face and nose was wiggling and nuzzling into the side of my cheek and a shudder of pure bliss coiled down right to my toes.

“Have I told you today how utterly gorgeous you look?” he murmured into my cheek, his voice low and guttural. I’d never felt so alone and intimate with him my entire life and yet here we stood out in public. How could he do that, transport me to another world?

“No.” I giggled as the faint stubble to his cheek – that I couldn’t help but to notice he was letting go a bit, which was utterly sexy – tickled and scratched at my skin as I squirmed.

Liam chuckled lowly “Well, now I have.” He said as he held his hand out for me once again.

I took his outstretched hand of promises, taking a leap of trust in love, putting all my faith into Liam.

***

I nibbled and tugged on my lower lip harshly as I stood in the crowded room, struggling to breathe as I also struggled to fight for the courage I needed.

The party was utterly jammed pack; there were so many people in this house alone I couldn’t even recognize. Apparently some surrounding towns had invited themselves and every person was being sewn together as we all joined to become some giant throng of movement. A throng of laughter and flirtation, of alcohol and drunken bliss, of sensual and crazy dancing, and of sheer celebration and happiness.

I stood on the edge of the room watching all the bodies that seemed to be attached. It was hard to see a face or depict a single person on their own as they got lost in the throng. The deafening thud of the bass resonated right through and up to my toes to the point my knees shook as I feared it’d bring me down to my knees.

I watched as girls screamed and squealed dramatically, doing anything – no matter how extravagant or pathetic – to get some male attention. I couldn’t believe that I had been one of those girls not even a month ago; I was relying on casual hook ups, heavy bass music and alcohol to numb the pain and to take me away. It looked all so fun and exciting, to let your hair down and be what looked to be so free.

But after coming out on the other side and seeing the light I couldn’t help but realize how wrong I was, I used to think that by being like those girls before me from Friday right through to Sunday was being free. But these girls before me weren’t free; they were trapped more than anyone else. These girls were crying out for attention; why else were they letting guys take body shots off of them? Why else were they strutting around with little else on? And why else did they want to forget their miseries through substance abuse?

I was realizing more than ever that running really bought you nowhere; you seemed to only spiral out quicker and in the end you’re stranded in a hurricane rather than a thunder storm. The darkness only expands and grows and as each second passes this dark toxic abyss coils around you to the point it’s strangling you, forcing and stealing every breath out of you until there’s nothing left in you, until there is nothing to fight for.

But I had something to fight for; we all have something to fight for. Or more specifically, someone to fight for. I may have had my entire blood family walk out on me and desert me, but my true family had never deserted me. No matter how desperate I was to drown myself and run away they wouldn’t let me, they just kept pulling and slowly they pulled me up to the surface. It was in that moment that I realized I just didn’t have one person to fight for but I had numerous people to fight for, I had my family to fight for.

My heart swelled with the reassurance I needed as I caught sight of Liam walking through the very middle of the dance floor – not even blinking an eye at the girls he pushed by or who attempted to attract him – with his eyes solely on me.

I felt the butterflies and tumbles in my chest as my lips tugged up into a smile on their own accord. There was no uncertainty anymore; I loved this boy more than it should be capable. I had all those clichéd feelings and more, the feelings where your heart bottoms out and you can’t sleep and breathe without them. They’re the only people that give you the faith and hope in believing, not only do they give you faith in love but they also gave you faith in yourself.

“Hey my gorgeous girl,” Liam greeted as he reached me what felt like hours later “for you m’lady.” He sang holding out a red cup of something.

I chewed on my lower lip, my cheeks heating and I was grateful for the dimmed room. “What is it?” I asked him, my heart tumbling if anything with a rush of nerves as I tried to bring the conversation from the sweet greeting and my rosy cheeks.

The corner of Liam’s lips quirked “Your favorite.” He answered vaguely with humor filled eyes.

I couldn’t help but narrow my eyes on him, I couldn’t help but think of him as still the very same boy that spat in my drink when I was six “You didn’t…” I trailed off hesitantly “spit in it?” I asked as he quirked a perfect brow.

Liam rolled his eyes in exhaustion “That was one time!” he protested in frustration.

I giggled as I looked down at the cup in my hands, nervously drawing it up to my lips I could feel Liam’s studying gaze as he watched me take a hesitant sip. My lips tugged in satisfaction at the taste of vodka and juice. It was safe.

“I told you I didn’t spit in it!” he declared with a smug triumphant grin.

I looked at him with a scrunched up nose “It’s saliva, how on earth am I meant to know you spat in here unless I saw it? It’s not like I know what your spit tastes like.” I argued back unable but to look at him like he was a little deranged.

Liam leant against the wall; his arms folded with a lazy smug grin upon his face instantly making me feel self conscious “I don’t know….” He drew out “I’m pretty sure you got a taste of it – of me – when we had that heated make out session.”

I blushed a bloody scarlet “We didn’t make out!” I cried a little louder than I should, but it was a party, it’s not like people could hear over the heady music or were paying attention to us.

Liam through his head back laughing loudly, his smile and laughter intoxicating “Right, that was my dream last night.” he teased as if trying to appease my sudden shyness.

I chewed on my lower lip “It’s nice to see your smile.” I admitted honestly, feeling a little shy but confident in the truth.

Liam looked at me nodding with pure content “Yeah, well everything is falling into place.” He said simply giving me a pointed look.

I couldn’t help but look away my heart tumbling. It was like he could read my mind, see the future. Could he? I couldn’t help but think anxiously. It was just like he knew what I was going to do. That I was going to talk to him and speak the truth, tell him exactly where my heart laid – in the very palms of his hands.

He looked at me curious, as if he noticed I was having an inner panic attack. I was anxious to change the topic, to distract him so he wouldn’t ask what was going through my head. I didn’t plan on exactly blurting out my feelings after all. Instead though I blurted out the second thing I wanted to talk to him about with no hesitation as I threw myself in the deep end with the sharks.

“Are you mad at me for not telling you sooner?” I asked the words stringing together as I cringed at how messy and graceless that was.

Liam sighed wearily not needing an elaboration to know what we were so suddenly discussing. I literally wanted to punch myself in the face, way to ruin such a mood! It was meant to be a fun night out where I was even going to confess my feelings to him! After this conversation it may not even happen now…

I suddenly couldn’t look him in the eye, the turmoil coiling deep in the pit of my gut had my heart lurching and my throat dry. I felt like screaming and kicking into a pillow like you see in the movies. More greater though I wanted to simply crawl into a hole and die!

“No, yes, maybe.” He muttered raking his fingers through his hair in what appeared like agony.

His words hurt but I couldn’t deny his honesty earned him more of my respect and only made me feel worse, I didn’t believe him. Why was I telling him the truth of my feelings again?

“I’m not mad at you really,” he shook his head “I mean Ez told me everything and you found out a little too late and you had things to lose to, but I still wish you would have told me even if you did think it was over. It’s not something he should get away with so easily, he’ll just keep doing it and won’t learn right or wrong.” He explained honestly trying to hold my gaze.

I nodded swallowing roughly; he had literally hit the nail on the head. It was exactly how I felt now that I looked back upon this, there was obvious and drastic mistakes made and if I could go back and change them I honestly would. It would have saved a lot of people from a whole lot of heartache.

I was already being punished for that mistake, I had to live with this burning searing regret, sometimes though, I wished for a greater punishment. I wanted Ez to scream and yell at me, maybe call me names and than even punch me in the face. I wanted someone to make it clear they were mad and disappointed in me rather than this calm; it made me doubt them when they really said ‘It’s okay.’

“Hey, it doesn’t matter now.” Liam said breaking me from my deep thoughts “We can’t change it as much as we want to, we just learn from our next mistakes yeah? Next time you see or hear something big tell me.” he said smiling wryly but reassuring.

I shook my head in disappointment, frustrated and if anything exhausted “That’s it?” I asked, my voice exhausted “I’m not a child Liam! You can yell at me, hell you can call me names! Just tell me how you feel, if you’re disappointed, just tell me!” I demanded getting frustrated as my hands moved around wildly.

Liam nodded calmly which only infuriated me more “I was disappointed in you.” He admitted, the sting of his words crazily bought a pang of satisfaction “But I’m just as disappointed in Erin for her stupid mistakes, and Eli and even myself.” He continued making me look up at him shocked and confused “We’ve all done or haven’t done so many stupid things about all this shit. Trust me when I say you aren’t solely to blame, we all are to blame, we’ve just made dumb mistakes.”

“Really dumb mistakes.” I muttered under my breath.

Liam smiled wryly back at me “It doesn’t matter though, it’s done. We’re all figuring things out and working out our shit.” He said honestly smoothing it all over so easily.

I grew curious at his ease; wasn’t he still furious? Demanding justice or the killing of Jed and Falan? How was he so calm and collected? My tongue got the best of me as I spoke up “I heard you weren’t going to do anything about Jed and Falan.” I stated with a faint push of a question, scoping for the truth, to understand.

Liam nodded “Yeah, I promised Ez I wouldn’t.” he answered “Probably a fucked up idea.” He muttered.

“Probably?” I asked in disbelief, where had the over protective Liam gone? “Liam if you came to me this very instant wanting to go to the cops I’d be going with you in a heartbeat.”

“And say what? Show them what? We have utterly no proof.” He said exhaustedly, looking haggard and almost defeated “And I know damn well if my solution was me taking it into my own hands you’d protest, not to mention Ez. I’m kind of backed up into a corner here.”

I shook my head understanding what he was saying and yet it just wasn’t right...I sighed haggardly, utterly exhausted and wearisome. I was too exhausted and over it all to push it, I just wanted to have a good night and deal with it in the morning. A drama free nigh felt like heaven, like a miracle actually.

“What’s going through that pretty little head of yours?” Liam murmured, giving me a gentle nudge to the side.

I looked up startled at how easily he caught on to when I was facing turmoil “N-nothing,” I stammered awfully “I was just thinking about…” I struggled pathetically.

“Hey,” Liam practically crooned “smile sweetheart, everything is going to be okay, I promise.” He said, his eyes blazing with sheer certainty. I couldn’t help but wonder how could he be so sure, so positive?

I gulped “Liam,” I began my mouth going dry at the questions burning on my tongue, each one blazing with a fierceness that had my gut coiling in anticipation and fear. It was a gigantic step; each question could end tragically, every possible reaction I could imagine was worse than any train wreck “I-Oh!” I cried surprised.

I looked down instantly patting around me for the device that was vibrating rather intimately against my skin. It took me a moment to remember I didn’t have any pockets in my dress and I had rather tucked my mobile in my bra. I reached into my bra to pull out my bra and I blushed as Liam’s gaze scorched me.

I looked down to see Erin’s name and I instantly answered “Hello?” I shouted over the music that suddenly sounded more like a roar.

I heard the muffled reply through the phone, the words seeming to draw together and break, ending before they really even begun. I cringed at the loud music and looked up at Liam who had just been approached by Eli who both looked to be in a rather too heated conversation. Not bothering to tell them where I was going before I headed out of the room to seek some privacy and quiet.

“Ez?” I asked stepping out into the front garden of the house, the cool breeze making me shiver.

“Yeah it’s me, look Mel where’s Eli?” She demanded bluntly catching me off guard; where they fighting again? The hopeful stupid part of me prayed that she had just come to her senses and was calling to confess her feelings tonight also. But I knew that wasn’t true, the churning in my gut told me otherwise.

“Um, inside somewhere with the rest of the guys.” I answered with a frown as I thought back to Eli and the last time I saw him he was sulking “If I’m honest he looks a little bit like a lost pupp-“

“Mel!” she interrupted me leaving me feeling as if she slapped me in the face “I don’t have time for this! Are you certain, really certain he’s in there and okay?” She demanded wildly, crazed by sheer protectiveness and worry.

In that second alone the worry churning in the pit of my gut was confirmed, something was wrong, extremely wrong “Is everything okay Erin?” I asked afraid of the answer.

“No, but are you certain?” she persisted giving me no clue of what was going on to my aggravation.

“Yeah,” I reassured her “I passed him on the way outside so I could talk to you; he was talking to Liam over in the corner.” She answered as I sighed a gush of relief “Trust me Ez he’s perfectly okay.”

I could hear her sigh heavily in relief “Thank god.”

“Ez you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” I asked my heart in my throat as I felt like any moment I could throw up.

I “I got a text off Jed,” she began, my heart instantly bottoming out “it said ‘tell your pretty boy he better watch out tonight’.” She explained as my grip on the phone tightened.

My mind took what felt like years to find a coherent thought “Look, it’ll be okay.” I lied, trying to find her some reassurance and to save her special day and job from being tarnished “Liam and I are here, I’ll go tell Liam and we’ll keep an eye on him. We’ll make sure he’s okay and if Jed or Falan turn up we’ll send him on his way.” I answered thinking through a plan; I could always rely on Liam.

“Call the cops.” She said simply, blunt with reassurance.

“Call the cops?” I asked utterly stunned “Since when do you want the cops involved?”

“Since I realized that the guy I love is at risk because of me. Just call them if you see him, alright?” She demanded to the point my body jolt as if hit, her voice left no room for argument.

“I don’t know Ez,” I began hesitantly “what could we possibly say to get them here?”

 “I don’t care! Tell them they have a gun for all I care!” She cried down the phone sounding on the verge of hysterics.

“Okay, okay!” I said hastily to appease her “We’ll keep our eyes opened but don’t come over, if Jed and Falan are here we don’t need you here. You just stay there and do your job, don’t worry, everything will be utterly okay.”

There was a hesitant pause, “I’m packing up now, I should be home soon.” She finally answered.

“Okay,” I agreed soothingly “well text us when you’re leaving and come and pick us up than?” I suggested thinking if she saw Eli in person she’d relax, hell maybe she’d tell him the truth about everything.

“Okay I’ll text you. But if there if anything happens, you call me alright?” She demanded, not that I could complain. After hearing about this text message I wanted to get the hell out of here.

 “Okay, I can do that but nothing will happen.” I assured her trying to calm her down as she sound like she was on the verge of a breakdown “Anyway, I’ll go tell Liam and you go back to having. We’ll all see you soon.” I said looking back towards the doorway.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” She said shakily, hanging up before I could even reply.

Before I could stop to think I ran back through the house’s front door and down the hall to try and find Liam. My gaze instantly scanned the room searching for Liam, my heart thundering in my chest wildly. My eyes danced wildly ‘till my gaze fell on him walking down another hallway on the other side of the room.

Without a pause I chased after him “Liam!” I shouted after him, pushing through people “Liam!” I tried again when he didn’t turn around.

He paused, glancing over his shoulder with a puzzled frown before it brightened “Oh, hey. I was looking for you.” He smiled easily turning back around to face me as I reached him feeling breathless.

“We have to go.” I panted, feeling scorched inside and out.

Liam frowned, his brow creasing “Go? Why?” he asked confused “What happened?” he demanded with concern.

“Ez just called me; Jed sent her a threatening message. About Eli.” I explained hastily, my words stringing together.

“Hang on a moment here.” he soothed holding up his hands as he grabbed my arms and tugged me closer “What message?”

“Jed texted Ez saying Eli better watch his back.” I answered rushed “Ez is in hysterics, she’s coming to get us now. We’ve got to go.”

“Hey, calm down.” Liam crooned rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

“No, we can’t!” I protested my voice rising “Erin’s going nuts, she was freaking out. We need to get Eli and go!” I urged looking around “Where is Eli?” I asked my voice sounding almost shrill as I couldn’t see him, my mind instantly thinking the worse.

“Hey, calm down.” Liam coaxed bringing my gaze back to him “Ez will still be a bit, we’ve still got time.”

I shook my head “Time for what? Liam Eli is in danger.” I stressed “Doesn’t that worry you?” I demanded perplexed, what was wrong with him?

Liam nodded “Of course it does, but he’ll be fine. Jed’s not going to do anything crazy with such a crowd and we won’t be that long.”

“That long doing what? What are we doing?” I demanded getting frustrated and impatient to the point I felt like stomping my foot like a child before folding my arms to sulk.

“Dancing, we haven’t had the chance to dance yet.” He stated simply.

I gaped at him “Dancing? You want to dance?” I asked, was I hearing things? The music was awfully loud after all.

“Yeah.” He grinned lazily sliding his fingers through my numb ones as he tugged me onto the makeshift dance floor.

I frowned at his back utterly stumped; I couldn’t understand any of it as he drew me in on the floor. His arms went around me and yet all I could do was repeat his words over and over in my head. My body became flushed with his and yet my gaze was everywhere else but on him, the room didn’t even seem loud anymore, everything seemed blocked out as my gaze searched for Jed, Falan, or Eli. My body was wired up and tense, my entire body and mind was worked up and wanted to get the hell out of here.

“Hey,” Liam cooed his fingers curling under my chin making my eyes connect with his own “be with me here, in this moment.” He murmured softly, his voice surprisingly hearable over the music.

My brow relaxed slightly as I stared up at him curious and lost. My body felt disconnected and scattered as I tried to right myself once again. Liam’s arm tightened around my waist tugging me closer as his fingers ran in tantalizing patterns along my chin and jaw line, distracting me completely.

“Be with me, here.” He breathed his lips by my ear as my entire body curled under his warm breath.

I shook my head trying to remember what I was doing, what was going on? All my body did though was succumb into his body, my body accepting his welcoming body heat and his toe curling promise of security that left my body humming alive. Slowly but surely my head edged forward ‘till his lips were pressed to my forehead, our bodies swaying from side to side faintly in the moment as his hand cupped and held my face to his lips as if I was the most fragile gem.

“Liam-“ I began.

“Shhh, just you and me.” he hummed, his breath tickling my ear as my fingers curled into his shirt, my heart stuttering.

“I love you.” I breathed succumbing completely into his touch.

I could feel Liam’s stroking and gentle touch freeze around me and slowly his body pulled back from my own. His fingers tipped under my chin once again as he tipped my head back to look me right in the eyes. His gaze blazed into my own, swallowing me whole to the point I was close to flying under the intensity, under the sheer devotion and love showered upon me. Those eyes alone had me relaxed; I suddenly didn’t care about how I had just literally blurted out the truth or how I had handed over my heart giving him the chance to crush me into a million.

He wouldn’t do that my heart whispered to me, my heart that had been growing slowly stronger as Liam broke down my shield. That’s what wasn’t reassuring though, what was reassuring was when my mind whispered back it’s agreement, for the first time since my innocent firefly catching days my brain and heart was in agreement.  

He stared at me with those fiery eyes for what felt like an eternity, his eyes studied me and reached right through to my soul. I suddenly understood the phrase ‘touched by an angel’. I stared right back at him unblinking; my body felt a rush of warmth under his gaze just as my heart tumbled. I couldn’t believe how he was looking at me in that moment, as if I was all there ever was.

“I love you.” I whispered again under his stroking thumb, my lower lip trembling.

I felt invincible in that moment, with those words leaving my lips I couldn’t help but feel fearless. I always thought I’d be stronger if I kept my heart caged but handing it over was stronger, it was fearless and it was pure freedom. Gone was that caged feeling and gone was that restricted feeling, I felt like I could take on anything and even more I felt for the first time what complete content and blissfulness is. Where your mind shuts down and stops racing, where you body relaxes and succumbs and all you’re doing is standing still as you reach that euphoria, that heaven.

A short and a gentle laugh passed through Liam’s lips, it was almost a sigh of relief. A tender smile spread across his lips, his eyes danced and it was as if I could literally feel the euphoria he felt passing over me to encase him like a blanket. It left me breathless and I think he was just as breathless as his unsteady breath tickled my lips.

As moments ticked by and he continued just staring that my heart began to sink lower and lower in my body ‘till I felt it had escaped out through my feet. Why was he so silent? I had pictured this grand response, declaring his love for me and showering me in love despite my dread. But this was utter torture! Had he changed his mind? After realizing what I hid from him did he realize just how screwed up I was?

I didn’t even have the chance to flee in humiliation though at the most possible rejection as someone shoved me harshly out of the way. I yelped caught off guard as I hit someone else only to be deflected and pushed into someone else and than once again over the screaming and shouts. My mind whirled and tumbled and I felt dizzy, I was being knocked around like the ball in those pinball games.

A stampede of people where pushing back, I couldn’t determine what was going on, if it was good or bad. The screams and shouts towards each other was hard to hear over the countless voices, the music and the deafening thundering of my heart in my ears. Everyone was rushing out of the room wildly like you see the animals do in Africa and I felt like any moment I’d be pushed to the ground by the force.

“Liam!” I shouted out over the throng of the bodies, my body getting pushed around only more as I grunted under each knock. I swear I’ll have bruises from that in the morning.

I heard no response back from Liam and what was worse was that I couldn’t see him in amongst the bodies rushing outside. Had Liam really left me to fend myself in this madness alone? My heart was pounding loudly, worry and fear gripping my body in a chokehold. Why was I so terrified? I had been fending myself my entire life so why did I feel as if more than ever I needed someone to lean upon?

“He’s outside!” some guy shouted out over the music and to the nearly abandoned room as he pushed passed me.

I looked around frazzled, how on earth could a room become deserted so quickly? It was like blinking and suddenly it was empty. I felt so dizzy and if anything a little sick as I anxiously raced after the throng of bodies. For such a reaction something big must have happened and after the phone call I had before with Ez I knew it couldn’t be good.

It felt like slow motion as I pushed outside the front door of the house, it suddenly felt brighter outside as I pushed my way through. My body felt hollow and disconnected so it was no surprise it baffled me as I had more than enough force to push through the barrier of all these people eagerly trying to look on.

But look onto what? I thought helplessly. I looked around at all these varied expressions, some eager, others curious, others terrified and nervous and others even giggling at what they were all trying to see on the tips of their toes looking over the throng of bodies. I was constantly brushing the hair out of my face as the winds picked up drastically and my body began to freeze under the painful whip of the breeze – it seemed like more than once storm was brewing tonight.

So many words were bouncing off around me and I couldn’t put a sentence together at all, I felt deaf as all I could hear was the heavy thumping of my heart in my ears. It was like all my senses had been disconnected as I felt almost robotic and numb as I shoved past all these people, bile rising in my throat and my chest constricting to become tighter, and tighter, and extremely tighter.

I vaguely thought to myself how much this was beginning to look like a boxing ring as I stepped around the last person to be at the front of the circle. My throat caught and the sharp intake of a gasp could probably have been heard across the other side of the ring it felt that loud. The bile only rose higher as the ground seemed to obscure, the world began to tilt on an angle and terrified part of me was ready to fling myself to the ground to hold on for dear life.

“Did she tell you?” Jed demanded his back straight and his grin cocky, that sure grin had my body turning ice cold.

The entire crowd watched on as Eli answered by a simple shrug “Tell me what? We do lots of stuff together…if you know what I mean.” He jabbed back to my shock, coaxing a reaction out of him.

A reaction is exactly what he got as the entire crowd watched upon as he took a step in closer, his teeth grinding as he flicked his wrists “You won’t be doing anything once I’m through with you punk.”

Eli simply shrugged carelessly to my surprise, since when did he become so confident? Or did he simply not care anymore what happened to him because of all he had endured?

I anxiously looked around the swarm of the crowd expecting to find Liam standing right behind Eli ready to battle by his side ‘till the end. I never found those freckled hazel eyes that stole my breath and also belonged to Eli’s best friend. My heart lurched as I came up short realizing I had no one to help me end this and to make sure Eli got out of this safely rather than being stupid like now.

“Where’s Liam?” I demanded shrilly to the people surrounding me, speaking to no one in particular as I scanned the crowd of eyes that briefly looked at me before going right back to their entertainment. Did they not see that this was serious? This boy is dangerous, don’t they know that?

My gaze snapped back as I felt a gasp catch in my throat at Eli’s next words, “Let’s see what you’ve got, take your best shot boy.” He answered back sardonically.

I could see the surprise upon Jed’s face, it was like he’d just been punched by how Eli was talking back. This wasn’t Eli, he was the mediator; he didn’t cause trouble he solved them or better yet walked away. But now…now he was egging him on, he wanted Jed to take a hit. Was he insane?

And where was Liam? The desperate part of my pleaded hastily, my body was thrumming in fear that I couldn’t stand still as my head snapped in every directions searching.

Why was everyone acting so bizarre tonight? Liam was all over the shot and far from his usual predictable self. I could usually predict Liam’s reaction to anything but tonight I was suffering severely to whip lash, just like how I was to his absence at this very moment. Where had he disappeared to in the throng of the bodies?

Impatient and terrified I pull my phone from my pocket and dialed his number only for it to instantly beep and end. He was either on the phone to someone else or he had his phone turned off. Could this get any stranger?

My hands shook as I hit my second speed dial to call Ez, she picked up instantly as I shouted out back down through the phone “Erin, it’s me! Look-“

I paused as glanced up to see the boys talking more trash, I could see the vein throbbing in Jed’s neck and his fists curl as he only seemed to take a step in closer.

I gulped “you have got to get here okay? Just get here quick.” I said struggling to make my voice sound calm and composed, I didn’t need to freak her out more than she already was. I told Ez that I’d take care of all of this and I promised her nothing would happen and here I’d lost her brother and Eli was about to get his head pounded in. Good work Mel, I thought sarcastically.

“What happened?” she fired like a gun far from oblivious to the fear in my voice.

“I can’t-“ I cringe at the loud sound of flesh hitting flesh, my gaze snapping up to see Jed’s fist fly through and crunch into Eli’s jaw who didn’t even seem to defend himself. Was he fucking insane?

“Mel!” Ez’s hysterical voice cut through me.

“Erin I can’t explain!” I shouted back as I watched petrified as Jed pulled his arm back from another swing “Just get here Ez! Just get here quick!” I cried hanging up, my voice only growing shriller as I watched Falan step into the ring to join forces with Jed like any true friend.

“Where the fuck is Liam?” I demanded my voice shaking with fear as I spoke to no one in particular. My hands clawed at my face not only trying to keep my wildly dancing hair out of my eyes but now under pure gut wrenching terror.

It took me a moment though to realize that nobody could hear me though, not only over the ruckus of the fight,the chatter and the rumbling of the clouds and powerful winds but because of a louder sound echoing all around the houses in the street. Everything around me was suddenly painted in blues and reds and all of a sudden there was another stampede all around me as people were screaming and shouting as I was trampled all over once again.

Trying to right myself after getting shoved and nearly getting knocked over for the hundredth time I looked around me at all these party animals suddenly scattering in the blink of an eye. I tried to see what was stirring the commotion as I tried to keep myself standing, I watched in shock as people screamed and squealed in a mixture of alarm and laughter as every teen tried to flee the scene. Bodies were getting shoved left right and center, my ears were throbbing and ringing in protest and my eyes squinted against the glare of the flashing lights.

I lost myself in the throng of the bodies getting barreled and knocked around as if caught in a washing machine. Funnily enough it wasn’t only the people around me that had me feeling like this, the harsh winds and the rain that began to fall down upon me only made me feel more like I was in a washing machine. I lost Eli and Jed in my sights and I could hear nothing over the screaming sound ringing in my ears despite how much I looked around, fear gripped me tight as my stomach lurched and then suddenly my stomach completely bottomed out.

Because it was in that moment I realized we were in the presence of the police. 

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