My heart is racing as you're moving closer

You take me higher with every breath I take

Would it be wrong to stay?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Monday, November 28, 2019.

"There you guys are!" my agent said, obvious relief flowing through her as she saw us walking into the hotel. "Have you guys eaten yet? Too bad if you haven't, because you need to get your butts over to the studio right now. You can't be late for that talk show. Do you have any idea how incredibly unprofessional that is? Ella is already there, and hopefully she can fix that coupe de wind the both of you have going on. Where did you even go?"

"I'm... I'm sorry, Steph," I said, trying not to laugh at her tirade. "We were visiting my grandparents, and on the way back, the train hit a bit of a delay." Seriously, you can never trust the trains to arrive on time in the Netherlands.

"Do your grandparents have a wind machine at their place or something?" Steph asked, raking her hands through my still messy hair as she guided us to the car. "Christ."

Henry and I shared an amused glance before getting in the car. I did realize how stressful it might've been for Steph, my poor agent, but I was still too happy. Today had virtually been the perfect day so far. I got to visit one of my favorite cities in the world, got to see my grandparents again, and actually had fun with Henry, against all odds. The day wasn't over yet, though, and anything could still happen. And I had a feeling anything would.

"Oh, dearie," Ella chastised me kindly as soon as she saw me. "Come here so I can start untangling that beautiful hair of yours. Have you two been standing in front of a wind machine?"

"That's what I asked them too," Steph said.

"No, we didn't," I said, and I couldn't stop a small smile shaping my lips. "We might've climbed a three hundred and fifty foot high church, though."

"Well, I hope you at least had fun." Ella gave me a look that only I could understand. She was the only one in the room who knew of my feelings for Henry, and she was silently asking if I was okay.

I nodded, smiling, answering both of her questions. "Yeah, we had fun."

As I sat down in a chair and Ella gently started unknotting my hair, Henry said, "It was indeed fun, but I think I'll have nightmares for a long time to come."

"Nightmares?" Ella questioned. "Why would you have nightmares?"

"Because Juliette told me lots of colorful stories about decapitation, public castration, dismembering, throwing hearts into—"

"Okay, okay, okay," Ella said quickly, interrupting Henry's enumeration of what I'd told him today. "I've heard quite enough. Don't want to give me nightmares as well, do you?" Delicately starting to untangle the next knot, Ella asked me, "Why were you telling him stories like that anyway?"

"I was just telling him my parents' hometown's history. And I was also trying to teach him not to mess with the Dutch, which inadvertently means me."

Henry laughed, actually throwing his head back. "Oh, that's why you were telling me all that, huh?"

"And why I fed you the salmiak," I teased, grinning.

"You are a cruel woman, Morrison," Henry said, smiling as he sank down on the couch standing against the room's biggest wall. "In more ways than one."

"In more ways than one, huh? I'm intrigued now. In which ways?"

He just smiled, shook his head, and took out his phone. My smile quickly dropped once I realized he was probably texting Alyssa, so I tried to distract myself by taking out my own phone. It would be around noon in Los Angeles now, so I had no qualms about sending a text to Hanna.

Hey.

hey babe. how r u?

I don't know. One moment I was good, and the next...

anxiety?

Maybe. Just feeling kind of low about myself.

don't. ur beautiful & amazing & smart & funny & AWESOME. don't let nobody getchu down.

I'll try not to.

i'll send u some best friend telepathy moral support.

I smiled at that and put my phone back in my pocket. Maybe I was just overreacting. I'd known Henry was back with Alyssa long before he took out his cellphone, so there was no reason for me to be upset about it. I'd just be happy that we'd had this day together, and I wouldn't have to see him anymore afterwards. That knowledge didn't exactly make me happy, but it at least made me feel relieved that I wouldn't have to feel so conflicted anymore. And after a while of not seeing him, surely my feelings for him would slowly die out.

"Who were you talking to?" Henry asked, and that conflicted feeling in me instantly came back when I heard the almost jealous note in his voice.

"Hanna," I said, giving no further information. "And you?"

He smiled as he looked down at his phone, and I held my breath, fearing for the worst. "My mother," he said, which came as a surprise. I released the breath I'd been holding in relief, then got mad at myself for feeling relieved, because the statement meant nothing. He was still with Alyssa, and him texting his mother instead of her didn't change that. "I wanted an update on Kal."

"Oh. And how is he doing?"

"He's good. He made a friend at the park today. I seem to miss him more than he does me."

I grinned. "That's perfectly understandable," I teased. "He's much more adorable than you, so it kind of figures."

Henry raised an eyebrow in amusement, grinning back at me. "I'm not adorable?"

I eyed him, pretending to think about it for a moment. "Hm, you have your moments, I suppose." Belatedly, I realized we were pretty much right out flirting, so I attempted to reel it in. "But you'll see him soon."

Henry smiled, but there was hint of sadness to it that immediately made me wonder why it was there. "I will, yes."

Steph had grossly overestimated our lateness, and Ella managed to turn my straight hair into loose waves—a feat I was jealous of because I knew I would never be able to recreate it myself—before she started in on my makeup.

When she grabbed a tube of bright red lipstick, my eyes widened. "Whoa, Ella, are you sure about that?"

"What? The red lipstick? Yes, I am. This color would fit your complexion perfectly."

"I guess I'm just not really a red lipstick kinda girl. I always worry about getting it all over my face and teeth."

Ella laughed. "Don't worry, dearie. This won't rub off. It won't even leave a mark on a glass when you drink something. It's a pain to remove, though, so you'll probably wake up with it still on tomorrow, but that won't be a problem, will it?"

I shook my head. "No, it won't. Go ahead, I guess."

Ella applied the red lipstick, and I found it did fit my complexion perfectly. It also made me look kind of badass, which was an added bonus.

"Your outfit is over there," Ella said, pointing to a pile of clothes on the armrest of the couch Henry was sitting on. A pair of Jeffrey Campbells stood under it. "You can change in that room over there. I picked the outfit out for you myself, so I think everything should fit you just fine."

I nodded in thanks and grabbed the pile of clothes and ankle boots before disappearing through the door. It was a small changing room with just a bench to sit on, but it sufficed for a quick outfit change. I sat down on the bench and surveyed the outfit Ella had picked out for me, discovering that she'd been bolder in her choices than I would've been. The outfit consisted of a white blouse and black faux leather pants. The blouse's material was a little sheer, which meant you would be able to see my bra through it. That realization made me blush, especially once I realized I'd had the (maybe not so) unfortunate luck to have put on a black push-up bra covered in lace this morning. At least it wasn't the white cotton bra covered in soft pink polka dots I'd also put in my suitcase. The leather pants were also a choice I wouldn't have made myself. The shoes were more up my alley, but that was probably because I'd been lusting after them for a while, and owned several other pairs of Jeffrey Campbells already. These Litas were black and the heels were covered in spikes and studs. They were bolder than the pairs I owned already, but I loved them nonetheless.

Basically, it was an outfit I would've chosen myself if I'd been a lot ballsier than I actually was. I loved it, but I just didn't have the confidence for it. But I knew it was my only option and had no other choice but to change into the clothes—I couldn't very well be on television while wearing a sweater with a gravy stain on the front. Once everything was on, I studied my reflection in the mirror on the door. I looked different. More badass, but still enough of myself to not totally freak out. And if I was being honest instead of constantly hating on myself, I actually looked kind of good. I was right in my assessment of the blouse's sheer fabric, though. My bra was visible through it, but the lace actually made the outfit look even bolder, in a really good way.

I took a deep breath and went back into the main green room. At first, no one really paid me any attention. Steph was busy on her phone and Henry had his back to me as Ella worked on his hair and makeup. But even though he was the only one to have his back turned to me, Henry was actually the first to notice me. His gaze fell on me through the mirror, and he seemed to stiffen up. "Whoa."

"Whoa what?" Steph asked distractedly, never taking her eyes off her phone as she typed busily.

"Whoa Juliette," Henry clarified, turning around in his chair even though Ella held a makeup brush in her hand and was just about to touch it to his face.

She was about to chastise him for moving when she looked at me. A slow grin took over her face. "I was hoping you were wearing a good bra."

At her words, two extra pairs of eyes swiveled down to my chest, and I fought the urge to cover myself up. "Yeah, well, what if I was wearing a hot pink bra? One of those girly ones that's only worn by tweens?"

Steph raised an eyebrow. "You own one of those?"

I found myself grow red and regretted saying that. "Well, no. But I do have some bras that would not look good underneath this shirt, and would make me look like a fool while my grandparents are watching."

Shit. My grandparents would be watching this. That realization nearly made me turn right round and change back into the gravy stained sweater, but Henry's next words stopped me. "You look amazing, Jules," he said, sounding awestruck. He looked it, too, and I wondered how many times he'd called me Jules. Not often, if I remembered correctly.

"You think so?" I asked, nervously smoothing down my blouse. Pulling down the fabric only made the bra more visible, making me immediately regret the nervous action.

Henry swallowed before answering. "Yeah. I do."

"Well, enough ogling," Ella said, trying to get him to turn back around with her hands. "We don't have all night, and you're almost done anyway."

I blushed at Ella's usage of the word 'ogling,' but tried to distract myself by sitting down on the couch and grabbing my phone to send another text to Hanna.

I'm pretty sure Henry just checked me out.

well duh. u always look gorge.

I don't know, man. This outfit is pretty ballsy.

ok, now i'm curious. is there a live stream to this thing?

I don't know, maybe.

what channel?

RTL4, I think?

i'm searching now. good luck babe! <3

I sent a heart back to her, and actually felt a bit better now that I knew she would be watching. It would be as close as I could get to actually having her here with me, and I was grateful that she'd still watch even if she wouldn't be able to understand half of it, just to support me.

Once Henry was done and had changed his sweater for a slightly more fashionable one, we walked into the studio, where we met the show's host and other guests. The host was a very jovial man called Jack, dressed in a sharp, stylish suit. He shook our hands firmly, quick to offer us anything we wanted. "Can I get you anything to drink? There's beer, wine, soda..."

Henry's face brightened. "There's beer? I can actually drink beer during the show?"

Jack laughed. "Yes, you can, if you want. We only have Heineken, though."

"Heineken's more than good enough for me."

I chose red wine, and once all that was arranged, Jack introduced us to the other guests. One was a Dutch comedian named Koen, who seemed to suffer from a severe case of ADHD. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, and his words came out in an excited rush. He was nice enough, though, and certainly funny, cracking a few jokes here and there. There was a politician named Sarah, who was a lot more reserved, serving as a stark contrast to Koen. Then there was Niels, a music producer and a judge on The Voice of Holland, and Jamie, a singer whom he'd made a record with. It was a pretty versatile bunch, but I gathered that was usually the case on this show, so they would attract a bigger audience.

Speaking of audiences, there was one within the studio as well. A few dozen people sat around the table in the center of the studio, curiously regarding us all. It made me feel even more nervous, but I tried to ignore both their stares and muttered conversations. If I started to pay attention to it, I knew my anxiety would rear its ugly head, and that was something that I did not want happening.

Before the show started, Henry was given an earpiece so someone could translate everything that was said in Dutch for him. They wanted to give one to me as well, but I assured them that wouldn't be necessary. Then we sat down around the table, and as someone started counting down from five, the show started in earnest.

Jack introduced his show and told the viewers who the guests of tonight were before settling on talking to Sarah first. Though I had a feeling that Jack would save us for last, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the other guests were pulled into the political conversation as well. It was basically one big discussion, except Henry and I didn't know much about Dutch politics, so we didn't have much to add.

Things got a bit more interesting for Henry and me when Jack shifted to Koen, the comedian. Even as he was telling us about his struggle with cancer, he was cracking jokes and getting us to laugh. He'd beaten it, and was about to tour through the country again in a couple weeks.

"My wife'll like that," Koen joked. "I think she's gotten sick of me and the talking I do. Not even to her, just to the voices in my head."

"You talk to yourself a lot?" Jack asked, amused.

"Oh, hell yeah," Koen replied. "I think talking to yourself is healthy. Everyone does it. This is the part where my wife would tell me I've surpassed healthy, though," he said, cracking a grin. He pointed to his head. "I actually heard her say it just now in there."

As he talked more, I found myself envying the ease with which he spoke, and the ease with which he ridiculed himself. He obviously didn't really care what anyone thought of him, and didn't seem to know what embarrassment even was. I wished I was anything like that. But he was also extremely funny, and I made a mental note of his name so I could look him up later.

Then Jack switched to Niels and Jamie, confirming my suspicions that he was saving Henry and me for last. They talked a bit about the song they'd recorded together, and I learned that Niels had been Jamie's mentor on a previous season of The Voice of Holland, and he liked his sound so much that he was determined to work with him for real someday. That day had finally come, and now they performed an acoustic version of the song, Niels on the piano and Jamie strumming an acoustic guitar as he sang.

I understood why Niels so desperately wanted to work with Jamie. His voice was like molten caramel, and the song fit him perfectly. I found myself bobbing my head along to it, listening intently. It was a catchy song, but not one of those empty ones you so often heard on the radio. I loved it, and knew I would be downloading it on iTunes as soon as I had the chance.

"So, Henry," Jack started, "do you like musical competitions?"

"As much as the next guy, I guess," Henry answered. "The only problem is that I don't really have the time to watch them, so I can't get into it as much as I would like. I'll be watching the auditions, and the next thing I know, filming has gotten in the way of me watching and they're announcing the winner already."

"What about you, Juliette?"

I set my wine glass down after taking a sip, trying not to choke at the surprise of being addressed. "Honestly, competitions of any kind sort of make me feel uncomfortable. There's always so much talent, and I always want everyone to win. I hate seeing someone sent home. At the same time, I'm also highly competitive, so I especially can't handle seeing the one I was rooting for sent home. So I usually choose not to watch at all," I joked.

Henry elbowed me and teased, "You should enter a singing competition, Juliette. You're definitely good enough."

At that, Jack raised an eyebrow, clearly interested. "You can sing?"

I laughed good-naturedly, trying not to glare daggers at Henry for putting me on the spot like that. He should've known better. "I sure would like to think so, and sometimes I can convince myself that my singing in the shower actually sounds good, but no. I'm no singer. I'll just stick to acting."

"I'll be the judge of that," Niels said, grinning at his bad pun. "Can you sing something for me?"

I felt myself grow red. "Oh, God..."

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Niels said. But everyone's expectant faces told me otherwise. Henry at least had the decency to look mildly guilty.

"No, no, it's okay. I'll sing something. I apologize in advance if I break any glasses."

Henry gave me a reassuring smile as I took a deep breath, and I realized he actually did like my singing (though, to be honest, the only time he had clearly heard me sing was while we'd both been drunk), and that made me feel a little more confident—but only a little.

"It's just a drop in the ocean / A change in the weather / I was praying that you and me might end up together / It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert / But I'm holding you closer than most / 'Cause you are my heaven."

When I finished, the whole studio was silent for a moment, making me wish I'd never sang for them. I wanted the ground to break open and swallow me whole. I wanted to cry and run out of the studio. But then people started applauding.

"Wow," Niels said. "Just wow. Honestly, I would've turned after the first note."

I blushed, figuring he was just saying that to be polite, to make me feel like less of  a fool. "Thank you."

Jamie leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "That was an amazing song. Did you write it?"

Shaking my head, I said, "No, it's called A Drop in the Ocean, and it's by Ron Pope, an amazing independent artist."

"But seriously, though," Niels said. "Are you sure you don't want a career in music?"

"I'm sure."

"Speaking of your career," Jack said, deftly steering the conversation away from getting more awkward than it already was—for me, at least. "You're still a pretty unknown actress, but I have a feeling we'll be hearing more from you soon."

I smiled. "I would hope so."

"Now, were you born in the Netherlands? Because I heard you have Dutch blood streaming through your veins."

"You heard right," I said, with a much more genuine smile, "but I wasn't born here. I was born in Newark, New Jersey, but my parents were born in Delft, here in the Netherlands. They moved to the States before I was born, but they raised me bilingually, so I do speak Dutch fluently."

"We saw some tweets today about history and not pissing off the Dutch. What were those all about?" Jack asked, amusement and intrigue clear on his face.

Henry laughed. "Juliette taught me some stuff about Delft's history, and what they did to William of Orange's killer. That was pretty brutal."

I just grinned.

"Hence the 'don't piss off the Dutch' tweet."

"Hence that tweet," Henry confirmed.

"So, you two seem to be getting along quite well. Was it always like that?"

"It was, yeah," Henry said, and then he grinned. "Juliette literally fell for me the moment she first saw me."

"Oh, God," I grumbled, covering my face in embarrassment. I resisted the urge to kick him under the table.

Jack obviously couldn't let a scoop like that go, so he said, "Explain, please?"

I uncovered my face again, deciding to take the lead before Henry could embarrass me again. "It was when we were doing a screen test together. I hadn't gotten the role yet—it was actually between me and four other girls, I think—and I was really nervous. I didn't even know Henry would be my costar and hadn't met him yet either. So, naturally, I walk into the room and the first thing I do is trip, sprawling all over the floor. That was literally Henry's first impression of me."

Henry laughed. "Don't worry, you looked totally adorable as you fell. And as far as first impressions go, I've seen much worse, especially when we started doing the scene. This girl completely blew me away, and I knew she should be the one playing Amelia. I told Ryan, the director, as much. Then, a few hours later, I ended up at the restaurant she worked at back then, and a week later I—quite literally—ran into her in a bookstore. I guess it was kind of meant to be that we would be playing opposite each other."

Hearing him sum it up like that, it actually sounded like we were meant for more than that. Which made the sting of him being with Alyssa even worse.

"That story alone sounds like a movie," Jamie said.

Henry laughed. "I guess it does, yes. I was captivated by her from the start, and soon, the whole world will be. Her acting is just so..." He paused as he searched for the word. "Sublime. I can't really describe it any other way. She's just so good. It's like she becomes the character, and it's so easy to get sucked into her performance. So easy, in fact, that I often forgot that I wasn't a spectator but actually had lines to say. She made me mess up more than I would've liked."

I blushed. "I did not," I protested. "You were great. You made playing Amelia easy, because you were so good at being Noah."

"Oh, God," Koen said, grinning. "This is starting to sound like an 'I love you more' argument. Do you have any popcorn, Jack?"

"Sadly, I don't. We have pretzels, though," Jack joked back.

"We'll stop," Henry said with a smile. "But seriously, though, I need everyone to know how good she is, because she wholly deserves every bit of praise in this world."

"Stop it. You'll make me cry," I protested. I'd said it jokingly, but the statement was no joke at all. I already felt the tears sting behind my eyes. My anxiety had played up more than I had realized, and his words amped up my emotions even more. I hoped the talk show was almost over, because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my emotions in check for much longer.

"All right, all right," Henry said, a soft smile shaping his lips. "But seriously, though, everyone should watch this movie, even if it's just to see her brilliance, because I was not kidding about that. She'll go incredibly far in this world."

I actually kicked him under the table this time, and he just laughed. "You're such a..." I searched for the words, but I couldn't find any. All I could think of were curse words, and I wasn't sure if I was allowed to cuss or not.

"All right, I'll stop praising you before you start force feeding me that salmiak stuff."

"You two clearly are pretty close," Jack noted.

I nearly said that we used to be, but swallowed the words just in time. Instead, I said, "I guess you're kind of bound to, after spending so much time together for nearly three months straight."

Henry nodded. "I've formed a few tight bonds throughout my career, and I'm convinced Juliette is one of them. I guess I kind of knew the moment she literally stumbled into my life."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Great interview, guys," Steph said once it was all over. "I loved the banter the two of you had going on, and I'm sure the audience ate it all up too. And Juliette, seriously, are you sure you don't want a singing career? I could totally manage to get you a record deal with those pipes of yours."

I grimaced uncomfortably. "I'm sure, Steph. Acting is more up my alley."

"If you say so," Steph shrugged. "Anyway, you both did great, and Juliette, congratulations on finishing your first real press tour. You did fantastic and exceeded expectations everywhere. People all over the world have fallen in love with you, which was exactly the plan. Have you even seen your follower count on Twitter recently?"

"No. Why?"

"Just check."

"Okay..." Curious now, I managed to wriggle my phone out of the front pocket of my faux leather pants and unlocked it. I opened the Twitter app and went to my own profile.

Juliette Morrison

@JulesMorrison

Actress. Dreamer. Lover. Friend. Klutz extraordinaire.

216 FOLLOWING      332K FOLLOWERS

My eyes widened as I looked at the number staring back at me. After a moment or so, I finally managed to pull my eyes away from my screen, looking at Steph with disbelief. "Are you serious? Well over three hundred thousand people are reading my tweets? God, I'll have to be more careful with what I tweet."

"Nonsense," Henry said. "I always love your tweets."

All the more reason to be more careful if he reads them too.

"Wait. These aren't bought followers, are they?" I verified. "I always hate when people do that."

Steph laughed. "No, they're not. Every single one of them chose to follow you of their own free will. So instead of being more careful with your tweets, I suggest you actually tweet more. Make following you worth their while."

I nodded slowly. "Okay, I will."

"Anyway," Steph said, clapping her hands together, "you're free to do whatever you want. Go celebrate, or finally get some much needed sleep. It's all up to you. I, for one, am gonna choose the second option. You guys need a ride back to the hotel?"

"Uh, yeah, I do. Just let me change back real quick," I said, grabbing the clothes I'd been wearing before.

"You don't have to change back," Ella said. "They're your clothes. You can keep them."

"Really, Ella? Oh, thank you."

Ella grinned. "Don't thank me. They were bought with your money."

I just shook my head with amusement before gathering my stuff and following the others to the SUV waiting for us out back. Once we were headed to our hotel, I fished my phone out of my pocket again, finally getting the chance to check the text message from Hanna I'd noticed earlier.

u were great!!! i forgot how much i actually miss ur pretty face. u looked gorgeous, and that SHIRT. holy crap gurl.

It wasn't too much?

u looked perf. and u gotta sing more often.
You know I won't. Anyway, I love you, and I'll see you tomorrow.

YAY! love u 2.

I wrestled my phone back into my pocket just as we pulled up at the Hilton. Noticing my high heels, Henry lent me a hand to help me out of the car, and I shot him a grateful smile.

When we were in the elevator and quickly going up, Steph and Ella hugged us goodbye, seeing as they would have to get off one floor below us.

"I'm so proud of all you've done, honey," Ella whispered into my ear as she hugged me tightly. "You did it. Stay in touch, okay, dearie?"

I nodded. "I will. Thank you for everything you've done for me, Ella. It means more than you could ever know."

I couldn't see it, but I knew she was smiling. "It was my pleasure. You really have become a daughter to me."

I blinked away my tears and hugged her even tighter. "I love you, Ella."

She pulled back, giving me a warm smile. "I love you, too, dearie. Now, go make your dreams come true. I believe in you, and if you ever need me, I'm just a phone call away."

I nodded. "Okay. Goodbye, Ella."

Ella winked. "See you soon, Juliette." She stroked my cheek as the elevator doors slid open, and with one last smile, she was gone.

Once we were alone in the elevator, Henry said, "You two really have grown close, haven't you?"

I nodded, still trying to blink my tears away. "Yeah, we have. She's like a mother to me, really." The elevator doors slid open again once it reached our floor, and we walked up to my door, where we halted. "Well..." I said slowly, not sure where to start. Part of me wanted to invite him in, and part of me figured that would be totally awkward and, above all, inappropriate. "I had a lot of fun with you on this tour. More than I thought I would."

Henry grinned. "What are you talking about? It's always a fun time with me."

He was right. I did always have fun with him. But he also brought me a shit ton of unwanted anxiety. So I just smiled and rolled my eyes. "That wasn't what I was talking about, Cavill. I meant that stuff like this is pretty hard for someone as anxious as I am. But I managed, and I guess you did help in some ways. It was nice to have someone around who knew what he was doing."

He smiled. "I'm glad I could help."

"Yeah... So, anyway, good night."

His smile turned wistful. "Good night, Juliette." He hesitated for a moment before giving me a hug and kissing my cheek.

The skin his lips had touched still tingled after I'd closed my door and sat down on my bed. That damned, gorgeous man. I sighed and started taking off my shoes, smiling a little as I trailed my fingers over the spikes and studs on the heel. I'd forgotten to thank Ella for these. I let myself fall back on the bed, my arms stretched above my head. I felt incredibly tired after this long and stressful press tour, but I somehow knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep any time soon. Pretty much right when we'd arrived at the studio the talk show was held in, the anxiety had started creeping back, and it refused to let go.

This was it. I'd most likely never see Henry again, unless, if by some happenstance, we'd run into each other again, but it seemed unlikely we'd bump into each other again in a Barnes & Noble, and I wasn't working at Harvey's anymore either. And as the cold hard truth dawned on me, my anxiety came back full blast. I'd never see Henry again and I would have to return to my own life, a life that involved filming a movie with an abusive director.

An ice cold hand squeezed my heart at the thought of going back to Vince. I didn't want to go back to working for him. I wanted to quit. I wanted to hide in the Netherlands forever. I wanted to go home. I wanted my parents. I wanted Hanna.

I wanted Henry.

I groaned and got up from the bed again, pacing around my room. It was all I could do not to rip my hair out. Needing something to do, I walked to my bathroom to take my makeup off, but my reflection made me halt. A scared girl dressed like a badass stared back at me. The red lipstick, wavy hair and sheer blouse with the sexy lacy bra underneath made me look fierce, but the look in my eyes told an entirely different story. I felt like a fraud in my own skin.

God, I needed a drink.

I promptly turned back around and opened the connecting door between my room and Henry's. "Let's get drunk."

Henry was sitting on the edge of his bed, his phone in his hand. He looked up at me in surprise, his eyes wide in the most adorable way ever. "Let's... get... drunk?" he asked, as if confused by the statement's meaning.

"Yes. Let's get drunk. Let's celebrate finishing this tour. I need to get my mind off... off everything, really," I said, refusing to admit that I was scared of what the future held for me. "I kind of just want to get obliviously and blissfully drunk with you and forget the world at least for one night."

His brow furrowed in concern. "This is really unlike you, Juliette. Do you want to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "That's the whole point of getting drunk. I don't want to talk, I want to forget. So, do you want to get drunk with me or not?"

Henry clearly wasn't satisfied with that answer and wanted to ask more, but eventually decided against it. He shook it off and smiled. "Sure. I never say no to alcohol. You can start in on the mini bar, and I'll order more up to the room, because I'm guessing just that won't be enough for what you have in mind."

I eyed the mini bar, seeing only a small bottle of vodka and an even smaller bottle of whiskey. "No. It definitely isn't." Nevertheless, I grabbed the bottle of vodka, uncapped it, and took a sip. Well, okay, it was much more than a sip. I winced as the clear liquid burned my throat on its way down. It also didn't taste that good, but it was too late now. I'd already made up my mind.

"Whoa, easy there, eager beaver," Henry said, his eyes wide. "Obliviously and blissfully drunk does not mean alcohol poisoning, okay?"

I nodded, deciding he was right, and took a much smaller sip after that.

About an hour later, I'd almost reached that obliviously and blissfully drunk state I was so desperately craving. I'd grabbed my laptop from my room and turned on my music. It was on pretty loud, but we hadn't had any noise complaints so far, so the walls were probably soundproofed, or the room next to Henry's was vacant. I didn't really care either way and tried to lose myself in the music and the alcohol.

I laughed as I grabbed Henry's hands and we spun around in a circle as a bass-heavy song played on my laptop. "Now, isn't this much better?"

Henry smiled, clearly intoxicated himself. He hadn't downed his drinks as fast as I had, but he'd still consumed quite a few of them. "Much. I like seeing you happy." He frowned. "I don't like seeing you not happy."

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. Because lately, most of my unhappiness was caused by him.

He nodded, resting his hands on my hips and pulling me closer. "Really. I care about you, Juliette Morrison."

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and tangling my fingers in the curls at the back of his head. "I care about you too, Henry Cavill."

He smiled back at me, and its brilliance nearly blinded me. He was so beautiful. He cared about me. It was like my heart was soaring into the sky, and I forgot every negative emotion I'd felt when it came to him. Stupidly, in my highly intoxicated state, I even forgot that he was with Alyssa. I guess that was my first mistake. My next mistake was pulling him even closer, our hips grinding together as we danced. The next mistake made wasn't mine, but Henry's.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice hardly audible over the music. I probably wouldn't even have heard it if I hadn't been so close to him. "You're so beautiful it actually hurts me sometimes."

I stared into his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes with that brown fleck that I loved so incredibly much. "Yeah?" I asked, my voice cracking.

Henry nodded and rested his forehead against mine. He had to bend over quite a bit now that I was barefoot. "Yeah. And this outfit..." He played with the hem of my shirt and shook his head. "You're so beautiful."

I couldn't look away from those goddamn eyes. They were hypnotizing, and matched with his words and the alcohol buzzing through my veins, they basically made me a goner. I still had a very small sliver of common sense left, though. "Henry..." I protested, wanting to tell him to stop saying stuff like that to me. Because if he didn't stop, I didn't know what I would do.

But I never got the chance to say what I wanted to say. Henry shook his head and gently pressed a finger to my lips. "No, Juliette. I am so incredibly tired of this. I'm so tired of holding back."

And he pulled his finger away, only to replace it with his lips. And just like that, all my common sense was gone. There was only Henry and the feeling of him pressed against me.

I was on fire everywhere he touched me. I ached to be touched even more, to be kissed even harder. I kissed him back almost feverishly, all of my pent up frustration pouring out of me. We were a clash of lips, tongues and teeth, mixed with an almost animalistic need.

His hands on my hips, he pushed me back until I hit a wall. He had me trapped there, but I couldn't care less. He could lock me up in a tower like Rapunzel if it meant he'd keep kissing me this way. We'd kissed so often as Amelia and Noah on the set of If You Love Someone that I was sure I knew his kisses inside and out, but I was mistaken. Kissing Henry was entirely different when we were ourselves and completely alone. There was no crew around us, watching our every move, and no Ryan to give us any directions. There was only us and our need for each other. And, oh God, he was such a great kisser. I could kiss him forever and never get sick of it.

His hands slowly moved upward, pushing the fabric of my shirt up until his hands were splayed out on my waist. They were warm and softer than expected, even as his fingers dug into my skin, pulling my hips even closer to his. My own hands traveled to his face, relishing in the contrast of his soft skin and rough scruff. I scraped my nails over the stubble covering his jaw, and he released a soft moan. The sound made me weak in the knees, and if Henry hadn't been pressing me so closely to the wall, they probably would've buckled. The deep sound was so goddamn sexy, and I was determined to hear it again. Keeping one hand on my waist, his other moved up to my face, cupping my cheek before slowly trailing down to my throat, where he skillfully undid the top few buttons of my shirt.

Henry pulled away from my lips and just stared at me for a while. "You drive me crazy," he mumbled. His eyes were dark and his accent seemed thicker than usual, which I was not complaining about in the least. "You've been driving me crazy for so goddamn long."

"Yeah?" I breathed. It was all I could manage.

Henry just nodded before he dipped his head down and started kissing my neck. I moaned as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot, and I threw my head back to grant him more access. As he sucked on my skin, most likely creating a hickey, he continued to unbutton the rest of my shirt. When the last button popped, he slid the fabric off my shoulders, letting it flutter to the ground.

Deciding that was highly unfair, I pushed up his sweater and he helped me take it off. I threw the garment away and it landed on my laptop, making it fall shut, abruptly cutting off the music. It wasn't like I cared. I hadn't taken notice of the music anymore since the moment he'd started kissing me. My hands didn't know what part of his newly bared skin to touch first. His arms, his shoulders, his chest, his abs... There was so much soft skin, so much hard muscle, all for me to explore. He was perfect, as if his body was sculpted by the gods themselves.

Pretty soon, both our pants followed, landing in a messy heap on the floor. Henry lifted me up with remarkable ease and I wrapped my legs around him so I wouldn't fall as he carried me over to his bed. He gently lay me down on my back and hovered over me.

"So beautiful," he murmured as he trailed a hand from my throat all the way down to my thigh. I ignited everywhere he touched me, but the real heat came from his mouth as he pressed soft kisses to my jaw, slowly trailing down to my throat, my chest, and finally my breasts. "This bra has been driving me fucking crazy from the moment I first saw it," he grumbled.

I couldn't help but smile. "Want me to keep it on, then?"

"Hell no," he growled. He slid a hand under my back and deftly undid the hook before tearing the bra away from my body and throwing it across the room. He smirked at the sight before him, as if he was definitely liking what he saw. And for once in my life, even as I lay half naked underneath him, I actually felt beautiful.

He cupped one breast in his hand as his mouth closed over the nipple on the other one. The sensation felt so good that I actually saw stars dance in front of my eyes, and I moaned, gripping at the curls on top of Henry's head. I felt him smile, turning me on even more. Once he felt he'd given my left nipple enough attention, he moved to the other one, distracting me so much that I didn't realize where his hand was going until it was too late.

I gasped as his hand dipped under my underwear and his middle finger slipped into me. The feeling of his hand down there and his mouth on my nipple almost proved too much and I arched my back, only giving him even more access to my core. He was talented with his mouth, but almost even more so with his hand. He had me shaking and quivering within minutes.

He tugged the black hipster down to my knees, and I kicked them off the rest of the way before ridding him of his boxers. I wrapped my hand around him, discovering he was already hard and bigger than I'd expected.

"I want you, Juliette," Henry whispered breathily. "I want you so much."

"I'm all yours," I whispered back, pressing a long, sensual kiss to the base of his throat.

He rolled over, obviously looking for something, and when he came back, he was holding a condom in his hand. My heart beat wildly in my throat at the realization that we were really doing this.

As if there was any other possibility. As if there was any other outcome from the moment he'd started kissing me.

When he finally slid into me, it was like the last puzzle piece falling into place. We fit perfectly together. I'd wanted this for so long, and apparently he had too. How could this moment be anything other than perfect? As he slowly moved in and out of me, we never broke eye contact. I couldn't look away from him. He was so incredibly perfect that it nearly ached, and the only thing that would soothe the pain would be to be even closer to him. He kept whispering my name as if he was in awe of me, and my intense love for him solidified. The bond that had started growing between us from the moment we'd first met blossomed even more now. It sounded cliché, but in this moment, I really did feel like we were meant for each other.

This moment was perfect.

We were perfect.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Tuesday, November 29, 2019.

When I woke up the next morning, everything felt perfect. I was the happiest I'd been in a very, very long time. I was naked in the arms of the man I loved, just like I was supposed to be. He was warm and soft and his arms were wrapped loosely around me as he slept. My head was resting on his chest and I could hear his slow, even heartbeat. It was like I was in a cocoon of happiness.

But that cocoon was more like a fragile bubble, and it burst too soon.

As soon as I realized what I'd done last night, my eyes flew open in alarm. I was naked in bed with Henry. I'd slept with Henry last night. I'd helped Henry cheat on his girlfriend. This was wrong on so many accounts, and I didn't know what to do. One things was for sure, though: I couldn't stay in his arms and pretend to be asleep, hoping that would magically fix everything. Things like this couldn't be fixed.

Carefully, praying to my last remaining lucky stars that I wouldn't wake him, I slipped out of his arms and out of his bed. Gathering my clothes took a lot longer than I would've liked because they were strewn all over the room, but I managed to do it quietly. Taking my laptop, I escaped into my own room. Once I was there, I was able to breathe a little easier, but not much. I packed all my stuff in a hurry, but halted when I reached the bathroom and saw my reflection in the mirror on the wall.

I had way obvious sex hair. Actually, I had way obvious sex everything. My makeup was smeared, but just like Ella had warned me, the red lipstick was still perfectly in place. To my horror, there was a hickey where my neck met my shoulder. I hurriedly brushed my hair and put it up in a careless bun before attempting to remove my makeup. Everything else came off easily, but the lipstick remained obstinate.

I sighed, angrily throwing the wipes into the small trash can beside the toilet. Makeup should be the last thing on my mind right now.

Gathering the rest of my stuff, I stashed it all away in my suitcase. Doing one last sweep of the room to make sure I had everything, I left my hotel room. I checked out at the reception desk in the lobby, and once everything was taken care of, I hurried out of the hotel, flagging a taxi to take me to the airport...

...and left Henry's life forever.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well then.......

The song at the beginning of the chapter is Take Me On The Floor by The Veronicas.

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