Too far away to feel you

But I can't forget your skin

Wonder what you're up to

What state of mind you're in

Are you thinking about the last time?

Your lips all over me

'Cause I play it and I rewind

~*~*~*~*~*~

Friday, January 24, 2020

"You've got the part."

I stared blankly at my bookcase, Steph's words not quite registering in my mind. "I... What?"

Steph laughed on the other end of the line. "You have the part. You know, that movie you auditioned for a couple of weeks ago? The spy movie? You'll be playing the CIA operative, Lily Davis. Filming starts in a month but prep starts next week, so you'd better be used to the idea by then."

"I actually have it? I was so sure I wouldn't. You should've seen the way the casting director looked at me..."

"Well, apparently you did something right after all. And I promise you, this director will be so much better than that asshole whose name we shall no longer say out loud."

I bit my lip. It had been a month since I'd finished filming that thriller with Vince, but the memory of his hurtful words was still fresh in my mind. When you already get as stuck in negativity as I do, it's a lot harder to realize that other people's negative comments about you aren't true. It was also why I'd taken a break for myself for a while. I hadn't started auditioning again until two weeks ago. I hadn't been in the right mindset to. And don't get me wrong, I was nowhere near the Juliette Morrison I'd been during the filming of If You Love Someone, but I was getting there. Very slowly, but I was getting there.

"That's... good. So, whom will I be playing opposite of?"

"That's actually a good question," Steph answered sheepishly. "I just heard that you got the part and didn't bother to ask further than your interests. Do you need me to call them back and ask them for you?"

"No... No, that's okay. I'll just keep an eye on The Hollywood Reporter. They're usually pretty fast in posting those things."

Steph snorted. "They are. I wouldn't be surprised if they've already announced that you've got the part. Anyway, enjoy it. Go celebrate while you still can, because from what I hear, prep will be... intense."

I nearly groaned. Because this would be such an action-heavy movie, there was a rigorous training program beforehand. I had to be in shape so I could do some of my stunts myself, and so I would look the part. But I'd known that before I'd even auditioned, so I tried not to complain about it too much. I could handle doing a bit of exercise.

Steph hung up, leaving me to mull over this amazing opportunity. If You Love Someone had been pretty big, but this movie had the potential to be even bigger, simply because action movies generated much bigger audiences than romantic comedies. The movie I'd done with Vince was also sure to rake in big numbers, though I wasn't too proud of my performances in that one. Because I was never fully at ease on set, I could never give my best, which was a damned shame. I should've tried harder.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help but wonder how I'd gotten this lucky. Miserable as though I might be, my career was sky-rocketing. I couldn't quite believe that within the course of a year, I'd managed to land three major Hollywood productions. After only three years of hearing no or only getting small parts, I seemed to have really made it. Maybe, in a few more years, I'd be a household name.

I shook my head. I didn't want to get my hopes up too much. Of course, it was my dream to become a household name, to be so wanted as an actress that I didn't even have to audition anymore, to just get roles offered to me because they wanted me specifically, but I was afraid to jinx it. It wasn't like I was overly superstitious, but it was best to be safe.

But then, slowly, a smile made the corners of my mouth tilt up. I'd be playing a super badass CIA operative. How cool is that? I'd get to play with guns, kick bad people's asses and save the world. Even if my career ended after this movie, I still would've been able to do all that, and that made it all worth it.

The biggest smile I'd smiled in a long time covering my face, I made my way downstairs. Hanna had just come back from work, black riding pants and boots still on, the smell of horses around her stronger than usual. She was rocking out to a song on her iPod, mouthing along the words as she dug around in the kitchen's cabinets in search of something to eat, so it took her a while to spot me. When she did, she jumped a little and yanked the earbuds out of her ears. "Yeesh, you scared me."

I grinned. "Not my fault. I'm not the one blasting—what is it? Jesse McCartney circa 2006?—into my ears."

She shrugged, turning her iPod off. "True enough. And hey, don't hate on my Jesse McCartney."

I held up my hands in defense. "Hey, I'm not. Just So You Know is still one of my favorite songs ever."

"Good." She finally settled on a pack of chocolate chip cookies and sat down by the breakfast bar, opening the pack and taking out a cookie. She bit into it and rested her elbows on the counter, leaning forward as she studied me. "Why are you smiling?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Is there something on my face?"

I shook my head, my smile widening. "No, your face is flawless, as always. I just got a call from Steph and she told me that I got the part of Lily Davis. You know, that spy movie I auditioned for?"

Hanna grinned, jumping up to give me a hug, her cookie temporarily forgotten. "Oh my God, I'm so proud of you!" she squealed, her arms so tight around me that I could hardly breathe. "You really are going to make it big. You're already doing it."

I laughed. "Thanks. But seriously, though, you smell like horse manure."

She wrinkled up her nose, pulling back. "Sorry. I don't even smell it anymore."

"That's why you've got me; to tell you that you stink."

She laughed. "Hey, there's a limit," she warned jokingly, pointing at me. "Anyway, I'll go shower real quick. And then we're gonna call all of our friends and tell them that we're going out tonight to celebrate. I mean, how long has it been since we've all been out together? And this is the perfect occasion."

"All right. But only because I know I won't be able to change your mind once it's made. You should invite Scott, too." Over the months, they'd grown closer and closer together. They were actually so cute together that it was gross, and I often found myself retreating to my room whenever he was over. It wasn't like I wasn't happy for them—because I really, really was—but I couldn't really handle happy couples because I was still so hung up over... well, you know.

"You sure?" Hanna verified, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "I mean, it's your party."

"I know, but Scott makes you happy, and you being happy makes me happy. Besides, it's not like I'm getting rid of Scott any time soon," I joked.

A dopey smile took over her features. "Scott and I really are doing well, aren't we?"

I smiled. I really hadn't been kidding about her happiness bringing me happiness. "Yeah, you are. I'm really happy for you. You deserve a nice guy that treats you the way you deserve. I'll still kick him in the balls repeatedly if he hurts you, though. So make sure he's warned."

Hanna laughed, picking up her cookie again. "I'll tell him. Anyway, I'm gonna shower now. In the meanwhile, you inform all the others in the group text that we're going out tonight. Make it clear that saying no or rescheduling isn't an option. We're all going out tonight, period."

I smiled. "I'll be sure to invite them very sternly," I joked. "Now, on to a completely different topic: Takeout for dinner tonight?"

"Sure. Pizza, though. You know how I feel about Chinese." She pulled a face, shuddered, and took another bite of her cookie before traipsing up the stairs.

I smiled, shaking my head. My best friend could be a handful sometimes, but I loved her to pieces. I sat down on the barstool she'd abandoned and retrieved my phone to send a text to the group chat all ten of us were in.

Hey, guys! To celebrate that I landed a new role (omfg), wanna go out tonight? (Hanna wants you to know it's not really a question, more of a demand.)

I smiled as I sent the text, smiling even bigger when Hanna sent out a text soon thereafter.

FOR REALZ. EVERYBODYS COMING ALONG TONITE.

RSVPs came in quickly after that, along with congratulations. Once everyone had said they'd be there tonight, I allowed myself to really get excited about a night out with my friends. Hanna hadn't been lying; it really had been too long since we'd all gone out. We always preferred to stay in and watch horror movies and play drinking games all night, but sometimes clubbing was the preferred way of celebrating.

I ordered some Domino's on my phone, making sure they would deliver it one hour and a half from now, and went upstairs to dig around in my closet to try and find an outfit for tonight. Eventually I settled on a purple cocktail dress and laid it out on my bed before going back downstairs.

"So, you'll be playing a spy, huh?" Hanna asked, plopping down next to me on the couch, her wet hair wrapped in a towel on the top of her head. I looked up with a start. I'd mindlessly been playing a game on my phone and hadn't heard her come down. "I gotta say, I'm mildly jealous of that."

I smiled, putting my phone away. "I'm jealous of myself," I told her. "It's gonna be so cool to play Lily. What'll be less cool, though, is the training I'll have to do for this role."

Hanna wrinkled up her nose. "Yeah... Less jealous of you for that. But still. My best friend will be a spy. How many people can say that?"

"Not many, I'd guess. I'll be a fake spy, though."

"Yeah, but even then, there still aren't many people who can say their best friend is a fake spy."

I snorted. "True enough. Anyway, I ordered pizza, so that should come in about half an hour."

"Good. We'll start getting ready after we've eaten. Oh, by the way, I texted Steph, and she managed to get us VIP in Cielo, so that's definitely happening."

I felt my eyes widen. Cielo was a big club in Hollywood, and getting in was hard enough, let alone getting into VIP. "Steph must've pulled some serious strings."

"I know, right? Steph knew you've been feeling kinda... blue, these days, so she wanted to do something special for you. Besides, you're a big name in Hollywood now. You would've gotten in no problem anyway. It's the rest of us that would have more trouble. Well, maybe not Scott, but he's the exception."

"Maybe. But either way, the others will probably enjoy VIP. Especially Cynthia."

Hanna grinned. "Oh, she'll die."

We continued to talk about everything and nothing, just like we always used to, and before we knew it, the pizzas had come and gone. We retreated to our respective rooms to get ready for tonight.

I did my makeup before putting on the dress, way too afraid I'd ruin it otherwise. The dress was a deep purple, its skirt flaring out and ending a few inches above my knees, and the top was covered in white lace. The heels I was wearing were covered in rhinestones, and they matched my dress perfectly, color-wise. I'd done my hair up in a high, messy ponytail, not wanting to have it down. Once I was ready, I went back downstairs to wait for Hanna, who always—no matter what—took longer to get ready than me.

When she finally did walk down those stairs, though, my eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. She looked gorgeous. She was wearing a deep red, collared skater dress with mesh sleeves covered in lace appliqué. Her blonde hair was pinned to the back of her head, the long wavy strands tumbling over her shoulders and back. Her lips were painted the same red as her dress.

"Holy crap, Han. You should wear red more often."

She smiled, a slight blush covering her cheeks. "Are you sure? It's not too much?"

I shook my head. "No. Well, Scott will probably die when he sees you, but it's not too much."

I knew she wanted to protest, but just then, the doorbell rang. When I opened the door, I stood face to face with Shaye, Brayden, Alfie and Ryley. I greeted them all with a hug and a bright smile. We'd agreed to gather up here before taking taxis to Cielo together, figuring that would be easiest.

"Your dress matches my hair!" Shaye said with a grin. She'd dyed it purple a few weeks ago ("New year, new me!" she'd explained. "Well, new hair anyway."), and I guessed it indeed was exactly the same shade.

"Huh. I hadn't even realized that. And Hanna's wearing a dress that matched your old hair."

Eyes wide, Ryley asked, "McLynn's wearing red? This I gotta see." He marched past me through to the living room, and the four of us followed after him, amused. "Damn, mama! You look hot."

"Hello to you, too, Ryley," Hanna said, sounding equally as amused as we felt.

"But really, though," Alfie said, taking her in. "You should wear red more often."

"That's what I said," I said, giving her a pointed look. "See? It's not too much."

"If I'm getting a reaction like this, it's too much." Hanna was usually a pretty self-confident person, but somehow she always had a hard time accepting compliments. Sometimes I forgot how alike we really were. "But too late to change now," she said as the doorbell rang again.

Shaye opened the door and came back with Scott trailing behind her. "Beware of your girlfriend, my friend," she warned him, despite only having met him once or twice. "She looks smoking. And I would know, raging bisexual that I am."

Scott shook his head, amused. "Good to kn—" He stopped in his tracks as he saw Hanna, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping ever so slightly. "Wow. Okay. You weren't kidding."

"I never kid when it comes to hot people," Shaye said matter-of-factly. It was true enough, I supposed. She really didn't, nor was she ever afraid to point out that someone was 'hot as hell.'

"You look beautiful, babe," Scott said, stepping up to his girlfriend to give her a kiss hello. And when she smiled into the kiss, gently resting her fingertips on his cheek, I couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. It was disgusting, but it was true: I was jealous of my best friend.

I should've been happy alongside her, with my own boyfriend to kiss me hello and tell me I'm beautiful. It wasn't like I was jealous of her kissing Scott (I'd kissed Scott myself for If You Love Someone, and though he was not a bad kisser, I just didn't have feelings for him), I was jealous of her happiness. And though, of course, I was happy that she was happy because she well and truly deserved it, but I couldn't help but crave that happiness she was feeling, if that made any sense.

Truth was, I was still madly in love with Henry, and though I tried to suppress it and succeeded most of the time, I still couldn't help but feel the sting of him being with someone else every time I saw a happy couple. I hoped that didn't make me a terrible person, but I couldn't help the way I felt. I wish I could, then I would finally be able to stop being this miserable all the time.

By the time Hanna and Scott pulled away from each other, the doorbell rang again, and this time I hurried to open it, needing a distraction.

Of course, when I opened the door, I stood face to face with yet another happy couple. But nevertheless, I plastered a big smile on my face. "Hey, Keegs, Riss," I greeted them, giving both of them a tight hug.

Soon after Keegan and Klarissa, Colin and Cynthia arrived, and we were complete.

As we were waiting for our taxis to arrive, Keegan said, "So, congrats on your new role, sis. What will you be playing this time?"

I smiled. "It's kind of awesome, really. I'll be playing Lily Davis, a no-nonsense, super badass CIA operative. So that's definitely awesome."

Braeden grinned. "Will you be kicking the asses of guys twice your size? 'Cause I'll actually pay to see that."

"Maybe. I guess you'll just have to wait until the movie comes out to see."

"Aww, no! That's unfair," Ryley whined. "Can't you share a tiny bit of the script?"

"Nope. These lips are sealed," I teased with a grin.

"It's Juliette. Of course she'll be kicking ass," Colin said, mirroring my grin.

"There's no doubt in my mind about that," Scott said. "I've seen her acting in person and it's amazing."

"Not everyone will agree with you on that," I told him.

Hanna heaved an annoyed sigh. "You need to forget about that sick old fuck." Everyone in this room knew about Vince to a certain extent, but she knew most. And even her I hadn't told everything. Some comments were just too hurtful to repeat. "He's an abusive asshole that no longer has any power over you. You're stronger than he is."

Knowing that was easier said than done, I smiled anyway. This was a night of celebration. I didn't want to get hung up on all the negativity that had been plaguing me for too long already. "You're right."

"Besides, everything that asshole said is all bullshit anyway," Scott said. "I've seen you act firsthand, and you're amazing at it."

"Yeah, what was that even like?" Ryley asked, randomly changing the subject. "Like, isn't it weird to have kissed your girlfriend's best friend? And Jules, isn't it weird for you to have kissed your best friend's boyfriend?"

I felt my cheeks grow hot and I found myself avoiding Hanna's gaze. "No, not really. Well, I mean, maybe? But it was work, zero feelings involved whatsoever, so in that sense it's not really all that weird. It's only weird to see it again, I guess."

"That was weird for me too," Hanna confessed. "Actually seeing it. But there're no hard feelings. I didn't even know Scott when they were doing their kissing scenes."

"I think it would've been weirder to film if the two of you had been together already," I admitted. "Then the situation would've been totally different."

"I agree," Scott said.

We were luckily spared from more awkward topics by our taxis arriving.

The closer we got to Cielo, the more of my negativity I felt slipping away. I was ready to make this a good night with my friends, with no further mention or thought of either Vince or Henry. I had scored a new big role in a big movie, and I had all my best friends with me. There was no reason this shouldn't be a great night.

And we were off to a great start once we'd entered the VIP area and gathered around a table. Hanna had ordered a round of vodka shots first thing, and was now proposing a toast. "To Juliette, my amazing best friend, who has shown time and time again that she's capable of anything she sets her mind to. To Juliette, who will start playing a super kick-ass spy next month. To Juliette, who's conquering the fucking world!"

"Hear, hear!" my friends shouted, and, feeling a bubbly feeling in my chest that very well might've been happiness, I knocked my shot back just as everyone else did the same. The vodka burned in my throat, especially seeing as I hadn't drank anything else yet, but I couldn't be bothered to care.

I ordered a strawberry daiquiri next, and happily let Keegan drag me onto the dance floor as soon as I had my drink in my hand. He pulled me close so he could shout into my ear. "I am so fucking proud of you, sis!"

I grinned at him. "Thank you!" I shouted back over the loud, bass-heavy music. I knocked my drink back as fast as I could without giving myself brain freeze so I could put my glass to the side and fully focus on dancing with Keegan.

I was rotated around my friends a lot, every single one of them wanting to dance with me, and I even danced with a few strangers in-between. It was the most fun I'd had in a while. It had been too long since I could just be myself and act crazy, even around my friends. For too long, my feelings for Henry and Vince's hurtful words had been dragging me down, but no more. I finally felt like I could get past all that. I was stronger than Vince's abuse, and Henry was just a guy. I could get over him. And if I tried hard enough, I could also get over the fact that I'd helped him cheat on his girlfriend. It was time I left my past behind and started focusing on my future, which, I realized, was starting to look brighter and brighter.

After a few dances and quite a few more drinks, I was finally dancing with Hanna again. We were both grinning like idiots as we swayed our hips to Avicii's latest remix. "Are you happy we went out?" she shouted over the music.

I nodded. "So happy! Best night ever! That could also be the alcohol talking, though."

Hanna laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into a hug as we kept dancing. I loved this girl so much, and I owed her so much. She truly was the best BFF I could ever wish for. "I love you, Julie!"

"I love you, too, Han. So fucking much," I told her, tightening my arms around her.

There was a sudden tap on my shoulder, and I turned around to see a handsome guy around my age smiling down at me. He had a clean-shaven face with a sharp jawline and smoldering brown eyes. His hair seemed to be the color of caramel (it was hard to tell underneath the club's strobe lights), and was done in an undercut, the strands on top of his head flopping down cutely. There was no denying that he was hot. "Wanna dance?" he asked me.

I shot one look at Hanna, who was trying to encourage me without it being too obvious, and I turned back to the man, nodding. "Sure!" I shouted back, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on my hips.

"I'm Travis," he introduced himself. "And you?"

"I'm Juliette. It's nice to meet you."

His smile widening, Travis said, "And it's definitely nice to meet you." He pulled me a little closer so our hips were grinding against each other.

The alcohol humming pleasantly in my veins, I kept dancing with Travis. I didn't know how long we danced, but I didn't really care, either. I was having fun, and besides, there were worse dance partners out there than Travis. He was a good dancer, and definitely not bad to look at, either. Without really noticing it, we got closer and closer, until there was hardly any space between us. Then, before I knew it, he grinned at me and dipped his head low, capturing my lips with his.

The kiss was surprisingly... anticlimactic. I didn't know what I'd been expecting, but it wasn't this. This just felt exactly like it was: Lips on lips. It was a simple kiss without any of the fun side effects—the quickened heartbeat, the butterflies in my stomach, the feeling of sparks flying everywhere... The kiss was empty and hollow, and it just didn't feel right. It wasn't at all like kissing Henry had been. I'd felt all those things with him, and so much more.

I quickly broke the kiss, before it could transgress any more than it already had. I doubted Travis had any other motives besides getting lucky tonight, but it still wasn't fair to him. "I... I'm sorry," I told him. "But I have to get back to my friends now. It was nice to have met you!" And I quickly made my way through the crowd, back to the table my friends were at. There were a few people missing, probably lost on the dance floor somewhere, but they'd be back soon.

"What happened there?" Hanna asked, nudging me with her elbow. "That guy was hot, right?"

"He kissed me," I told her.

She leaned forward eagerly, a grin on her face. "And?"

"And nothing. I literally felt nothing. There were no sparks, no butterflies, no nothing. So I got the hell away from him. Why bother if kissing him feels like the world's biggest anticlimax?"

"True enough, I suppose." She brightened, nudging me again with her elbow. "You'll find someone new to fall in love with, I promise."

I wasn't as convinced as her, but I still smiled and nudged her back, determined not to let one bad kiss with a stranger drag me down. When Keegan and Klarissa joined us and we were complete again, I said, "How about one more round of shots, huh?"

My friends shouted in agreement and I ordered a round of eleven shots. We raised our shot glasses in the air and Colin said, "To an amazing night!"

I downed my shot, and the alcohol burned a lot less already than the first shot I'd done, a testament to how much I'd drank already. Remembering the catastrophe that had happened the last time I drank this much, I decided that maybe it would be smart to cut myself off for at least a little while. I'd order a Coke next.

The next half hour or so I spent talking and laughing with my friends. The more movies I starred in, the less time I had to spend with them, especially in a setting where we were all together, and I genuinely missed it. Apart from Hanna, whom I'd been friends with for well over two decades, these people had been my life for the past four years. I owed them a lot and I loved them a lot. They were there for me when I needed them most, no questions asked, and they never judged me. They understood and loved me, and for that I was so grateful. Some of my best memories were with them, memories I wouldn't give up for the world.

Suddenly Cynthia's phone buzzed, and I quickly scooped it up before it could clatter to the floor—there's nothing worse than an iPhone with a cracked screen. "Oh my God, thank you so much!" she said when I handed it to her. "Oh, hey, look! I have this app that notifies me every time there's a new article on you, and you were just mentioned on The Hollywood Reporter."

"It's probably just about how I got the part. Open it, maybe it says something about who I'll be playing opposite of."

Cynthia clicked on the article and quickly read through it, growing a little pale as she did. "Uh, Jules... Maybe you should read this for yourself."

She handed me her phone, and I automatically felt my heart skip a beat when I saw a picture of me next to one of Henry. Figuring it couldn't possibly mean what I feared it meant, I quickly set to reading.

"Juliette Morrison is in talks to star opposite of Henry Cavill in the untitled spy project from Universal and Regency.

Alona Baidar is directing the action comedy which is being produced by Grant King, Nick Smith, Naomi Clarence and Baidar.

The movie will see Cavill as an NSA operative and Morrison as a CIA agent. The couple will be forced to work together when a nuclear weapon that could wipe out a third of the world is brought onto the market. Their fight against spies from all over the world is made more difficult by their conflicting feelings for each other.

Jane Talbot penned the script.

The movie is expected to start shooting next month in Los Angeles.

"I... No. This can't be right. I can't... Oh, God."

Seeing her phone start to slip, Cynthia quickly plucked it out of my hands. "Are you okay, honey?"

I wasn't. I was far from okay. The alcohol had already started to make my head spin, but this article was worsening the alcohol's effects. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, and I felt like I might puke.

After all that had happened between Henry and me and all that didn't, I had to work on another movie with him? I had to kiss him again, most likely for multiple takes? After I'd slept with him, helping him cheat on his international model girlfriend, after not hearing anything from him since, I had to stand face to face with him again?

I really was going to be sick.

"What's wrong?" Hanna asked from the other side of the table, concern clear in her eyes, but I was too out of it to answer, so Cynthia did it for me instead.

"Henry will be her costar in that new movie."

Immediately, everyone around the table quieted. Only Hanna knew what had really gone down between Henry and me, but the others all knew something bad had happened that had caused us to not speak anymore. They didn't know the details, but they knew enough to never bring him up in conversation again.

I stood up, needing to get out of there. I needed to get away from their sympathetic gazes, away from the walls that were still closing in on me, away from the thumping bass of the music, away from the flashing strobe lights.

When I got outside, the crisp January air helped a little with my shock and nausea, but not much. I leaned against the wall, looking up at the sky. I wanted to see the stars—seeing the stars always helped me when I was having a panic attack—but catching even a glimpse of the galaxy was nearly impossible in Los Angeles. There were simply too many lights, too much smog.

A sudden hand on my shoulder made me jump. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Hanna said, her voice gentle.

"It's okay."

"How are you holding up?"

I gave her a sarcastic smile. "Super."

A slight hint of annoyance in her voice, Hanna said, "You don't have to do that with me, Jules. You know that. Now how are you really?"

I felt the tears prickle behind my eyes, and I blinked rapidly, hoping they wouldn't spill over. "I'm freaking out, Han. I can't do this. I can't face him after everything that happened between us in Amsterdam. I just can't."

She studied me intently for a long moment. "You still love him." It was an observation, not a question, but I still nodded. "And you're afraid of what he thinks of you now. Even despite everything else, you're still wondering if he feels for you what you feel for him."

Intoxicated Hanna was surprisingly insightful. Everything she'd just said was true. "I do. So now you see why I can't face him. I don't even want to see him from a distance, let alone have to kiss him again. Not after everything."

"You can, though," Hanna encouraged me. "This is purely your anxiety talking, and you are so much stronger than it. I know it doesn't feel that way right now—probably far from it—but you can do this. And who knows, maybe, once you two get talking again, it'll turn out this was all a huge misunderstanding and you can go through life as friends. Or maybe even more, you'll never know. So try to stop focusing on the negative, and focus on the positive."

"But what if he avoids me all the time? We really only have to say our lines and then we can go our separate ways again. People will start to notice and then we'll create a hostile atmosphere at work, and everything will go straight to hell."

"Again, stop focusing on the negative. That is a really big 'what if,' and you know it. You'll get through this and come out of it stronger, I can feel it in my water."

I smiled a little at that. 'I can feel it in my water' is the Dutch version of 'I can feel it in my bones,' and ever since she found out about it, she's been using that one instead. It had become kind of an inside joke with us, along with 'it walks in the soup.' (Really, Dutch proverbs literally translated into English were the best.) But even our inside joke wasn't enough to keep the negative way of thinking at bay for long. "No, Hanna, I really can't do this. I'm gonna call Steph and tell her that I'm not doing this movie. They're just gonna have to cast someone else."

Hanna sighed. "Jules, no. The announcement is already made. The contract might not be signed yet, but you can't go back now. If you do, people will only start to gossip about you and Henry, and I'm guessing that's not at all what you want."

I held my head in my hands as I slowly slid down the wall, sitting on my haunches. "No," I groaned. "No, it's not."

Hanna hauled me up and cupped my face in her hands, forcing me to look her in the eye. "I know it sucks. I really, really do. But I'm afraid you have no other choice but to work with Henry again. And I have full faith in you. You can do this."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well then... Who saw that coming? It looks like Juliette and Henry will have no other choice but to see each other again...

Song at the start of the chapter is Thousand Miles by Tove Lo.

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