POV Lorian

The automatic doors opened to me, and I went inside. The airport was full of people. My hands shook as I held my purple suitcase.

I didn't want my mother to accompany me, despite her insistence on the subject. I felt bad about leaving her, but on the other hand, it was an amazing opportunity for me. 

I looked at the card in my hand, I cannot believe I really got a scholarship to attend a boarding school in Italy.

It feels like a dream, but I will not wake up from it. The only thing that frightened me and ruined the situation was the thought of what I did a few days ago, on the roof that turned into the rain forest.

I didn't know what I was doing and just wanted to forget it.

After passing all the security checks, I sat down on a wooden bench, waiting for the flight, looking out at the wide glass window that was far from me.

I began to walk slowly toward him, from which you could look at the various planes. 

I looked at a blue plane that was just close to the pilot's window and was a US flag. After a few minutes, I looked at his wheels, which began to move in orbit and then take off toward the sky. I felt a slight tremor in my body.

****(flashback)

My father's green eyes looked at me with love and warmth. He wore a gray coat with at least a few good layers of cloth on it so that he could stay as warm as possible in the cold weather outside.

His brown hair was neat and his hands held the handle of his big suitcase. I can't believe he's leaving again. 

Each time with the excuse that he will return quickly, and then pass them a few months until he comes back again, why do things always have to be so annoying?

 My mother came toward us and hugged him tightly. She was wearing her pink robe that came right up to the end of her body. He held her tight.

I knew how much my mother hated it, to see him go and try to think that she would see him soon.

 I was a little girl, but despite the big show they had forged, I had already learned the hard truth, it would not be a few days before I saw him again, but a long month in which I would be with my mother at home. 

After saying a few farewells and kissing each other, my father came over to me and went down on one knee to see my eyes better.

He hugged me tightly and so did I.
I didn't want him to go, but he had no choice, that was his job.

"I'll come back before you even feel it," he told me, but I knew it was just another lie.

"do you promise?" I asked. An unfamiliar spark appeared in his now weary eyes because of the late hour.

"I once broke a promise?" He asked, it was true, he never broke a promise, but I also knew he wasn't responsible for what was happening at work, he couldn't tell if he would be delayed for a few more days or even a week.

"I love you, sweetie," he said, hugging me again. When he walked away, I stopped him. He turned to me, puzzled.

"Take it," I said, and held out my hand, which held a gold medal.

 It was the first prize I ever won in a dance contest, I always gave it to him before he flew, so that he would return safely, to have something of me when he was away.

"Oh sweetheart," he said, bending a little.

 He took the medal and put it in one of my pockets. He kissed my head and stood up.

This time he waved goodbye to both of us and left the house. That night I could not sleep, usually, it happened to me when he flew. my mom and I were left alone.

 But tonight, it was different, I had a terrible feeling in my stomach, one that does not leave you even in the dream itself.

When I got up the weak light from the kitchen windows was the only light in the whole house.

 Everything looked so dark and sad. As I approached our living room I noticed my mother.

she was sitting on our blue sofa and still wearing her nightgown, but something sad was in her eyes when she looked at me.
She was crying.

"Mom, is everything all right?" I approached her quickly and stroked her back gently.

Her eyes were so red she seemed to be crying all night. It was midday, it was Saturday, she usually slept until late, something was strange here.

"Mama, why are you crying?" I asked again, and of course, there was no answer, just another long silence.

"Lauren," she began.

"Your ... your dad will be a little late with his trip," she began.

"How long?" I asked in confusion. He just flew yesterday, how much can change?

"He ... he won't come back." Her voice trembled as if something had prevented her from speaking.

"What do you mean?" I asked quickly. What happened to Dad?

"He ... he's dead," she said, and when the last word was said, a new stream of tears arrived and she cried again.

I was too shocked.
I  looked at a certain spot in the darkness that was in my room, and then my eyes wandered toward the faint light that came from the kitchen windows.

There was something comforting in the light, as if even in this darkness and mourning there was light.

****

I looked at the plane in the sky that was devoid of color, black and a sign of blue in them.

I remembered being afraid to board a flight since my father died. Five years have passed since then, I was still just a little girl, who should grow up with her mother in a house filled with memories. Fortunately, we both managed to get up and continue our lives. 

Of course it was very difficult, but in the end, I became a frighteningly optimistic person.  I'm trying to find light in every darkness.

I need to be optimistic, because if I won't be , I'll just be the same little girl that is waiting for her father to come back home.

Now I am still afraid, remembering all the times he has left, but apart from fear I have excitement and anticipation, a thought of a new place, and perhaps another beginning for me.

"Flight 405 leaves in a few minutes, passengers are asked to board" I heard the PA system say.

I got up and walked toward the entrance to the plane. When I found my seat, I sat down and put on my sweater.

I don't know if it was tired, but within a few minutes I was already in a deep sleep, so I hardly felt the takeoff.