"Dr. Sadia?"

Sadia was disturbed from her nap by her assistant. "Is she awake?" Sadia inquired as she got up.

"Yes, she is. She's demanding to leave."

"Leave?" Sadia frowned. Why on earth would that patient want to leave? "Did the house officer take her history?" Sadia asked she quickly donned her shoes.

"The patient is refusing. She demands to leave."

"Well, that shows that she's either confused or afraid." Sadia muttered and quickly left her office for the ER. As soon as she entered the ER private wards, she saw her patient trying to struggle out of the Nurses' grip who were trying to calm her down.

"No, let me go! I don't want to be here!" She screamed, her face tear stained. Sadia quickly ran to her.

"Woah woah, calm down." Sadia said softly but the girl wasn't listening. Sadia quickly ordered the nurses to let go and as soon as they did, the girl started to shake and tried to get off the bed but collapsed as soon as her feet touched the ground.

Sadia helped her up. "It's okay. You're alright."

"I shouldn't be here. I need to leave." The girl cried.

"It's alright. You can leave but we need to check you up first."

"No please!" The girl was horrified, her face ghastly pale and panick stricken. "I need to get home. I need to get back!"

"Would you like for us to call your parents?"

The girl stilled as soon as she heard Sadia say 'parents.' Sadia anticipated this type of behaviour from the girl. It was typical for a rape victim to be traumatised and have panic attacks and when she fainted, this was to be expected.

Sadia sighed and instructed the nurses to put her properly in the bed.

Sadia remained with the girl until she woke up an hour later. But this time, she was relatively calm. Sadia noted down her behaviour. It was important to be vigilant with these kinds of patients.

"How are you feeling?" Sadia asked. The girl looked at her and her eyes welled up all of a sudden.

"Please help me." She cried, in English.

Sadia offered a kind comforting smile. "That's what I am here for, my dear." She said in English as well. "I'm Dr. Sadia. I'm here to help."

The girl stared at Sadia in bewilderment. "You're a doctor? You're so young."

Sadia chuckled. "I get that a lot. But yes, I am a doctor." Sadia's looks easily gave her away. Even though she was twenty one, people usually took her for a teenager or a medical student instead of a consultant.

"Now, please relax." Sadia started when the girl tried to sit up. Sadia helped her up. "Are you relaxed?" she inquired.

The girl was staring into space, tears falling from her eyes, a look of utter despair and devastation marring her features. Sadia couldn't help but pity the poor girl. As soon as Sadia was going to start, the door of the wardroom opened and in walked a senior consultant and took a seat beside Sadia. She was Sadia's supervisor. Even though Sadia was a consultant herself, but the department didn't trust her with delicate cases since Sadia had a record of not dealing well with them. But Sadia never seemed to mind: she always believed in improvement and that's exactly what she was here to do.

"Is she oriented?" The doctor inquired.

"Yes, madam, she is." Sadia replied. The doctor nodded and turned towards the young lady, a soft smile stretching on her lips.

"Can you tell us what happened with you?"

She inquired in a gentle voice. The girl looked at the doctor and Sadia could tell that she was comfortable as she started explaining her situation.The girl was on a date with her boyfriend. He was very insistent of them having intimate relations but the girl resisted for a long time until he attacked her on their date. The girl burst into tears as she recalled the events, crying loudly. Now this was the phase of the patient that intrigued Sadia more and piqued at her curiosity so much. She wanted to understand the girl's emotions but failed to arise any feelings apart from sympathy and a little bit of anger; anger at the girl for not being careful herself and as a result, this happened.

"Now now," the doctor stood up and went to console the weeping girl. "We understand, you mustn't give up. We'll help you as best as we can and we-"

"You shouldn't have gone with him in the first place. You should've been careful. Your cautious-less actions led to your current condition." Sadia blurted.

The senior consultant gawked at Sadia in shock. Sadia realised what she had said but kept her composure. The girl who was crying went into silence.

"You're right I- I shouldn't have,"

"Please excuse us," the doctor glared at Sadia in disapproval and jerked her chin towards the door. Sadia understood and left the room. The senior consultant remained inside and came out a few minutes later.

"Dr. Sadia, this is the third time that you have acted this unethically." She scolded.

"I'm sorry madam. I meant no offence." Sadia said in earnest.

"It's not about taking offences. You should've been sensitive to the girl's feelings."

"What I said was only the logical cold hard truth." Sadia tried to justify herself.

"Yes, but she didn't need to be reminded of something that she already knew. Tell me, why do you take these cases? This is the third time you've acted this way. You can't even empathize with such patients. Are you disgusted with such cases?"

"Disgusted?" Sadia uttered in confusion. "Why would I be disgusted with such cases?"

"Then why can't you learn to empathise with such cases?"

"I do madam. I do sympathise with them. But I just don't understand them. That's why I take these cases, to understand them."

"Sadia, you don't need to understand them. You can never know the feelings of a person who has undergone a severe trauma." The doctor reprimanded. "The only thing that you need to do as a doctor, is your job. Council victims, try to offer help and therapy. That's all. Nothing else is required of you. Learn to do your job right. Don't try to get too involved."

"I know but madam-"

"Furthermore," The doctor interjected sharply. "You need to learn to keep your logic and curiosity to yourself." Sadia was quiet.

The doctor noticed Sadia's dismay. She sighed and patted Sadia's shoulder. "I know that you are very curious and your thirst for knowledge knows no bounds. But Sadia, not every case is a test specimen. You cannot treat every delicate case as if it's a guinea pig, waiting for you to explore and experiment on. They are people who've been deeply hurt. And you need to understand that. Have some limits."

Sadia stared at her supervisor for a few seconds. She wanted to tell her that that was exactly what she wanted to do, to understand a victim's feelings and try to establish her limits so that she may serve better as a physician. But all Sadia did was nod her head in the affirmative. Her supervisor also nodded and dismissed her for the evening.

Feeling exhausted, Sadia called her driver and decided to call it a day. As soon as she Sadia entered her office, she roughly threw away her clip board and pulled off her white coat, feeling bitter tears rise in her eyes. She felt angry and upset. Angry at herself for being so insensitive and careless and upset at the situation and how it turned out to be.

She felt so down. She felt like a failure. And she hated that feeling. She had gotten so used to winning and dealing with situations that sometimes, she forgot to remind herself that she wasn't perfect. But could anyone blame her? With a IQ level as high as +130, she was bound to seek perfection in everything, even herself. But reality always struck her down. And she was reminded that there was no such thing as perfection.

Sadia wiped away her tears and pulled herself together. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, indicating that her driver had arrived.

She had a long day. A long day full of failures.

First with Anissa Ghulari's failed therapy session. And now this failed attempt to help another victim of trauma.

But it's alright. She thought enthusiastically as she went and picked up her white coat from the floor. Dusting it off, she gently folded it on her arm and slung her bag on her shoulder.

Failures make a person more wise. I'll make the best out of it. She reminded herself and tried to smile. She could only manage a small smile.

Walking out, she left her saddening thoughts behind, for the weekend had arrived and she had a lots to do.

***********

Sadia woke up early on a Saturday morning. After doing her morning routine, she went down stairs to have breakfast. She had expected her father to be at the table and as expected, she found him reading his paper.

"Asalam alaikum baba," she greeted cheerfully.

"Walaikum Asalam, doctor Sahiba!" The General chirped joyfully. His daughter was the apple of his eye. Sadia came to him and bowed her head. Her father tenderly patted her head.

"How are you feeling, baba?" She inquired as she took her seat.

"Alhamdulillah, much better." He beamed.

Sadia nodded. "But you still need to be careful. Ever since you joined work, you haven't been taking care of yourself." She reprimanded her father.

He chuckled. "Don't worry about me bachay. I'm fine. It's you who I'm worried about. You are always working."

She shrugged. "Yes well, that's what my job demands and besides, I have to finish my research soon. I'm thinking of going for PhD after my double specialisation."

Gen. Abdul Rehman smiled softly at his daughter, his eyes shinning with pride. "You make me so proud, my child."

Sadia also smiled and asked the maid to.bring her breakfast.

"Did I mention, your phupho is coming." Her father informed.

"Really?" Sadia asked with a smile. Her phupho, Aasia, was her father's only sister. She was ten years older then Sadia and she was Sadia's best friend. After her mother had died, Aasia raised her. Even though Aasia was a married woman with two children of her own and a loving husband, she made sure to come and spend as much time with her niece as possible.

"But baba, I think you should've told her not to come this month. I have a lot to cover and you are also busy."

"Well, you can tell that to her, yourself."

"Baba," she groaned, pouting. The thing about Sadia was that she always kept herself busy in her studies and work. "I won't be able to work with her around. And you know how much she loves to waste time and act like a kid. Speaking of kids, are they also coming?"

"Well you're in luck. She's also coming for some work. So you don't need to worry."

"Speaking of work, what are you up to these days? Which corp. is assigned to you?"

Gen. Abdul Rehman continued to sip his tea as he fixed his spectacles and straightened his papers. "I've been posed in the intelligence this time." He informed.

"Oh," Sadia didn't bother asking further because she knew that her father wouldn't say anything. This was the third time her father was posted in the intelligence.

"Congratulations baba, this time, you're posted as a General." She beamed at her father.

"Shukria, baita,"

They continued with their breakfast. When Gen. Abdul Rehman was about to leave, he turned back to Sadia who was drinking her coffee.

"There is a gathering tonight. Azfar will be escorting you. I won't be able to attend because I have to leave for some work but be sure to give my greetings to the others."

"Oh," Sadia's eyes widened as panic bloomed in her chest. "But baba, I have so much to do and-"

"Now now, Sadia. You can work later. I know that you hate these gathering but you need to get used to them. You'll be marrying an officer and attending army gathering will become a necessity."

"It's not that," she muttered under her breath. The test results came a few days ago and They were as Sadia had anticipated. And now, all she had to do was break it to her father. Now, she was actually glad that her phupho was coming. This was something important that she needed to discuss with her.

"I will see you later, baita." Her father excused himself and left. Sadia also went to her bedroom and started her work.

Time passed by. Sadia hadn't even noticed that it was late in the afternoon when a maid came to inform her that her aunt had arrived.

Sadia went down to greet Aasia.

"Asalam alaikum, phupho." Sadia hugged her aunt.

Aasia was young woman in her early thirties. She was beautiful but she wasn't aging gracefully as she had hoped and as a result, she looked older then she actually was. But she was a wise woman and always helped Sadia with her problems. She was the only mother figure that Sadia knew.

Aasia hugged Sadia tightly. When she pulled away, she gently kissed her cheeks. "You're glowing, Mashaa Allah."

Sadia smiled. "Come, let's have lunch. I was waiting for you to arrive. I had your favourite kababs made."

"Aww, Saadi, that's so sweet of you."

They headed inside and as they ate, they caught up in all the things that had happened with them the previous month. As the dessert was served, Aasia eyed Sadia mischievously.

"What?" Sadia asked.

"You know what." Aasia nudged her softly as she wiggled her brows, her brown eyes twinkling with amusement. Sadia stared at her eyes. How much she had wished to have normal eyes; or more like, if she was normal as a whole. All her life, because of her coyness, she faced bullying in school and was dubbed as a freak because of her eyes until she started wearing contacts.

"Hello?" Aasia snapped her finger in front of her face. Sadia pulled out of her dazed thoughts. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." Aasia raised a brow at her.

"I really don't." Sadia said innocently.

"I mean about Azfar,"

"What about him?"

"Oh my God! Saadi," Aasia groaned. The thing about her niece was that she could be so dense and naive sometimes.

"I mean, how's it going between you two of you?"

"It's alright." Sadia answered as she ate her dessert but Aasia had noted the soft blush on her cheeks. She chuckled and pinched her cheeks.

"Stop that!" Sadia whined loudly.

"You're so cute."

"Real mature phupho."

"No I mean, have you guys grown closer in these past months?"

"Why would we? Its not appropriate."

"What's inappropriate about it?" Aasia frowned. "You two are engaged after all."

Sadia raised a brow at her aunt.

"Oh, now I know what you mean." She said as she proceeded to pour green tea in her cup. "But don't worry, you two are bethroved. The official engagement will take place anyway so-"

"There won't be an official engagement, phupho." Sadia muttered under her breath, her eyes dazing into space.

"Alright Sadia I know that you're still in the process of accepting This reality but-"

"No phupho!" Sadia looked at Aasia solemnly, her blue brown eyes gazing at her in earnest. In her family, it was only her father and her aunt who were not freaked out by her hetrochromia.

Aasia recognised that look in her neice's eyes. "What do you mean, Saadi?" She asked, her tone and expression serious, all signs of playfulness gone.

"The results of the test came a few days ago. And it was as how I had predicated. Azfar is also carrying the genes for schizophrenia." Sadia conveyed.

"I see." Aasia nodded in understanding.

"What will you do now?"

Sadia sighed. "I'll talk to baba about this."

"Yes, I'm sure that he will understand."

"I'm more worried about Azfar." Sadia confessed.

"Yes you're right." Aasia sighed as well. "He really likes you. If I didn't know any better, I would say that that boy is in love with you." She breathed in deeply. Sadia flinched at that revelation.

"N-o, of-of course not," she stammered, her breath hitching in her that as her cheeks went ablaze with color and her heartbeat spiked. She had never even thought of that. She didn't know why she felt so uneasy upon knowing something like this, but she knew that it didn't sit well with her.

"He doesn't," she swallowed and took a sip of her tea.

Aasia smiled softly at her naive niece. "Believe whatever you want to, my dear." She murmured.

"I need to go and get ready. There's a gathering tonight that baba wants me to attend with Azfar." Sadia informed and jumped to her feet.

Aasia grew concerned. "Please don't speak of this with Azfar yet. Let me and your father deal with it."

"Alright." Sadia agreed. Aasia watched her leave. Sadia was one intriguing girl. She was often quiet and mostly kept to herself but another trait of hers was that she always tackled matters with logic. She was just too practical and smart. She wasn't like others girls who dreamed of rainbows and sunshine and wanted a Prince Charming. No, Sadia was a girl who wanted to make a difference in the world. And that quality made her too socially awkward. Not many understood her.

She was introverted, shy and honest girl, but her straight forward nature always got her in trouble.

"I worry about that girl." Aasia sighed to herself. "She's thinks way too much with her head and never gives her heart a chance." She said as she remembered Sadia's reaction when she told her that Azfar might he love with her. She had to be honest though, even she didn't know for sure but she hoped for the best for her niece, who was like one of her own daughters.

*********

Sadia sighed and placed her empty glass on the table. Excusing herself, Sadia entered the dinning hall that was now empty as the barbecue buffet was outdoors.

Sadia was bored to death of such meets. All she wanted to do was go back home and work on her research papers. So in her boredom, she began to formulate the sequence of her paper in her mind when her eyes caught the news displayed on the flatscreen television that was muted out but she read the news strip:

'Another blast in the west northern front. The army is trying its best to continue on with the military operation but the insurgents that have taken control of the route are putting up quiet the fight....'

"Sadia?"

Sadia jumped at Azfar's voice. He smiled at her and saw her watching the news.

"Oh, umm," she bit her lip, her fingers wringing in nervousness. She was comfortable at the ladies side of the gathering but she was bored to death of the shallow and superficial talks of the ladies who were wives and daughters of high ranking officers. Sadia always avoided this lot, they had nothing better to do with themselves other then discussing the latest fashion couture or gossiping about other people's relationship. Sadia just didn't have the knack for that sort of talk.

"Ah yes, that's the problem these days." He told.

"Um, the operation?" Sadia inquired, her head down and eyes on the marble floor.

"Yes."

"Is it true, um, that the, uh, mafias from Karachi are......involved?" Sadia asked in a small voice.

"Yes. We don't know for certain yet. It can be anyone but obviously, the suspicion is always on the most powerful Mafia."

"You mean," Sadia paused as she raised her eyes a little and saw that Azfar was already looking at her. She felt even nervous. He was looking dashing in his sky blue dress collar shirt along with black dress pants. He looked so handsome that it made Sadia feel even more nervous.

"The MMM?"

"Yes. But we have no proof. I don't think that they are directly involved but one thing we do know for certain, that the Ghulari family is behind this." Azfar said, his face growing hard. Sadia could understand it: the army was surrounded by enemies on all fronts, from the inside out. It was only the military that was keeping the whole country together.

"Enough about politics," Azfar's demeanour took a turn as he smiled a big warm smile at Sadia and took her hand in his. Sadia flinched and tried to release her hand but Azfar kept his grip firm yet gentle.

"Um," she bit her lip and tried to get her hand out of his grip.

"Shall we go home now?" Azfar asked. Sadia immediately nodded and they both left. Sadia kept her gaze outside as they drove by the city lights.

Azfar parked into the porch and switched off the ignition. Before Sadia could leave, he caught her left hand.

"Uh, um," Sadia tried to speak but failed.

"Yes, I know," Azfar chuckled. "I have something I wanted to give you." He looked at Sadia tenderly, his dark ways shinning in the dim lights.

"I wanted to give you something." He said, coming a little close to her. Sadia's blush brightened as she felt sweat rise on her heated skin. Her nervousness grew by each passing second and all she wanted to was to get out of the car. It wasn't appropriate for them to be doing this: at least not for her anyway when she knew that they won't have any future together.

Azfar pulled her chin up and made her look at him in the eyes but Sadia was stubborn and kept her eyes down. She hated making eye contact. Even though her unique eyes were hidden, but she never felt comfortable to look people in the eyes whom she wasn't familiar with. And she was pretty familiar with Azfar; she knew him since childhood but that wasn't the reason she was avoiding absolute eye contact with him.

'He really likes you. If I didn't know any better, I would say that that boy is in love with you..'

Why did you have to say something like that phupho? Now I'll be guilty for hurting him when the reality comes to surface. Sadia thought to herself.

Sadia blushed hard when she noticed the distance between them had narrowed.

His other hand dipped inside his pocket and pulled something out. Sadia waited impatiently.

Her eyes widened and her heart started to pound heavily when she saw him put a ring around her left ring finger.

"I know that we haven't made it official yet. But still, I want the whole world to know that you are mine." He claimed, an edge of possessiveness to his voice, his dark eyes gleaming with seriousness.

"I've always dreamt of us together Sadia. I've never thought of any other woman besides you." He confessed.

Sadia felt as if her heart would explode.

He didn't say it directly but he did just confess his feelings to her.

And Sadia couldn't handle it. She wanted to say so much, reject him and tell him the truth. She wanted to be honest and break down the truth to him but she just couldn't find it in her heart to speak.

Getting out of the car, she saw him leave through the gate as the guards closed the large metal doors. When she was sure that he gone, Sadia ran to her room.

She needed to think. As soon as she stepped inside her room, she retreated to her balcony, a haven she always sought when she needed to think.

As she stood by the railing, she pondered on the events that occurred. She wanted to have a closer look at the ring but decided to gaze at the stars instead.

I wish I could just slap myself so hard, so I could finally muster up some strength. She thought. She hated herself for being so cowardly. She couldn't even buck up the courage to tell a man, who just bared his heart out to her, that she couldn't possibly accept him.

If, in an another time, if they weren't cousins or there was nothing wrong with their genes, she would've chosen and accepted him with an open heart. But she just couldn't. Not if she wanted the future of her offspring to be a healthy one, instead of sickly and diseased like herself. It was a choice she had to make, break family tradition for the greater good. The cycle needed to end.

So, she collected her thoughts and made a decision. She would speak with her father the first chance she gets and the rest, she left in Allah's hands. She sighed. She wanted to take off the ring but as soon as she touched it, she was reminded of Azfar's sweet and honest words.

'.....I've never thought of any other woman besides you.'

"Stupid!" Sadia hissed, stomping her foot on the ground. "Why can't you be a little brave?" She hissed to herself. Feeling exhausted, she sat on a chair and continued to gaze at the stars above, feeling peace and tranquility flood through her as she lay her thoughts to rest.

But unbeknownst to her, someone was already watching her from afar.

He smirked when he focused his binoculars on her face. Earlier, she looked stressed about something but now, she looked relaxed.

"Rest up and gather your strength, little girl," He said in a low murmur, almost as if the passing winds would take this message to her. "And bid your life and family adieu. This may as well be the last time you'll ever get to be with the, Dr. Sadia."

***********