"Wait, so did you kiss or not," Amanda says to me over the phone on a Sunday night.

My cheeks grow hot and I groan in frustraction not wanting to repeat myself, "yes."

The simple word made my heart flutter.

Amanda screams on the other end and once she calmed down, everything on her side went silent, making me confused.  She is always talkative, I cannot name one time I have done something without her and she wouldn't ask about the next day.  "Was he good?  Like was there tounge?" she whispers.

"I'm hanging up now," I prompt.

"Have fun tonight," she says in a sing-songy voice before hanging up.

For tonight, I decide to put on some make-up, something I have so much of but never have time to put on.

I walk down the stairs texting Noah that I would be there in a few minutes.

"Juliet, honey?" my mom calls from the living room.

I hum and walk over to her to see her sitting on the couch with a cup of hot tea cupped in her hands, her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

I sit down on the couch across from her waiting for her to say something.

"I am a bit concerned," she said.

"With what," I lightly chuckle in amusement.

"With how much you are going out and- and what is that on your face?"  she points out.

"Oh, it's just a little but of make-up, mom," I say feeling a little insecure about the way she talked about it.  "I am only hanging out with my friends," I say innocently.

"Yeah, okay," she says like she doesn't buy my story.  "That's what kids always tell their parents when they are secretly doing something they aren't supposed to do," she mumbles under her breath.

"I'm not doing anything you don't know about," I exclaim.

"Like are you going to clubs?  Are you drinking?  I mean I understand if you are because on the news a lot of teenagers are introduced to alcohol at this age and-," she says completely ignoring me and talking over me.  She blabs about more things she thinks I'm doing and asks if I carry a condom with me.

I sigh, "I don't know what to get mad about first," I stand up in anger.  "The fact that you think that I am having sex behind your back or that you don't trust me."

______

"Yes!" I yell and stuff a hand full of popcorn in my mouth as a soccer player makes a score.

It makes me laugh seeing the sweat roll down their faces and how their expressions change from serious to less serious when they realize they are on the big board and on television.

The rest of the boys groan since they were voting for the other team.

We were all seated on the couch, our 5 bodies so squeezed together, I almost couldn't breathe.  Maybe it was because my hip was against Noah's.

Of course it isn't, Juliet!

I felt a hand gently place itself on my thigh making circles on it with its thumb.  I turn straight to Noah with wide eyes and he continues watching the game like nothing happened.

I fucking hate this! 

How is it fair that he could do this without feeling anything but he could literally look at me and that would make my heart fly out of my chest.

I move closer to him to test my theory and lean towards his face, using my hand to direct his chin towards me and his eyes meet mjne.  He grins like he won the lottery and places his lips on mine.

The rest of the boys cheer as their team scored a point but right now, I could care less about which team is going to win.  I only care about how soft Noah's lips were and how it is humanly possible for someone to be such a good kisser.

"Get a fucking room," Ethan says with a mouth full of popcorn as he throws some at Noah's head.

"I guess some people don't like this," I say into the kiss.

He stops for a second and looks into my eyes.  Insecurity floods over me.

Does he think so too?  Was I not as good as Britney?

"Do you care?" he simply asks, his eyes roaming my face.

"No," I quickly reply.  It was like everywhere he looked on my face, I felt the spot tingle.  "Do you?" I ask back softly.

He raises an eyebrow in amusement and smashes his lips onto mine.

_______

Amanda looks at me with pleading eyes and I don't give in.  We have a little staring contest before she decides to open her mouth.

"If you ask me what happened last night, I will cut off someone's head with a scissor," I say when Amanda and I meet up to walk to school.  "You know that I know that you know what happened.  You just want to hear me say it."

"What," she says innocently.  "I was just going to ask whether or not you like the weather today."

I roll my eyes, "the weather's nice."

I shove my hands in my jacket pockets, looking at the floor as we walk. I think about what happened last night and how much I absolutely loved it.  I wonder whether or not there was more to come or if he thought of me any different than the girls he has had flings with before.

We make it to the school parking lot.  "I'm gonna- I'm gonna go get some coffee.  See you in trig?" she says, stammering on her words.  His eyes look hard at me.  She's definatly trying to avoid someone else's eye.

"Yeah," I say confused, before turning around and bumping into Noah's bard chest.  "Fuck.  Do you seriously think being this close to me when I am turned around is going to end up well?" I say, regaining my balance.

He grabs my hand and drags me towards a random person's car as we duck behind it.  He hilds my face and pulls me closer to him.  "I couldn't sleep last night," he says, his hot breath against my red and cold nose.

"Just kiss me," I say desperately.

_______

I see Noah by his locker and a smile immediately appears on my face.  I smack myself internally for acting like every other girl in this school but how can I not?  As he puts his books in his locker, I see the muscles on his back move making me fall deeper.

I walk up to him and stand next to his locker.  He looks up and I smile at him using my hand to took his cheek.  His eyebrows furrow and shakes his face away from my hand. 

He takes a quick glance around before saying hurtful things that leave my other ear right when I hear them.  I can't process it all. 

I won't.

All I could do is hurt.

My hand falls to my side and I look around to see eyes amusingly watching me.

How could I have not known?  Why did I think that I was actually worthy of being in his life like this?

I shamefully walk into the nearest girls bathroom trying to avoid judgemental looks.  Luckily, no one was in there so I walk into a stall and cry the really ugky cry.

The one where the noises sound like a dying moose and your face is all scrunched up in pain.

I close my eyes in hope that I would wake up and everything would just be a dream, but, when I open my eyes, all I could see is a blurry bathroom wall.

A stupid blurry bathroom wall.

And, yes, I am still waiting for that amazing and spectacular thing that is supposed to come to me after all the shit, karma.

After what has seemed like hours, were only minutes, as I walk out of the stall meeting a crazy lady who lives with 500 cats in a small apartment in the mirror.

I comb my hair with my fingers, trying to tame my baby hairs and I wipe off the mascara trails down my face.  Like an idiot, I put my ears on the door to see if anyone was still in the hallways and I heard nobody and take that as a sign to leave.

I open the door to leave the school after a lonely stop at my locker as the cold air brushes through my hair.

A hand immediately grabs my arm from behind making me jump, but, when I turn around it was just Noah.

Now, when I say that name in my head, it isn't lust, it was disgust that washed over my body.  But, then again, there was that 1% that wanted to forgive him and travel to another dimension in his eyes.

I have the urge to rub my eyes to make sure this is reality but I don't because he cups my cheeks in his hand and pulls me to him.  At first, I don't kiss him back, but the way his hands caressed my face made me melt in the icy cold surrounding. 

I let myself melt into him as I kiss him back passionately and here I am.

Hypnotized and played with

again.