I just had a whole rant and explanation of what's going down in mah brain, so Imma try to piece it together here in words~

I think the reason why I have such a hard time putting thoughts to words is because I don't exactly think with words, I kinda think with emotions or ideas or pictures, but pictures that I do not actually see

And these thoughts happen so rapidly, I'm thinking it's why my first instinct is to talk faster, even though right now I can't pronounce things too good and my voice has been cracking lately.

In a span of a minute, I could've thought about ten different topics.

So not only do I not think in words, but I think rapidly.

And honestly, a lot of those thoughts are things that I don't exactly care about or something that I thought of before, so it really aint that hard for it to happen; sometimes it's more than that.

And even though I feel the urge to talk about all the random crap going on, I feel the stronger urge to keep it to myself.

I'm assuming that's because if the way I was raised as a smol child, both in school and at home, and everywhere else, honestly.

But sometimes when I feel the urge to talk things out, it isn't really "talking things out" and more like "making a bunch of noises that kinda sound like words but do not really make sense together"

It's strange, but either way I don't do it that much

And I also know that everyone else has something going on, so I don't exactly want to bother people with it because they could be dealing with something a lot worse and I don't even know

Before I always tried to stay optimistic, and I did.

But now, even though there were a lot of happy times this year, 2016 has been pretty crappy as well, after thinking about it.

I know it'll get better, and I'll know happy times are ahead, and I am looking forward to it, but lately I've honestly been feeling pretty hopeless, helpless, and exhausted.

I don't even know if that's what's actually happening or if I'm just overreacting again, and I want to do something about it, I want to make myself better, and I love the people in my life who make that easier to do, but I've been hitting a lot of "crashing moments" where I just suddenly feel emotionally and physically exhausted, like the life was just drained out of me

I don't know what it is, but at least I have some ideas of what's causing it.

I feel like this year has been filled with a lot more "I don't know"s, even though I don't always know all the things, I like having a good understanding of what's going on.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one feeling like this though.

Earlier I thought up of some other things that I wanted to talk about, but they slipped my mind, and I don't feel like looking for them again

But anyways, I hope y'all are having a good day :3