"Ollie!" I greet, a fake smile plastered to my face. Through gritted teeth I say, "What are you doing here?"

What I really want to say is, "what the actual fuck are you doing? What the fuck is going on?" But I can't because my family might catch on. In fact, they'd be mortally offended if I spoke to him like that. They would simply die they found out the truth. They'll probably disown me and cut me off if we don't sell this.

Ollie looks at me, all wide eyed and innocent. "Niamh said to meet you here." He holds up a piece of paper, I can just about see our address sprawled on it. "Said to arrive for four-thirty, that you'd need a lift."

Shannon laughs, "Perfect."

Cara grins, "Brilliant."

Ciara frowns, "That's hardly fair."

"Aye." Mum agrees with Ciara.

"Come, Ollie," Cara coos. "Have a seat by me."

Before either of us can protest, dad is pushing him into the seat and taking his jacket off.

"Daddy!" I cry.

"What?" He asks, not hiding his grin as he saunters out the room, Ollie's jacket in hand. Oh, how I would love to be a teenager and throw a complete tantrum right now.

"So," Shannon says, commanding the rooms attention. "Ollie."

This is going to be bad. Really bad. I groan. Loudly.

"Shh." Cara says to me.

I glower at her. "Did you just shush me?"

"Tell us about yourself." Shannon shouts over me and all attention turns to Ollie.

When our eyes meet, I mouth 'sorry' to him. But oddly, he looks amused. Which is almost as bizarre as the last few days have been. He relaxes into his chair and turns his eyes to my eldest sister.

Shannon straightens, her hands stretching out in front of her, fingers entwined. It's like an episode of The Bill. Poor Ollie is going to be interrogated.

Shannon doesn't break eye contact as she speaks. "From what we gather you're from England, from Kent actually. Moved to London after doing a degree and studying at UCL. You're twenty-nine and you met our sister in a coffee shop?"

I gawp at them. "How the bloody hell did you know all that?" I knew mostly none of that.

Shannon ignores me. "We also gather that you're aiming to open your own firm at some point?"

I lean forward in my chair. My sisters are terrifying. "You've gathered an awful lot."

"Truly," Ciara backs me up. "A scary amount."

Shannon barely looks at us. She's like a detective circling her perpetrator, fully expecting a confession to murder any minute. "Needs must."

"Jesus, did you join the FBI?"

Cara rolls her eyes. "The FBI are American, Sinead."

"Hello!" Shannon shouts, causing me to jump and look at her. "Can we please let Oliver answer our questions?"

"Ollie." He corrects.

Shannon looks down at her phone, "You're not Oliver Jack Thompson?"

Ollie shifts in his chair. "No, I am. But I hate being called Oliver."

"Why?"

"Shannon." I hiss.

"Sinead Thompson," Mum says softly, I'd almost forgotten she was there. "Not quite as nice as our name, but it will do."

"Mammy!" I am going to die. I need to die. Death would be a far kinder fate than this.

Shannon looks as serious as I've ever seen her. "Is the information we have correct?"

I laugh, mostly in complete bewilderment. "What is happening?"

"Yes." Ollie shrugs. "I suppose."

Shannon gives a sharp nod. "Any siblings?"

"Five sisters. Olivia, Paige, Penelope, Poppy and Piper."

"Interesting names."

Ollie shoots up an eyebrow. He really is incredibly good looking, even in this setting. His t-shirt is hugging his frame, his hair is styled perfectly, the stubble on his face is highlighting his jawline. He's swoon-worthy. My sisters must notice as well, it would be hard not to.

He has a small smile as he says, "Shannon, Sinead, Cara and Ciara?"

Cara laughs, "Fair point."

Mums all flustered, she seems to have forgotten the food. "I gave those names with love."

Ollie turns to her, "I'm sure you did. They're lovely names."

"Oh!" Mum giggles. She actually giggles. "Isn't he a charmer!"

Isn't this the perfect time for divine intervention? An earthquake? Lighting strike? Power cut? Is my life not a joke enough as it is!

I have to put a stop to this nonsense. I need to grab back control, this isn't funny, this isn't a romance film - this is my life and it's seriously going astray!

Then Shannon's husband walks in, and it could not be worse. Really. Because there's no one I hate more on this planet then Shannon's husband. The man is so far up Shannon's arse they practically form a circle. He wouldn't know what an original thought was if it smacked him in gonads.

"Afternoon, everyone." Owen calls. He stops when he reaches Shannon and kisses her cheek. He greets mum and then he looks at me. "The prodigal runaway has returned, has she? What happened? Run out of money?"

I frown at him, "I see you still act as if my home were yours. I guess bootlicking does get you somewhere."

"Sinead." Shannon warns.

"Oh," I turn to her. "It's fine for you to turn into a off brand Al-Qaeda with my boyfriend, but heaven forbid I match your husbands energy!"

"Boyfriend?" Owen asks, eyes landing on Ollie. "Not this poor fella?"

"Now, everyone. Be civil, please." Mum says, knowing a brawl is brewing.

Everyone hates Owen. Even Cara. Mum pretends she doesn't hate Owen but that's because she thinks it will give her Jesus' blessing to get through the pearly gates. I can bet even Jesus hates Owen, and he's a guy who's meant to love all of God's creatures.

That's exactly what Owen is, a creature.

"Yes." Ollie says, and I can tell he's also taken an instant dislike to Owen. Good. "I'm that fella."

"Poor sod, how'd she manage that?" Then before Ollie can answer he looks at mum. "What times dinner? I'm starving."

"Yes!" Mum squeaks. "Dinner! With all this excitement I completely forgot."

Owen smiles at her, "Better get a move on!"

I glare at Shannon. "Are you really going to let him talk to her like that? Hey, gobshite, she's not your maid."

Owen looks at me, "Of course she's not. She's just the best cook in Ireland."

Then he does the worst thing he can do - he takes the seat next to me. There is nothing worse then having to sit next to someone who smells like arse and armpit, and has the personality to match.

"Sit next to your wife."

"No."

Ollie gets up, and like the true gent he is, he loudly drags his chair all the way over to me, positioning himself between Owen and I. I almost want to stick my tongue out at the nitwit, but I resist.

"So," Owen starts. "Come on Ollie, tell us about yourself."

Bluntly, Ollie says, "What do you want to know? I'm an open book."

Shannon leans in, "Do you have a favourite sister?"

"Piper."

"Do you have savings?"

"Some."

"Any pets?"

"I had a dog. He died." Oh, poor lad.

"Beach holidays or city breaks?"

I don't laugh. "Come on," I implore.

Ollie doesn't blink. "Both."

"Favourite thing about my sister?"

"Her resilience."

"Dinners almost ready!" Mum calls.

There's a pause whilst Shannon assesses us, then she says, "I want you to kiss her."

My whole body turns towards her. "What?"

"You heard me. Kiss."

"No!"

"I had to watch you fawn all over Paddy for years. Kiss him."

My family are catholic. They're prudish. In my head my mum is a virgin, even though she has four daughters. Kissing at the dinner table isn't a thing we do. It's embarrassing and juvenile.

"Just give him a kiss!" Cara demands. "Before Mammy comes back in."

I turn to Ollie, and he gives a shrug. I can see his mouth is turned upwards a little, like he's smiling to himself. It's such a micro expression I'm not sure anyone else can see it. But I can.

All eyes are on us, and I don't know why my family need me to kiss him, what does it even prove? It's weird and creepy and definitely something from' The Hills have Eyes'. But what can I do? Not kiss him? Refuse?

Maybe they know something is up. Maybe they can sense it. I suppose he has appeared out of nowhere. Maybe they believe I've hired him to be my date to the wedding, like that Julia Roberts film.

Was it to be a peck or a kiss kiss? What if he goes in for tongues where I just go for a peck? Maybe if I just shut my brain off and go for it, it won't be so horrendously awkward.

Without much warning at all, Ollie comes at me. I suppose the amount of time I was taking it was getting to be a bit awkward. I angle my face towards him, and as if it's nothing at all, Ollie closes the distance between us. Just like that. As though we're not sat amongst my family.

It's a bit more intense then a friendly peck - his lips firmly pressed against mine, his hand at the base of my neck, steadying me.

It's a nice kiss. A warm kiss. It's not an earth shattering, or an amazing kiss. I don't think. But then why is my heart pounding away in my chest, or butterflies swooping into my stomach?

He deepens the kiss and it's so lovely I want to moan, which is new, I've never had that feeling before. Then I remember where we are, and I start to pull back, but Ollie's head follows mine as if he isn't ready to stop, as if he's eager for more.

Then I blink and we're apart, and he's in front of me, all red cheeked and beautiful. I feel myself blush, embarrassed and pleased. I should look away, address my family, say something witty, but I can't seem to stop staring at the man in front of me.

"Oh, yeah." Ciara says, breaking the bubble. "They are so into each other."

I feel myself go redder. It's got to mean something, that the best kiss I've had is with someone I've just met... right?

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