[SETTING: PARTEVIA, SINBAD'S OFFICE]

Hakuryuu: You?! *spits out drink*

Me: Hai!

Kougyoku: Hello? No? *still drunk*

Me: I'm the ultimate Mary Sue.

Alibaba: *drunk* But, swhy? Howie yoouuuu?

Me: Let's see...I can't die, I control these worlds and I'm boring.

Kouen: 👌

Hakuei: Perfect description.

Koumei: Makes sense.

Kouha: *WASTED*

Me: So now what are you gonna do?

Hakuryuu: *points spear* We'll get rid of you.

Me: Sweetie, you can't do that.

Hakuryuu: Why not?

Me: Cause I just trolled you.

Hakuei: You're not a troll, you're human.

Me: To think that you can—

Anakin (Star Wars): *slams the doors open* WAIT! STOP THE WEDDING!

Alibaba: What wedding?

Luke (SW): My dad in a nutshell.

Anakin: That wedding! *points to an altar which magically shows up out of nowhere*

Pastor: Will you, Sinbad, take Ja'far to be your man?

Alibaba: *nosebleeds*

Me: I do not understand the concept of nosebleeds. How is it biologically possible to have a nosebleed through —

Pastor: Alright that's enough noise! Sinbad, your answer?

Sinbad: I do.

Pastor: Will you, Ja'far, take Sinbad to be —

Ja'far: Aw hell naw! I'm out! I don't even ship us.

Kougyoku: *all better* I'm against this wedding too! I ship SinKou!

Sinbad: Ew, no, I don't even like you! Ja'far, dude! Come back!

Kougyoku: 😢

Ja'far: Never. Not after you made prince Kouen throw me out of the window.

Kouen: 😐🖖

Sinbad: Aw, Ja'far you know that was a prank.

Ja'far: Where I died! *steps on him* You don't understand, do you?

*the two argue back and forth*

Spartos: They're not the only ones fighting...

Yamraiha: Shut up! Why, of all times, did you destroy my lab?!

Sharrkan: It was a mistake! Some douche bag slammed me on your lab.

Morgiana: Masrur, I think you went overboard with slamming Sharrkan.

Masrur: Don't ever tell them I did it.

Me: *sigh* Now, Kou Empire, what makes you think that you can defeat me?

Hakuei: I don't know... This! *opens door*

Aladdin: Har Har Infigar! *sends huge fireball towards Me*

Me: CO2 go! *fire extinguisher*

Aladdin: Impossible!

Arba: There's no way that you can defeat her.

Kougyoku: I'm really upset, so upset that I'll kill you! Vainel Ganezza!

Me: Flood control go! *activates flood control machine*

Hakuryuu: Belior Zauto! *summons huge dragon*

Alibaba: Belial is scary...

Everyone: *shudders*

Me: *covers eyes* *steals Luke's lightsaber* *destroys skeleryuu (dragon (ryuu)+skeleton)*

Luke: Why, why me?

Me: I love your lightsaber. Many people do too. *charges*

Hakuryuu: *changes to Zagan*

Me: The lightsaber...can't cut through this cool spear? Oh yes, Magoi Manipulation. Which is why, I have another tool.

Hakuryuu: Watch out. I have witnessed this power.

Me: Kerosene! *spills kerosene around the room* Chili!

Hakuryuu: *shudders* I remember this perfectly well. *dodges chili*

Chili: Hello, I'm Chili, please eat Me.

Hakuryuu: *runs away* *his experience with chili traumatized him*

Alibaba: Okay. *eats chili*

Aladdin: Alibaba! No!

Alibaba: *burning*

Kougyoku: Vinea! *flood*

Me: That won't work. The kerosene will rise to the top. Water will only make it worse.

Aladdin: Ah! It's burning water!

Koumei: *steals fire extinguisher* *activates it* *deactivates fire*

Kouen: This is a good tool, learn its schematics. If only we had this during the great fire, we would have saved princes Hakuyuu and Hakuren.

Me: Arg! I have another tool. Reinforcements!

Ezio (AC2): What is it now, woman? Oh hello there, ladies. *winks*

Kougyoku: *blushes*

Hakuei: 😐?

Me: Dude, drop the playboy attitude. Where are the others?

Ezio: Who knows?

[SOMEWHERE IN RENAISSANCE ITALY]

Altair (AC1): *chained* Someday, I'll get you back Auditore! That punk just wants to steal the spotlight!

Connor (AC3): *trapped too* If I could just... *picks lock*

Jacob (AC Syndicate): Give it up. There's no way you can break them. Leo made it sure.

Evie (AC Syndicate): We must team up then.

Arno (AC Unity): No way!

Evie: Hypocrite! You're from Unity and you're against Unity.

Arno: Shut up! Where's your so called Syndicate?

Evie: That's with my brother. Speaking of which, where are those Rooks?

Jacob: How am I supposed to know? What do I look like, the gang leader?

Evie: Erm erm, you are the gang leader!

Jacob: Oh crap, I think I just forgot my gang.

Arno: Stupide!

Henry (AC Syndicate): It's no use fighting. We must just think of a plan.

Altair: *mumbling to himself the various ways to torture Ezio* Yes, I think I'll drown him, then burn him and maybe infect him with the bubonic plague just to be sure.

Arno: Why are Templar shiz even here? *points*

Haytham (AC3): *labelled 'Templar shiz'* How did I get grouped with these people?

Shay (AC Rogue): *Templar shiz* Don't know.

Connor: Father, where's grandfather?

Haytham: Come to think of it, where's that old man?

Jacob: Him? Oh he's been hiding in that chandelier for quite a while now. He thinks we can't see him.

Edward (AC4): Dang it!

Haytham: Where are you going?

Edward: Since I broke out, unlike you mortals, I'll get my revenge on Auditore.

Connor: Good luck grandfather. 🙂

Haytham: Oh will you now? I had hoped you'd think of something else more sensible than getting yourself killed.

Edward: Now that you say that, son, I think I'll actually go.

Arno: Stupide!

Haytham: *facepalm* (I wish he'd just release us)

Shay: Is he always this stupid?

Haytham: *sigh* Unfortunately, he is.

[PARTEVIA]

Ezio: Definitely nothing going on back home.

Me: Are you sure?

Ezio: Yup?

Me: Then what's that? *points outside the building*

Edward: *comes running at the speed of light on a meteor* Auditorreee!

Ezio: Aw dang...

Hakuryuu: How are they even reliable?

Kouha: They're not.

Me: You rethink that...

Edward: You little Italian pizz! How dare you lock me up! *punches the guy cube (I got tired of square) in the face*

Ezio: Edward! The tiny pirate finally arrives! Why don't you sing 'Jake and the Neverland Pirates' theme song? *punches him sphere in the face*

Edward: I never heard of that! Only guys like you watch kids' shows. I'm all about the cool stuff! *punches him cylinder in the face*

Ezio: *punches him cone in the face* What happened to your roasts man?

Me: Alright! Enough with the shape punching! I'll pay you 2 billion pounds...UK for a job.

Ezio: Not taking it.

Edward: I've already hacked my game. I have tons of money.

Me: If you take care of these guys, it's two thousand girls for Ezio and one tonne of rum for Edward.

Ezio: Fine.

Me: Eek! You horny!

Edward: It's a deal.

Me: You drunkard!

Arba: Any time now!

Me: Okay. Opponents, you guys will be destroyed...Wha?

*a spa in front of her*

Alibaba and Alibaba: *tanning*

Hakuryuu: *applying face mask* Don't know if this will fix my scar but I'll give it a chance.

Judar: *styling his hair*

Kouen and Sinbad: *taking a massage*

Sinbad: Yes, massage that part! Yes! Oh yes!

Ja'far: *relaxing in a bubble bath*

Kougyoku: *taking a peach fruit bath with Judar stealing all the peaches*

Hakuei: *taking a manicure*

Koumei: *sleeping*

Kouha: *lifts cucumber that was on his eyes* You were saying?

Me: How did you guys find the time to do all this?

Ezio: ...

Edward: I'll kill the guy who's sleeping. It's easier that way.

Ezio: Coward!

Me: Just go.

*A FEW MINUTES LATER*

Ezio: All done! Now the women.

Edward: Me too, the rum.

Me: Ezio, you already have such women.

Ezio: I do?

Me: Yes, your wife. She can do what those women can do over two thousand times and for free plus with a bonus like doing your chores for you.

Ezio: That's just like giving me my stuff! But I admit, I miss my wife.

Me: And what if I said I kidnapped her?

Ezio: What?

Me: Nevermind, she's at home.

Edward: Rum, now.

Me: You already have the rum.

Edward: I do?

Me: Yea, inside you. If you just drink your sweat, it'll taste just like rum.

Edward: *runs outside* Yay! Free rum!

Arba: He actually believed that? So gullible.

Me: Yep. Now, do you guys need more beating?

Alibaba: We give up! You win! I just want to resume my tanning.

Hakuryuu: The face mask did not fix my scars. Damn Chinese products! Oh wait...

Me: What happened to your resolve?

Hakuei: It's true that we have resolved to destroy all Mary Sues, but after the spa... I just can't!

Me: 🙄

Judar: Hey, guys, what do you think of my hair?

Me: Ack! It's Rapunzel!

Judar: Oh hell naw, I don't want this hairstyle!

Me: Out of all people, I thought that you would be most eager to fight.

Judar: Don't get me wrong, I love fights but I gotta fight with style and this is just not my style!

Kouha: Don't worry, I'll fix your hair!

Ja'far: I just got out of the bath — What the hell!

*sees the bloody corpses of people*

Ja'far: *sees Sinbad's corpse* Meh. He's drunk I bet.

Me: O_O

Kouen: Me. I have accepted my defeat and your win. *sips vodka*

Me: Oh whatever! The Mary Sues win! That means... *removes spa*

Koumei: *falls on the floor* What? Why?!

Kougyoku: *cries*

Judar: Finally, my hair is done that means I can — Wah! Peaches! Where did you go?

Hakuryuu: *sigh*

Alibaba: My body aches, and in places I didn't know existed.

Sinbad: *revived* Me! Please, bring back the spa.

Me: I can grant your wish for —

Yato (Noragami): — 5 yen!

Yukine (Noragami): *glares* *drags Yato by the ears and beats him up with a baseball bat*

Me: Ignoring that, I will return your spa, only after...

Kouha: After what?

Me:  ...after Ja'far and Kouen accompanies me to a festival. I just wanted buddies, but I needed well-mannered people.

Hakuryuu: Hey, I'm well-mannered too.

Me: Says the one who hit me with a spear. 💢

Kouen: *internally cringing*

Kouha: En-nii. It's okay if you don't want to go.

Koumei: My brother and king, it's your choice.

Aladdin: So much respect...

Sinbad: Ja'far! How could you!

Alibaba: No! Ja'far, please go! We know how much you enjoyed that bubble bath.

Aladdin: These guys are just...

Ja'far: Sinbad and paperwork? Or festival and bubble bath?

Sinbad: Ja'far is a work addict, of course he wouldn't go.

Ja'far: I'll go.

Sinbad: *mouth opens wide*

Ja'far: Don't worry, I'll bring back some souvenirs. I've never tasted rice wine. It must be healthier.

Sinbad: ✨ Okay, you can go.

Alibaba: This is the first time Ja'far is actually bringing wine for Sinbad.

Me: Great! Let me pick up some other people. Since you were enthusiastic, will you please accompany me, Haku... Sorry. I meant JuKou.

Kougyoku: Fine. Though I don't have the same feelings.

Judar: Me too.

Hakuryuu: What why not me?

Me: Because...eh... You hit me with a spear and I'm still pissed.

Hakuryuu: I'm sorry, my lady. *bows, taking her hand*

Me: *flustered* I'm a lady? Dude, don't do that. I know you're just trying to make me choose you.

Hakuryuu: (Dang it!) And if I didn't?

Me: *mumbles* We'd never have the ch...chance anyway...

Hakuryuu: What?

Me: It's settled then. Kouen and Ja'far will accompany me to the festival. While Judar and Kougyoku accompany me during negotiations.

THE OP PEOPLE WAR ENDS IN PEACE.

****

Long time no see... Why do I get the feeling that you readers forgot this?

"The stone which the builders rejected as worthless turned out to be the most important of all." (- Psalms 118:22)