"Maggie, at least eat something. You can't keep going on like this. You'll get sick"

"I'm fine Sheila. Just leave me alone"

"Ever since you were discharged from the hospital you haven't eaten anything"

"Please Sheila, leave me alone. I need to think about what I'll do next. You're right, I can't keep going on like this. Something has to give"

"I don't like it when you talk like this. You're different. It's as if you're...."

"As if I'm what?" Maggie asked raising her eyebrows. She wanted to know what her friend thought of her. Because she didn't know who she was at that moment. After everything she'd gone through for the last two weeks, it was hard to say who she was. If Sheila was looking for a word to describe her, lost would be it.

"I don't know how to describe it. Empty is the only word I can up with. There is nothing in your eyes"

Forcing herself to smile, she said "I do feel empty. But you know the reason so let's not talk about it"

"Maggie....."

"I'm fine Sheila. I just need some rest and I'll be okay tomorrow. I promise"

"Thomas said he'll come over to check on you"

"I don't know why you guys are worried. My wounds are superficial and they'll heal in no time"

"You know we're worried about the...."

"Goodnight Sheila" she turned to face the other side of the bed putting an end to the conversation. As much as Maggie appreciated Sheila's help, she couldn't open up about how she felt. It was hard to pinpoint other feelings but there was one she was trying to ignore. And that was her anger.

In all her life, nothing had ever brought forth that feeling. When her mother was mistreating her, she took it as a lesson. In her eyes, Mrs. Baraka was only trying to teach her how to be a good wife. When they'd tried to kidnap her and take her to the village, she hadn't been angry but scared. Every time Abby did something or called her names, she never took it to heart. Because she knew that it didn't matter what anyone thought of her. Sooner or later, they would see that she didn't mean anyone harm and they would like her.

But this was different. This time she couldn't ignore it. The hurt she felt was too much to handle so she channeled it into anger. Which wasn't a good thing but she had no choice. Being angry was better than dealing with a broken heart. She'd trusted him. With her heart, body and soul and he'd discarded her like trash. He had called her those ugly names without listening to her explanation first. Every time she closed her eyes, those words rang in her head. Slut, whore, trash.

As if that wasn't enough, she couldn't sleep because she had nightmares about those men attacking her. Some nurses at the hospital told her she was lucky she hadn't been raped. Like that was supposed to make her feel better. The fact that she'd been beaten by four men but hadn't been raped. They said it so lightly that Maggie almost believed it. She almost convinced herself that she was lucky. But then she'd close her eyes and relive that ordeal all over again and realize that there was nothing lucky about it.

She didn't want to drown in those feelings. She'd spent a week in a hospital bed wondering why her life was so unfair. Why she couldn't be like those ordinary girls who grew up in a loving family and had people who loved them. Janet had told her once that she was brought up by her mother. And when she left home, her mother had told her that if things got hard she could always go back. She was welcomed there any time. Did Maggie have a place she could always go back to? 

Her parents wanted to marry her off to an old disgusting man. She had Thomas but she knew he wouldn't look after her forever. One day he would have his own family. Then she would have no one. She was all alone in this big cruel world with no home to go back to. In that moment, she wondered what it would be like to have a mother who loved and cared about her. She really needed someone to tell her what to do. In the condition that she was in, she feared that she would end up making the wrong decisions out of anger.

You're on your own Maggie. This is what it means to be a grown woman. No one is going to help you. And he doesn't love you so forget about him. The voice in her head whispered.

Except it wasn't that easy. Forgetting everything that has happened between them. The whispered promises and words of love. The caresses and kisses. She remembered every touch, every laugh that they shared. Those memories were like a broken record, playing over and over in her head. And they all ended the same way. With him kicking her out of his house. It was more like throwing her out. What hurt most was that he did it knowing she was pregnant with his baby. He didn't care about her or about what would happen to her.

So there in that bed, all alone and hurting, Maggie decided to show everyone that she wasn't trash. She'd lost everything which meant she had nothing else to lose. She was going to do everything in her power to get that Nivea contract and every other important client who came to the agency. One day she was going to be on top. It was the only way she could show them, him, that she wasn't trash. She promised herself that it was the last time she was going to cry over anyone.

"Maggie, you look better" Nigel said the next morning. Her eyes were a bit swollen from crying all night but it was nothing a little makeup wouldn't fix.

"I feel better. Thank you for the fruits you sent when I was in the hospital"

"You're welcome. So how can I help you? You've never come to my office before"

"I want the Nivea contract" she blurted out.

"There's only one week left. You'll have to battle it out with Sheila"

"I don't just want it, I need it. I heard rumors that the shoot will be in South Africa and I want to go there"

"Why? Are you running away from Brian?"

She stilled "What?"

"He's been coming to the agency everyday, waiting for you to come back. I'm pretty sure he'll be here today too"

He was looking for her. That thought had her stomach doing a little flip. Then she remembered what he'd done and cursed herself for still caring "I'm not running. I want to be successful Nigel. I want to earn a lot of money then go back to school, study and earn more money. I want to stop being the village girl"

"And you think having the Nivea contract will give you all that?"

"No. But it will be a start. I'll do my best and hopefully impress someone who will want to hire me and so on, until I get to where I want to be"

"Congratulations. You just realized what ambition is and I am happy for you but you have one little problem"

"What problem?"

"Aren't you pregnant? I heard the other girls talking about it....."

"I'm not pregnant anymore so that isn't a problem" she cut him off.

"Oh" Nigel said. He looked a little shocked and Maggie thought he was going to ask what had happened but at the last minute he changed his mind and instead said "Well, then I will do my best to find you other jobs. I can't guarantee the Nivea contract, but I'll show your portfolio to some people I know and see how it goes"

"Thank you. I won't forget this" she replied getting up. Maggie was at the door when Nigel called her back.

"Maybe you could ask Sheila to drop out of the competition. If you want it that bad, talk to her"

She hadn't thought of that. Aside from the handsome pay Nivea was offering, it would expose whoever won to international agencies. For someone who had been modeling longer than her, she deserved it. No one worked harder than Sheila. It would be unfair for Maggie to ask such a huge favor from her. But Nigel was right. If she wanted it that bad then she would have to ask. Since Sheila wasn't at the agency, she decided to talk to her when she got home.

She was in the lift waiting for the double doors to close when the one opposite her opened. She looked up and saw Brian exiting just as it started slide close. Their eyes met but thankfully he was too slow. By the time he started moving towards her, the elevator had already closed. Breathing through her mouth, she tapped her foot impatiently, willing the box to go down faster. She didn't want to talk to him. Or see him. He looked haggard, as if he hadn't been eating and sleeping well. Stupid girl.

It didn't matter that he'd gone looking for her. He'd made his decision. Going back to him was out of question. She was also scared that she would cave in and forgive him if he asked her to. Then she would give him the chance to hurt her again. "No, please. No, no, no" she chanted, all the way down. The second the elevator reached the ground floor, she rushed out and ran to the bus stop like a mad woman. Good thing Brian didn't know where she was staying or he would have followed her.

Maggie only allowed herself to breathe when she reached home. "That was fast. How was it?" Sheila queried eyeing her messy appearance. She'd resorted to running just in case he'd gotten lucky and found her.

"I want to talk to you first"

Frowning, Sheila asked "About what?"

"Just hear me out before you judge me"

"You're acting weird Maggie. What's going on?"

"I need you to drop out of the Nivea contest so that I can have It"

"Drop out? Why?"

"Because it's the only way I can leave this place. I need a break Sheila. Every time I close my eyes, I see those men, I hear them laughing while kicking me. I keep reliving that night and I can't take it anymore. I need to leave before I go crazy"

"That's why you want this contract?"

"Yes. I also want to show them that I'm not as stupid as they think I am" she didn't have to explain who them were. Sheila understood her perfectly.

"But Maggie, you know how huge this contract is"

"I know and I promise that I'll repay this favor some day. Just please let me have this one. Please Sheila"

"How am I supposed to say no when you beg like that?"

Maggie jumped up "You're going to drop out?"

"Yes. But it'll mean that you owe me big time. My favors don't come cheap"

"Thank you Sheila. I won't forget this"

"You better not" she said rolling her eyes. They sat there, each with their own thoughts until Sheila asked quietly "Are you going to tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"About the baby"

"It's not his. Remember?"

"You can't hide it forever. He's going to find out one way or the other"

"It won't be from me. I don't ever want to see or talk to him again"

"He called me a week ago asking where you were"

Maggie turned to face Sheila "What did you say?"

"That if he wanted to see you then he'll have to camp out at the agency because no one knew where you were"

"So it's your fault that he keeps going there everyday"

"It was either that or give him my address. He sounded miserable Maggie. And desperate to find you. He said that he wanted to apologize for everything"

"I don't want his apology. And don't you ever tell him that I'm staying here"

"I think you should talk to him. That way you can find closure. Forgive him if it's possible then continue living your life. It's the only way you can move on"

"I'm not ready to see him, let alone have a conversation with him. I'm going to take a nap. I didn't sleep well last night" she added heading to her bedroom. The two bedroom apartment was shared by Sheila and her younger sister, Brenda who'd gone on a school trip, then back home to visit her parents which was how Maggie was able to have her own room. Although, she suspected that Sheila had told her sister to stay home until she left. Either way she was grateful to both of them. They'd helped her a lot and as soon as she was able to, she would repay their kindness.

She worked hard in the weeks that followed. Since Sheila had dropped out, she started training with her partner. Drew was nowhere to be seen. Abby hadn't wasted time on telling her how they'd done everything to break her relationship with Brian. She suspected Drew was hiding because he was ashamed or because he couldn't face her. Whatever it was, she didn't care. One day she would be able to turn the pages. She wouldn't stop until she had erased every last shred of the village girl in her. Maggie knew it wasn't going to be easy but she was determined to do her best.

It didn't matter how long it took. One day she was going to prove to them that she was anything but trash.

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I see this as the second last chapter before we go to Part Two. Everything's gonna change 😜