"No." I'm firm, even though my palms are sweaty and my heart is racing.

"Please," Paddy pleads. "I would really like to talk to you."

Something flashes through me. Courage, bravery, knowing I'm safe due to the proximity of Ollie. My mind reels through all the horrible things Paddy has said, and done, like a carousel.

Even dating Geraldine is a way to punish me. He knows how much I dislike her. He even dislikes her. All I ever did was love him and he made me suffer for that.

"To be perfectly clear, Paddy. I would be quite happy if I never had to talk to you another day in my life."

"You don't understand," He begs. I've never seen him so sad, it almost breaks my resolve.

Almost.

"I don't need to! I don't want to! Whatever is going on with you isn't my responsibility anymore, you made sure of that when you slept with seven other women! Go and talk to your girlfriend. Leave me alone."

I don't wait for him to say anything else. I don't wait for Ollie. I walk around to the passenger side of the car and yank the door open, throwing myself in and slamming it behind me.

It isn't until Ollie pulls off, and I see Paddy stood in the rear view mirror, watching us with pain in his eyes, that I burst into tears.

"You handled it well." Ollie is saying. "I'm proud of you."

I laugh, and then cry some more. Paddy's broken face etched in my skull. "He seemed so sad."

"He did." Ollie nods, putting a reassuring hand on my thigh. "But I don't think any less of you for holding the boundary. Sometimes it's more important to keep your peace then help others."

I'm surprised by how profound his words are. "Who hurt you? Who do you keep your peace from?"

"Ah." He seems to close up, removes his hand, stares straight ahead. "You know the answer to that, my ex. Someday I'll tell you more about it - I think I would have died to make her happy."

A part of me wants to call him out. He's always telling me not to run away, to open up, and here he is, running away - hiding something. But I respect his choice, because I understand when he's ready he'll let me all the way in. It has to be on his terms. Just like I have to be true to mine.

We ride in silence, then we head inside the house together in silence. I fire off a email to my boss and head up to our room, in complete and utter silence. I'm not usually a girl who can handle it, always music or a podcast going but today it's welcome. 

I want to be alone with my thoughts.

I spend an hour trying to sleep. I toss, turn, and worry. I've always been a worrier, mum said I cried for a week when I was eight because I was scared something would happen to her whilst I was at school.

Not much has changed since then.

My mind is too busy to let me relax. Thoughts of work, London, Ollie, and Paddy plague me. I don't even think I'm doing a very good job as a maid of honour - how can I when all my brain space is taken up by men. Teenage me would be disgusted.

I'm about to get up and shower when Ollie appears in the doorway, his laptop in hand, worry etched on his face. "I have a problem."

"Is it that we are in a fake relationship and soon your family will be here and I will have to charm them into believing I'm worthy of the amazing man in their life? Because, if so, same."

He gives me a blank look. "No."

I laugh. "What's your problem?"

"I haven't actually planned the stag."

"The bachelor party? The men's only one? The one happening tomorrow?"

He lets out a slow, "Yeah."

He's joking. He's got to be joking. He can't be that unorganised. The first thing I did was book Niamh's hen. A champagne filled spa day, dinner and drinks in the evening. Boom. Sorted.

"Well, what have you booked?"

He runs a hand through his perfect hair, "Nothing."

"No, seriously. You must have something booked?"

He shakes his head and comes to sit on the bed. "I thought the joint one tonight was the stag."

"Oh. Okay. Well. Okay."

"What am I going to do?"

I reel, and wrack my brain as hard as I can. We're in Ireland. They're men, they just want booze and a good time. What does Ireland do best? Alcohol. Beer. Pubs.

Then it comes to me.

"Here's what we do." I sit up straight and Ollie mimics me. His eyes alight with hope. "Tomorrow, in the morning, we go to a fancy dress shop and get Dan the most outrageous outfit."

"Should I be writing this down?"

"No." I look at him, despite his law degree, smarts and wits, he looks so lost. "Yes. Yes, absolutely write it down."

He settles on the pillow, laptop poised, a face so serious it would be funny if this wasn't so tragic. How can you be best man and fail at the one thing most expected?

I continue, "Have you played pub golf?"

"Yes."

"Perfect. You're gong to book taxi's to come for two p.m, they're going to take you to Kilkenny where you're going to play pub golf. Before you leave for the day you need to make sure you pre-book taxi's for eleven, to pick you up from Lenehans. That's the last stop, the pub you should make your way to."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"No strip clubs?"

I look at him. "Do you want to go to a strip club?"

"Not really."

"Good. 'Cos there isn't one."

"If I'd known it was that easy I would have done it myself."

I swat him. "How can you not have booked a bachelor party?"

He shrugs, looking suitably ashamed. "I thought tonight was it."

"Terrible." I scold, but I'm smiling.

Ollie is smiling too, it makes me feel hot, like I've been put in a furnace. His presence seems to do the strangest things to my body, even mundane things he does sets me on fire.

He clears his throat and breaks eye contact, "Do you want me to let you get ready for tonight? We'll have to leave in a few hours"

"Is Niamh back yet?"

"No."

I grin. "Then I have time."

I pull him in, laughing at his surprise and ecstatic to have his lips touch mine. I moan as his hands work their way all over my body. When it starts to get too hot, too intense, I pull away.

"You are too good at that." He says, watching me slither off the bed with lustful eyes.

"So are you." I laugh, heading to the bathroom.

Tonight is a good night. I'll have Niamh and Ollie by my side, what more could I want?

-
Words: 1127
Total: 22,551