"When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse. When the tears come streaming down your face cause you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?" Fix You, Coldplay

I was frozen.

I was completely and utterly frozen to the spot. 

The way Easton's eyes trailed across my skin made me feel contaminated like this body wasn't mine anymore. I could feel my phone falling out my grasp as he stalked his way over, his brown eyes lighting up with disgusting hunger. "Ezra Moore," He spoke in that dark tone of his that insinuated that he wanted something from me. My hands were shaking as the tension in the room became suffocating, wrapping its slimy little fingers around my neck, tightening with each step that he took.

"W-what are you doing?" I stammered, feeling my chest heaving back and forth as if the air was limited and he was sucking it all up. "I just wanted to have a conversation with the maid that everyone seems to love," His voice dipped low as he inched closer, just a few away from me now. "Is that so wrong?" He taunted and I looked up into his eyes, lip bitten to keep myself from whimpering. I didn't know why, but this man made me feel so uncomfortable and knowing that Nishan warned me to stay away from him, made it all the more disturbing.

I could feel the sweat beginning to dampen my skin as Easton chuckled darkly, invading my personal bubble. Move your ass, Ezra! For the love of fuck, move your ass! I could hear my mind screaming at me to dart away and run, but fear kept me rooted to that spot, unable to do anything but swallow that lump in my throat and stare with wide eyes that were going to fill with tears. "S-stop," I whispered, my body cold and rigid as the stench of his nasty cologne became pungent, swirling around my nostrils as if it was telling me that there was no way to go. 

"Is it, Ezra?" Easton's voice continued to darken, his aura taking one of a malicious predator as he stepped closer, the heat from his body slamming into me. Someone, please help me! I could feel my mind drifting into a dark place as his hand reach out to caress my cheek, his revolting touch causing my stomach to churn. "You have such lovely skin," He murmured, biting his lips as I shivered, on the verge of hyperventilating. He licked his lips as if he had been a man starved and this was the first sight of food. Unfortunately, I was repulsed and I wanted my body to move, but it just wouldn't.

His pupils were dilated, too dilated as he grinned widely like a maniac, caging me in with his big arms, his hands gripped the table behind me. My legs were shaking, but it felt as if I had lost all feeling in them. "S-stop," My lips quivered as a singular tear escaped my eye once I put together what was happening. "God, you smell so good," Easton groaned as his nose stuck its way in the crook of my neck, his scaly hand scraping my arm. Someone, please help. He stepped closer, breathing heavily as his chest bumped into me, providing me no escape.

My mind was racing so fast as his hand trailed down my arm, trying to caress the skin but it made me want to throw. "Stop." I shuddered, looking around for something to hit him with. His other hand trailed closer to my back, the hairs on my neck bristling at his disgusting touch. I needed to get out of this before the unexplainable could happen. "Don't be afraid, sweetheart," Easton cooed, placing a kiss along my neck as his hand gripped my waist, traveling exceedingly lower. 

I could feel nausea threatening to overtake me as his hand reached under the hem of my shirt, mostly to try and take it off. No matter what, I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't be a CEO if I couldn't get myself out of sticky situations, no matter how terrifying or how unable to move I was. I willed my hand to move in order to grab the vase that was behind me, gripping the base of it. I knew I felt powerless, but I couldn't let this happen to me. "Stop!" I yelled, banging the glass vase over his head, the shards flying everywhere behind him. 

Easton staggered backward, stunned as he reached around to touch the spot of blood on his neck. He looked at me with anger-filled eyes, his mouth contorted in a sneer as he came charging towards me, all intent to kill me. "Why, you little bi—" 

All of a sudden, the door busted open on its hinges, slamming against the wall with a crack and before I knew it, Easton was yanked away from me with a punch grinding into his cheek as he was flung into the wall, the impact rendering him unconscious. I blinked in utter confusion as I took in the man who came to my rescue. Standing in front of me in his leather jacket and jeans, heaving with anger and body shaking as he clenched his hands, jaw tightened, Nishan Lawrence was there.

"You motherfucking piece of shit!" His mouth shook as he put two fingers up to the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. I looked from to see Easton flat against the ground, eyes closed. I knew he wasn't dead, but I had no what idea what would happen if he awoke. I looked back to Nishan, seeing him breathing heavily. "Ni..." I trailed off, eyes filling with tears at the sight of him. My lips quivered as my hands shook, relief plaguing me. "Let's go, Ezra!" He yelled, his eyes filled with a familiar pain as he bit his lip. 

But I couldn't move.

"I-I can't," I whispered, looking down to my trembling legs and he turned me with a sigh. I didn't think he would do anything about it, but before I knew it, he was storming towards me with that confident stride and with the ease of muscles, he scooped me up in his arms. "Wrap your arms around me," Nishan instructed with command and I nodded grimly, placing my head on his shoulder as I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. 

He was here. Easton wasn't touching me anymore. That revolting and disgusting touch had been replaced by one of strength and comfort. 

As we exited the room, stepping over the broken pieces of glass, my phone in his hand, we heard the sound of feet hitting the floor. "What happened?!" Eve screeched as she took in the sight of me and the room and her brother. Leon looked utterly shocked and disheveled as if he had just woken up. Nishan put his hand on my waist, looking at his mother with a hint of contempt. 

"Control your god damn brother!" He snarled at her, clutching me to him tightly as he stormed out of the house. I felt the warmth of his body radiating into mine and I felt relaxed as if the last few minutes never happened. Though he was entirely homophobic and hated me, Nishan was holding me to him tightly as if I was a cherished object he didn't want to let go of. 

I didn't know how to feel about that.

As we reached one of his cars, his Mercedes Benz Exelero, the car chirped and he opened the door. "Are you okay?" He asked with tenderness in his tone and my chest tightened as I lifted my head up to look at him. "You're crying," He said in a soft tone and I put my hand up to my cheek, wiping away the tears. "Y-yes. I just didn't think this would happen," I muttered. I should've left and just got my phone when I came back tomorrow but alas, my mind gets the best of me.

Nishan nodded, gritting his teeth as he placed my body in the seat. He didn't do all of the buckling me in like they do in the movies, but he instructed me to do so before he got in. Once he was, the silence soothed my worries as he began to drive. "Type your address into the GPS," He demanded and I leaned over to the screen, plugging it in. I had never been this close to him since I've met him, and I had no clue what to think of this. "How did you know I was in there?" I asked and he tapped his hand against the wheel. "I came home and I saw your car. You're normally gone at this time so I knew something was up," He confessed quietly and that was all I needed to hear because the rest was implied.

"What about my car?" I asked hesitantly and he looked at me. "Don't worry about that. What time do you get out of class for the day?" He returned my question with another question and I blinked. "At 2." I stated and he nodded, giving me nothing more. I looked out of the window, seeing my reflection in the beautiful night sky. I had felt defeated, but also, I felt okay. I had so many questions and very little answers, but Easton's sickening touch didn't resonate on my body anymore and as I looked over to Nishan, who was focused on the road ahead, I knew why.

"...I'm sorry." 

He lamented in such a sad tone, his eyes glazed over with some sort of emotion that I couldn't pinpoint, his lips morphed into a frown. "There's no need to be," There was nothing else that I could say. "Thank you," I replied and he took that in stride. His face was still sullen and part of me wanted to ask what was wrong, but I knew better than to do that. After about five more minutes of driving, we pulled up to my apartment complex. For once, I was exceptionally glad to be home.

"Here," Nishan said as I grabbed onto the latch of the door, ready to dip. "Oh," I grabbed the eyewear from his open hands, seeing them for the first time since that night. "Thank you," It was a genuine smile that crossed his lips as I made eye contact with him, an involuntary blush painting my cheeks as I clutched my glasses in hand. I nodded to him, the air of the car taking another turn as I stopped myself from getting lost in those eyes.

I internally slapped my face, reminding myself of who this was. This was our Chief of Police, this was the man I was supposed to hate. This was the man who called me a fag. 

I let out a breath and stepped out, unsure if I should say bye or not. I closed the door and stepped onto the pavement, phone in pocket as I began to walk away.

"Wait."

I heard Nishan's voice and I turned around to look at him, seeing him standing there in front of me, his big hand held out to me. "What?" I asked, shivering from the cold wind. "Give me your phone." I furrowed my brow as I hesitantly reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. "Unlock it," He motioned and I did so, handing the phone to him. He tapped on the screen a few times before handing it back to me, seemingly pleased with himself. "What did you do?" I asked and he sighed, leaning against the side of his car. "I gave you my number."

It was casual and it was normal, but it wasn't. 

"W-what?" I sputtered, looking at him confusion as I turned to peer at the phone. Sure enough, his phone number was staring right at me. "Why?" I couldn't read the mind of this man, nor could I understand why he would do something like this. "Because I can," He retorted with a roll of his eyes and a nonchalant fold of his arms and I glared.

The playful air diminished as he opened his mouth. "You don't have to come back," He sighed and I shook my head, going to speak. "A-as long as he's not there," I gritted my teeth, knowing that I was making one of the worst decisions in my life. There was no way I was going to make it as a CEO like this, but it was too late to do so anyway (no, it wasn't). I was taking a risk, and it would either make me or break me. Either way, I would learn from it. 

"I'll continue to do my job," I said and Nishan's eyes glazed over. With what? I didn't know. He just stared at me, his arms folded and all of a sudden, his lips quirked up in a casual smirk. "You aren't the person I pegged you to be," He chuckled as he nodded towards me, walking towards the driver's side of his car. I furrowed my brow, wondering what he meant as he opened the door. "Don't worry," There was a soft smile playing at his lips as he put his arm on top of the car, leaning forward to look at me. "He won't be there." I could almost hear the unsaid words as he got into his car to watch me walk up inside the lobby.

But I will.

I couldn't stop the giddy feeling that rushed through my soul as I turned around to make my towards my apartment, holding my phone tightly. I had no idea what to think of this new person that was Nishan. 

Last night as I held my cat, I didn't have any nightmares.

The next day, however, was a totally different story. 

"Master Nishan requested that I pick you up myself," That was what was said to me by Michael as I walked up to him on the side of the campus, Travis next to me. "You know him, Ez?" Travis gripped my shoulder in a protecting manner and I chuckled, nodding. "Yes, he's the butler," I said, knowing that he would go berserk if I told him what happened last night. "Oh, nice to meet you, man," Travis shook Michael's hand before telling me to call him when I got home.

I nodded to him as he walked away, making sure that I slipped into the quiet covetry of the limo. I relished in the peace and silent as Michael drove. My mind was all over the place and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. Once we arrived, the house was silent with nothing but the sound of our feet hitting the marble floor. That was awkwardly odd, but I thought nothing of it.

"Your only task today is to clean and organize Natalie's room while she's away for a few days," I nodded as Michael handed me my cleaning kit and I went to get started. I grabbed the baby monitor on the way, knowing that Noelani was tended to while I was cleaning. "I hope I'm not wrong for coming back..." I whispered to myself, climbing the stairs. I hadn't seen Easton or his car, but one could only hope. With a deep breath, I pushed open the door to her room, placing my things upon the bed. 

Parts of the room were in a mess. There were clothes everywhere, bottles on the floor, and white pills on the floor, crunching beneath my feet. "The hell?" I grumbled, following the trail around the other side of her bed, seeing an array of pill bottles scattered on the ground next to a gold tray. I bent down to put the pills back in the open bottle, unsure if that was what I should do or not. I didn't want to throw them away in case she needed them. Damn, why did she throw everything like this?

I picked up the open pill bottle that was labeled Carbamazepine, frowning because I didn't know what it was used for. I just saw that it was made for Natalie and she had several refills on it. I placed the pills in it and put the bottle on the nightstand, curiosity biting me. Another bottle caught my eye and I picked it up, looking at it. "Escitalopram," I read to myself, recognizing the antidepressant. I had to take those once upon a time when I graduated from high school because I suffered from depression. 

Besides the pill bottles was a folded piece of paper. I put down the bottles and opened the paper, revealing it to be a psychiatric diagnosis form. It had Natalie's name and the date was February 17th, 2014. I read through it and her symptoms were described as self-hate, anger, depression, intense fear merging into panic attacks, changes in mood, bouts of impulse, lack of sleep, bitterness, fear of being abandoned and guilt. 

I read all the way through until the doctor had come to a clear diagnosis of the many symptoms. Her depression, change in mood, impulsivity and distorted self-image had come to one conclusion, all of the things creating one whole. "Type 4 Borderline Personality Disorder: Self-Destructive." I blinked and sighed as I turned the paper over, letting all of the news sink in. "Patient might participate in self-degrading sexual acts in order to compensate for self-esteem," I surmised that she had sex with random men when she could and paid them not to tell anyone, so she could feel more secure about herself. My theory could've been a complete lie since she was so successful as a lawyer and cosmetic artist, but I didn't know anything.

"Disorder has developed from pain and guilt from miscarriage four months ago." I read in the doctor's handwriting and I put the form back next to the pills, realizing how deep this family's problems went. I knew it wasn't her fault that she had to deal with this, but this was something that I wasn't prepared for.

Somehow, I knew that this wasn't it.