“Come on, it can’t be all that good.” Liam argued as he followed me walking around my house as I had just thrown my school bag down on my bed and held a bundle of movies in my arms.

I nodded “Okay, here’s another reason; I can stay up as late as I want.” I said smiling back triumphantly.

“Yeah, but then all nighters and staying up late isn’t as fun as usual.” He threw back.

“Two,” I ignored him “I can eat all the junk food I want, like yesterday I bought a jar of Nutella aaaaaall for me.” I smiled cheekily and triumphantly over my shoulder at him, if there was one thing we shared in common, it was our love for Nutella.

Liam’s eyes grew, our argument forgotten as he gasped with excitement “You have Nutella?” he demanded.

I nodded smiling smugly back as I pulled out the jar “That’s one of the stupidest questions you’ve ever asked.” I laughed.

Liam snatched the jar from me as he fished for a spoon “Okay, that’s one good thing, despite getting fat.” He murmured as he put a spoonful on his tongue and moaned loudly “Oh god, who cares if it makes you fat, you are so worth it.” he moaned, practically cooing to the jar.

I laughed as I grabbed us to cans of Coca Cola “There’s another good thing,” I said catching his attention holding up the movies “I can watch any movie I like.”

Not even ten minutes later as we sat on the lounge, both with Nutella stained spoons in our hands I cowered into Liam’s side, cowering away from the Saw movie I had so openly boasted about before, bile now rising in my throat. This movie was beyond disgusting and sick, I’d never sleep again, what fucked up people created and thought these things?

Liam reached for the remote and stopped it, flicking it off and putting it on to a Simpsons episode on TV as he curled me into his side, his arms wrapping protectively around my pale, ghostly skin. In those arms the gruesome messed up things I just saw almost erased themselves from my memory, fading away.

I looked up at him with a shy, nervous grin on my face as I chewed on my lower lip “There is one bad thing about living alone.” I murmured honestly.

“What’s that?” he murmured softly, reaching down and brushing a curl of my hair behind my ears.

I blushed under his touch as I reached and held one of his hands “I don’t have you here to cuddle with and hold my hand when things get hard.”

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Walking out of the school grounds on Wednesday afternoon I was more than happy to get the hell off the school grounds and just go home, maybe laze around with some movies and junk food, I had bought a tub of Nutella the other day that I had so far resisted. Maybe today I’d succumb to temptations….

“Geez, thanks for waiting.” Liam snorted sarcastically, popping out of literally nowhere and scaring the living daylights out of me as a squealed and clutched my chest. He gave me a sheepish grin as I gasped breathlessly “Sorry?” he asked rather than stated.

I rolled my eyes as I sighed raggedly thinking back on his first declaration “I didn’t think I was meant to wait for you.” I pointed out honestly.

He gave me a droll look “Oh really? I think you’ve forgotten how I’ve gone home with you after school every day since Monday.” He pointed.

I sighed as I looked at the house and pavement before us “I don’t need a babysitter.” I pointed out tiredly, it wasn’t like I was going to fall for my sperm donors tricks again, and not to mention he hadn’t came back since Liam’s hardcore blow out.

Liam shrugged stuffing his hands in his pockets “I know,” he conceded “I just don’t like you going home all day by yourself.” He admitted.

I smiled softly, I couldn’t deny his worry and protective streak touched me and made my heart swell and flutter. “You want to watch some movies?” I suggested easily, not even wanting to argue and play the macho card today.

Liam nodded smiling lazily “You got any new movies?”

I pursed my lips in thought, my eyes narrowing in like every other time I thought and focused upon something, before my eyes lit up as I remembered “Yeah! I bought 21 Jump Street and Wanderlust!” I said my smile growing larger at the memory of me buying it with my Nutella and other junk food, it was the day I had stormed in and confronted Ez and since there was a stiff stony silence I knew I wasn’t going to be having any girl nights anytime soon.

Liam rolled his eyes “Channing Tatum?” he asked with a droll look “Really? Will you ever get over that guy?”

I shook my head smile cheekily, a grin we called the Kermit the Frog grin “Nope.” I declared brightly, practically skipping as we walked back to my house.

Liam sighed dramatically but I could see the curve at his lips.

“Oh!” I gasped, my eyes growing wide with excitement “Guess what I have also?” I cried as I turned around causing him to stop abruptly, his body only a breath away.

Liam smiled at me obviously amused “I’m afraid to ask.” He teased with fake wary eyes.

I whacked him playfully “I have a stash of junk food, Nutella and chips and more chocolates and unhealthy rubbish!” I declared clapping my hands together excitedly and happily.

Liam’s eyes grew “I bags the Nutella!” he cried as we rounded onto my street.

My eyes grew “What? No fair!” I protested alarmed.

Liam sighed dramatically again “I guess I could share it, just for you.” He teased wrapping his arms around my head in almost headlock but more so affectionately.

I rolled my eyes as I fished in my pockets for the keys to the house as we stepped in through the front gate and up to the front door where I unlocked it. We didn’t say the words out loud but the both of us were more so relaxed at the sight of no one on my front doorstep like so many times before. I didn’t care though, I was content and happier if anything at the fact that I wasn’t waiting or wanting to see him on my front doorstep. A part of me wished I had taken up on my sperm donors invitation earlier so I saw his true colors earlier and moved on quicker, I felt lighter not having those ‘what if’ questions racing through my head. My scars and wounds were beginning to heal.

I stepped into the kitchen, Liam following me along lazily as he told me about this weekend’s huge football party, since they had a bye that were spending their free time wisely – apparently – and someone on the team was throwing a huge ass party that practically everyone was going to. I listened on with mild fascination as I threw my bag up onto the kitchen counter and went straight to the pantry for my stash of junk food.

“I think it’s going to be great though I mean- hey you’ve got a message on the phone!” he broke off his voice curious and I heard the dreaded beep as he pressed play.

My breath caught as I heard her voice fill the room “Hi sweetheart, I’m just calling again for my usual check in.” Her voice murmured sounding as sweet as any other caring mother; looks are always deceiving though “My case has been extended due to some new evidence bought forward, I honestly don’t know how I’m going to deal with this or how long, you know how these things are.” She murmured almost as if she was smiling in amusement at the thought. When was the last time though I’d actually seen my mother smile though?

“Of course I’ll be in touch and call you when I know, anyhow, call me if you need me sweetie okay? Bye.” She murmured before the final click met my ears and it was than the real nerves hit me, the message wasn’t anything different; short and sweet and I had myself believing these days it was all simply an act.

So what was I scared of? I was more so frightened of Liam’s reaction to listening to this, was he going to blow up like he did with my father? Liam wasn’t stupid or oblivious to my mother’s messages on my machine, he knew she left them, I just didn’t know if he knew how much they wounded me every day I listened to my mother speak as if nothing was wrong miles away from me.

My breath held and my heart smashed against my ribs, them protesting as the blood pumping in my body made it hard to hear anything but the rush of it. My fingers curled around the Nutella jar and I could see my knuckles flash a pale white, I don’t think I could deal with Liam raging again nor did I think I could deal with another emotional slam. I’ve experienced enough to last me entire lifetime to put me on one of those couches you see people sit on when they go to a shrink.

Liam’s snort met my ears “She still leaves them?”

I sighed a breathlessly sigh of relief, oxygen finding my starved lungs when I found no yelling or screaming from him. I picked up the jar and piled all the other junk food I could find in front of me in my arms as I kicked the pantry door shut and wavered and stumbled my way cautiously over to Liam by the counter, dumping them on the bench.

I nodded my lips twitching faintly as I ran my fingers through my hair “Yeah, every day right at around three thirty.” I murmured as I turned towards the cupboards to find some glasses.

“Does she know about Anthony?” he asked his voice tentative to ask. Apparently the both of us were treading on toes around each other and yet on a completely different side of the scale we were being more open and honest with each other than we had ever before.

I shook my head with my back to him “Nope.” I said easily as I popped the ‘p’.

“So,” he trailed off pausing “you told nobody about him?” he asked if anything sounding astounded.

I looked over at him with a frown, looking at him perplexed “Why would have I told her? What would she have done?” I watched as he looked down frowning, caught between looking as if he had been slapped in the face and surly. I laughed shortly and humoursly at his expression “What?” I asked.

He shook his head sadly catching me off guard “I hate it, you know?”

I pulled my arm away from the cupboard, the glasses forgotten as I practically froze by his words. I walked over towards him slowly, watching as he sat on the stool by the kitchen bar “You hate what?” I breathed frightened by his words.

“How much I take everything for granted at home, how you have to stay here all alone constantly, how I’ve become so….insensitive of what you deal with constantly sweetheart.” He murmured his voice thick with regret, his voice sounding agonized as he clutched his head, it bowed down almost guiltily.

I smiled softly at him, affectionately, my heart swelling. This boy… “Liam it’s alright, my problems and life aren’t yours.” I reassured him “I’m used to this life, honestly.” I insisted, and I was, I was eighteen, of course I was used to living on my own now, a part of me kind of enjoyed it more if anything; it was better to live in a house alone than to live with someone who would most likely ignore you, right?

Liam shook his head “Still, why don’t you just move in at home with us? You’re basically already are.” It was true, before all this drama went down and there became all these lies and secrets I stayed there constantly, if it wasn’t for the night it was ‘till the latest hours imaginable.

I smiled faintly “I know the offer stands Liam,” I murmured as I turned back to the cupboard to fetch the glasses again “and I love all of you guys for that, but I also like being home here too; my own space and all my stuff is here.” I said honestly, as much as I loved the Cormack family but it was always nice to come how to your own bed and breathe in your own space on your own – sometimes all you needed was yourself.

Liam’s brow furrowed deeper as he rubbed the inside corners of his eyes, looking more exhausted and weary than ever “I get that, I do. I just…”

“What?” I asked frowning, wanting him to just spit it out.

He shook his head as if wanting the exact same thing as I “You may enjoy it here but don’t you want to….let out some of that anger, get things off your chest? Like you did with your father?”

His question pulled me up short; did I want to unleash that rage? In somewhat way moving on once I spoke the truth of all the pain and rejection inflicted upon me from also my mother’s desertion? I hadn’t really thought of it, hell I tried with all my might to even ignore the swarming questions within me that asked what would happen between my mother and I once I moved out and moved onto the next stage of my life; would I still get messages on my phone or would we entirely be lost to one another?

I sat the glass over by him at the bench with all his junk food, frowning at him “And say what?” I asked unsure of what I’d even say, what do you say to a mother who practically deserted you and can’t even look at you because you remind them of their past demons?

Liam shrugged “I don’t know,” he admitted as I walked over to the fridge to grab the bottle of Coca Cola “maybe just tell her how she’s hurt you too, make her realize you’re not going to take it and she’s going to lose you – it may just be the wakeup call she needs.”

I shook my head laughing humoursly “When am I ever going to even see her?” I asked him pointedly as I looked over my shoulder at him.

Liam hesitated for a while before he reached over for the cordless phone and held it out to me “She said to call you when you need her.” He murmured knowingly.

I gulped as I looked at this phone feeling the exact same amount of fear and dread as I did when I went to the café with my father. This was really a make it or break it moment; either it’d help the dwindling fragile relationship between my mother or all ties will be cut as I hear the truth. Was I ready to risk that? Was I ready to hear the truth that may even break me?

 “I’m here you know.” He murmured reassuringly making my eyes to snap up to his own as I had been looking at the phone as if it was a snake ready to strike.

I nodded shortly, almost a blunt jab and that was it as I picked up the phone and dialed. I’m not sure exactly why I did it; maybe it was because Liam had opened my eyes and was right and I want answers and even maybe closure, maybe it was knowing Liam was there that egged me or maybe simply it was not wanting to back down and let him see fully just how utterly terrified I was of dialing the numbers and calling. And yet that was exactly what I was doing.

I released a shaky breath at the sound of it ringing almost mind piercingly loud in my ear, the slightest sound around me suddenly had me anxious and holding my breath. My body was stiff with anticipation, a large part of me praying with every part of me that she didn’t answer, that she just ignored me like she’d been doing all this time.

 “Hello?” her voice answered, my stilled heart thrashing suddenly, sprinting. She sounded hesitant, weary and confused; I couldn’t deny that this wasn’t something usual or normal for me to do, this was just as bizarre for her too. It was like stepping into an all new place, another country.

I ran my tongue along my suddenly dry lips, clearing my throat roughly to the point it almost hurt “H-hi.” I stuttered my tongue suddenly tied as my brain froze. What do I say? Was all I could scream desperately at myself, begging for help as my brain shut down on me.

“Melissa sweetie, is that you?” she asked, her voice still sounding unsure.

I nodded before I realized stupidly that she couldn’t see me “Yeah, it’s me m-mum.” I stammered.

“Oh, what’s wrong?” she asked “Is everything alright sweetheart?” she asked, worry entering her voice. Was it a bad thing that she instantly thought something was wrong when I called?

I shook my head, clearing my dry throat again “No.” I croaked.

“Well than what’s up?” she asked, her voice seeming softer, unsure again.

“Da- Anthony came by the other day.” I answered the first thing coming to my mind so I didn’t have to speak the actual truth of why I called.

I was met by a piercing silence.

“Mum?” I asked anxiously.

“I-I’m here sweetie.” she murmured, her breath shakily. I felt guilty at the wobble in her voice, I had witnessed firsthand before the impacts he had upon her damaged and frail heart and I had again just helped him drive another knife through her heart, and probably more to come. “Just the once?” she asked, clearing her voice as she composed herself, that strong and courageous persona back.

I cleared my throat guiltily and nervously “Actually…”

“How many times Melissa?” she asked again, her voice this time with a mothers’ sternness. She has always called me Melissa and never Mel, but this was different.

“Over two weeks ago.” I murmured dejectedly, feeling like a child caught out and being scolded. Was it bizarre and wrong of me to relish that feeling and find myself missing those moments of life, of childhood?

“Melissa!” she cried almost aghast “You should have told me sooner!” she scolded disappointedly.

“Well we haven’t been talking.” I mumbled sulkily, not even caring that it was a part of my agenda as Liam had suggested but rather defending myself like any person caught out.

“What does he want?” she asked me, her voice softer as she avoided my last statement, the weight of it.

“He wants…he wants your money.” I breathed it being my turn now to have the feeble voice.

“Oh sweetie.” She breathed breathlessly, sympathetically with sadness, as if she felt guilty or sorry I had to deal with that. Well she must feel something for me if she sounded like that, right?

“Don’t.” I stressed.

“Don’t what?” she asked softly, confused.

“Don’t act as if you really care.” I whispered, the truth of my words bringing a stab to my heart.

“Melissa I-“

“Mum stop acting for one moment, we haven’t spoken even over the phone in weeks, months. You honestly can’t talk to me and act as if we’ve got the mother daughter relationship everybody wants.” I argued softly.

I was met by a ragged, shaky exhale.

I didn’t give her time to reply though “I can’t keep doing this.” I breathed “I can’t have two parents that feel like they can just…turn their backs on me without facing the truth.” I looked up at Liam shyly who gave me a reassuring nod “The truth is, I’ve needed a mum for so long now, I’ve needed a mum from the very day my dad walked out and left me – I’ve needed my mum.” I breathed, my voice shaking and breaking as I felt the tears well and build deep within me, pooling in the corners of my eyes.

“I ignored it before, I pretended I didn’t care, hell I even gave you time to get over him but…I’ve had enough.” I’ve whispered brokenly through the phone “I’ve had enough of facing all this alone, to coming home alone and hearing nothing from you.” I cried, the tears finally falling “I needed to get over him to you know? I had to do that all on my own because both of my parents abandoned me, both!”

I inhaled sharply, the pain so searing to not only my suffocating lungs but also to my heart “You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most when it seemed you could be anywhere else but here.” I whispered raggedly, Liam reaching over and squeezing my hand reassuringly as he tugged me closer to the bench that was in between us, still giving me space but being there “And I’m not sure I need you anymore since I’ve gotten used to it, I’m not sure I can even trust you.” I broke, my voice breaking as sniffled as the tears clouded my vision.

My gaze never strayed from my joined hand with Liam’s. It than dawned on me that I may never need her because I would always have Liam…

“Yet after all of it…I still love you,” I whispered laughing humoursly, the honesty even seeming bizarre to me “and when you can acknowledge the fact that you have a daughter that needs her mum you know where to find me.” I choked “I just hope when you realize that you get back here in time be-“ I broke off, breaking on sobs as I cried through the phone “because I can't wait for you forever."

“Me-“

Cutting her off before she could even respond I pulled the phone away and clicked ‘end’ to the call knowing damn well that right now in this moment, having spoken such gut wrenchingly truthful words and unleashing these all new pent up emotions I wouldn’t be able to stay on the phone and listen, or wait for the words I needed more than ever to hear.

Startling me – my constricted throat able still to let go a soft gasp – arms wrapped snugly around me from behind me drawing my back into Liam’s front and he simply just held me. What I needed after all of this time was someone to just hold me and make me feel safe and secure, for once in my life to not feel alone in this should crushing world. And Liam knew that, like everything else he knew about me he knew I just needed to be held, and he just held me there, clutching me tight as I cried softly.

My old self would have shied away from his affection, especially allowing him to see me in such a vulnerable position. Hell I would have towards anyone. That was most likely why he held me from behind, giving me the choice of deciding when my limits where reached. Yet right than, right now, having faced two of my most feared demons of my dark past within just a few days and knowing he was there, having heard his promises and his sweet words it was obvious times had changed, I had changed.

I turned around in his arms than – needing him more than anything and able to admit it, able to offload the strain and emotional havoc upon him – I wrapped my arms around him tightly, clutching him tightly as I buried my face in his chest, burying it deep as I continued to cry my heart out. He held me back tightly, clutching me tight as a hand of his curled deeply in my hair and the other wrapped around my back, clutching me tight as if fearing I’d be torn or away or break into shards and yet that was something very much possible to happen to me.

He rocked me gently on the spot as he kissed the crown of my head, holds his lips there as he mumbled to me “Shit sweetheart, did I do the right thing here?” he murmured gently.

I nodded sniffling “Yes.” I gasped muffled into his shirt as I clutched and curled my fingers into his shirt, never wanting to let go from this haven, his haven “It’s for the best, I feel better, it’s just….”

“It’s a hard thing to do.” He finished for me as I found no words to cover what I felt in this moment “It’s alright sweetheart, it’s hard I know, but I’m here.” He cooed sweetly to me, his arms flexing even tighter around me.

I nodded crying into his shirt as my fingers curled tighter, he was always helping me; always being the Prince Charming that Erin gushed and read about. Could it be possible that he was after all real? Was it possible that my Prince Charming could be Liam?

The thought of Erin had my gut churning, my heart dropping to the floor. Erin and my own conversations and friendship since I confronted her had been practically nonexistent, she was ignoring me and I knew deep down she was mad at me for even suggesting to her to seek help. In such a short amount of time the roles of the both of us had reversed; suddenly I was the dreamer and relying and opening to others and she was the stubborn fool convinced she could take on the world alone. I knew deep down she was embarrassed and nervous to speak up and tell the truth and just wanted things to be smoothed over and forgotten.

But I couldn’t do that anymore, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. My entire life I had been biting my tongue and braving things on my own and more than ever did I realize what that did to you; you ended up where I was now; everything bottled up breaking and falling into a wild and messy breakdown. I shouldn’t have kept my mouth shut the day and night she told me the truth and deleted that video, since than I discovered more things Erin neglected to tell me; like the threats and being hit more than once, the threats to Eli and how this wasn’t over as much as she insisted it was. Most importantly though I couldn’t lie to Liam or Eli when more than anyone else they deserved to know the truth, to help her and not be lied to when they were worrying so much; I had lied and held my tongue my entire life and look where that led me, it obviously wasn’t healthy or right.

Standing there in Liam’s arms, thinking of him as my Prince and wanting him as my Prince I knew that if I wanted him as my Prince I needed to earn it.

My shoulders squared as he held me, my decision made and as I felt him tense at my words I knew deep down no matter where for the best “Liam, you’ve helped me and I think it’s time for me to help you.”

Liam paused, frowning he pulled back looking down at me, his fingers curling under my chin and curling my head back to look up at him “Help me how?” he asked confused, wary.

“Next time you see Erin,” I breathed, my heart lodging in my throat “ask her how she got her bruises.”

I knew these words were for the best and yet I could only pray that after all my mistakes and my betrayal to him he could still keep his main promise to me; never turning his back on the foolish girl madly in love with him.

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