“Don’t you find it funny that you’re meant to be learning about maths but instead your sitting in a tree like a sloth?” I quirked as I kicked my legs back and forth in the breeze lazily as I looked over the multiple questions we still had left.

I could practically hear Eli shrug as he answered “I’d prefer monkey.”

I laughed “Sure baboon, get that red ass over here.” I commanded.

Eli chuckled and with a loud thud I knew he was back on the ground before he laid down beside me in the long green grass, joining me as we laid on our stomachs kicking our feet back and forth lazily in the breeze.

“I love this place.” Eli murmured with a soft smile as he glanced up at the huge weeping willow that cocooned us in like we were in our own personal globe.

My lips quirked “Well you’re not going to like your mark on your next maths test if you don’t study.” I pointed out through a pointed stern glare.

Eli rolled his eyes in exasperation “It’s negative forty two, happy?”

I gaped at him “I didn’t even ask the question!”

Eli shrugged as he rolled onto his back beside me, throwing his hands behind his head lazily and carefree – and though I wouldn’t admit it – looking like an utter and complete god. “You’re just a great tutor.”

I rolled my eyes “Nice try baboon, you looked at the answers in the back didn’t you?” I demanded.

Eli quirked his bottom lip into a cheeky and amused smile “Me? Never, your brother though….” He trailed off chuckling. “Look,” he said easily seeing my stern glare “relax will you, what’s the next question?” he asked to soothe my worry. One of us had to worry when he had an exam tomorrow morning and he hadn’t even studied yet, the moron.

I sighed before turning back to the question and reading the question out loud and before I could even work out the question Eli answered it. I narrowed my eyes at him “You so cheated.” I accused as with a huff I flicked the page to find a different question he didn’t know the answer to.

We kept at it for a while then, me firing questions and him answering with ease. Too much ease. By the end I was grumpy and huffing in frustration, feeling slightly put out and competitive I admit as I looked away from him with a pout.

Eli chuckled as he turned his head and looked up at him “Alright, alright I’ll tell you a secret.”

My head snapped towards him with eager eyes “You did cheat didn’t you!” I cried smugly feeling not as stupid or slow anymore.

Eli rolled his eyes “No, the reason why I asked for you to tutor me wasn’t for tutoring. Rather I just wanted to spend the day with tutor girl….” He trailed off with a smile.

I narrowed my eyes disbelieving at first, than seeing the sincerity in his eyes they softened to feeling shy, touched and giddy with happiness than right back to disbelieving and narrowed again.

“And to ask her if she’d share this awesome spot with me?” he added on cheekily late as he taunted me.

“I will,” I agreed playing dirty myself “as long as you pass your maths test.”

“Shit!” he proclaimed grandly, over exaggerating as he scampered back over onto his stomach, clawing the textbook towards him desperately as I giggled in laughter clutching my stomach “What the hell is Polynomials?”

          ೋღ♥ ღೋ ೋღ♥ ღೋ ೋღ♥ ღೋ ೋღ♥ ღೋ ೋღ♥ ღೋ ೋღ♥ ღೋ

I groaned in frustration at myself, sniffling softly as I wiped under my eyes in agitation that I was sick of and still unable to rid since the argument that’d happened less than an hour ago. I tugged my large cardigan down over my fingers curling them in the sleeves tightly, like gloves as I continued editing a whole bunch of photos that I had taken whilst keeping myself out of the house and certain people’s way, photos that I was more proud of than anything else that I had done in a long time.

I startled grandly at the touch of a hand rolling down from the top of my shoulder and to my hand, their fingers weaving and curling about mine in what would appear such a passionate and strong hold. Their hand that held mine now had control of the mouse attached to my laptop and they moved it about on the screen, the entire time their warm breath tickling the back of my neck and leaving me utterly and completely breathless as a wave of warmth wrapped snuggly around me.

Eli.

He fiddled about a bit until an image I had just been editing before this one – telling me exactly how long they’d been in this room for which was truly long enough – enlarged itself upon my screen. He hummed softly in the back of his throat as he rested his chin on the crown of my head “You went to the weeping willow recently?” he murmured softly.

My eyes fluttered closed upon their own accord as the movement of his jaw had his body vibrating against mine, the feeling surprisingly lulling, comforting. I repressed the urge to lean back upon him, giving him the weight, but rather instead force my eyes opened as I hummed shyly in agreement as I looked up at the image I had taken and edited of the weeping willow.

The weeping willow’s dreary grayish-green leaves cascaded down upon the ground lethargically as if returning home from war and finally had given up, his branches and leaves seemed to have fallen down and curled over so deep that they even fell beyond the earth’s surface and sunk all the way down to Hade’s Underworld. The angle of the shot with the sun beneath the rise of the willow’s home had a dreary and depressing undertone and that day taking that image I vividly remember wanting to show other’s not even how the willow constantly felt depressed low but how I was just like that tree. It felt silly to feel similarities between an old tree and yet I took comfort upon that.

“It’s funny; I don’t remember our willow being so gloomy.” Eli murmured softly, his back brushing my own.

I shrugged awkwardly, not wanting to startle him as he rest upon the top of my head “Things change.” I murmured softly.

“But do you remember one of the first times we saw old man Willow?” he asked softly, his other hand wrapping around the other side of my body as he opened Facebook up upon my internet browser and began to type in his own account address. His hands locked me in snugly between him, no chance of escape as he pressed tighter upon my back as he leant over me and type on the keys, his breath tickling me. “Because I remember vividly one of the many days we had all hung out there and I’ve got to say I remember old man Willow being a lot stronger than that image there.” He continued talking as his warm breath tickled the back of my ear and with everything within me I fought down a shiver.

I shrugged weakly “Maybe he’s just getting old?” I asked rather than stated, trying not to even think about how much I truly loved and cherished the feel of his arms wrapped around me once again.

“Nah,” Eli shook off drawing it out to my somewhat amusement “those trees have got to live to a million years old, at least.” He laughed softly under his breath, the feel of his laughter at the nape of my neck wracking a shiver fiercely through me. Eli in response wrapped the one hand not on the mouse around my stomach from behind me, casually resting upon their as his thumb drew back and forth.

And this was going to stop the shivering how?

“Now this,” Eli murmured with emphasis as I fought everything within me not to swallow harshly “is how I remember our old man Willow.” He said with a final click to the mouse and a photo on screen showed up.

My lips tipped automatically, it was a photo of our gang, the four of us. It was just one random afternoon when we used to always and constantly hang out, when there was no tension and buried deep feelings and emotions, when school, family and social clicks hadn’t pulled us apart. It was of the very same willow that Eli and I had discovered one day when he had asked my help for tutoring and after that day of so called study we had bought Mel and Liam back so many times. That day it was a warm autumn day and we had rested under their in its shade and silky breeze playing Monopoly since apparently girls didn’t and couldn’t play card games well to Mel’s chagrin. Eli had found my camera and I remember vividly the excitement we all exclaimed upon his suggestion for a group photo.

The image was so rich and busy with happiness, like it was literally screaming and laughing with joy still at us as we looked at it. The leaves were changing and instead of the usual red and burnt orange hues this one was a golden crispy yellow that looked soft and gentle upon a distance but up close looked crunchy and crispy. The photo was at the time a failure but now one I cherish the most, there were Mel and Liam on the left hand side of the tree the two monkeys both sitting high up in one of the stronger branches. As usual they were bickering but it was their large cheeky grins and animated expressions that couldn’t help but have you also beaming and laughing as if you knew the inside joke.

Then there was Eli and I and no matter how many times I looked at us it made my heart swell with love and sheer light pleasant hope. The photo was of Eli sitting up on the right side of the willow on a high branch, kneeling cautiously as he reached down with one hand to help me up with that tender sweet smile of his. I was still on the ground having had to run from the camera set up on a pile of ours bags, board games and junk and put on a timer. I stood at the base of the tree with one hand running my fingers through my hair looking so light and carefree as I smiled up at him with a shy smile I recognized as my hand was in the process of reaching up for his.

In that photo we had failed at posing and yet taking away that whole stoic clichéd poses just as much as clichéd as chorusing back ‘cheese’ it wiped aside the posing to reveal the reality. The photo had captured as all right to our very souls, it was almost like a profile page on the each of us individually and it was a constant proof of how photos could literally tell you thetruth.

Eli sighed happily, almost dreamily “This is one of my favorite photos.”

I smiled faintly “Same.” Was all I murmured but it was me gesturing to the very same photo framed and sitting grandly on my desk that said more than any other word.

Eli sighed softly, his thumb on stroke forty five – that I had been subconsciously and greedily counting – stopping as he righted himself and stood straighter as I was almost waiting for the awkward clearing of the throat. I watched as Eli ran his hands through his caramel brown hair as walked over to the edge of my bed and sat down on the end of it and collapsed on it, holding his hands in front of him, his arms resting on his knees.

The way he was sitting alone in that manly sexy manner and the thought of the last time he sat on that bed we made love and I lost my virginity simply had my insides swirling. Thoughts and flashbacks of that night had me quivering with….desire and a burning of lust. A foreign feeling I had never felt with Jed ever before. The thought of where his hands had wandered that night, his lips on mine, that tongue of his…. If I was honest with myself in that moment I simply needed him and that sheer simple demand was frightening to me having never experienced such wanton need before.

I couldn’t help finding it so amusing and yet find myself also stupid at my constant discoveries of what Jed had never done for me physically and emotionally in our so called relationship. How had I ever believed it was a fairy tale? Comparing him to Eli when we weren’t even dating was such a laughable matter. After all, it was Eli sitting before me on the very same bed we’d made love and looking at me, caring about me despite my brutal actions. That was the difference though, I truly did love Eli, not just the image or the figment of him but I loved him body and soul.

This was real, true love.

“What took you so long?” I whispered softly, turning to face him as I let the heartache shine through like the sun in that sunny autumn day.

Eli looked at me curiously, his gaze searching my own as he answered gently “The girl I know would have been hiding out at a library or bookstore – so that’s where I went.”

“I don’t read.”

“Oh really?” He challenged, sounding bemused until he caught the serious expression upon my face as I stared stonily down at my feet. “Since when?” he asked, speaking up again but all seriousness now as he went back to soul searching, as if it was a priority for him to still care despite me tearing his heart to shreds like a wild beast.

I shrugged saying nothing more.

I watched as his gaze flickered over to my two huge bookshelves and his face to completely fall into a frown when he found them not overflowing and full but rather completely barren. His eyes almost bugged comically and he glanced around frantically until his gaze landed on the four boxes in the doorway closed up and full of every single book I’ve ever owned.

“Baby….” He breathed breathlessly, in disbelief and unaware of his endearment.

I looked away stubbornly; I was doing the utter and completely right thing. I didn’t want them anymore and I certainly didn’t want to be the naive dreamer I was that led me to where I was right now – broken and battered.

“Ez what on earth is going on?” Eli asked beyond worried and bewildered, he sounded genuinely speechless and petrified.

I shrugged indifferently, playing with the huge chunky ring on my finger “I’m taking them to a second hand bookshop tomorrow after school.”

“What? Why?” he spluttered over his words as if someone had literally slapped him.

I shook my head shrugging, saying utterly nothing. It wasn’t exactly something I wanted to or could discuss with Eli.

Eli got up saying nothing or letting onto any of his thoughts, slowly he walked about my room and paused only for a second by my two huge barren bookshelves until he kept walking about my room looking at all the things that depicted a part of my soul. It was as if he was looking at me completely naked. Eli treated it the same almost, he walked around with this fond curiosity as he stopped to pick up random things and then put them back as he moved onto the next thing. I couldn’t help but note in the back of my head how he had made my room which had felt so empty – especially having once emptied my shelves of my books – feel so much fuller, complete and simply right.

Eli walked over and paused behind me as his eyes roamed the shelves on that, full of photography related books of photos taken by others, how to with editing for certain programs, editing program documents and even more photography related things. Then there was all my school work and stationary, my laptop, CD’s, DVD’s and a couple other random things. Apparently though it was the DVD’s that caught Eli’s attention as he leant around me, his spicy manly scent tickling my nose as he reached out and grabbed a movie.

“Here.” He said casually, as if I hadn’t just told him I was selling my stash of pure gold and treasures for unknown reasons “Pop that on.” He murmured placing the DVD in my lap.

I frowned with lost hopes as I looked down at the DVD, the corner of my lips tugging up at the movie that I held in my hands, a guilty pleasure that was just as dreamy and hope lifting as my stories – The Notebook.

I looked over him with a quizzical expression as I pursed my lips at him “You don’t like The Notebook.” I pointed out simply.

Eli looked over at me amused “You’re going to knock back the chance of watching this with me?” his gorgeous smile growing.

I laughed softly “To see you cry like a baby? Never.”

“Alright, well get moving.” He urged me on with a wave of his hands as I quickly put the disc in my laptop and skipped over to my bed.

I hesitated by my bed, looking at it in fear as I gulped. We were going to watch one of the biggest chick flicks on my bed, together? This couldn’t end well….

Climbing up onto my bed at first things were certainly….awkward. We sat at a fair distances, our backs both resting against the headboards and there definitely was no skin brushing each other. There was enough distance between us to put Moses and his Red Sea to complete and utter shame and shambles. The lights we even left on despite the glare and we were in a stony silence and I knew deep down that our thoughts – mine for certain – weren’t on Noah and Allie and their hardship but rather how utterly breathless Eli left me when his hands had run up the inside of my thigh and parted my legs…

I don’t know when exactly things changed and I actually relaxed and sated very little but at least some of the pleas deep within. I would presume it would have been when Eli got up to close the bedroom door when I stiffened at the sound of my brother stepping through the house’s front door and in that moment he flicked the lights off too. Maybe it was relying on his strength with the jumpy nerves within or maybe it was since the lights were out I couldn’t – especially he couldn’t – trace and watch my every movement because they weren’t as obvious in the dark.

Either way I was smiling and feeling giddy with glee when I found myself lying on my bed curled into Li’s side with my head resting on my hand on Eli’s chest actually watching The Notebook. I was nestled there in content and for the first time peaceful expression upon my face where there were no spiraling thoughts, worries or doubts but rather blissful silence and content. I wanted to stay that way forever with Li’s forefinger and thumb rubbing a lock of my hair between the pads of those fingers and as my head rose and fell with the gentle thrum of the very heart that he had offered me.

I sat there watching the main characters fall in and out of love, cry with empty and broken hopes and dreams as they fought the hardships of life and I couldn’t help the smile slithered along my lips as I watched on. If that could happen why can’t we happen? I thought longingly as I watched the film.

All this Jed drama was over, I had ended it with him and the video was deleted, there was nothing holding me back except mine and Eli’s broken heart and distrust…

But how do you mend a battered and bruised heart?

***

“I can’t believe you broke again.” Eli laughed softly as he got up off the bed and stretched, crossing the room to flick on the lights.

I sniffled shyly and embarrassed as I wiped the tears from my eyes “I always cry.” I pointed out honestly.

Eli smiled faintly flicking the lights on and looking back at me with gentle hooded eyes that instantly had me wishing the movie never ended but rather continued on ‘till it was Eli and I wrapped and curled up together ‘till we passed on together, just like in the movie.

Eli walked back towards me with that faint smile of his as he caught my face in his large hands as his rough thumb ran the tears away, brushing them away as he murmured to me “It’s not sad Ez, it’s a love story not a tragedy.”

“I know.” I choked, thinking back to the ending scene that instantly had my eyes pooling “It’s just…beautiful.”

Eli’s lip tipped “Mmmm,” he hummed and without even thinking it through – which I knew after watching his eyes grow in alarm – he bent down and brushed his lips over my forehead “there’s my dreamer.”

I blushed shyly as I knelt on my knees before him on my bed, him standing before me as I tugged on his shirt subconsciously “Li?” I whispered hesitantly, the question bursting to be asked – especially at the glance of sheer gut wrenching shock upon his face at his previous gesture. Was he repulsed? Did he not mean that?

“Yeah?” he whispered back softly.

“A-are we cool?” I whispered tentatively, unsure if I should have even mentioned all that happened “I-I mean are you okay with us being….”

“Friends?” Eli supplied with a searching gaze.

I kept my face perfectly clean of all disappointed or broken shards of hope that came crushing down as I nodded chewing on my lower lip, struggling to keep his gaze “Yeah….as friends.” I whispered the word like poison on my tongue.

Eli paused for a moment saying nothing until his fingers tugged at my shirt through my cardigan a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I frowned puzzled as I looked down to blush a bloody crimson as I found that it was his shirt that I had kept and clung to since that amazing night.

“Yeah,” he smiled beautifully “we’re going to be just fine.”

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