Katie and I spent the next two weeks with each other.

Every free moment we had were spent studying for our exams or going through the countless pile of notes to narrow my project down a little. Sometimes Jo would join us, other times she went to the library with Grace or to the choir practice to rehearse for the village fair performance. She didn't seem mad that I spent so much time with Katie, in fact, she was the one who suggested it.

Although I liked spending time with Jo, I preferred the days when we were on our own. When Katie and I sat shoulder to shoulder without feeling the need to talk to one another and just work through our books and notes. We only spoke if it were necessary, with Katie asking questions about the work and me occasionally commenting on my note pile getting bigger. I wanted to have my final idea narrowed down before Parents Day, but that didn't seem possible.

The day before the exams, the three of us had decided not to study. We had been told by our teachers that we needed a good night's sleep, but even that seemed unlikely. Instead, I had joined the rest of the fifth years in their dormitory for a collective boardgame marathon. Some had decided to stick to checkers or chess, but a group of us had gathered to play Monopoly on the floor in the centre of the room. Katie and I sat side by side, our money spread out in front of us and the other players dotted around the board.

"I don't get how you've ended up with so much money!" Katie exclaimed, passing me the last few notes she possessed as payment for landing on one of my properties.

"Michael reckons I cheat, but I don't. I've just played this a lot," I said, sorting the money into a pile.

"Well, I'm out of the game and you have bankrupted everyone but Betty who only has about three notes left."

"Maybe our family game nights weren't such a bad thing after all." I laughed, watching Betty roll the dice and land on one of my properties, handing over her money and ended the game quicker than she thought.

"Does no one else find it odd that the only one amongst us who can't afford to be here is Betty at managing money then we are? No?" Betty looked around the room. "Next time, I'm playing chess."

"Don't play against Flick, she'll win." Katie bumped into my side and smiled at me.

She helped me pack the board up, tucking the money into the box alongside the small pieces that came with it. We left it in the middle of the room for someone to take back to the common room, although I didn't think that would happen. I stood up and followed Katie to her bed where she rooted around inside the drawer under her nightstand and threw a chocolate bar at me. We were expected to hand all confectionary over to our dormitory mother, but none of us did. We just hid it.

I peeled the wrapper off and bit into it, swinging my right leg onto the bed. Katie slumped back against the pillows of her own bed and took a massive bite from her bar. Small pieces of chocolate crumbled off the bar and onto the bed, causing Katie to grin sheepishly and lightly brush them off the bed and onto the floor. One thing I loved about the fifth-year dormitory was that there was no need for cleanliness and their things were just strewn about the room. Victoria loved cleanliness.

Katie lightly knocked her foot against my knee and smiled. She finished her chocolate bar, balled up the wrapped and then tried to throw it in the bin on the other side of the room, missing horribly. I turned my head towards her nightstand, my eyes drawn to the photograph that took centre place. A pressed flower had been leant up against the side of the frame and the top of the nightstand was the only clean place in the entire room.

"You'll give us away if you leave that there," Betty said from the bed opposite Katie's. She picked up the chocolate bar wrapper and dropped it into the bin beside her bed.

"Not anymore! Besides, Miss Collins doesn't care. She caught me eating a bag of marshmallows once and just asked for one," Katie said, laughing.

"She might be, but if we get our inspection from Miss Jones, we'll all be in trouble."

"Truth. You might want to finish that, Flick, or I can finish it for you."

"I don't think so."

I shoved the rest of the chocolate bar into my mouth, not really caring that I looked like a slob. After balling the wrapper up, I shoved it into my pocket to dispose of later and by dispose of, drop in my trunk and forget about it. Most of what I didn't need ended up in my trunk and I only remember it once I started to root around in search of some fresh paper or inkpot. I once found a bag of uneaten fudge at the bottom on my bag, although it had moulded into one. Katie ate it.

The two of us sat in silence whilst the other girls finished up their games of chess and checkers and started to pack them away. I looked at Katie in the glow of the electric lights that filled the room and based it in a warm glow. She was sat directly under the light bulb giving her the appearance of having a halo in the late evening. Katie had pushed her hair off her face with a band, but small wispy pieces had escaped the band and curled around her forehead. I bit back a smile.

"Come on girls, it's almost time for lights out," Miss Collins said, opening the door. Her eyes scanned the room until she found me sitting with Katie. "You too, Felicity. Miss Jones will be in the fourth-year dormitory soon and you don't want to be late."

"Alright."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Flick," Katie said, smiling slightly.

I nodded and swung my leg off the side, shuffling off the bed and brushing the bottom of my school dress to rid it of any chocolate crumbs. Miss Collins smiled at me as I walked past and back out into the main school, walking down the stairs to the first floor and along the hallway up to my own dormitory. The soft hum of voices within travelled through the closed door and I pushed it open.

Victoria watched me walk the length of the room and down to my own bed, pulling the ribbon from my hair and undoing the plait. My hair fell in loose waves around my shoulder, but I ran a brush through it and tied it at the nape of my neck to keep it off my face whilst I slept. I could feel her eyes on me as I walked to the bathroom with my pyjamas tucked under my arm, slipped inside and changed.

A clock tower in the distance chimed as I threw my dress onto the top of my trunk and climbed beneath the blankets. I pulled them up to my chin, grabbed the book from my nightstand and turned to the bookmark. The other girls continued to talk, most discussing their feelings towards the morning's exams, but I ignored them and buried myself in the words on the page rather than what was going on around me.

Miss Jones pushed open the door and stepped inside, walking the length of the room before standing in front of the windows and turning to face the entire dormitory.

"Lights out, girls! Your examinations start early tomorrow morning and it is imperative that you all get a good night's rest so you can be focused during this time," she said.

"I'm too nervous to sleep," Louise muttered.

"Well, you can try. Come on, bed."

I closed the book, placing it on my nightstand and burying myself further beneath my blankets. Miss Jones walked back along the line of beds to the light switch and turned it off the moment all the girls were in bed. Despite the lights being off and the instructions given, the moment Miss Jones walked away, the other girls climbed from their beds and a small discussion broke out amongst them.

Almost everyone seemed too nervous to sleep, but I tried to block the conversations out and pulled the blanket over my head. Even with the conversations unfolding around me and the sound of a crow outside the bedroom window, it didn't take too long to drift off to sleep. Mum once said I could sleep through an earthquake; I was out before I even hit the pillow sometimes.

It felt as though I had just fallen asleep when the sound of someone reciting the names of Henry the Eight's wives woke me up. Across the room, Dorothy sat cross-legged on her own bed with a book in front of her, muttering to herself. No one else appeared to have been disturbed by her. I wiped my eyes, pushed the blanket off my legs and grabbed my running stuff from my trunk. Even with the exam only a few hours away, I needed the run. I didn't want to spend the exam tapping my nails on the desk.

Dorothy barely looked up from her book when I passed her bed, changing into my running clothes and returning my pyjamas to under my pillow. I slipped my shoes on and left the room, jogging down the stairs and out onto the grounds. Lacrosse practise had been cancelled for the week and I didn't expect Katie and Jo to join me, both had decided to do some additional studying when they had woken up.

The sun had just started to rise above the trees, the entire sky painted a warm pink in the early morning light. Few clouds moved across the sky and although there was a slight chill carried on the breeze, the sunlight helped warm me. I stayed in front of the main steps, running back and forth between several trees until I had to stop to catch my breath. Small beads of sweat travelled down my face and I wiped my forehead on the collar of my blouse.

"Felicity! You should come inside and get dressed, the breakfast bell is about to ring," Miss Jones said from the front steps.

"Coming!" I replied, pushing a few strands of hair off my face.

I crossed the grass to join her on the steps, following her back into the school and up the steps towards the dormitory.

"Are you ready for today's examinations?" she asked.

"I think so. The run helped to clear my head. As my dad would say, I can only do my best."

"That's a good philosophy to have. I don't doubt you'll do well; you were able to pass the entrance examinations and those are next to impossible."

"We'll see."

I didn't feel nervous in the usual sense – that I would fail the exams. I was more nervous about not living up to the expectations and standards everyone expected. After passing the entrance exams, anything less than perfection on the March exams would probably end up in me being kicked out.

Miss Jones pushed open the door to the dormitory and gestured me inside. Most of the girls were already awake, sitting at the foot of their beds or against the pillows with a book propped open in front of them, muttering to themselves. I walked the length of the beds and grabbed my school dress from inside my trunk. After changing in the bathroom and wiping a damp cloth over my face to remove the swear, I returned to the room and dropped my running clothes into the laundry basket.

The rest of the girls were woken, and Miss Jones instructed those already awake to hurry up and change before the bell rang. I put a new bottle of ink into my bag, just in case I ran out during the exam and closed the top of the trunk. Some of the girls started to shuffle their way into the bathroom to change whilst I swung my bag on my shoulder, walked the length of the room and out the door into the main school.

Girls moved along the halls, almost all of them carried books and were reading to themselves as they walked. The air felt tense, heavy as I moved into the dining hall, seeking out Jo and Katie who were bent over a book. I dropped my bag onto the seat opposite and climbed in, pouring myself a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. The last thing I wanted was my stomach grumbling in the middle of the exam and disturbing everyone else.

Katie had different ideas. She had pushed aside a plate of toast with the smallest bites taken from the corner. Jo didn't even have anything in front of her.

"How can you eat?" Jo asked, watching me spoon cereal into my mouth.

"It's either I eat, or my stomach grumbles in the middle of the exam." I shrugged.

"I don't think I could stomach food. That bite of toast tasted like carboard and my entire mind has gone blank. I can't remember anything." Katie dug her elbows into her knees and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Reading through the book won't help you. Just take a deep breath and you'll be fine. You're only getting yourself worked up by trying to study now anyway," I said.

"That's easy for you to say! You've got a super-brain, not all of us have great memories like you."

I dropped my head and poked the spoon around the cereal. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Jo nudge Katie in the side, but she didn't say anything. We finished over the breakfast period in silken with me eating and the two of them reading the book over and over again. Almost everyone in the dining hall had the same idea and barely anyone ate a thing, they were all too focused on the book in front of them.

When the end of breakfast bell rant, Mrs Maddox appeared in the doorway to address the students.

"Please make your way to your first examination room. You know the rules of these exams. You may only take a pen and ink into your classrooms and there is to be no talking. Off you go."

Nobody spoke. Instead, everyone moved silently towards the door and in the direction of their exam rooms. I left Katie and Jo at the bottom of the stairs and headed up towards my English classroom, lining up outside with the rest of the girls until Mrs Clarington called us in. We took our seats and I pulled my pen and ink from my bag.

"You must work in silence. If anyone speaks during the examination, you will receive an immediate fail. You have an hour and a half to complete the paper. Any questions?" I raised my hand. "Felicity?"

"Can I have a spare sheet of paper?"

"May I ask why?"

"To plan my answers. They'll make no sense otherwise."

"Very well." She passed me a fresh sheet of paper. "If there are to be no more questions, your time starts now."

I took a breath and turned over the paper.

~~~

First Published - July 16th, 2020