“Oh gobstoppers! Can I have one? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?” I begged and pleaded with the boys as they walked in and threw themselves down at the table.

I sat my book down and aside as I looked up, forgetting the book as I looked at their bag full of sweets that made me drool. I seriously just wanted some sweets, what else would an eight year old want?

Liam rolled his eyes as he threw another sweet in his mouth “Nup.” He said smugly with a Kermit the frog like grin.

“Why not?” I whined, reaching out my hand and batting my lashes.

“Because, I paid for them.” He said back with that know it all voice of his.

“But I’m your sister!” I cried throwing my hands up in the air, aggravated.

“Yeah, my annoying sister!” he threw back as he ate another one.

“Annoying? I’m not annoying! Why? What’d I do?” I demanded, unsure if I wanted to cry or scream at him for being so mean. Just because he won our maths test the other day in class didn’t make him any better.

“Because you….you suck!” he declared fighting for a reason “So just go back and finish reading your book!”

I stuck out my tongue at him before sulking and pulling open my book to read it, hiding behind the book to cover my cheeky little smile. Because with one hand under the table Eli was sliding sweets into my hand.

                                                ೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋ

When did I become so different? I mused to myself as I stared at myself in the mirror, getting ready for tonight that hopefully be the last night of hell before everything could become utter and content bliss again.

I hadn’t exactly planned to drag Mel into any of this let alone anyone else but the more time wore on the more and more I’m realizing that a lot of what’s going through my head is more so a quick snap decision, I made it up as I went. My plan at the end was deal with Jed and his ways ‘till I deleted the videos to save her hide and embarrassment, a way of silently paying my dues and then all could go back to the way it was.

How naive was I?

Things had gone reasonably well, still perfectly fine and smooth. It was more so the finer details I hadn’t really thought through. Jed and his ways really wasn’t the blunder of the thing, he had hit me less than five times he wasn’t a maniac that got a thrill from it nor was he out of control. He was still somewhat the Jed I had fallen in love with and being around him at times when he was his usually bubbly, laughing self and being sweet with me, joking and smiling it was easy to forget those few hits and those random spurts of anger and remember why I had fallen in love with him. At first those moments where I was relaxed and content around Jed angered me beyond belief at how weak I was to be so relaxed around him after he had hit me. Soon though I realized I wasn’t weak, I just realized that no matter what a part of me would always love Jed, the Jed I fell in love with before he had turned into this person, the person that hit me.

I couldn’t pin point – and I don’t think I ever would – what had trigged Jed to change so drastically, to make him so angry and callous. When he had asked me out he was one of the most loved guys in school, played sports and sure he wasn’t getting top grades but he still showed up to school withthat charming smile of his. I had known he had a couple flings here and there but he respected my wishes to take it slow to earn my trust. And he did earn my trust, along with my heart and things were sweet, a beautiful clichéd story you read with the popular hottie falling in love with the geek with a book in hand.

As I reflect though I could pick up on the changes that slowly but surely took place, the first one was us drifting apart, the increase of party scene which included the increase of the intake of cigarettes and alcohol. His friends changed and soon Falan went from someone he didn’t even know to his best friend, his other mates from the team basically ditched and ignored. Then there was the fact that when we were out or we hung out it was usually at a party so we weren’t never really alone until he’d try and get me in one of the empty rooms for some real alone time. That’s where the pressuring for sex became more, one second he’d be frustrated and angry that I’d deny him and the next he’d be all calm and considerate, saying it was fine and when I was ready. That’s when I began to realize his bizarre mood swings from gentleman to rather abrupt and rude; he never was extreme enough though, if he was I would have ended us a long time ago. It was his new behavior that was when my feelings for him began to simmer gradually and I was pulling away also, he never protested though nor missed my company or my excuses. He never complained though, what with his Nan sick causing chaos in the family and his football training.

His absence was a pleasure.

Yet it wasn’t until I was hit and blackmailed that I finally realized how much I didn’t love him anymore, how much we had drifted and how much he had changed. I presume I just didn’t want to see it, I didn’t want to see the sweet beautiful man I fell in love with to have turned into this person with violent mood swings who now made me crinkle my nose what smelling of cigarettes and just looking grimy. He still looked handsome yet now he had this edge to him that just seemed….unhealthy.

I could see it now though and I wanted out, my goal was to get rid of those videos and maybe along the way make them realize that they weren’t all that, that they couldn’t get away with it and dictate to everyone else whilst abusing their power and scary sides. I wanted to do this on my own without the help of police or such, this was something personal and I felt like to redeem myself, to find myself I needed to do this on my own.

Another, deeper, part of me though couldn’t openly admit it but mentally could that I wanted to do it this way because I didn’t want to be the girl that was hit by her boyfriend, who was blackmailed and ran to the cops. I didn’t want people to look at me differently, especially Eli. Would he think little of me even more that I had fallen in love with a violent man? Would he look at me like filth after he knew? Or would he even look at me thinking I was weak and blind, naive and able to walk all over?

Either way, tonight all my plans should go right, I’d get to the party and when able to, hopefully when drunk I’d simply take his phone, delete and sneak out without him knowing. I wasn’t going to let him know I deleted it; it only created the chance to put those violent mood swings to use on me again.

As I was getting ready I shimmied myself into my little black dress of choosing, darker colors I decided was going to be use if I wanted to blend in. besides, I truly wanted to wear this dress that had been sitting in the back of my cupboard. It was short, I could admit it and I was hoping I didn’t pass Liam on my way out because he’d make me march right back to my room and change. It was just above mid thigh and at moments it made me feel a little conscious, the rest of the time I simply felt daring and sexy if I was honest. That I could admit was the doing of Eli, he made me feel gorgeous and loved and gave me the biggest confident boost and I loved it. if it wasn’t for him I don’t think I’d be this strong person I had become because of Jed, I’d be still sniveling in the corner, being Jed’s little lap dog.

The dress was a crumpled type fabric that bunched up rather than smooth, I paired them with red heels that wrapped around my ankles and were high and I loved them. They were so worth the massive blunder to my account. The top of the dress was a sweetheart line that sat snugly and rather rightly to my form, I left my hair out in a tangle of curls and such and lastly red lips and some hoop earrings. I don’t know why I put such an effort in, maybe it’d make it easier to seduce Jed if needed to be? Or maybe I just wanted a secret way of celebrating my soon to be freedom? Either way I didn’t care.

Walking down the hall slowly and silently, being careful to not run into Liam I breathed a soft breath of relief as I got out the front door unnoticed or caught. It was dark outside, it was near nine o’clock and I was late, having promised to meet Jed there at eight o’clock. However I had been distracted and I simply didn’t need to be there early, by now Jed should have a fair bit of alcohol in his system making all things quicker and easier for me.

As I got in the taxi I had called and gave him the street address I sat in the back righting my dress so the guy couldn’t look up my dress. I didn’t know if he was that much of a pervert but I wasn’t going to chance it. It was as I was righting myself though that my phone vibrated and my stomach knotted at who it possibly could have been.

I knew it wasn’t Eli, he had stopped calling and texting me. No, I had hurt Eli so much with my actions that his trust and his heart was so brutally wounded he couldn’t simply chance it. I didn’t blame him either, I had gotten with Jed first, than slept with Eli promising him my heart, turned around and stayed with Jed and ignored him, treating him like the plague. Than when he finally trapped him we had sex in the supply room and I told him I didn’t love him and it was all a mistake. I wasn’t stupid, my bipolar and yo-yo like actions towards him would make any man wounded and confused, not willing to take the risk of being shot down again. I had wounded Eli beyond means and I honestly didn’t know if he’d ever be able to forgive me for that, it killed me knowing that I had hurt him so.

I prayed that in time he’d cool down and be calm enough to at least hear him out, but the most befuddling part of it all was how was I going to convince him that I was serious when I pledged for his heart and soul when I couldn’t tell him the truth? I wasn’t stupid, I knew I was beyond lucky to convince Mel not to go to the cops after all I told her today and she still may go with a random snap decision. Yet if I told Eli there’d be no hesitation, he’d murder Jed along the way too. I knew I couldn’t tell him the truth of all that had gone on, so how was I going to get Eli’s broken heart to trust me when I couldn’t even tell him the truth?

I had little time to dwell on that though, I had to focus on the now and after tonight than I’d be focusing on rekindling and fixing all the faults and breaks between those I had hurt, my brother, Mel, my parents and most especially Eli. The man I loved more than anything else, and showed me truly what love was.

Sighing softly I brushed my hair over one shoulder as I fished my phone out of my clutch and took a look at the text.

Jed: Hey babe, where are you? Are you alright? XO

The text message bought an onslaught of emotions to churn within me, starting with how sweet and grammatically fine that text message was. To write that, let alone such a sweet and long message he’d have to be still be fairly damn sober so I’d have to either get him really drunk quick or find another way of getting his phone out of his pockets.

I couldn’t help but note also how sweet that text message was, I couldn’t help but the pang of sadness it elicited from me, what had happened to the sweet boy I had fallen in love with? A strong part of me wanted to help him, to right him solely for the fact that he once was someone important to me and he would always be someone I loved, just not like I used and nowhere near as how much Eli held my heart. Why couldn’t our break up and distance have happened in a softer way? Why couldn’t have he just moved towns or fallen in love with someone else but we’d stay friends and all would be fine?

I knew Jed still loved me, he showed it a funny way I couldn’t deny it but I was always the first person he had a serious relationship and fell in love with, the first one is always the hardest one as they say. I knew that if he was still the same man I fell for and hadn’t encountered all these demons that had changed them – whatever they were – he’d still be that handsome boy and he’d be treating me right. It didn’t mean I’d still be with him at all. Yet it wasn’t hard for me to know that it was his still attached feelings to me that was why he was actually blackmailing me. Why else would he still want me to date and be with him? He just had a wrong way of showing him and these excuses didn’t make me think more or less of him, I didn’t love him like that anymore and he’d wounded me enough.

Yet a part of me didn’t blame him, the old him.

Pulling up outside the house and scene of the party I felt my stomach drop further and my gut knot and churn harshly, my stomach lurching with nerves and jitters. With trembling hands I handed the driver his money and stepped out of the car with a breath that made it sound like I had just ran a marathon. I was terrified and fill with nerves at the possibility of what could happen tonight, for what I had to do. More than ever I just wanted to run home and hide under the covers before calling the police on the sweet number ‘000’. The stronger stubborn part of me though just wanted this done, get in and get out.

That’s what I was going to do.

Stepping up pass the houses front gate I took a deep breath, tonight there was a party, the reason I wasn’t really sure. A birthday maybe? It didn’t matter, that wasn’t my purpose. Walking up the front path I remembered that there were no parents here tonight, they were actually out of town. Stepping up to the front door that was already swung crazily and carelessly open I could hear the thump and heady reverberations of the beat and club music shaking the walls and window panes. The tang of alcohol left my tongue and nose tickled and on alert, the scent alone feeding my senses.

Pushing opened the door I stepped into to instantly be bumped by some girl I didn’t even know. She slurred and giggled an apology to me before her eyes looked down at my shoes. She gasped completely shoving aside and ignoring the guy that had been hitting on her, looking for a night of fun. His defeated face made me smile smugly at him as he shot me a glare, I only winked back.

“Oh my god!” she gasped, wide eyes and mouth “I mean, I love your shoes!” she gasped as she continued to prattle on. “How much?”

I smiled sweetly at her, not hating her as much as I thought I would. She surprisingly wasn’t as ditzy as I presumed. Yet that’s the usual for girls that are apparently drunk, a lot of it it’s truly acting. “Ummm enough to make me weep!” I shouted over the heavy music and avoiding being barreled over by a bunch of guys that just barreled back in through the front door carrying a couple loads of buckets of ice and more alcohol, plus another keg.

Suddenly I realized just how rowdy this party was going to be, where all I wanted to be was in bed curled up watching a movie. And if I was lucky hopefully I could be snuggled up with a certain someone….

I didn’t realize that the girl before me had been babbling on, I smiled at the sight of her explicated facial expressions as she bunched up her nose and the next was throwing her hands up in the air. I had no idea what she said so when she finished I just hummed in agreement and got onto more pressing matters “Yeah, hey have you happened to see Jed or Falan? You know, that gang?” I asked her.

She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow deeply making my smile keep on my face; she was such a little kid! It was kind of adorable. “Oh! I saw Rick, he’s friends of Jed’s right?” she asked her eyes brightening up largely.

I smiled “Yeah! He’s a friend, could you point me in their direction?” I asked of her.

She nodded greatly “Of course, I saw them over there. It’s near the back door which is in the back entertainment room and near the stairs going upstairs.” She said pointing out the way there, through an arch doorway.

I nodded smiling greatly “Thanks!”

“No problem! I’ll see you around, maybe out on the dance floor?” she asked her gaze looking hopeful. It was in that moment I realized that she wasn’t from around here and the poor sole was a stranger in a large crowd. The poor thing. If it was different circumstances and if I wasn’t on a mission, I certainly would have let her glue herself to my side.

Making my way through the throng of the crowd I ignored some of the leering comments and actions and stares towards me. I also ignored some of the comments from the girls, i was on a mission and I certainly didn’t have time for some lesbian or douche bag of a guy to hit on me.

Reaching them I found them all leaning on the back of a lounge against the wall, rather than actually sitting on it they were sitting on the back of the couch with their feet on the seats. They had beers and alcohol in their hands, one or so smoking. These guys I didn’t mind though, these were Jed’s old friends and in honesty I trusted them and liked them, they were nice to me.

Rick was laughing at something but looking up he caught my eyes “Oh Erin! Jed’s been looking for you!” he shouted over the large bass of music, making me giddy.

I nodded shouting back “I know! Do you know where he is?”

He nodded leaning closer so I could hear as I myself leant forward also “Sure! Upstairs I think! He fell in the pool out back and went to go get dry!” he shouted.

I nodded “Thanks!”

My gaze than flickered to his which I realized was down looking at my clear view of my cleavage. I straightened whacking him over the back of his head. “Hey! I’m only human!” he defended himself, rubbing the back of his head as he laughed, his cheeks the slightest burning those as he gave me an impish grin.

I rolled my eyes “Not human, male. There’s a difference.” My lips twitching.

He tipped his imaginary hat “Touché.”

I rolled my eyes before turning and making my way up the stairs and to wherever Jed was. I made my way to look for a bathroom, the most likely place he’d be. I mean, I wasn’t venturing into any of those bedrooms, the moaning and grunting and more expletive and haunting sounds were scary enough as it was for me.

Finding the door that was sound free I took a deep preparing breath and stepped in to find luck was on my side. I had stepped into the bathroom! I was even luckier when I noticed Jed’s pants on the floor. A gigantic smile crept along my face and closing the door softly behind me and locking it – incase he or anyone else came back in – I crouched down and fished around in his drenched jeans.

My smile grew bigger when I felt and found something in one pocket. I made a small soft cheer under my breath as I pulled out his phone in amongst some loose coins and such. My hands quickly ran through his phone, putting in the passwords I had slyly memorized when I sneakily had looked and watched over his shoulder. Jed had truly underestimated me. It didn’t take long to find the video and for me to delete it and as soon as I did my shoulders sunk and a pure white bliss light filled my insides, euphoria.

Suddenly the euphoria stopped.

Pulling aside his mobile I looked down at what was underneath his mobile and in my hand; I shoved aside the crinkled receipt from buying grog and cigarettes, the loose coins, to find little capsules, pills. My breath stilled as I looked down at them, they were of multiple little colors with little funky inscriptions on the pills that I couldn’t really make out even no matter how close I bought it to my face or squinted against the bright lights in the bathroom. I leant in cautious with a tight heart and took a hesitant smell. My eyes grew; it had a sweet smell to it surprisingly. It wasn’t anything that stunk or made you crinkle your nose like when you taste or smell aspirin or pain relievers. The fact alone that it was sweet rather than disgusting had my heart plummeting.

It couldn’t be, could it?

I swallowed the large lump in my throat, feeling queasy and about to upload into the toilet nearby. I couldn’t believe it, let alone wrap my head around it. Was it possible he was on drugs? The thought alone nearly had me in tears. How had I not noticed it? How had I not tried to help him before it was too late? I felt so guilty, awful and the worst kind of girlfriend ever, and selfish! It just had to be something else, something reasonable! Yet no matter how much I tried to think of something else it could possibly be I couldn’t, everything suddenly had a distinct clarity, clear.

It was the sound of something being knocked against a wall that my head snapped up, my heart racing even harder at the prospect of being caught. If he found out that I saw these pills I couldn’t simply imagine his reaction let alone the scars and bruises that would taint my form. With shaking and trembling hands I stashed the contents back in a pocket as I looked up sharply trying to find the cause behind the noise.

It was as I looked around that I noticed it, the pink shirt lying further into the bathroom, a bright pink. Since when did Jed wear pink? My mind spiraled following the trail that led to a shoe of Jed’s and then it stopped just as it reached another door…leading into a bedroom? My mouth fell dry as I snuck closer on my hands and knees as I reached the bright pink shirt. No matter how many times the little voice in my head told me, I knocked back reason. Until I saw it. It wasn’t a shirt let alone Jed’s. Holding it up I could easily see that it was a dress, a dress shorter and skimpier than I, with no back.

I let go of a ragged breath, still on my knees as I reached out on my own accord, unable to stop my own body. It was like an out of body experience as my head pounded loudly as I heard the thunk of something hitting the wall and vibrating. Followed by another sound that had my hands trembling and shaking greater, my heart coming to my throat.

My hand touched the cold metal of the doorknob and almost a whimper of disbelief passed my lips at what was behind the door. I couldn’t believe it, it couldn’t be true. I turned in a numb, disconnected state and through the dark room and a reasonably small crack I saw it with my own eyes.

My own eyes opening to my true naivety.

There was a tangle of heated flesh and sweat, clothes and sheets on the floor leading a trail to a bed. There were hands, four, groping and touching places and four legs moving in time to the most guttural and lust contaminated sounds and words.

The sight before me tore out my heart.

A soft startled gasp passed my life, of disbelief. I couldn’t believe the sight before me, yet it was just there. I wanted to personally gouge my eyes out and burn them, even remove my memory. My gasp went unheard by the pair before me, too induced by the pleasure and ecstasy, I wondered if they’d even care if they saw me in the doorway, openly gaping and trembling at the sight before me.

Of course it had been too easy, too simple. There was always a catch and before me was the catch.

Before I knew it, I was running down the stairs and threw the throng of the crowd. Shoving people aside carelessly and roughly, trying to get out. Just simply to get out. I ignored the call out by the previous girl I had met, ignoring her as she called out to me, her words a blur. I pushed out the door passing by some guy making him fall in the garden. I kept racing out the front gate and down the street.

I walked over a block before I forced myself to stop; my feet killing me in my heels that I realized were the worst shoes to wear when you were trying to run. I was running too because I couldn’t get over what I saw, Jed in bed with a girl. Not any girl, our school’s slut, Madison. I couldn’t get over it, the sight of them joined and making those sounds….

I turned around and heaved in a bush at the front of someone’s house as I held in the tears. A muffled sob and whimper passing through my lips as I pulled the hair from my eyes and spat trying to get rid of the tang of the vomit from my mouth. “Why does this hurt so much?” I sob softly to myself, fighting back the tears strongly.

The question was such a grand question; why did this hurt?

Maybe it hurt so much because stupidly and gullibly I believed him when I confronted him about his cheating and he denied it, making me feel bad about his grandmother. For all I knew he didn’t even have a grandmother and he really was fucking those girls without me knowing and I believed it! Stupidly I felt guilty and tried to apologize when he had just lied to my face! I was so furious with myself!

And maybe it was also the fact that it was the last straw, the final and last straw. He had hit me, treated me like crap, blackmailed me, and called me names and a slut being such a hypocrite when he was sleeping around behind my back! I tried to understand him, be nice and find the reasoning behind his actions; I still cared for him and felt sorry for him! I still wanted to help and yet here I was and he could quite easily sleep with others and cheat, he could hit me and hurt me so much more and declare he cared for me! Why had I thought more of him when really I just saw his entire true colors? Why had I wasted my time on such a monster?

I felt so betrayed and worthless to him, I was angry and just so pained and that’s why it hurt. It wasn’t because I still loved him, no far from it. Especially now. It hurt so much because of the betrayal, the lies and how worthless he made me feel. It was the last straw; I was done, done forever. No more. Even if I hadn’t deleted the video it would have been done, I would have called the cops. I wanted to call the cops so badly right now but I needed to think clear, pull my head together and think about things first.

Like, how was I going to get home in such a mess?

Pulling out my phone I didn’t have to think or hesitate at who I called, there was no if’s or but’s. I knew and without a pause I dialed and hit the speed dial.

“Li? It’s Ez, I need you.”

***

Before Eli’s car even properly stopped he was out the door and racing to my side on the curb at eleven at night, being called up so late and yet he didn’t deny me. After all I had done I could rely on him and right now I had never loved him more, my heart swelled.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” he cried racing to me as I stood freezing cold and hugging my small frame with trembling lips holding in the tears, though they glistened in the night.

He didn’t hesitate or think it through, he pulled me tightly into his arms, wrapping his arms tight around me and clutching me tightly to his chest. His hands clung to me protectively and suddenly after all this time, being so disconnected and broken for so long I felt secure and whole.

Home.

I buried my face into his warm chest, snuggling deeper and ignoring everything that had happened between us. I simply didn’t care. I inhaled his warm and spicy scent, bottling it up greedily as it soothed and placated me beyond belief.My fingers curled in his shirt and jacket pulling me tighter into his hold and never wanting to let go. He shushed me in cooing words, comforting me as he ran his fingers desperately through my hair, unsure of what to do. Yet he didn’t even know that simply just being here, holding me, was more than enough.

“I just want to go home.” I whimpered softly fighting back the tears, not wanting him to see.

“Shhh, I’ll take you home baby.” He murmured softly, not even thinking of the endearment he just called me, unaware. It didn’t matter though, the endearment warmed me enough to give me the strength to pull back and go the passenger’s door.

“God, here you’re freezing. Let me.” he murmured quickly trying to take his jacket off at the same time as trying to open the door for me, in a muddled mess. For this little time here the tension was gone and I was going to cherish it whilst I could.

The sight of him being so torn and muddled had me smiling softly. I reached out resting my hand on one of his “It’s ‘kay Li, I got it.” I murmured softly with a little giggle as I opened the door instead for him.

He sighed sadly as if being unable to open the door for me was the biggest crime in the world let alone failure. Instead he shook off his jacket the rest of the way and righted it before stepping up and wrapping it snugly around me and threading my arms through it as if I was the most fragile petal possible. He wrapped it close around me, for a moment pausing to admire the soft fabric that now warmed me greatly – still warm from his wear – and caressed my bare skin. He nodded quickly in approval before holding the door opened for me and racing around to the other side and getting in, blaring the heaters – though it wasn’t that cold – and starting the car quickly.

The drive was quite silent the entire time and I glanced out the window my mind relaying all of what had just happened. Though I was more focused on how close Eli was, just a touch away and yet it was silent, quiet. There was so much I wanted to tell him, to cry out to him that it was over, all was okay and things could be great again, we could be happy. But would he want that? He was so close and there was so much I wanted to do, say and even ask of him and yet the distance between us was too great, it was extensive.

It was knowing that; the distance between us that made me feel broken that bought on the tears. Not all the drama with Jed, the abuse, blackmailing, cheating or anything else. No, it was because the man I loved was sitting right beside me but wasn’t beside me. I sat there, with silent tears slowly streaming down my cold numb face as I stared dejectedly out the window. So distraught and loss, I had lost so much and been hurt so much. How was I meant to overcome all of this and heal those I had also hurt along the way?

The drive was silent the rest of the way, a pressure in such a small space smothering us and making breathing practically impossible, let alone speaking. The silence was so stiff I wanted to cry and shout out at the top of my lungs. I could practically feel the desperation within him, how much strength he had to use to hold back the bubbling of questions and words on his tongue. I could feel his eyes going to me as much as he could whilst driving. I could feel the anxiety and tension deep within me and I knew right now I couldn’t face it. I didn’t have the strength to find a lie or tell the truth, I didn’t have the strength to answer his questions and face the brutality of truth of how much I hurt him and most likely his rejection.

So when he pulled into our drive, the porch light on and the rest of the lights off, I didn’t hesitate as I quickly leant over for the door handle. I was met by the hollow thunk of him locking the door with his central locking. Curse technology!

I glanced down dejectedly, in defeat as the nerves and butterflies swarmed me dangerously. His hand cupped the tip of my chin, forcing me to look up and into his eyes as I swallowed roughly. Trying to not look him right in the eyes, because if I did I wasn’t going to like what I saw, his pain, his questions, the silent words and maybe even hate.

The pads of his thumbs brushed under my eyes, wiping the drying tears away, where my eyes were faintly puffy and swollen and probably even red if there was a light on in here. He brushed them away so tenderly and easily, knowingly. It was as if even in the dark and without the use of the sense sound he still knew I had been crying and probably going to cry again.

It was this tender gesture that had my eyes snapping up to meet his, they were soft and gentle within the dark confides of the vehicle. He leant in and my breath hitched at the possibilities. Was he going to kiss me? His lips brushed against my forehead as he murmured sweetly, softly to me like a lullaby “You’re so beautiful.”

I let go of a ragged breath, his words and his touch hypnotizing me, oh so tantalizing as it bought a fire to my skin, my body. My eyes fluttered closed trying to soak in every single detail and touch, cataloging it all before it vanished. Before I awoke to the nightmare of reality and honesty.

The soft and seemingly more gentler thunk of the central locking of the car met my ears again. “When you’re ready.” He murmured gently brushing a finally kiss along my forehead and down to kiss each of my clothes lids, before curling a lock of loose hair behind my ear and pulling away.

He was giving me the chance, a choice of talking now or later, and maybe even never. I bit my tongue fighting back the urge to weep in his arms and bare my soul and heart to him. To tell him everything I’ve ever felt and happened. I bit it because right now I simply couldn’t, I needed time to come to terms with all of it myself so far, all was finally catching up and if I told him now I could tarnish and destroy such a beautiful moment.

I couldn’t do that.

So instead I leant over towards him – hesitating slightly at the sight of his eyes growing in surprise – and brushed my lips against his warm cheek. Without another word I opened the passenger side’s door and crept out of his car and made my way up the garden path of our house and inside, all the while still wearing his jacket.

I made my way inside the silent house being extra quiet as I kicked off my shoes and held them in hand. I walked down and slid in my room, only to be greeted by my little boy Alekay. It wasn’t long at all until I was curled up in bed with Alekay, cuddling to him as I wore Eli’s shirt, nestled deep in the blankets as I snuggled deeper.

I was on the brink of sleep until my phone vibrated. My eyes flew opened alarmed as my heart pounded hard against my chest. I wasn’t afraid of awakening the household, but rather who was calling. With a shaking hand I reached out to check the caller ID on the phone, to read that it was Mel.

Sighing with relief I answered softly “Hello?”

“Oh thank god you answered! Are you alright?” she gushed quickly, alarmed and relief coating her words.

I frowned as I rubbed my eyes, sitting up a little straighter making Alekay look up at me disgruntle “Yeah, why? What’s wrong?” I murmured fighting back a yawn.

“Eli just called Liam, said he had to pick you up.” I resisted the urge to groan “Liam’s freaking out right about now. Are you alright? What happened? Was it….was it something Jed did?” a secret question behind it.

“What are you even doing at this time alone with Liam?” I mumbled “Oh my god! Did you guys have sex?” I hissed my eyes growing wide.

“What? No!” she hissed back, embarrassment coating her words making me chuckle at the shy bad ass Mel. “We’re on a…..” her words trailing off in a mumble I couldn’t understand.

“On a what?” I sang tauntingly with a goofy smile.

“We’re on a date alright? Happy?” she demanded in a hiss, telling me that Liam must be close, at least in hearing range.

I shrugged “As happy as can be, it’s better than hearing that your twin brother and best friend are right now about to get freaky.” I mused with dry humor, shuddering at the image. “You know dating my brother sucks! How are we supposed to have girl talk to compare anyways?” I demanded.

“Compare? What the hell is wrong with you?” Mel continued to hiss at me.

I shrugged “You know, compare the guys we date sizes and how good in bed and shit they are.” I said honestly running my fingers through my hair.

“Firstly Ez you have to have a boyfriend and sex to be able to compare and right now you have neither of those boxes ticked.” Mel pointed out.

If only you knew.

I simply hummed in agreement “Touché, I’m officially single after tonight.” I agreed, a bright smile face coming along my face despite everything.

“Why? Did you….get the job done?” she asked choosing words carefully “You weren’t….caught were you?” she asked, her voice growing in alarm.

I snorted “God no, those bunch are morons. No, I deleted it and it’s all done and dusted.”

There was a slight confused pause “Than why were upset?” she questioned confused and anxious.

I hesitated.

“Erin.” She said sternly, with such a mum tone.

I sighed sadly, giving in “I walked in to find Jed and Madison having sex in one of the bedrooms.”

“He did what?!” she cried, her voice far from soft.

“What? What happened?! Is she alright?!” I could hear Liam’s voice demand in the background causing me to cringe. Way to go Mel I thought darkly.

I listened to Mel shush and calm Liam down before turning back to the phone “Alright. Are you okay?” her voice telling me she wanted to say and ask more but simply couldn’t right now.

I hummed “Yeah, fine. Look, how about we talk later and I’ll tell you the full story? Just don’t tell Liam for me okay?” I pleaded of her.

“Yeah of course, we’ll catch up tomorrow morning or something okay? Go out for lunch like old time sakes. Just take care alright, I worry about you.” She said her voice full of concern.

I rolled my eyes “Yes mum.” I grumbled dramatically “Oh, and mum?” I hesitated, ready to hang up.

“Yes dear?” she sighed dramatically, playing along.

“Don’t forget to use a condom.” I sang.

Mel chuckled “My daughter’s giving me protection advice, what a scene.” She murmured.

“Love you.” I yawned before hanging up and sliding back into bed.

Not before doing one last thing on my phone, sending a text to certain someone before snuggling back into my bed with a sense of accomplishment and content.

Erin: Jed, it’s over.

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Okay, so hopefully the length will make up for the lateness! I got my laptop fixed tho, yay! What were your thoughts of this chapter? Please share! Also, Liam and Mel's date is next chatper! :D

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