"If I listen to your lies, would you say, I'm a man without conviction. I'm a man who doesn't know how to sell a contradiction. You come and go, you come and go," Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

"Isn't he the cutest?"

Standing before me was the Chief of Police, decked out in a form-fitting uniform, a bit similar to the one he wore when he first pulled me over. He looked as effortlessly attractive as the media painted him out to be, and I hated that my heart jumped at the full sight of him. He was great on television but up close, he was something majestic. I wanted to retort back and tell him how much of a motherfuckin' jackass he was and tell him that he was shit for thinking the world revolved around him just because he was rich and famous.

Instead, I looked down at the ground, the traitorous blush of my cheeks burning like hell. He was extremely intimidating, his glare pinning me to the root of the area that I was standing in, daring me to speak. Jude pranced into the room with a smile, seemingly oblivious to the tension that increased tenfold. "No," Nishan grunted out as he wiped down the front of his uniform with his hand, his eyes never leaving me. "He's not," I shouldn't have felt so offended, considering that I heard those words for a long time, but it hurt.

"Aw, don't lie to him like that!" Jude groaned, coming to stand next to me. "Hey," He poked me with a smile and I hesitantly looked up at him. "What's your name?" He asked me and I went to speak, but a dark voice cut me off. "His name is Ezra Moore," Nishan recounted, cracking his smooth yet calloused knuckles, his eyes glaring daggers into my soul as he took in my apron wrapped around my waist. He spat my name so harshly, almost as if he was spitting acid on the ground. I flinched, totally confused. His personality had done a complete 180 because this was nowhere near the person that I saw on my way here that day. "What? How do you know that, bro?" Jude put a hand on his hips, staring back at Nishan, who just kept his fierce bore on little ole me. I felt like the room was gradually getting smaller and smaller, tightening up around the three of us. I was sure Jude wanted to know why Nishan looked as if he wanted to pound me into the ground.

"I had to pull the little fag over when he was speeding the otha' day," He folded his arms, his waves flowing and sitting perfectly on his neck. Really, there was no flaw about him except his cruel words. I held myself as I flinched sharply at the cruel word that came out his mouth, my teeth latching onto my lip to stop myself from tearing up. He really was no different from those high school bullies.

"Don't you use that word, Nishan!" Jude snapped, shaking his head as he clenched his teeth, standing close to me as if he was trying to protect me. "You know I don't like it." He grumbled and Nishan rolled his eyes, obviously not caring about his friend's feelings.

"Why? Just calling him like I see him."

There was a spark of anger that lit up in Jude's eyes. It was brief but it was strong. He narrowed his eyes with irritation and I questioned why he seemed so against that word when he was the best friend of the biggest LGBT opposer. He sighed, turning to me with a forced smile. "Don't mind him, cutie," Nishan snorted at the comment and I frowned. I did a lot of that lately. "He's just a man who's got a stick up his ass. Don't worry, I don't care what you are as long as you'll be my friend," Jude grinned, his eyes twinkling and I let out a breath of relief. I had no choice but to be his friend, considering he was the second one to hear me sing.

"S-sure," I stuttered, feeling a bit accepted. I wasn't going to confirm nor deny whether or not I was gay, because it would open a can of worms that I wasn't ready for. If Nishan's attitude was like this, who was to say that the rest of them wouldn't be? Some people had no idea how much their words hurt and it was sad. It was sad because I felt that prickling growth of rage in the pit of my stomach, but I didn't act on it.

He was so different than the time he pulled me over. He was so sweet, so soft and gentle, smiling with ease as he talked freely with me. But now that he had seen me in the setting of his house, wearing the clothes that I wore, he completely changed. Was it because he could sense the gayness within me?

I'd like to say that I was a strong man after everything that had happened to me, but there were a lot of days where I knew that I was broken beyond repair and I could feel the hurt in the core of my very being. Some days, I could barely feel it. It was dull and stagnant, allowing me a semblance of peace. But other days, such as today, when it was triggered by something or someone, that feeling of doubt crept in.

"What?" Nishan mocked. "Cat got your tongue?" He raised a brow and I tried to make myself smaller. "Oh, son," A voice saved me as we turned to the door, Eve peeking into the room to see us all gathered. "I see you've met our new maid," She entered in a nice jumpsuit paired with heels, a smile on her face. "Ezra, this is my son, Nis— "

The man in question put a hand up, his eyes still not leaving me. I kept darting between him and Eve, internally sweating. "Believe me," He crinkled his nose, a twisted smile forming on his lips as Eve peered at him in confusion. "We've met," He said in such a straight tone. "Oh? You have?" Eve was oblivious to the strain in the atmosphere as she continued to talk out of her ass. "Well, good. I didn't think you guys would ever meet," Eve looked at me with a knowing look in her eye and I looked away. "But since introductions are out of the way," She stopped herself short, looking at the man next to me.

"Oh, Jude!" Eve blinked, looking at the broken pieces of my phone in his hand. "What happened to that? Do I need to call my tech guy out so he can come fix it?" I rolled my eyes, sighing internally. Of course, she had someone on call whenever she needed it. Rich people had their perks, I guess. "You see," Jude rubbed the back of his neck, looking at me with a sad smile. You know what you did. "It isn't my phone," He nodded towards me and all heads turned to look at me. "It's his. I kinda scared him when I went to go get Nishan's snacks and the rest was history," I frowned and Nishan rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"And let me guess, you want me to pay for your mistakes," He scowled, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket. "If you would be so kind," Jude batted his eyelashes and Nishan snorted, an antagonizing sneer on his lips. "You shouldn't have been holding your phone, Ezra," he called my name in that voice of his, underlined with so much venom. I bit my lip in order to hold back the many comments I wanted to lash out at him. His mother was here and she was the one in charge of my paycheck.

Nishan sighed.

"Here, Jude," He handed him the keys. "Don't know what kind of wack ass phone that is," He pointed to my broken iPhone 6S. "Give him one of the XRs in storage." Jude nodded gleefully, grabbing the keys and running to the corner of the room, where there was a large storage box. He reached inside for something and once he retrieved it, he locked the box back up.

Just then, a knock on the door resounded throughout the large study room, granting us a turn of our heads. "It's just me, guys," Natalie opened the door and stepped in all of her glory, smiling brightly at me. "Ezra!" She beamed before rushing over to me. "It's so good to see you!" She hugged me tightly, much to my shock and bewilderment, greeting me with such happiness. How the fuck was someone so happy all the time? Why was she getting close to me? Didn't her parents warn her not to get close to the help?

Eve narrowed her eyes in my direction and I cleared my throat, slightly stepping away. I had no need to be here, but I was. Thanks, Jude.

"For our anniversary gathering this coming Friday, I would like for you all to be there," I furrowed my brows in confusion, looking at the ground. That should already be a given, considering that it's their parents. "Ezra," Eve turned to me and I jolted at the fear of being called out. "Yes?" I muttered meekly as they all looked at me, so many different emotions stirring up the room. "I'd like for you to work that night as well, if you can," Eve said with a look in her eyes and I bit my lip, knowing that I had nothing else to do that night. It was odd because she told me that I would only be working in the house and not interacting with anyone else.

Why would she throw me to the wolves like this?

"I—" I fumbled with my fingers, a flush kissing my cheeks. "Yes, I can," I replied in a small voice,  a satisfied smile coming to the lips of Eve Lawrence. Nishan snorted, rolling his eyes. "Mother, why did you hire this guy?" He pointed at me. "He can't even hold a conversation for more than three seconds," He put his hands in his pocket, his broad stature engulfing me from afar. I pressed my lips together, eyes filling with fury. How dare this bastard? Just because he was seven years older did not give him the right to talk shit about me to my face. I pushed my glasses up, nose scrunched up in distaste.

He was one of those people that I wanted to punch.

My face started to twitch as my fingers craved for the feeling of my asthma pump. That was how I knew an attack was going to happen, either now or sometime later. Being in the room with this dickhead made me want to bash my head in. All of his derogatory comments came to my mind and it burned at my heart. This motherfucker had the nerve.

Jude came back with a white box, handing it to me. I stared at the sheer beauty of the blue phone on the cover of the box, wondering if I had something to pay for this. "Um," I spoke quietly, looking up at Nishan from my bowed head. "I-is there a fee for this?" I stammered, fidgeting as the heir of the Lawrence rolled his eyes once more, dismissing me. "No." That was all he said, but I got the feeling he wanted to say more.

His eyes said it all. Natalie all but threw an arm over my shoulder, pulling me in close. I had never been this close to anyone other than Celina. It made me feel just a bit uncomfortable because I didn't know these people all that well.

I just knew what they wanted me to know.

"Now that everything is done and prepared for," Eve clapped her hands in sheer excitement, a mood that was unusual for her cunningness. "I shall leave you to go and get the necessary attire for the event," she shot Nishan a sharp glare, knowing full well that he would rather show up in a pair of sweatpants. "Yes, mother. As you wish," You could hear the bite in his tone as he addressed his mother and she narrowed her eyes, possibly wanting to throttle him but unable to due to the number of people in the room.

"Let us go, Natalie. Jude," I blinked, questioning why she didn't address me. "It is clear that Nishan doesn't want to be bothered with us," She smiled sweetly but I could sense something sinister lurking beneath the surface. Why didn't she address me too? Of all people, I would that I had no business conversing with someone who hated everything about me. "Once you're finished up here, Ezra," Eve fixated me with a firm look. "You may go home." She bid me farewell with a smile and I would've felt happy had I not have got the feeling that she was giving off a lot less than what was going on.

Once the door closed and it was just the man of the hour and myself, I gulped audibly, fiddling with my fingers as I crossed my legs, trying to dispel the awkwardness. I heard shuffling and I looked up to see Nishan narrowing his mismatched eyes, an unknown emotion trailing in them. "Listen, Mr. Moore," He spat mockingly in a condescending tone, making sure that there was adequate distance between us. "Just because I caught you earlier does not mean you can get that close to me. Make sure you do well to stay away from me," Nishan grimaced as he sneered at me, his eyes colored with repulsion. "I don't want people thinking I'm gay because of you."

Celina folded her arms, looking deeply into my eyes. "Honey, I can only tell you so much," She said with conviction in her voice. "What you do with my words is entirely up to you. You can choose to listen to them and make a way for yourself," She shrugged. "Or you can ignore them and continue to be scared. Being scared gets you nowhere. The world doesn't wait for you to heal. The world doesn't hold back on bigoted bastards because you're hurt and afraid." I looked down, understanding that she was right.

"It's going to take time and it's going to hurt, but you gotta move past those demons haunting your brain. You gotta fight them, Ezra," She gripped my shoulder. "Only you have the right to distinguish your worth. No one can tell you how worthy you are because they aren't you." I nodded vehemently, comprehending the complexity of the situation. It was all up to me.

"L-listen to me, asshole," I was taken aback by all of the anger in my voice as my face burned in embarrassment. His voice was so disgusting and his words burned with a vengeance, but I had to let him know. "I don't care what you think of me. I'm not here to work for you. I'm here to work for your parents. If you don't like that, that's on you, but don't think that you can talk to me any kind of way b-because you feel you can." With a quickened breath, I swallowed, hoping that the moisture would cure my dry mouth. I felt jittery and shaky. Oh god, I just yelled at a cop. I was going to jail.

"Is that so?"

There was a hint of amusement in his tone as I looked up wide-eyed, seeing him standing there with his arms crossed and brow raised. There was a small allusion of a smirk creeping up his lips. "Y-yes," I stuttered, standing my ground as my 5'8 became significantly useless to his 6'4. "Hm," Nishan hummed.

"Then get out of my sight."

I frowned, trying to figure out why he felt the need to treat me like utter country garbage. It was clear that I had done more than enough, so instead of trying to get someone who despised gays to like me, I was just going to steer clear of him. "Thank you for the phone," I pathetically mumbled, clutching my old one as I walked to the door, a bit dejected. Nishan said absolutely nothing, but I could feel his radiating gape burning into my spine.

Before I closed the door on me, I peeked back in, remembering that he had not eaten anything because Jude forgot his snacks. Food was a must. The mother hen in me could not stop herself from making her entrance, despite knowing full well who she was talking to. "M-make sure you eat something!" I called out and Nishan grunted. "It's not good to go without eating," I pouted and then I shut the door, running away as quickly as possible. I didn't want him to kill me.

"This day fucking kills," I muttered to myself as I mentally clocked out, ready to leave the whole establishment behind. 

I had called Travis on my way home to let him know that I was going to be home shortly. It turned out that the bastard let himself inside my home, where I paid the bills. It only took me about 10 minutes to get home and I was stewing, trying to understand who Nishan thought he was. Just because he was the COP and his status rendered him untouchable, did not mean that he had the single right to demean me.

God damn homophobic prick.

I drudged myself up to my apartment when I arrived on the scene, ready to pass out. "I'm going to the bathroom, Ez," Travis took off his shirt, throwing it at me as I positioned myself on my plush bed, Jigglypuff joining me. "Whatever," I waved a hand at him, trying to figure out how to use this phone. It wasn't that much different from my old one, but I had a lot to play around with, which was going to be interesting. How should I test this one out?

"Hey Siri, give me some information on Nishan Lawrence," I spoke into the new phone, watching the A.I do her little thing as I cuddled up to my tabby cat, her purrs giving me so much life. My phone beeped once again as Siri began to relay her findings.

Okay, Ezra. Pulling up information now. According to Wikipedia, Nishan Remington Lawrence is an American model born on June 19th, 1991 in San Antonio, Texas into the affluent family of Eve and Leon Lawrence. He has a younger sister named Natalie Lawrence. He is of Italian and Armenian descent, his name meaning 'sign'.  He is currently the Chief of Police of the San Antonio metropolitan police department and also a big supporter of the anti-LGBT.

At least she was telling the truth. I had a lot to think about as I processed that information. Why was he my first thought? As fucking cruel and heartless as he was, he was the first thing that popped up in my mind, and I wanted to know why. I had to get out of whatever haze that was and keep my head on straight.

He was the wrong person and I was going to have to stay away from him.

Being drawn in would only destroy me.