Elena

"What's wrong?" Victor stopped me, grabbing my elbow and I looked at him questioningly. "Enough, my love, not with this attitude towards me" he gently moved my hair behind my ear, making sure to rub the strand between his fingers with an expression as if he was touching Arabian silk. "Nothing, I'm just tired" I sighed and looked ahead at the two women who were walking between the flower alleys, head to head.

"Come here" Viktor led me to a two-seater stone bench, pressed me to sit and crouched in front of my knees. It's strange, somewhat atypical. Everything in my life was spinning at a furious speed, and I somehow did not find the strength in myself to move along with the events. I know everything about Viktor, or at least enough to know that 'beast' is a mild description of him. The news and the internet were abuzz with headlines that my mind could so easily associate with his name that it's scary how I haven't yet run away screaming or resorted to suicide to get out of this marriage.

And yet, to me he is nothing more than gentle and sweet, putting up with all my moods, which lately I myself could not define or name. My confusion towards the man I was marrying in just five days, and everything I was getting from him, everything I knew and was told, complete with my father's attitude, who hardly spoke to me, even avoided being in a room, strained my nerves and drove me crazy. I could hardly sleep, I could hardly eat, because anxiety and fatigue squeezed my stomach to the point where I could barely swallow my morning coffee. If this continues, I'll soon go completely insane, and instead of flowers, I'll have to choose from prescriptions for sedatives.

"Our wedding is in five days" Viktor put his hands on my knees and nodded, I was getting used to his obsession with constantly touching me. Interesting how, if everything I know about him is true, he always has time for me. "I wanted to...I wanted to..." I sighed and rubbed my forehead. I don't know what I want, everything is so confused. I know why I'm marrying Victor Craven, but at the same time, I can't help but notice that I'm attracted to him, the way he treats me, how he somehow seems to keep his soft side just for me. I don't know in what twisted part of my mind, the idea of a real marriage with him began to take shape, maybe because of his words to my father that day, but looking at him crouching in front of me, I don't see the beast in my fairy tale.

"What do you want my love, just say and it's yours?" there it is again, that softness in his voice that made me feel things. I don't know if it's because of our age difference, or maybe because of my inexperience with men, but it's as if Victor came from a different era, a different world, a place where men like him are not afraid to kneel, show tenderness and affection. It's hard for me to believe that a man who barely knows me can call me 'my love' with such warmth and dedication when I know he doesn't really love me, but it only confuses my feelings for him.

Maybe it's because of that kiss? After that, he didn't make another attempt to kiss me, even though it was our third meeting since then, and yet, he kept holding my hand, kissing my palm, my fingers, hugging me, talking to me in this warm way, looking at me like I'm his whole world, calling me 'my love', giving me continuous gifts, as if he has his own printing press for money, promising me one thing or another, as if he could move the earth if I want, but not a kiss again. And I, with all my problems and events, was only thinking about this.

"I thought" I took a deep breath. "Yes?" he tilted his head slightly, looking at me expectantly and I closed my eyes for a moment. After all, he was the one who said that if I had a wish, I had to use words so he could grant it, right? "I was thinking about that day and..." my heart skipped a beat as I opened my eyes and met the gray steel in his gaze. It was as if I were watching molten lead simmer on a fire. "Do you still think about the conversation with your father? Did he say anything to you?" his features sharpened and strained and I waved my hand. "No, no, that's not what I meant" I hastened to assure him, because I can't help but remember how he promised I'd be left without a father.

"You sure?" Viktor asked a little more firmly and I nodded. "Elena, if your father tells you something and you hide it from me, you know I'll be angry, right?" his eyebrows twitched and I nodded. The last thing I want is an angry fiance-probably-murderer hot on my dad's heels. "It's really not that" I tried to smile, but I could feel my cheeks burning, even more so when Victor decided to change the position of his hands and they cupped my cheeks, pulling my face closer to his. "So what is it, my love?" again that warm, driving me crazy, softness.

"Two...things" I stammered and he arched an eyebrow. "Two things? And they are?" his eyebrows shot up again, my heart skipped a beat, and my eyes fell of their own accord to the firm outline of his lips. "Can...can you go out with me and...my girlfriends...who will be at the wedding?" I shot out in one breath and quickly looked up. Viktor sulked for a moment and I thought I had done something wrong, but then he smiled and I almost let out a loud sigh of relief. "Of course, my love, if you want them to get to know me, but I can't promise that I will be as nice to them as I am to you" this made me smile a little, but his next words wiped away the grain of joy. "And what is the second?" he asked, stroking the tip of my nose with his thumb.

I tried to look around to make sure no one was watching us before I told him the second thing, and to muster up my courage because by God I've never wanted anything like this before and I can only hope, that I wouldn't look like an absolute douchebag in his eyes. "The second...it's..." I took a sharp breath and choked on my own gasp. Victor reacted instantly, he jumped up, sat next to me and patted my back, continuing to rub it in circular motions, even when I signaled him to stop.

"God, are you okay?" his concern only made my eyes water more, but I nodded and tried to clear my throat. "Yeah...I'm just...I'm fine" I took a few deep breaths. I'm really an idiot, I'm choking on my own breath, and I wish I had the courage to ask why he didn't try to kiss me again. "Are you sure?" I nodded and sighed. "Elena, I can see for myself that something worries you, if you're not lying to me and it's not your father, is the wedding the reason?" Viktor asked after a short silence and I looked at him.

"No, maybe it would, if I had to organize it myself" I peeked over his shoulder and saw our wedding planner leaning towards some purple flower, making me wrinkle my nose. "The truth is that...that..." arghhhh why can't I just say it? "What?" Viktor urged me, also looking over his shoulder. "Mrs. Glear, limit yourself to roses in different colors!" he shouted, getting the attention of the two women before turning back to me.

Roses? My favorite flowers. This made me smile and gather courage. Not to say the words, but at least to do something. So when Victor looked at me, I cupped his face and pressed my lips to his before I wavered again. I must have caught him off guard, for God's sake, I wasn't ready to do it myself, but my courage grew as his hand slid down my back, the other grabbed my knees and pulled me into his lap, and his lips surely began to move against mine, guiding me.

The feeling came back, that numbness and my mind washing intensified as he cupped my neck and pressed our lips harder, his tongue coming against mine. This time though, I wasn't surprised, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and used them to climb higher on his lap, Viktor grunted, that deep primal moan that crawled up my throat and awakened my complacency. His tongue challenged mine and I slowly began to catch the rhythm of his dancing around mine, but not with the same certainty and yet, I gave this kiss my all.

It was as if time slowed down, if I had stepped on the ground I would probably have been able to feel it spin, feel the gravity that was now pulling me closer to Victor's body and making my hands and lips bolder. I could feel the softness of his hair between my fingers, his taste seeping in and mixing with mine, his tongue guiding me and taking my breath away, making my lungs constrict and steam. One of his hands was around my neck, I could feel his fingers in my hair , his other caressed my thigh, almost lifting the hem of my dress, but not enough to make me feel embarrassed that someone might see more than was appropriate.

I don't know how long this kiss lasted, certainly longer than the one in my father's office and it was definitely far nicer and sweeter, maybe because this time I was participating of my own free will and more, but when Victor pulled away, he grabbed the back of my head and rested his forehead on mine, I sunk discontentedly into the flames of his eyes. "Was that the second one my love, you wanted a kiss?" his voice was rough, deeper than usual and with a slight cutting note that vibrated deep in my stomach. "You...after that one you didn't kiss me again and..." I sighed and closed my eyes, even though it was a stupid attempt to hide something that was clearly easily visible on my flushed face.

"The kiss in your father's office was your first, wasn't it, my love?" I opened my eyes sharply and tried to pull away, but Victor held me with ease. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Elena, I can't and I don't know how to describe exactly what it does to me knowing that my wife will be a virgin on our first wedding night" my face reddened even more and if there was a way to measure up to what speed is my pulse running, it could probably outrun a cheetah right now.

"I...I...thought that..." the words refused to form and come out as sound, only thoughts in my head. "You thought I didn't like it and that's why I don't want to kiss you again?" he asked and I nodded. Can someone die of shame? "Elena, I'm proud that I was your first kiss, I'll be your last, but it's hard for me to control myself around you, my love, and if I'm not careful, I might do something you're not ready for yet, and the last what I want is to scare you out of our marriage bed" I took a sharp breath, realizing what Viktor was saying. Was he restraining himself so as not to frighten me from our impending intimacy?

"So...so you..liked it?" I asked slowly and uncertainly, just to get my questions answered. "More than anything, my love" he assured me with a big smile and finally released my neck. "But I don't want to rush Elena, I want you to be sure before you share my bed, I want you to be sure that you want it. I will never do anything that will hurt you or that you don't want" I smiled slightly and moved away look, because even though I knew why Viktor was looking at me like that, I found it hard to bear the heat in his eyes.

"You want it, Elena?" his question brought my gaze back from the flowers around us to him. "Do I want what?" I asked confused and something on his face, something predatory, made his features even more attractive. "Wanna try something more intimate?" I stared at him in shock and it was as if my nostrils widened to release the steam that had accumulated in my face. "I'm not talking about sex, Elena, although I'd prefer that, but I have something else in mind, something where we'll both be in it, but we won't be alone and it'll still be intimate?" I thought for a moment, but nodded and his smile became even more wolfish.

I clutched the towel tightly to my chest and leaned my forehead against the wooden door of the dressing room, staring at my bare feet. What was I thinking when I agreed to this? I've had a massage before, I go all the time, but a couple's massage? I took another deep breath and stepped on one foot with the other, closing my eyes and starting to chew on my lips, as if that would change the fact that I was about to see a naked man for the first time. Well, semi-naked, I've seen them before on the beach and in the pools, but this one is different, because this was Victor, who I was going to see naked for the first time.

I don't know if I'm ready for this, I don't know if I want this. I opened my eyes and stared at the door, behind which I know Viktor is waiting for me, together with the two masseuses. A man for him and a woman for me. Expressly at Victor's request. "The only man I'll let touch you, Elena, is a doctor, and only if absolutely necessary!" he said when we chose the two massage therapists. Naturally, I wouldn't want my future husband to be touched by another woman either, so we narrowed our choices down to the two oldest and most experienced massage therapists the spa had on hand.

That was crazy! Real and unadulterated, what a girl like me would never knowingly do with a guy she's only known for a week. But so many firsts happened to me that week that a girl like me would never do. I agreed to marry a man I had seen once for about three minutes, I went out on a date with him to accept his marriage proposal and now I was wearing a diamond that could feed the whole of Africa, Victor was my first kiss, the first man, on who I yelled at, that's why he kissed me, I must admit an effective way to shut a woman up, and now I was going to be part of a couples massage? I want to die, but at the same time, my curiosity is eating me like a dung worm.

As if on a breathing apparatus, I took a few deep breaths, grabbed the lock and pushed. The smell of lavender and incense was the first thing I smelled, the heavy air was filled with fragrant fumes, my feet sank into the soft carpet and I took another step, looking up. For a moment, I was disappointed that I didn't meet Victor's gaze, but actually, I couldn't see him anywhere, in the huge room there were only the two massage therapists, who were standing neatly by their respective tables, which confused me a bit.

"Mr. Craven went to talk on the phone, he asked us to wait for him before we start" the masseuse explained to me and I nodded with a smile. That explained his absence, for a moment I thought that either I had taken too long and he had left, or I had just thought that I had spent the last twenty-plus minutes undressing and debating whether or not to run away, but in fact it was a short five minutes or less and Victor hadn't managed to get undressed.

I sat on the massage table next to which my masseuse was standing and waited, swinging my legs. I'm still not convinced it's a good idea, I've never done anything like that and I don't want to say it, but Victor is right, this is probably the most intimate thing I've ever shared with someone, even if it's in the presence of two more in the room and yet, the only ones who were only in underwear would be me and Viktor.

Still, if I survived here, it would bring me closer to my future husband and the experience he has. And considering the way he kissed me, he didn't lack experience. I know this is a marriage to pay my father's debts, maybe I don't have the right to feel what my thoughts are causing me, but I can't help but envy and hate the women who were with Victor before me . The very thought sent poison darts through my heart, and honestly, I've been questioning my sanity lately.

"I was starting to worry you gave up" my head snapped up at Victor's voice. Staring at the floor and thinking, I hadn't heard him come back, but now, all that remained in my mind was 'God, is this my future husband?'. From the times my body has been close to his, or touched him, even just from the way his suit fits, I can't help but assume that Victor is a well-built man, probably in training, but this, this is more than I expected!

He looked even taller now, even in a collar, his neck looked like a pillar, but now I could clearly see the stretched veins, the bulging ropes of his shoulder muscles that continued into defined biceps, dark ink covered both of his arms from the collarbones, all over shoulder down to his knuckles, depicting wings. I had noticed the tattoos, but only from the back of his hands, they looked more like leaves to me, now they made much more sense. His pectorals looked hard and as if under tension, slightly quivering, his stomach looked like a mini chocolate bar and for a second I wondered if this man even had a drop of body fat.

I felt the air getting hotter as I followed the streak of dark hair that was sinking down under the towel tucked around his waist, so I hurried to continue down before I had time to imagine where the streak went. I had seen the statue of Apollo somewhere, maybe on TV, on the internet or a picture, one of those where Apollo looks like an athlete, holding his arms high above his head and flexing his muscles for show. Victor seemed to be sculpted in the likeness of the same statue.

Slowly, Viktor took a step forward and I looked up in shame, a second step and the room seemed to shrink around us. There was a noise in my ears, my head felt light, third step, my heart jumped from the top of my head to my heels and back again, fourth step and it was so hard to breathe. A fifth step and he towered over me, leaving his phone on the table next to me and resting his hands on either side of my hips, bringing himself forward with the move so our noses were almost touching. My throat went dry and I swallowed, unable to look away from his eyes.

Can a man fill a woman's world to the point where everything else disappears? What exactly was going on? What was it about this man to stir everything in me like that, making me think only of him, when in all my twenty-four years, no one else had succeeded? Did I really find him that attractive, or was it the way he spoke to me, his touch, the kisses, or maybe this aura that seemed to dominate everyone else with a flickering alluring darkness that engulfs you and draws you to him with hopelessness and takes away your will to fight?

"Are you ready,my love?" Victor asked softly and I somehow managed to nod. "Good girl, Elena" he smirked and pulled away so abruptly that I rocked forward in an attempt to continue feeling the heat emanating from his body, but he either didn't notice or chose to ignore it, walking around my table. Even if I didn't want to, my head spun on its own and I watched as, with the grace of a wild animal, Viktor lay down on his stomach on the table, put his hands under his cheek and winked at me, indicating with his eyes that I should do the same.

I forced myself to lie down as well, the masseuse approached me, moving Victor's phone a little higher. "Your phone?" I reached to hand it to him but he shook his head. "No one will dare to call me now, hold it" confused, I left the phone where it was and took the same position as him, looking him straight in the eyes. With everything he's done to me, with the way he's played with my feelings and my heart, leaving me his phone, what's that supposed to mean? Is there really no one looking for him, or is it some kind of sign that he trusts me enough if someone calls him to see who it is? Or by showing me his trust, is he trying to win mine? Or is he testing me, will I be more curious and try to dig into his phone?

I shuddered when the massage oil touched my skin and I saw how Victor immediately tensed up. Looking like a man ready to jump, his eyes darted over me, but when I relaxed, feeling the masseuse's hands, he followed suit. Until now, I was sure of only a few things. I was attracted to Viktor, with or without an arranged marriage, he seemed to be attracted to me too, judging by the way his hands could hardly leave me, he was a stunningly amazing kisser, or so I think, even though I have no one to share it with compare, he behaved too patronizingly, protectively and was definitely jealous.

"When do you want to go out with your girlfriends? I'll arrange a restaurant, or maybe you prefer a club?" his question snapped me out of my thoughts and I sulked. "Maybe both, dinner and then dancing?" I suggested and he raised his eyebrows. I suddenly realized that Victor is probably quite a bit older than me, although it doesn't seem like we had a big difference, but I don't know anything about him, I have no idea what he likes, what he doesn't like, and if men his age even go out clubbing.

"I...I'm sorry, you probably don't go out clubbing" I muttered, blushing and his eyebrows shot up. To try to avoid the mockery in his eyes, I shifted my gaze to his masseur's hands, which were moving methodically and confidently over Victor's shoulders and around his neck. "Is that what it looks like? Like I don't go out much?" he asked and I reluctantly forced myself to look at him again. "Well...I...I mean, I don't know...what do men do at your..." I trailed off before blurting out 'age' along with the rest of the crap I'd just spewed and probably embarrassed him.

"How old do you think I am, Elena?" he laughed and I hid my eyes in my hands, exhaling like dying. "Don't do that, my love. Ask and you will be answered" I shook my head but refused to look at him, listening to his laughter. "My job requires me to dress and act like I'm at an age where men only play poker and golf, Elena, I'm actually only six years older than you, and although I haven't been out recently, I assure you that I remember how they danced in the clubs" my shame only deepened, but I peeked one eye in his direction, he looked genuinely amused.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" I muttered, realizing that the two massage therapists were witnessing our conversation and while Victor didn't seem to feel a blow to his self esteem, mine dropped so low it hit freezing point and I don't know how when our massage is over, I will raise my head and look at the two massage therapists, who at the moment were probably mentally laughing at me for not even knowing my fiance's age.

I closed my eyes and hid my face again. "Enough!" Victor's harsh tone startled me and I raised my head opening my mouth ready to apologize again but he didn't look at me at all, instead I saw him send the two massage therapists away, ordering them to inform the front desk that the room would remain occupied until end of the session and to stand up, holding his towel so that none of the three of us could see anything under it.

"Stand up, Elena" he ordered and I obediently got up and dangled my legs from the table with a lowered gaze and pressing the towel to my chest. "Elena" Viktor stood in front of me and lifted my face. "I made a contract with your father, which means that before I signed, I researched him, his business, and his daughter. That's how I know everything about you, from your favorite flower to your age. I don't expect the same from you, my love, no how do you know my age, what I do for a living, what I like and what I don't, so there's no shame in asking" his fingers trailed my cheek and back my neck until he grabbed the rubber band that held my hair for the massage and didn't loosen my hair.

"You have to understand that it's important for me that you feel comfortable with me, I don't want you to be afraid to ask me anything or that there is a taboo topic that you can't talk about with me, my love" Victor moved so that he stood between my knees, enveloping me with the warmth of his body, mixed with the aromatic oils from the massage. "You will be my wife, Elena, the person who will be closest to me, the person to whom I will trust everything, my life, my family, my children, my secrets" he continued and somehow, I felt as if nothing had happened between us until now, has no weight as much as this moment.

"We will have a lifetime to get to know each other, to learn about the other what we don't know yet, that's why I told you, when you want something, put it in words, Elena, I don't read minds, there's no way to know what you want, what you think or feel ,if you don't tell me, there's no way I'm going to give you something, or withhold it from you, if I don't know what it is. There's no way I'm going to trust you, if you don't. Marriage is a two-way street, Elena, I believe that, just as much as I believe there is much more between us than an unpaid debt" he moved closer, his hips parting mine and I placed my hands on his stomach, feeling the muscles tighten at his touch.

"Is that so, Elena? Is there more than an unpaid debt between us?" he asked and I blinked. Are there more? What is it that I'm experiencing right now? Victor took one of my hands and moved it to where I could feel his heart pounding madly in his chest. His skin bristled under my palm. "Tell me Elena, tell me you feel this? Tell me it's not just me and I swear I'll give you everything you've ever dreamed of?" I took a sharp breath and bit my lip, unable to form a sentence. "But if it is not so, if you tell me that to you it is only an obligation, now, this very moment, I swear, I will release you from your promise and our engagement, and you will never hear from me again?" his eyes bore into mine, something dark and possessive danced behind the gray fires, something so deep and primal, something taking my breath away, taking away my will.

"No" I breathed out and as if the answer sounded only in my mind, so I strained my larynx and shook my head. "It's not just you" I tried again and he smiled. "That's my girl" the praise bound my mind and before I knew it my lips were captured in a fervor that lit a fire so strong I felt like I could feel the tongues of passion burning under my skin trying to get out and to burn us both.