"If I told you this was only gonna hurt, if I warned you that the fire's gonna burn, would you walk in? Would you let me do it first? Do it all in the name of love. Would you let me lead you even when you're blind?" In the Name of Love, Martin Garrix ft. Bebe Rexha

"It seems like I'll have full confidence with you, Mr. Ezra Moore."

I shuffled nervously, fiddling with my fingers as my button-up suit somehow tightened around my collar, nervous sweat staying stagnant in my body as I sat in the chair across from San Antonio's most famous Lucia Bianchi. She sat calm and poise with her brown hair high up in a bun as she crossed her suit-clad legs, fixating her blue eyes on me. I felt so honored to be here and it was great enough that I had been vouched enough for that she just wanted to go ahead and get the process started. 

"Yes, you will," I had to keep myself from stuttering and making a fool of myself. She seemed genuinely pleased with my attitude as she continued to talk. "As you know, I am retiring in 2019 and I would like to leave my company in good hands," She clapped her hands together, putting a little smile on her lips. I couldn't believe that this was happening, that I was literally sitting in the office of the state's most talked-about businesswoman, who everyone wanted to be because she was so successful. I couldn't grasp the fact that I was sitting in front of Lucia Bianchi, a woman I admired for my entire life.

I was so nervous and so jittery. I wondered if she could see the sweat literally dripping out of my pores. "You are so smart and so driven," Lucia flipped through my portfolio that she somehow managed to get her hands on. "You have so much experience and with you becoming the president of the business fraternity at UTSA," I nearly died when she said that. I was officially sworn in and I was going to meet every single member soon and that was extremely terrifying especially for an introvert like me.

"You'll continue to learn and grow and by the time that I am ready to leave, you will have already made the relationships necessary for your role as CEO, and you'll have the expertise and skill that I need you to have," Lucia said straight to the point, no bullshit leaving her mouth. I nodded, knees shaking like I was eighty years old and I lost my cane. "Make sure that you are ready because every single day that you come here to be trained, you will have information drilled into the very nerve of your brain," She stared straight at me. "You will be so tired and you will be so stressed and no, you will not have a back-up option because this is your all or nothing goal, Ezra," She fixed me with a stern look and I gulped, continuing to nod.

"I hire nothing but the best, and that is exactly what you'll be if you are to be my successor." 

I still couldn't believe that this was really happening, that my job was just falling into my lap for me with ease. "While you are shadowing me, I will listen to some of your ideas about your own company and maybe, we can discuss merging those ideas with the way the company functions now." Lucia closed the portfolio, gazing at me and I let out a breath of relief, realizing that this was entirely too good to be true.

Yes, it was absolutely enlightening that my dream job was literally in reach of my hands, but before, I was no doubt turned away and denied requests for internships and to see that someone was willing to take me in despite never having met me or seen me work in action, it was baffling.

"Any questions?" Lucia tilted her head at me, her fair skin glowing from the light of the sun that filled the spacious room as her nails tapped against the mahogany wood of the desk. "Yes," I muttered, nodding uncertainly. This was not the time for me to be acting shy and nervous when I had to show her how it was done, how I was deserving of this role. "Not that I'm not grateful or anything because I am entirely thankful that you have decided to take me on, it's an honor," I breathed heavily, fixing my tie as she waited for me to go in. "It's just a bit odd that you knew about me way beforehand," I carefully chose the phrases and structure of my words so that it didn't come out in a way that wasn't intended.

She waved a hand at me, chuckling as she threw her head back, her bun sloshing along. "No need to be so formal and polite, Ezra," The fifty-something-year-old woman blinked at me, folding her arms together. "It's alright. It is true that I had never heard of you before in my entire life," I unconsciously pouted at the words, continuing to listen to her speak. "However, you were brought to my attention last week at a conference that I had with the mayor," My eyes slowly started to widen.

"It was myself, the mayor, the Chief of Police, the Fire chief, Department of Education and housing and after the meeting was concluded," I slowly started to put it together. "A really good friend of mine, Nishan Lawrence," Ah, there it fucking was. I knew it. I couldn't stop the smile that ate at my lips. "He came up to me and handed me this portfolio that had all of your information in it. Told me that you wanted to be a CEO and that you'd be the perfect fit for my successor. He had nothing but beautiful things to say about you, Mr. Moore," Lucia smirked knowingly and I blushed. "So if you were able to make that mean man say some really sweet thing about you, that's all I need to know."

Just what the fuck did Nishan say to this woman?

I was sure that my cheeks were burning like the Earth was on fire. I could not stop the smile from getting bigger and my heart from fluttering. Knowing that he did this for me was sweet and I couldn't wait to go back and see him and maybe thank him.

Though, he should've done because he ruined my first interview, that idiot.

"I can't wait to start working with you," Lucia stood, smoothing her suit and I followed along, reaching up to shake her hand. "I will see you tomorrow. Make sure to see Evelyn to get you a badge and a certified parking spot," She said before turning, pressing the button on her desk to get access to her PA. I let out a breath of relief as I turned to walk out of the extremely large office, glad that the interview was over.

Because more stuff was going to happen.

I had no idea what Travis wanted to talk to me about. I hadn't given it any thought since I was still mulling over what happened with my parents. I couldn't believe they had the nerve, the sheer audacity to show up where I work and ask something so ludicrous of me. 

It made me wonder how they even knew where I worked, considering only certain people knew. As I stepped off of the elevator, reaching the main lobby, my phone started to buzz in my pocket. I sighed with conviction and pulled it out, seeing that Natalie was calling me. "Hello?" I said into the phone, hearing a turn signal in the background of the call. "Hey, Ezra!" Natalie sounded extremely chipper and I was glad to hear that. "Hey, Natalie, what's up?"

It wasn't odd that she called me because I had all of their numbers for reasons like grocery or dry cleaning or whatever. "Are you still at your interview?" She asked as I waved goodbye to the lobby receptionist, opening the door to step out in the breeze of San Antonio. "Yes," I paused. "But I am leaving now. Why?" 

Natalie clicked her tongue and I raised a brow at nothing in particular. "I am running a little late to a meeting with a client. Do you think that you can take Noelani off of my hands? You know, since she's your child," She thought she was funny with that slick joke and I rolled my eyes. "Sure, you know where I'm at," I replied and she giggled, finding herself amusing. "Good, I'll be there in two minutes."

That was all she said before the call ended and I was left staring at a screen full of my recent calls. I sighed, looking at the time. I only had 15 minutes before I had to go meet Travis, so I was good on time. I walked over to my car that was parallel parked and stood there, loosening my tie. 

I had a lot on my mind. This interview, my confused mentality on the way Nishan was acting towards me and how I was feeling about it, my parents showing up out of nowhere. I was sure that they wouldn't stop until they were back into my life, but it was no use. They lost that respect and trust the very moment they decided to kick me out, so I felt no remorse or pain on that part of the decision. It was bittersweet though, because they were my parents for the first 17 years of my life and all of those memories were still there.

But I had Celina now.

"Ezra!" I heard a voice yell out my name and I turned to see Natalie rushing over to me, heels tapping against the concrete as she held onto the strap of a car seat. "Give me," I grabbed onto the car seat and opening my door, strapping Noelani inside as she grinned happily at me. "Go ahead," I waved Natalie off after she threw me a kiss, hustling back to her car. Someone must've been in a hurry, it seemed.

I sighed and got in my car, making sure that everything was fine before driving off to meet Travis. I felt immense dread when I wondered what it was that he wanted. He never used to sound so serious in a phone conversation and it scared me. I would soon find out because I arrived at the park gazebo, where he wanted to meet me. I parked the car and got out, feeling jittery as I pulled out the wrap carrier, putting Noelani on my chest with ease.

"Hi mama," I booped her nose and she let out a happy noise, filling my heart with butterflies. She was so cute. I walked over to where I saw Travis sitting in the gazebo, a frown on his face as he looked towards the sky, obviously deep in thought about something.

"Travis?" I spoke as I stepped closer to him, watching him turn to me with a look of calmness and a steady gaze as if he was studying me intensely. Right then and there, I knew something was wrong. He didn't say a word as he ran a hand through his hair, sitting on the bed. Without further ado, I took a seat next to him, clutching the baby to me.

"Travis, what's wrong?" I asked after a moment of silence. He clenched his jaw and clicked his teeth, turning to look at me. "Your parents came by campus yesterday, looking for you. Somehow, someone told them to find me and they did," I nodded slowly, understanding how they found out where I lived. Travis didn't know that I didn't want them near me, but that was my own fault. "Ezra, I'm going to ask you this only once," His eyes were pleading but his lips were grim and I could feel the question coming, the anxiety building up from the roots of my stomach.

"Are you gay?"

I could feel the moisture in my mouth drying up, leaving it to feel like sandpaper. I felt so cornered and there was nowhere that I could go, not with him looking at me so intensely like that. I was scared. This was a make it or break kind of moment but I knew that I couldn't deny it any longer. "Yes." 

It felt almost relieving to finally let that one secret that I kept for four years from him go. Now he knew and the ball was in his court. Travis didn't say a word, but he nodded grimly, turning to look back to the ground. "If that is a problem with you," I went to say, my head hurting at the thought of not being friends with him but he shook his head adamantly, saying that wasn't the case.

"That's not it, man," His voice sounded choked as he shook his head in disbelief. "...I just wish that I knew sooner," He mumbled, a depressed air hanging over us. "Why would it matter if you knew earlier?" I questioned and he chuckled humorlessly, tilting his head at me. "You really are a dense little shit, Ezra Moore," He lamented, the pupils in his eyes much larger than ever. There was a dopey grin on his lips as he took a deep breath. 

I didn't know what to make of that if he wasn't going to tell me. "That was all I wanted to know. It's funny because I never would've thought as much as I hoped," He whispered and something in me told me what I didn't want to know. I had the slightest feeling that I knew what he was hinting at but for the sake of our friendship, I said nothing because there was no need to.

What could I say?

Just then at that second, my phone vibrated in my hands and I looked down and unlocked it, reading the text.

Nisasshole: can you meet me here?

There was a location pinned and I clicked on it, wondering what he wanted me to meet him. I sighed and looked back to Travis, seeing him looking at the phone with a look of sadness and resignation. "Go ahead and go see him, Ez," He sounded tired and I felt so bad, but I got the feeling that he wanted to be alone. "This bad boy can handle himself," He reached over and kissed my cheek, ruffling my hair as I groaned. I didn't know why, but as I stood, the atmosphere just felt so different.

"I'll call you later," He didn't look up nor did he watch me leave and I had no idea how I was leaving things. I wanted to say something but there wasn't a thing I could say, so I just put Noelani back in her seat and drove off, giving Travis one last glance. 

I felt so conflicted. I didn't know what to do, but I just drove to the address that Nishan sent me, arriving at Stone Gate cemetery. I gulped as I got out, putting Noelani back in the sling. I entered through the gates and I could see a familiar silhouette standing over a tombstone with a bouquet of dahlias in hand. I slowly slid next to his figure, watching as he didn't even flinch but he kept his gaze on the grave in front of him.

"That bastard was finally arrested."

I stared at the stone, seeing that it was of his late sister. His voice was calm and controlled, but it wouldn't be for too long. "Just sad that it took this many years," Her name was Naomi Eliza Lawrence. She would've been twenty-nine if she was still alive. "He got time for life. He'll never see the outdoors ever again," He muttered venomously, his voice cracking. I could tell that he was reaching his breaking point. "I'm so sorry, Naomi," There it was. I looked up at him, seeing that green eye drip with a tremendous amount of tears as his lips contorted into a sob that he was holding back.

I could feel his grief and I stepped over, unconsciously lacing my fingers together with his, squeezing just tightly enough so that he knew that I was here. This was completely unusual, but neither of us cared. He squeezed his grip on me, a teardrop falling in between the creases of our meshed hands. I could tell that he wanted to say more, but he just couldn't. I could tell that he felt extremely guilty, the aura pouring off of him, but there was nothing that I could say that would diminish that, so we just fell quiet, staring at the grave as the fog swirled around us.

"You know," I whispered, cracking the silence as I rubbed the baby's back, still holding his hand. "Why don't you give Noelani Naomi's middle name?" I said and Nishan turned to me, eyes widened and red. "You know, Noelani Eliza Lawrence? So it seems like Naomi will always be with us." I offered and that got a small smile out of him as he nodded, on board. He used his free hand to push his brown waves back, taking a shuddering breath before turning to me. 

"Sing for me," He demanded. I blinked, immediately shaking my head. "Are you crazy!? I don't sing in front of anyone." I sputtered, nearly on the verge of a heart attack. Of all people, I definitely didn't want him to hear me sing. He just raised a brow, completely unconvinced as he looked down at me. "So you don't like to sing?" That was a challenge and I couldn't help but rise for the bait, narrowing my eyes in offense.

"I do but—" He rolled his eyes, chuckling softly. "Okay, Maria von Trapp, sing for me." I stared at him, ignoring his insult, watching the flicker of those beautiful eyes as my own face reflected in those orbs. He really was deadly serious, it seemed, and there was no way that I could escape, not that I wanted to.

"Fine..." I blushed, looking away from him as he grinned to himself. I was thinking of a song that could really depict how he felt so that he didn't have to keep all of his emotions in because I was here. "I fought for you the hardest," I sang lowly, feeling him rubbing the back of my hand. "You made me the strongest," I could feel his grip tightening as more tears fell between us, his feet moving to step closer to me. "So tell me your secrets, I just can't stand to see you leaving..." My voice went up and down, full of emotion and I cried along with him, feeling his body shake. 

This was an intensely intimate moment for us because we were allowing each other to see us at our most vulnerable moment and he made it more than clear as he switched my hand to his other, putting the one on my shoulder so that he could lean his face into my hair, his tears falling endlessly. He pulled me into his grasp, his hands shaky as we bound together in this point of time, relishing in each other's comfort.

"Thanks."