"As you all know, your independent study projects are due in June. You are expected to give a presentation to your fellow students, teachers and parents. These projects are a huge part of your overall grade for the year, so I expect you to take them seriously," Mrs Clarington said.

Katie and Jo had shown me to my classroom after breakfast and I had chosen a desk in the second row. The room itself was far bigger than any room at my last school, with a large chalkboard across the front wall and several large windows that lit up the room in the rising morning sun. Mrs Clarington stood at the front of the room; her desk sat to one side but at an angle so she could face the rows of desks. A large ruler leant against the side of her desk, but it looked like no one had touched it in a while.

Mrs Clarington was a tall, stern-looking woman with a pointy nose, staring eyes and glasses that rested on the edge of her nose. She wore her hair in a tight bun at the nape of her neck as well as a white blouse and dark red pencil skirt. She seemed to like pacing as she spoke, her heels snapping against the floor with each step.

"The library is at your disposal, and you have one free lesson a week for independent study. Do not waste your independent study period, it is paramount that you put as much time and effort into your project as possible. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Mrs Clarington," we echoed.

"Very well. Take out your books and begin copying from the board."

I reached across my desk and grabbed the green composition book I had bought. The room became filled with the sound of pens scratching against the paper and I hadn't even unscrewed the lid to my ink bottle. Mrs Clarington watched me from the front of the room, her eyes following my hands as I unscrewed the ink, dipped the pen into the pot and started to copy what she had been writing when I came in.

Ever since I could remember, I hated being forced to simply copy something off the board or out of a book. Dad had taught me that copying from someone else would never be a good way to develop academically and he always encouraged me to find my own ways of learning. He had always been one of my biggest supporters when it came to my schoolwork. I always enjoyed reading from a book aloud in the most ridiculous voice I could think of. The voice would always stay in my head, and so did the fact.

That and I had a good memory. I just hated having to copy everything down; it felt so monotonous and dull that my attention often wandered into something a little more interesting. I had once spent ten minutes watching two squirrels fight in a tree because it was far more interesting than the work we were being told to do in class. Unfortunately, it was still winter and there were no squirrels fighting in trees to keep me occupied.

Mrs Clarington placed a piece of chalk under the chalkboard and approached me. I could hear her shoes slapping against the wooden floor and in only a few steps her shadow loomed over me. Not knowing what to do, I placed the pen on top of the book and looked up.

"I just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing for your project. You're coming into this later than everyone else so haven't had as much time to prepare as the other students. They have also done this before, you have not."

"Yes. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm doing. The letter that was sent was very helpful."

"Good. You are probably aware that this project counts for more of your final grade than anyone else here. It will determine whether you continue here next year so it is of the utmost importance that you do well. If you need any extra time and you have completed the work in my class, I am more than happy to send you off to the library for an hour. "

"I think I'll be fine, Mrs Clarington."

"What is your idea? I may be able to point you in the right direction when it comes to your library searches."

"I think I can manage, Mrs Clarington. I'd rather do it on my own. Thank you for the offer, though."

"Very well."

She nodded her head towards me and returned to the front of the room, taking a seat at her desk. Although I did appreciate the offer, I preferred to do the work on my own and the time between receiving the letter about the presentation and the start of the new term had been enough for me to gather what I needed and start to prepare the notes for the project. I would rather do the whole thing on my own than accept help, it was supposed to be independent and I intended to stick to that.

I turned my attention back to my book and the writing I was supposed to be copying from the board. From behind me, I could feel someone looking at me and glancing over my shoulder caused me to make direct eye contact with Victoria who just glared at me before she went back to her work. I didn't know what her problem was, and frankly, I didn't care all that much.

When the lessons ended, Mrs Clarington dismissed us with a warning of a spelling test next lesson and a reminder of which words we needed to know, even if not all of them would appear in the test. I joined the rest of the class, and we shuffled from the classroom, out onto the grounds and around the back of the building to a large stone square that housed the swimming pool.

The building was surrounded by a concrete path. I could gear the sound of running water from inside as we walked up the path. One of the girls pushed open the door, and I followed them inside, through a side door and then into a large changing room. The other girls placed their school bags on pegs and then started to pull out towels and swimming costumes from their kit bags. I stood there and did nothing.

I pulled my bag further up my shoulder and stepped back into the entranceway, looking around for someone other than a student.

"Felicity Grieves, yes?" Someone said from behind me.

"Yes," I said, turning around and coming face-to-face with a woman who had jet-black hair, cut short and wore a light green sports skirt and a white polo shirt with the Maddox Academy logo on it.

"I'm Mrs Leverton, your sports teacher. May I ask why you are here and not in the changing room?"

"I don't have a swimming costume, and I can't actually swim."

"Swimming costumes were on the requirement list; I'm sure you know that."

"We couldn't afford one, and it didn't say they were required. We just thought it was a suggestion."

I knotted my fingers together. When we had seen the swimming costume on the uniform list, there was nothing to suggest it was a requirement. Perhaps I should have known better. Private schools were unlikely to do something like a game of football for their sport lessons and swimming must have been their replacement. Still, they should have been more specific. It would have saved me a little embarrassment.

"Right. Unfortunately, you cannot take part in this lesson without a costume. Katie and Jo both informed me of your run this morning so you may count that as your spot lesson for today. However, I will need to discuss the situation with Mrs Maddox and decide the best way to handle this situation."

She scribbled something down on a sheet of paper on her clipboard and handed it to me, pulling a face as though she wasn't all that happy with me.

"You may go to the common room and do some schoolwork."

"Thank you." I paused. "I don't know where the common room is."

"Up the main staircase, to the left. There is a sign on the door."

"Alright, thank you."

"I took the piece of paper just as the other girls came out of the changing room in their costumes with a towel wrapped around them and a swimming cap on. They watched me fold the piece of paper, tuck it into the front pocket of my blazer and head back out of the door and onto the grounds.

A few spots of rain started to fall, and I gripped my bag strap tighter, running across the grounds to keep from getting wet as the rain grew heavier. I made it to the front door just as the cloud above me burst and a torrent of water came crashing down onto the gravel. For a few seconds, I stood on the steps and watched the rain before pushing open the door and stepping into the warmth of the main school.

The school was silent, and I walked up the main staircase and down the hall, away from Mrs Maddox's office. I passed several classrooms with students crowded inside, running my hand along the wall as I went. When I reached the end of the hall, a sign across one of the doors read 'Common Room'.

I pushed open the door and stepped inside. The room had been painted a light yellow colour but the wood flooring that ran through the school remained, having been partially covered by a cream coloured rug. There were three leather sofas on the rug and an oak piano in the far corner. Someone had switched the light on due to the darkness bought on by the cloud. Rain rattled against the window.

Amongst the group of people in the room, I spotted Katie on one of the sofas beside Jo. They both had their heads in their books and Katie appeared to be muttering to herself as she read through it. Her eyebrows were knitted together in both confusion and concentration and she paused every now and then before looking up. She had pulled her hair off her face with a hairband since I had last seen her.

"Flick? I thought you had sports?" Katie said, pushing herself off the sofa to join me.

"I did, but it's swimming and I can't swim. Mrs Leverton said I could work in here. I can go to the dormitory instead."

"No, you're fine. The fifth years have their free period so we're all in here until the bell. You're welcome to join us." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Come on."

She led me over to the sofa she had just vacated, and I sat beside her, resting my bag on the floor. Katie turned to the notes beside her and started to rummage through them. I looked around at the other fifth years who were sprawled across the room. Some sat on the other sofas, a couple were sitting or lying on the floor surrounded by books. One of them had taken to rocking in the corner.

From my bag, I pulled out the list of words we had to learn for the spelling test. My eyes ran over them a few times before my mind started to wander and I shoved them back into my bag, pulling out the Roman Empire book I had stuffed in there for my break. I pulled the book open to a random page and started to read.

A low hum of conversation filled the room and I filtered it out to focus on the words on the page. The rain lashed against the glass outside. At my old school, we had never had the space to gather and do work outside of the designated classroom. I would usually be the last one to leave so I could borrow one of the few books we had to complete my homework. Just being in a room with other people as I tried to work felt a little unusual.

"Have any of you managed to remember which Greek philosopher is which? I can't remember which one lived in a barrel. Was it Plato or Pythagoras?" Katie asked, throwing the question to the room.

"Neither. It was Diogenes. He didn't believe in material possessions so moved into a barrel," I said. The room fell silent and I glanced up from the book to see all eyes on me. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. How do you know that?" she asked.

"I read it in a book once. That and my brother likes to throw random history questions at me, so I've gotten rather good at pulling history facts out of thin air."

"You're a fourth year, right?" one of the other girls asked.

"Mm-hm."

Someone whistled.

"No wonder you passed the exams; we don't do Greek history until fifth year and you already know more than us."

I wished I hadn't said anything. At my last school, I had always been the go-to person when it came to helping with homework or general schoolwork. I didn't mind all that much, it felt nice to be useful, but I didn't want to be labelled as the smart one again. Michael had trained me to answer questions the moment they were asked regardless of whether they were directed towards me or not and I resented him for that. Had he not, I never would have said anything.

The room fell silent, the rain outside continuing to hammer against the glass. I could see the dark clouds through the window and the small slither of light that managed to break through the clouds. I always found the rain to be calming when I struggled to get through a difficult question or decipher a fact in a book.

"Reckon you can help me out with these questions? I'm clueless." Katie showed me a list of written questions.

"I can try."

"You would be a lifesaver."

Katie smiled at me. The smile stretched to her eyes and they seemed to sparkle slightly. She shifted her weight and balanced the paper between us along with a textbook. I had hoped that Katie and I could be friends after how she had offered to help me out that morning. Perhaps I had jumped the gun a little too soon and once again my intellect became more important than anything else.

Still, I hoped that that would change as time went on. Maybe I had found at least one person who would help make the term a little more bearable.

~~~

First Published - June 5th, 2020