My heart and head continued to battle with neither coming out on top.

One told me that my feelings for Katie were valid, that I had every right to feel them regardless of what everyone else may have thought. The other told me it was wrong, in more ways than one. They spend the days arguing with one another in mind, getting stuck in a twisted tornado that would take longer to blow itself out then it took to form. I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted my head to clear long enough to figure out what it all meant and where I went from here.

I didn't think growing up would be so complicated.

"Felicity? Are you alright over there?" Mrs Clarington asked. I lifted my head from the desk and looked at her, realising I had been staring into space for five minutes and spinning the bracelet around my wrist.

"Erm, yes. I was away with the fairies," I said.

"Do you need any help with your project?"

"I think I'm good. I'm close to the end now."

"Really? You have two weeks to go, are you sure you're close to finishing?"

"Uh-huh?"

Mrs Clarington raised an eyebrow at me and went back to the work on the desk in front of her. She had given us permission to work on our projects during the lesson since we were only two weeks away and none of us could focus on Romeo and Juliet. I turned back to the paper on my desk, lightly tapping my pencil on the paper as I read over the speech I had prepared. Although it still contained a lot of facts, at least it was five minutes and a little more coherent than before. Katie said she would look over it for me.

I peered over my shoulder, catching Victoria's eye as she glared at me across the room. She had ink smeared across her chin and a lot of balls of paper on her desk and on the floor in front of her. Victoria wasn't ready for the presentations and it could work in my favour if she happened to be as unprepared as she seemed. Somehow, she had a way of pretending to be underprepared for something, but she was ahead of us all.

With her, every appearance was a deception. She also hadn't said anything more on her threats from the previous days. Which worried me.

The end of lesson bell rang, and the class broke out into noise as everyone packed up. I stuffed my notes into my bag and swung it up on my shoulder, following Emma from the classroom and into the hall. Katie stood outside, her back pressed into the wall, looking at her nails with one foot against the wall and the other still on the ground. Since our conversation the other week, Katie had been waiting outside all my lessons to make sure Victoria couldn't touch me. It was a little like having my own personal police officer.

Or a stalker.

"You take ages to pack up," she said.

"And you seem to fun from your own class to mine. How do you get here so fast?"

"I have my secrets. You're in sport now, right?"

"Yes. Are you not joining us this week?"

"We are. We're not supposed to, but we managed to wrangle it with Mrs Leverton. It beats studying, anyway," she shrugged.

"Your exams are in two weeks; you should be studying."

"Shh, don't ruin this for me."

She smiled at me and swung her kit bag over her shoulder, mine was already in the changing room. I thought it would save time if I put it in there after my run. It did. Everyone else had to rush back to the dormitory to get their kit bags or lug them around with their school bag. Katie and I just casually strolled down to the changing room without the need to make a stop along the way.

Katie and I changed into our sport kit, the same white monogrammed blouse and a black skirt, before handing out onto the grounds. Despite the countless Lacrosse lessons, I was no closer to figuring out the intricacies of the game and tended to stand on the side during the lesson or not taking part at all. It was something that would forever remain a mystery that I couldn't solve.

We went straight into a game, with me standing as far out of the way as possible. That had become easier since the incident with Victoria that had led to my bruised wrist. Mrs Leverton didn't want me to do something worse than a bruise so even she agreed it would be best for me to stand on the side and watch. With Katie and Jo taking part in coaching rather than the game itself, I could have a conversation with them rather than focus on the game. It was a good deal as far as I was concerned.

"How can you be so good at everything else, but so bad at sport?" Jo asked, spinning her Lacrosse stick against the ground.

"I have no coordination, I never have. At my old school, we did running since we just had concrete. Mum said that I started running before walking. I would tip over if I tried to walk."

"I would have paid money to see that. It sounds hilarious," Katie said.

"It probably was."

"Girls! Pay attention!"

We turned our attention back to the game unfolding on the pitch in front of us. Emma tried to run the length of the pitch with the ball but ended up having to pass it to Barbara, but it was quickly intercepted by Dorothy who flicked the ball to Victoria who was closest to the goal. Victoria looked smug as she took a few steps closer to the goal and hurled the ball at Rose, who had been put in goal despite her being reluctant to do so. She moved to the left slightly and blocked the goal, wiping the smug look off Victoria's face.

The game continued with neither team scoring a goal. Victoria ended up getting increasingly frustrated at her lack of scoring ability as Rose managed to block every single shot aimed at her with a simple move of her leg or arm. Mrs Leverton tried to shout out encouragement towards her, almost ordering her to try again even though she kept failing at her task. It was quite fun to see her flustered for the second lesson in a row. Katie nudged me in the side and giggled, pointing to Victoria who pulled a face when the final whistle blew and neither team had scored.

After the lesson, we returned to the changing room to change back into our uniform for break. I stuffed my kit back in my bag, deciding it didn't need to go to the laundry is I just stood on the side and didn't play. Mrs Leverton had suggested I wear it rather than my running clothes but running in anything other than shorts was uncomfortable and a tad weird. Once we'd changed, the end of lesson bell rang and Katie, Jo and I walked back through the halls and in search of something to do for the twenty minutes we had before lessons started again.

Twenty minutes hardly seemed like enough time to do anything, so we convened outside Miss Collins' classroom since we had history next. Monday was the only day I had two lessons with Katie and Jo as they had history and sewing back-to-back. We sat on the floor of the hallway, Katie and me on one side and Jo on the other, rooting through her bag and pulling out a slightly bruised apple.

"I have to ask, or it'll bug me. The scar on your back, just under your shoulder blade, where did it come from?" Katie asked.

"Oh, that was from the second bicycle related incident, I think. It was either the first or the second, I'm not sure." I shrugged.

"Right. It's been bugging me for a while. I have a scar that looks like a giraffe."

"A giraffe?"

"Yes. It's got four legs, a long neck, the works." Katie laughed. Across from us, Jo rolled her eyes and bit into her apple.

"How are you getting on with your presentation?" Jo asked.

"Getting there. Just need to tighten up my speech and I should be set."

"Next step, memorise the thing. You get more points if you don't have a sheet of paper in front of you."

"That'll be easy for you," Katie said.

We lapsed into silence with Jo eating her apple down to the core and disappearing down to the kitchen to dispose of it in the compost bin. She returned just in time for the end of break bell to ring and students to start making their way to their next lesson. I stood up, stretched my back out, and swung my bag onto my shoulder. When the rest of the fifth years arrived, we were ushered into the room by Miss Collins to venture further into Egyptian history.

Miss Collins announced we had moved on from Cleopatra and started to look at King Tut and the discovery of his tomb in 1922 by Howard Carter. I always found the intricacies put into Egyptian burials, especially those of their King's, fascinating. The building of the pyramids was one thing, but the length they went to in order to preserve their leader and send them into the afterlife with everything they needed was something else. It certainly seemed like an impressive way to be buried, were it not for the grave robbers and potential curses that came with their tombs.

The lesson ended and we moved onto sewing, discovering that Miss Feldman had returned from her trip to Poland and was back to her usual self. She commented on my failed attempt to embroider a flower and watched everyone working on the tapestry as closely as possible. She wanted it done before the end of term, but it didn't seem to be going that way as she still had a long way to go before it was finished.

By the time the end of day bell rang, my energy levels had risen, and I couldn't stop fidgeting in my last lesson of Mathematics.

I didn't want to go to the common room and work on the project, my energy levels were far too high for that and I probably would have over-complicated it had I been left alone with the speech any longer. I needed to get rid of the energy that had been built up throughout the day. I needed to go for another run.

"Another run? Why?" Jo asked, flicking through a textbook.

"Too much energy. If I go anywhere near my presentation, I'll ruin it. It's either that or I sit here tapping my pencil and annoy you both."

"I'll come with you. I'm going insane looking at the same three pages in this book." Katie slammed the textbook shut and rubbed her fists against her eyes.

"Have fun. I'm really far behind on studying because of choir practice. If I don't get up to speed with it, I'll stand no chance of passing."

"We won't be gone too long; I can help you with whatever you're working on afterwards," I said.

"That would be great. I can't wrap my head around the anatomy stuff for science."

"Anatomy. Got it. See you in a little while."

I swung my bag onto my shoulder and Katie and I left the common room and headed towards the dormitory. Dorothy, Louise and Victoria were the only ones in there, sitting in the middle of the floor with their heads together in intense conversation. Victoria looked up when we entered, glared at me and then went back to her conversation. I ignored her and threw my bag into my trunk.

After changing into a pair of shorts and a blouse, we skirted around the group in the middle of the floor and left the dormitory. I didn't know exactly what Katie planned on doing when I did my run, but it felt a little better than not having anyone with me. We went out to the grounds where several students were working in the sun or just sitting for a brief period of respite before their study session in the evening. With so many people around, Katie and I headed down to the Lacrosse pitch which was empty and gave me enough space to run around for ten minutes to get rid of the energy.

Katie stood on the side of the pitch as I stretched my legs and arms out before starting to run across the pitch at a slow enough pace that I could sprint for about five minutes. Due to the head, I was coated in sweat even from the slow place and I knew that by the time I was finished, I would have sweat dripping down my face and could probably have rung my clothes out if I wanted to. When I was warm enough, I took the length of the pitch as fast as I could, pelting backwards and forwards across the length of the pitch until I had a stitch.

"I think that's enough," Katie called from the edge of the pitch. She had taken a seat and started to knot daisies together to keep herself busy.

"Really?" I yelled back.

"Yes. You look like a plum."

I laughed and pushed some loose strands of hair from my face. My side ached and I walked back across the pitch to join Katie. She looked at me and quickly turned away to keep from laughing, resulting in me shoving her lightly before we both started back to the dormitory.

"Feel better?"

"Definitely."

"What was on your mind, anyway? You only run for two reasons. To get rid of energy, or if there is something on your mind."

You.

"Nothing really, just pre-presentation jitters two weeks in advance. Maybe it's a sign that I won't have jitters on the day of the presentation itself."

"We can hope. I'm sure you'll be fine, though."

"Time will tell."

Together, we walked back across the grounds and up the steps into a building. A few people looked at and giggled, no doubt surprised that someone would willingly walk around resembling a fruit. I didn't mind. I was just glad my head was clear, and I could help Jo with her study without my mind immediately going to Katie. At least it gave me a little more time to process and deal with my own thoughts and understand them a little better.

We took the stairs slowly, my legs feeling as though they had turned to jelly from the run. Katie thought the whole thing to be hilarious, but she still walked beside me up the main stairs and then up the twisting dormitory stairs as well. I pushed open the door to the dormitory, Victoria, Dorothy and Louise nowhere to be seen. Something, however, was wrong.

My bag, which I knew I had thrown into my trunk, was on my bed. My history books were scattered across the bed, as were most of my lesson notes. I exchanged a look towards Katie and approached my bed, sitting on the edge of it. Someone had gone through it. I started to root around inside it, pulling out pieces of paper that were still inside.

One thing wasn't there.

"What is it?" Katie asked.

"My project notes, they're not here."

~~~

First Published - August 2nd, 2020