“Do you think they’re kissing in there?” I hissed to Liam.

Liam looked over at me, the both of us hiding in Erin’s closet whilst she was in her room talking to Eli, the two of them oblivious to us.

Liam chortled “No, Eli’s too big of a wimp.”

I rolled my eyes “Because you’re so manly yourself!” I hissed back at him, trying to go by unnoticed.

Liam narrowed his eyes at me “I am too!” he shouted back in an angry whisper.

I folded my arms with a pointed glance “As if. It’s not like you have the guts to go around and kiss whoever the hell you want to kiss.”

“Really? I’ll prove you wrong!” he countered, with a smug glance.

I raised a single brow with curving lips “Prove it.” I challenged.

Before I could even have the chance to pull back Liam hands shot out in the small space and grabbed my face in his hands, his hands warms and doing things to my heart. I didn’t even have the chance to blink before he was pulling my face to his and he was molding his lips to mine.

He pulled back as I only blinked in a daze, my lips tingling in my inexperienced fourteen year old body “I told you I can kiss who ever the damn I want to kiss.”

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The next forty eight hours were the most grueling hours in my life. I kept myself locked up in my house Sunday making sure my entire house was locked and I had all curtains were drew incase Liam was close.

I avoided Liam all day Sunday as if he was the plague, I convinced him with a lie that I just needed some time alone for myself and he agreed leaving me alone. I was fairly sure that he didn’t buy the lie but he just knew he couldn’t sleep outside my house for the rest of his life.

I wanted with every fiber of my body to open the front door and let him inside to the warmth and everything but there was something that held me back. That being the shield that protected my heart. That didn’t stop me from being nice, when he had fallen asleep against the door I made my way around the back and quietly wrapped him in the thickest blanket we had in the house not wanting him to get a cold and leaving a coffee by his side.

Even though he left early Sunday morning – I wasn’t entirely too sure when – and it was something I knew he needed to do being healthy and also since I didn’t want him at my door begging to be let in, another part of me couldn’t be saddened. The sick twisted part of me couldn’t help but feel wounded at the fact that he hadn’t fought longer, and demanded and begged for me just that little bit longer.

Even if I wasn’t going to cave.

Sunday passed by slowly as I curled on my bed watching reruns of The Simpsons, Family Guy and Futurama late into the night and dreaded Monday slowly crept around.

Making my way to school Monday morning my goal set in mind was to talk to Erin and ask her what happened to her and Eli the other night and I prayed it’d be something good and also to tell her everything else about me and Falan so she didn’t find out off someone else.

Walking onto school grounds it was like simultaneously like in the movies, every head snapped up in my direction and looked at me with a mixture of faces; disgust, pity and even snarky amusement from the female population. The males looked on at me as if I was some easy hooker with cockiness whilst others looked at me with disgust and snarky amusement. I had already prepped myself for what I was to face today most likely being the biggest bit of gossip but it didn’t mean it was anything easier.

Walking on I ignored the hushed whispers, laughter and cat calls, holding up my head high and ignoring all around me, my destination clear in mind. I wouldn’t sink low to their level and give them what they wanted, I wasn’t going to scream at them, I wasn’t going to hide and I certainly wasn’t going to bow down.

Making my way through the throng of people my gaze landed on Eli who had his brows furrowed as he leant against the schools wall. Looking up his gaze met mine and I was shocked by the onslaught of emotions that were conflicted in his eyes; happiness, excitement and then there were the more so negative ones of confusement, frustration and anxiety. Seeing those eyes bought a stab of worry and confusement to me also and I knew I needed to talk to Erin soon about what had happened because I’d bet my bottom dollar it was linked to her.

As if wanting me to win the bet Eli spoke up, his voice a jumble rush of words “Have you seen Erin?” he asked, his voice anxious and almost pleading.

I shook my head frowning “No, I was going to ask you the same thing. Are you alright?” I asked him worried about what was going on.

He waved me off “Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to talk to her.” He said not willing to tell me.

I nodded deciding that I’d talk to Erin and let Liam talk to Eli or whatever it was that the male population did “Yeah, what about Liam, is he here?” I asked.

Eli shook his head “Haven’t seen him.” He muttered distracted as his eyes scoped the crowd and throng of people before us.

I gave an internal sigh of relief knowing I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet let alone see him “Maybe they’re both running late or something.” I shrugged trying to appease the both of us.

Eli nodded sighing heavily “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He muttered calming down slightly as he took his eyes off the people surrounding us.

At that moment a guy sauntered up to me, from the year below. I was fairly certain his name was Jake but I wasn’t entirely too sure. He reached out and slid a piece of paper into my hand “Here, this will give you something to look forward to this afternoon.” He smiled, winking at me like the cocky bastard he was.

Before I could even say it Eli beat me to it “Fuck off.” he snapped, his words shocking me greatly since he wasn’t one male to speak so much but when he did it wasn’t pleasant, I still wasn’t used to it. I blinked at him stunned, this Jake guy doing similar. Whatever was going through his mind must be something serious and most definitely plaguing his mind, his agitation perfectly clear.

Jake collected himself with a chuckle “Easy mate, it’s not as if she doesn’t share.” He chortled.

“Look mate I don’t know what the fu-“ Eli began.

I held my hand out to Eli “It’s alright, you know I can deal with this.” I said seriously sending him a pointed look, my mind still hung up on what the hell was going through Eli’s head.

Turning back to Jake I looked him in they before looking down at the paper in my hand, which was his number and a rather disturbing drawing drawn beside it. “Look, how about we get a bit off this over and done with now. I’m a bit strap for time, you know how it is.” I shrugged with an innocent smile.

Jake chortled again “Sure do babe.” He drawled, his eyes sparking.

I stepped closer “So here.” I said before pulling my knee up and hitting him fair in the stomach with my knee.

He gasped bending over as he clutched his stomach heaving and cursing under his breath sharply as he hit the ground, his face contorted in pain. I was well aware of the audience we had which only egged me on more so, stepping forward with a cheery smile I purposely slammed my foot roughly down on his hand and squashing it into the graveled ground, the rocks crunching beneath his hand as he hissed in protest, trying to be strong.

Smiling one last time sweetly at him I sauntered off and into class.

***

I hadn’t had the chance at all to catch up with Erin, I had yet to see her and in all honesty the longer time drew on the more worried I become. Seeing Eli before as he was so agitated and a mess it had me worried; what had happened the other night?

I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn’t Erin’s mother, she was a big girl, she could look after herself and so could Eli. It wasn’t as if I didn’t have my own troubles to deal with because I certainly did.

Today had been utter hell for me, the gossip, the whispers and the looks. The rumors escalating were becoming more and more ridiculous all of them far from the truth and all of them making me look and sound like the slut rather than the victim. I had endured such snide remarks and belittling from the girls in the school, many laughing at me behind my backs and some even to my face. Others made it fairly clear that I was a walking sexual disease basically whilst others just avoided me for reasons I was unsure of. I could see some of their faces and I knew some believed me and pitied me, none of them having the courage to stand up for me though, which wounded me only more.

The male population of the school was worst though, behind the teachers back and even with them in view though oblivious they’d make crude remarks and suggestions. None of them were afraid to suggest to me or tell me what they’d like to do to me after school, or to take a grope or feel as if it wasn’t harassment. I was asked so many times for on so called dates and visits to the janitor’s room throughout the day. I felt like utter filth being treated like such, as if I was just some item to them and not a human being, I felt dirty and sickened at some of the filthy things said to me as if I was treated like some rag cloth that could be shared around. It frightened me to think of what prostitutes and slaves experienced within our world. I thought I had always known how much the male population was pigs but now I finally realized how filthy and how disgusting they truly are.

Nevertheless I kept my head high and said nothing, I had at least the common sense not to fight back to words. I had always been taught and knew that all they wanted was for me to fight back and cause a scene, something more to gossip about plus the advantage of knowing they could get under my skin. So I said nothing, acting as if I was truly content and happy on the surface. The only time I did something was when wandering hands came into action, than I’d happily but discreetly crush their hands in my own.

I had Eli there at times to stand up for me, and by the sounds of whispers going around Liam apparently was too even if I hadn’t seen him yet today since I was carefully and tactfully avoiding him like the plague. I couldn’t face Liam; I was too scared to see what I may find, to have to put up a strong face and have to deny him acting as if I didn’t want him.

I didn’t know how much longer I could act so strong.

Sitting during lunch on the oval in the shade under a tree, Eli was sitting beside me on the picnic table and benches, his head in his hands, utter silence between us. I didn’t feel hungry and apparently Eli didn’t either as we sat in utter mute silence the tension thick.

I kept my head down low during lunch, avoiding all the gazes of the schools and I was overly tempted to do an Erin and flee into our school’s library and hide out there. Yet that wasn’t me, I had to keep to me and stand my guard, I wasn’t backing down.

My back suddenly stiffen at the warm hand suddenly resting on my shoulders, the touch putting me instantly putting me on guard until I hear their voice “Shhh it’s alright sweetie, it’s just me.” Liam cooed gently in my ear, my entire body having to fight to repress my shiver of glee and desire.

I let go a breath, saying nothing as I kept my gaze forward.

“Mel we need to talk.” He murmured softly, his hot breath pooling around my ears and tickling my all of the sudden highly sensitive skin.

I shook my head “No, we don’t we’re perf-“

“What, the fuck!” Eli finally spoke, his voice deadly still and clam, frightening me more.

Liam and I both swiftly turned to Eli, his eyes hard and blazing at the sight of something from afar. Turning I followed his gaze to see Erin and the sight alone had my own breath hitching and my heart pounding heavily.

Erin was hand in hand with Jed, her face shielded by her own hair and her face curled into his chest. His other hand was wrapped around her waist holding her tight to his side as he laughed and messed about with no other but his best friend Falan. Jed turned his face down into Erin’s hair and whispered something and suddenly she stopped hiding in his chest, a smile on her face yet not a true one.

What the hell was going on?

Things became more bizarre though when Jed led them over to a seat, over twenty to fifty meters away and he pulled Erin onto her lap. She was again hiding into his chest, her hair still shielding her face from our view. That is until Jed literally grabbed her face and kissed her.

That’s when Eli lost it.

“Oh for fuck sakes!” he shouted pushing his seat back, the metal echoing all around the school, that even Jed looked up with a confused expression. Erin nevertheless kept her head down and shielded even though I knew she had heard.

Eli didn’t wait around any longer though or care, before I knew it he was storming out of school grounds without a second glance. That didn’t stop me though from seeing the utter hurt in his eyes, as if he had been punched literally in the guts and someone had ripped out his heart. His pained expression literally stole my breath and heart.

What had happened after that party?

Liam made a noise similar to a growl “I thought she was going to break up with that fuck head?” he demanded, his protective streak coming into play.

My brow furrowed deeper, my heart still pounding and my mind a muddled mess. None of this made sense “I-I thought so too, that’s what she told me at the football game.” I stammered grasping for straws.

Why was she suddenly all over Jed?

Liam kicked the fallen over chair with a curse “Fuck. Alright I’m going to go find Eli, something’s not right.” He muttered.

I nodded pursing my lips in thought “Something happened that night at the party Liam, I mean Eli’s never acted like this when he’s seen Erin and Jed kiss. You didn’t tell him that she was going to break up with him, right?” I asked Liam, thinking maybe he just got his hopes up only for them to fall.

Liam shook his head “Not a thing, something isn’t fucking right here. I'm going to go speak to Eli, you go talk to my sister, I can’t get over her right now, and I know she’s my sister but god!” He vented his disappointment and confusement absolutely clear.

Liam left without a second look at his sister, leaving me to deal with her. I wasn’t judging her, although right now snuggled up on Jed’s lap she looked happy and they looked like the perfect couple I knew something must be wrong. She was going to break up with him, confront him about cheating. The only explanation I can think of is that he lied to her and denied cheating and she fell for it.

Was she seriously that naïve?

Getting up I made my over to them, my eyes solely on Erin who was still curled into Jed’s chest, his hands sitting on her back making me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t like the sight of his filthy hands all over her, I knew what he was like; he was after all best friends with Falan.

It wasn’t until I was ten meters away that Jed looked up and it was in that moment that I had realized I had utterly forgotten about Falan being there with them. My heart plummeted, and bile rose to my throat, my mouth suddenly parched and goose bumps all over my skin. I felt sick, as if I was drenched in filth and I felt the need to rub my skin raw red.

“What did I tell you Jed? I told you she’d come crawlin’ back for more.” He smirked, his eyes laughing as he looked right at me, without a care or regret in the world.

How could people be such monsters?

Jed laughed and I totally ignored him, my gaze turning back to Erin who was still hiding as if she was asleep. I didn’t think she was asleep at least. It would explain though her actions a little more. “Ez, can we talk?”

Jed interjected for her “Now Mel, we know you are opened to some fairly kinky stuff. But sweet little Erin here doesn’t do that sort of stuff, do you Erin?” he asked, the tone in his voice saying otherwise, an underlying message that had me frowning more.

Falan moved around the table towards me, my steps moving backwards. I couldn’t be in the same vicinity with him, even if that meant to talk to Erin. I just couldn’t do it, and I realized I’d just have to talk to her later when she was alone. My heart plummeted more when the possibility of her being mad at me came to mind. Had Falan told her his side of the story that was an entire lie? Was she mad that she heard from him? Was she disgusted with me?

As soon as Falan’s skin touched mine I reacted, pulling back sharply with a hiss “Don’t touch me.” I seethed, trying to keep a strong façade.

Falan smirked “You always were like putty under my touch, isn’t that right darling?”

I could feel the bile rise in my mouth; I wasn’t going to last much longer. I turned to Erin “We need to talk, when you find the time come find me.” I said to Erin’s back trying to keep my tone light and friendly. I turned back to Falan looking him right in the eye “Keep the fuck away from me.” I said, my voice like Eli’s deadly calm.

With that I walked off school’s property.

It wasn’t until I was a block away did I break down and finally let the tears come again. Being so close to Falan when my mind would go back to what had happened, what I could remember and afterwards with the video made me want to puke. It didn’t take long for me to find a garbage and for me to empty my contents into it, dry heaving.

Finally pushing myself up and off the garbage bin as I had been leaning against it with all my might, I stumbled righting myself. The tears kept coming, and I knew that I’d look like a mess, with swollen red, puffy eyes as I stumbled like some drunk. I clutched my stomach trying to pull myself back together and finally I pulled myself back together.

Wiping underneath my eyes and my mouth as my mouth tasted of vomit I took a swig of water and then gargled and spat into a bush. I righted my clothing and the only evidence I may have been the slightest off would be my red tear stained eyes and my chalk pale skin that look so fragile, like dust.

Walking further down my street is when I noticed a figure standing on our front porch and I groaned thinking it was Liam. Not right now, I felt like screaming. Couldn’t I just have five minutes to just recuperate and put my façade into place?

However the closer I got the more I realized that it wasn’t Liam the person was too big, an outline of an adult. It couldn’t be my mum either because she’d be inside for one since she had a key and because the figure was a male.

It wasn’t until I turned onto our houses path that they turned around, their graying black hair that was thinning out in sight, and his sharp grey eyes capturing mine. He was in a suit, an expensive one at that, and he looked well aged with muscles. He would be handsome to adults.

But to me he just made me sick.

I stopped dead in my tracks, the bile rising in my throat as I said one word I thought I’d never speak again “Dad?”

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Did I drop a bomb shell or did I drop a bomb shell? A whole bunch of 'em too! Her dad's here?! Why is Erin all over Jed?! Thoughts?! :O

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