"Here, I'll give you this Barbie and you give me the truck." The boy bargained, his five year old wide eyes trained solely on the toy truck in my hand at the day care centre.

I shook my head fiercely, as I clutched the truck tighter "No! I want the truck!" I cried pouting and scrunching up my nose as I sat in the sand pit, the sand and dirt coating and dusting my entire body and my dress.

The boy with brown hair regarded me frowning "You know for a girl....you is funny."

My eyes grew in offence and horror "I am not funny!" I shouted.

He giggled "Yes you are; what girl likes toy trucks?" he countered with a pointed smug look.

It was the first time I had spoken to this boy and already he was aggravating me. My eyes narrowed "I play cars all the time with my brother at home!" I spat.

"Yeah? Who's your brother?" he asked his eyes curious.

I looked around and over before finding Liam over by the swings with some car he was dragging along on the grass, some girl with black hair nearby marching over to him with her hands on her hips making me smile. Sucker. "There, that's him!" I declared proudly at my brother.

"That's your brother?" he asked in disbelief.

I nodded "Yeah, why?" I shot back, getting protective over my twin.

"He's my best friend!" he exclaimed in shock.

My eyes grew "Yeah, well he's my twin brother!" I pointed out smugly.

The boy suddenly smiled at me "I'm Eli." He said simply.

I smiled faintly, "Erin." I mumbled shyly.

"You know you are funny....but you're also pretty....for a girl."

                                                  ೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋೋღ♥ღೋ

The past days had been utterly painful, at first I solely just hid from everyone and anything possible. I was either locked up in my room with my lights off and a book making no sound to make believe I was in there, or I hid out at the library or elsewhere. I just hid.

At first I wasn't entirely too sure why I was hiding, apart the fact that I cheated on my own boyfriend I didn't really have anything to feel guilty for, right? How wrong was I. I slept with my twin brother's best friend! I slept with him and did a runner in the morning! My crazy and dramatic imagination had me convinced that if he took one look at me he'd know and disown me, maybe even kill Eli and the thought of that had me hiding and cowering some more.

Hiding however didn't turn out as easy as I pictured, Eli had text me a couple extra times. I had no idea if he'd showed up at the house, maybe he did or maybe he didn't. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't; I bet he'd feel just as awful as I did in terms of my brother and all. It wasn't that it was some one night stand and mistake, and then it turns out to be someone you know and will see more often. It wasn't like that because there were feelings attached, from the both of us and if I was correct deep feelings. Yet it still felt like a one night stand at the same time because I was avoiding him, I was feeling guilty and I didn't want to be anywhere near my brother. The guilt in some ruined what was the most perfect and beautiful moment of my life.

I knew though that all this guilt though and pain would leave the moment I spoke to Jed, confronted him about his so called visits to his sick Nan and finally split up from him. Because than I could finally go find Eli and I could finally touch him and just be in his arms and there'd be no more guilt to live with, I'd be setting everything right and straight.

That Saturday night I crawled late into my room and went straight to my bed curling into it. It was where I laid that I swore on my life and tried to convince myself that the space was still warm from where Eli had laid and greedily I laid there wanting to soak and bathe in all of his heat. His scent lingered about the room and I was desperate to do anything possible to keep it there. As my hand moved under my pillow I touched something soft, frowning I had pulled it out to find Eli's shirt. I pulled it greedily to me and pulled it over my head, letting it hug my body as I curled deeper into the sheets.

That night things were beyond restless, I was curled in the sheets, my body tossing and turning and the sheets and doona curling around my feet and choking my skin and body the more I turned. I honestly couldn't sleep with all the thoughts going through my mind, I knew what I had to do but I wanted to do it now and get it over and done with so there was no burden or weight. I just wanted to finish it so I could feel light, happy and free again. How I felt when I was with Eli.

It was into the late hours of the night when my phone rang softly, vibrating underneath my pillow. At first I hesitated, I slid it and looked at the name and image flashing on the screen. The sight of it alone had my heart fluttering crazily and dangerously.

Eli.

The logical part of me told me not to answer, everything within me knew not to answer because who knows what things could happen if I caved before talking to Jed. Who knew what more regret or guilt I'd have to deal with this afterwards. Yet the rest of me just wanted to be close to him, closer than I already was, I just wanted to hear his voice and to get rid of the anxiety and weight sitting heavy within and what I knew he'd be feeling too.

That's why before I could stop myself I reached out and pressed accept pulling my phone to my ear I whispered softly into the still and silent house at two in the morning "Hello."

A heavy sigh met my ears, a sigh of relief "Oh thank god." He breathed, his relief making my heart flutter at how much he cared "I was so worried, where the hell have you been baby girl?" he asked, the endearment creating a bigger smile on my face.

Before I could even stop I blurted the words out "I love you."

I could hear the soft happy sigh through the phone again "I love you too baby girl, I love you too." He whispered softly and I wished he was here right now, whispering sweet nothings into my ears.

My smile only grew "I have your shirt." I whispered softly, the moment too beautiful to break and destroy.

"Oh really?" he asked softly, his voice turning to be sparked with amusement.

"Mmmm." I hummed running my fingers over the soft heavenly fabric that smelt of his delicious scent "I'm wearing it right now."

I could hear the soft groan leaving the back of his throat softly "God I wish I could see that." He said softly, his voice coated with a rough gravely texture that left me tingling and throbbing as I giggled.

"Do you want it back?" I whispered back, holding his shirt and the phone tighter, closer. As if I held it any closer I could draw him out through the phone.

"No, you keep it." he murmured softly "For as long as you own my heart and I own yours keep it baby girl." He murmured, his words doing things to me that I've never experienced before; he gave me his shirt! I felt like squealing and singing at the top of my lungs right now. "And hey, if you really want to make me happy maybe you should wear it to school for me on Monday. Maybe than they'd stop looking at what they can't have." He said a fierce protective and possessiveness coating his words that made my stomach bubble. I had heard this protectiveness before, I had always presumed it was since I was his best friends little sister, and not because he loves me.

I giggled softly "Nobody looks at me like that, I think you're exaggerating there." I teased back softly, my eyes closing as I talked to him, a lazy smile on my face.

"I don't know baby girl, you'd be surprised at how many people I have to resist punching the living daylights out of." He murmured softly.

"What, three?" I teased back, making him chorus back with a deep throaty and rich chuckle, making my insides shudder.

It was a sweet silence until he suddenly broke it "Where were you today baby girl, you had me really worried." He murmured softly.

I sighed softly "I had...I have some things to sort out Li." I murmured softly.

"Any of these things include Jed?" he asked his voice stiff and laced discreetly with anger and even jealous creating a smile.

It's nice to know he was jealous, it meant he cared. I'd never felt someone fight over me, even with Jed; if some person hit on me he'd just laugh and watched me get hit on. It's a sweet difference to feel someone thinking you're worth the fight.

I sighed softly "I did text him to meet up to....talk." I answered honestly "But he can't 'till Monday."

I was met with the sound of Eli muttering strings of profanities and insults about Jed under his breath making me smile faintly. Finally he spoke "So why were you avoiding my texts than?" he asked softly, a small amount of emotion there that I thought was vulnerability. Yet what was there he had a chance of being vulnerable about? Did he think I was going to actually stay with Jed?

I sighed softly "I don't think we should......do or even....speak to one another 'till Monday and 'till I speak to him and....break it off." I whispered softly "I just....I feel guilty enough as it is." I whispered softly, my guilt clear in my voice.

He laughed humoursly as he muttered a frustrated "You're too nice."

I laughed softly not agreeing at all, what nice person cheats on their boyfriend? "It's just 'till Monday." I tried to reassure him.

Eli sighed softly "I guess if I've waited this long, another day or so won't hurt." He muttered begrudgingly.

I smiled goofily "How long are we talking here?" I asked, my voice showing how happy I was.

"Too long baby girl, far too long." He murmured his amusement and happiness coating his words.

I smiled unable to contain my happiness or these feelings, I was so happy "So 'till Monday?" I murmured softly. "Can you do that?" I asked of him, knowing I was asking a bit.

He sighed softly "For you I can wait." He murmured softly.

I smiled softly as I yawned "Thank you Li." I murmured as I nestled further into the pillow, sleeping creeping up upon me.

"It's alright." he murmured softly, as I could hear the smile in his voice "Sweet dreams baby."

***

Monday morning Liam and I got to school late, for the fact that the two of us had slept in late and that I was still avoiding him. So like the coward I was I wouldn't leave my room 'till I knew he had gone back to his own. The waiting game was time consuming. It wasn't as if Liam seemed suspicious or worried about me, he himself seemed to be in a world of his own, his head muddled and his thoughts clouded and controlling.

Just like me.

In the end we finally got to school late for classes, but that didn't bother me like it usually would. My mind for the rest of the day up until lunch was solely focused on what I had to say to Jed, what truths I'd reveal and what truths I'd demand. How did I say something like this? How did I break up with someone and admit that I cheated? Should I honestly tell him I cheated or just break up with him? No, I needed to be honest, if I didn't I'd always regret it. I didn't want to live a life of regrets.

It was frustrating, out of all the romance novels I read not one had a break up scene, what romance novel would? It was just so frustrating, I didn't know what to do and I just wanted to get it over and done with.

As the bell signaled for lunch I was mighty happy that I hadn't ran into Mel or Eli, yet the prospect at joining them after this chat with Jed during lunch had my heart fluttering with anticipation and impatience. If I slid in to sit next to them would Eli wrap his arm around me? Would he have the gall to even kiss me in front of Liam? Would Mel scream and demand answers like her usual self? Would Liam be happy for us?

Smiling I made my way down the hall knowing where I could find Jed, since I had texted him and asked to meet him in one of the janitor's store rooms, a room he always used to insist on us meeting up in when he pressured me for sex or just to skip class for a heated make out session. I had enough dignity though than to lose my virginity in a store room whilst skipping class, and I also had enough pride to lose my virginity to someone I actually cared rightfully about and loved.

The thought alone of Eli had me smiling greater.

Sliding the door open and stepping in I instantly felt his arms coil around my body and drew me in, his lips scouting mine and taking claim of my lips roughly, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip causing me to yelp in shock, surprise and of course the sting of the pain. He didn't react though; he just dragged me deeper, his hands reaching at the base of my shirt as he began to slide his hands under my shirt.

That was my sign to stop this before it got worse. Reaching up I pushed against his chest with all the force I had causing him to stumble back and even myself as I took a step back as I grunted "Jed, stop. Not now." I complained.

"What?" he asked slightly dazed, but more so aggravated and disappointed "You didn't call me in here for a booty call?" he asked looking at me.

I shook my head looking in his eyes, my mouth going dry. Suddenly I realized as I stood before him, feeling still the sting on my lips how wrong it felt to be anywhere close to Jed. I sighed running my hands through my now messed up hair "I asked you here because we....we need to talk." I began those four words the words I tried to avoid using in a clichéd manner and yet there were no other words.

Jed smiled greatly "Is this about the other week with our fight? Are you ready to make up for it, because I can think of a few things we can do...." He trailed off his eyes practically pleading, I didn't know if it was for me or just solely for what making up would entail.

I shook my head "Jed is there...Look, I'm going to give you one chance." I began pulling myself together and straightening my spine "Is there anything you need to tell me? Anything you need to come clean about?" I asked looking him right in the eye.

He frowned "Come clean of what?" he asked frustrated, looking at me as if I was deranged.

I sighed frustrated not wanting to say it but I knew I'd have to literally spell it out for him "Jed there's been talk....talk that you aren't really visiting your sick Nan but rather...." I sighed in frustration at my cowardice.

"Rather what?" he asked, his voice stiff and absent of any emotions.

I sighed in frustration as I looked him dead in the eyes, straightening out my coward spine "Have you or have you not been sleeping with other girls whilst we've been dating?" I asked directly, bluntly.

I was met with silence.

It was as I was thinking over and over again I knew it, I knew it! that he replied interrupting my heavy thoughts "My Nan is sick Erin, sick!" he said his voice full of disgust "So no I haven't been spending every weekend by her side and helping her around the house, doing chores and caring for her! No really I've been sleeping around with sluts and cheating on my girlfriend that I've dating for nearly a year!" he shouted his voice dripping with utter sarcasm. "I can't believe you'd actually ask me that! Think so low of me!" he shouted, his disappointment and utter repulsion at me causing me to cringe and shrink back as I looked down and away with his burning eyes making me feel even more guilty.

I had never felt so small in my life.

"What I don't get is that if these rumors have been around for some time how come you're only coming to me about them now?" he asked me sharply, pointedly, suspiciously.

I gulped, feeling the guilt claw at my skin harder "Something happened....the other night at the party." I mumbled softly, shrinking further back.

"What happened Erin?" he asked tersely.

I gulped "I.....I got drunk.....and I....I slept with someone." I said honestly, softly praying he didn't hear my words as I felt him tower over me, stepping closer "He was from the other team." I lied, protecting Eli no matter what I'd protect him as much as I could from Jed. I knew who Jed's friends were.

Suddenly Jed's hand shot out curling tightly around my wrist as he dragged me closer, my chest hitting his as I wriggled against his hold, only making him clench my wrist tighter in his making me whimper. "So you thought by bringing up my so called wrong doings and then confessing yours it would make everything okay? That it'd make us even?" he growled roughly.

I sobbed softly, my eyes bubbling with tears as I watched his knuckles whitened around my wrist, my wrist protesting and my bones feeling like dust under his cold and harsh touch. I wriggled against his hold "I...I just wanted the truth. I told you the truth; I was just coming here to b-break it off. I promise I-"

I was cut off as I screamed his hand suddenly shooting out and meeting my cheek causing me to tumble back from the blow and fall backwards over the cleaner's buckets and boxes on the floor. I sobbed reaching up for my red raw cheek, stunned, the pain utterly beyond belief as my cheek protested and throbbed hard. My tears surfaced and ran down my cheek as I cowered, my body feeling so heavy as I sobbed, cowering against the shelf in utter fear.

"How could you babe?!" he roared "You come in here accusing me of such when you go and jump into bed with the first man you see. You're such a hypocrite not to mention a slut!" he roared making guilt attack me even greater.

"I-I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean it!" I cried sobbing greater.

I shut up as he took a threatening step closer, cowering back some more as his foot landed down on my hand that was on the ground. At first I thought simply he didn't watched were he steeped, that was until he wriggled and squashed my finger underneath his foot causing me to cry out softly as he continued shouting at me.

"We've been dating for nearly a year and you're the biggest nun going but some random, the opposition team you can fuck with?! Do you know how mad and hurt that makes me feel?! Do you know how betrayed I feel?!" with each word grounding harder onto my fingers, feeling my fingers and wrist protest, and ground further into the ground where I was sure I'd have a broken finger or something wrong at least.

I cried "I-I'm sorry! I swear, people were just telling me and I-I didn't know what to think! It was a mistake....p-please!" I begged cowering greater as I gave up with my hand, the feeling in my hand numb.

He stepped back sighing heavily before his hand shot out and collided into a shelf, the flimsy metal shelf rocking with tins and other products falling off and breaking to fall down upon me, bruising and hurting my skin some more as I cried out in shock and pain. My entire body felt so heavy and throbbed in protest, weak.

I'd never felt scared around Jed in my entire life until now.

His heavy and harsh sigh met my ears "Okay....this is what we're going to do," he began glaring at the wall still "we're going to stay together and get past this....get past this....wrong doing of yours" he hissed causing me to cringe with more guilt "we'll make it work. Alright?" he asked turning sharply to me looking down at me with dark eyes full of abyss.

I shrunk back further into the shelves and cupboards on the floor, tears still running down my face. I'd never seen this side of Jed and it scared and shook me right to the core. I had seen him angry before with others but never like this, never so dangerous, livid and animalistic. He hit me! I was beyond scared and as I looked up into his eyes in this small vicinity I knew there was only answer he wanted to hear.

So I nodded my head sobbing as I clung tighter to Eli's shirt, my only solace as of now.

________________________

Sorry guys. I had to re-publish this chapter since I just realised/noted that it cut off half way.

-------------------------------------

All Rights Reserved

Copyrighted Material ©

-------------------------------------