“I'm a mess right now, inside out. Searching for a sweet surrender, but this is not the end.” –Ed Sheeran, I’m a Mess

Zoey Willow Hunter

Where in the world was I?

A sharp pain was killing my brain, my whole body felt wrecked. I slowly opened my eyes and groaned at the sight of sunlight. I looked around and recognized the tent. The group was scattered yet squished together in such weird ways.

Lucy was sleeping with her foot in Aaron’s face. He had his head turned away from her socks and his mouth was agape even through the sleep. Diana was lying on her stomach, on Joel. Fred’s legs were across Amir’s stomach and the poor guy was twitching every time Fred moved. Amir was probably the only one who didn’t drunk among us, because of his religion and morals. James’ face was dangerously close to mine. His snores made me jump.

Carefully, I pushed his face away from mine. I barely managed to stand up and walk past my friends. I felt dizzy and exhausted. Feeling bile rise up my throat, I rushed out of the tent and puked my guts out in a plastic bag with empty alcohol bottles.

“Oh God, what have I done?” I whispered, spitting the rest of the puke of my mouth.

Getting drunk was never something I would’ve done. Most of the time, Amir and I were sober buddies at occasions like this. What happened last night? I racked my mind for an answer.

Someone poked my shoulder and gave me a water bottle. I didn’t even bother identifying them, I just rinsed the horrible taste of my mouth. Looking up, a thank you was on the tip of my tongue.

Xandra.

Vague memories came back to me; I remembered what Oliver told me. She, one of my closest friends, was officially his girlfriend.

Her blue eyes stared at me with worry and pity. “You okay, Zoey?”

“I guess, but could you check if there’s anything on my back?” I said, pointing to my back. She looked but I didn’t give her a chance to answer. “Maybe there’s blood from a knife there, do you see it?”

“Zoey, I—” Her blonde hair was pulled up into a bun on her head. She looked gorgeous most of the time, but to my eyes, right now, she had never looked uglier.

I shook my head, “Save it.” 

“He asked me! It’s not like I threw myself at him,” she shouted. I put my hand on her mouth.

“Please, please shut up.” Her eyes widened. “I’m saying this because I feel like World War 3 is going on in my head and because your excuses are pathetic.”

Oliver appeared out of nowhere, I immediately took my hand away from her. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. She smiled at him but the momentary happiness faded at the sight of me with teary eyes. Another knife stabbed me this time, but in the heart.

“I got to get home.”

He looked at me with confusion, “Don’t you want to witness the hangovers?”

“Nah, I’m good. Plus, I’m pretty hung over myself, so yeah.”

“Want me to drive you?” He asked, giving me a small smile.

“I got her,” said a voice I’d only heard so often during the last week. I turned and stared at Nico, who looked like he had been awake for a few hours.

Oliver raised an eyebrow and his gaze hardened at the sight of Nico. “I think she’ll be better with me, man.”

“Nah, man, I said I’ve got her,” said Nico, giving him a big bitter smile. He looked down at me and I had to weigh my options fast.

Going with my crush that crushed my heart?

Or, going with an annoying boy I barely knew?

“I’ll be fine,” I said to Oliver. “Really.”

Nico tugged on my sweater and led me to the place where several cars were parked. We walked in silence and I felt a few tears fall. Oliver was with Xandra, not me. He liked her, not me. He probably voluntarily kissed her, but not me.

“You alright?” asked Nico, unlocking a red car that I figured was his dad’s.

I shrugged, “Why do you care?”

He didn’t answer but simply went in his car and opened the door for me from the inside. He started to drive. By the way he was clenching the wheel; I figured he was mad at something. Holding my hand over my face, I tried to block the sunlight which did nothing to improve the killer buzzing in my head.

“Do you have any aspirins, by any chance?”  

He nodded, opened the arm rest and threw me a bottle of aspirins. I took two and shoved them in my mouth. Realizing the water bottle was in my hand, I swallowed the pills with water.

The ride was very short and silent. It wasn’t a comfortable kind of silence either, it was the kind of calm there was before a storm. This worried me, but I tried not to think too much. I took an elastic from my  pocket and tied my hair up in what must’ve been the messiest bun in the world.

"Hunter?"

I noticed that for the first time all week, he didn't call me Zorro.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember anything that happened last night?" He said hesitantly looking at me for  a split second.

I racked my mind for any memories. "Nope, nada."

He started to mumble under his breath in several languages. I caught "bloody hell", "fucking shit" and "puta madre."

"Why? Is there anything I should know?"

He shook his head, "Forget it."

Huh.

“Why?” I said, turning to look at him. He glanced at me.

“Why what?”

I pointed to myself, “Why are you driving me home?”

At that precise moment, he stopped in front of my house. “Get out,” he said.

“Answer me, Forrest.”

“I said: Get out, Hunter.”

I glared at him but he avoided my gaze. “Fine, be like that.” I got out of the car and purposefully slammed the car door. He flinched.

“You can thank me tonight!” He shouted just as I knocked on the door.

Tonight?

Just as I opened my mouth to ask him what the hell that meant, he drove off.

Mom, wearing an apron, opened the door, her eyes taking my appearance in. “Did you drink?”

“No,” was my answer.

“So, if I shout LIKE THIS, your brain doesn’t hurt?” I grimaced and put a hand on my head. That was enough of an answer for her. She opened the door wider for me and let me in.

I headed for the stairs but she blocked my way. “What happened last night?”

“I got drunk, happy?”

She shook her head, “You never drink. What happened?”

I thought back to seeing Oliver wrap his arm around Xandra’s small waist and kissing her cheek. I thought back to his expression when he told me that he felt nothing for me. The kiss that I had so often thought about meant nothing to him. The way he told me he liked me with a silly goofy smile but it was nothing but a drunken lie to him. Xandra, one of my closest friends, started going out with a guy I’d been crushing on for over three years.

“Nothing happened, Mom.”

All I wanted to do was to tell her everything and cry. Her eyes still had suspicion in them, but she nodded and walked back to the kitchen to make breakfast.

“Zoey?”

“Yeah?”

“The Forrests are having dinner with us tonight, so look nice.”

I looked at her like she was an alien. “What?”

“You deliver mail with Nico now, I want to know him. Plus, James and Nico are new here, so a nice dinner will make them feel welcomed here.”

So, that was what Nico meant. I groaned, “But Moooooom! Nico and I don’t get along well.”

“I don’t care.” By the tone of her voice, this was the end of discussion.

My mom was a very nice woman most of the time, but she was known for being firm. If she wanted something to be done, it better be done or else she will make you feel bad about it for the rest of your life.

“Fine,” I sighed, going up to my room.

Entering my room brought me so much comfort. I knew that as long as I was in there, I was safe. It was simple, but prettily messy. I remembered all the sleepovers I had in here. The amount of junk food that had been eaten on the queen-sized bed was gigantic. The amount of secrets and jokes hidden between these walls was enough to make it feel like home.

I hopped in the shower and washed all the alcohol and fatigue out of my system. Quickly getting changed into shorts and an over sized Beatles shirt, I checked my phone for any messages. There were ten from Lucy, two apologies from Xandra, a worried one from Diana and three ones from Joel, asking how I was and if I needed anything I could call him.

Lucythebestie: Where are you?????

Lucythebestie: We need to talk asap

Lucythebestie: Wtf oliver& xandra?! imma have a talk with that bitch

Lucythebestie: u ok?

Lucythebestie: amir told me wht he saw, wtf zoey? U and nico?

Nico and I?

I immediately called her, she picked up on the fourth ring, groaning.

“Zoey Willow Hunter! Where are you?” She shouted, making me grimace at the tone of her voice.

“Home? Didn’t Oliver tell you?”

“Yeah but still. And what the hell you and Nico?” She said, this time in a calmer tone.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“Amir told me he saw you kiss him.”

I held a hand on my mouth. “I did WHAT?!”

“You were drunk and Amir saw you walking up to Nico and you fell in his arms, then you kissed him and fainted.”

“Oh my God.”

I kissed the mail boy without even knowing it or having any memory of it.

-

HEHHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEH I AM SO DEVILISH

I’m so happy to be back to writing this and I have so much planned for this story!

Please, for Nico’s sake, comment and vote!