t is for trauma

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

Alina Fairgrieves knelt beside Will's unconscious form, clutching his cold hand in hers. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she looked at him, so small and helpless, but something dark living inside of him. He was wearing a hospital gown that was too big for him (reminding her uncomfortably of Eleven) and his eyes were closed, a peaceful expression on his face. If she hadn't known any better, she would've thought he was sleeping. But Hopper had filled them all in. About what they'd seen. About what had happened within the confines of Hawkins Lab. About the shadow monster that was now using Will Byers as a human puppet.

Jonathan was holding Will's other hand, muttering words of apology for not being there while Nancy rubbed his back. He and Alina exchanged looks of miserable sorrow—they'd lost so much in the span of only a few hours. Will was deteriorating inside, a plaything to a being older than them all. And Bob was dead, his insides used as Demogorgon food.

Eventually, Alina couldn't bare looking at Will's face, and stood up. Her chest was hollow, another piece of her heart chipped away when she thought about Bob. What was the last thing she'd said to him? Had she told him that he was a part of her family? Had she told him that they all loved him?

Again and again, she saw Bob die in front of her, the image sometimes flickering to the dead eyes of her dad. Her nausea got worse and worse with every replay, and she had to sit down, her head in her hands. Mike, who was sitting at the table beside her, tapped her arm, and she looked up at him. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were rimmed with red, his gaunt face betraying the fact that whatever he'd seen in the lab had deeply traumatized him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and she shook her head. Joyce was currently in her bedroom, sobbing, the loss of Bob cutting deeper into her than it had for anyone else. She'd given Alina and Jonathan a quick hug when she'd seen her before retreating there, and Alina couldn't muster up the courage to go check on her.

"I'm sorry," she said, and the tears began to fall again. "I should've stayed. I should've helped you. Instead I went out to find Lucas and Dustin and I ruined everything. I should've been there for you. And Will. And... and Bob."

"It's not your fault, Al," said Mike. "It's not. You were trying to help us. And... and you couldn't have saved him, anyway. It... it was like hell in there. Nobody could've survived. We just got lucky."

"I could've!" Alina argued, letting out a sob. "M-my powers... they came back. I... I used them against those Demogorgons. In the junkyard. It worked. I... I could've saved him. Maybe even helped Will, too."

Mike's eyes widened. "Your powers are back?" he questioned. "Are you serious?"

Alina wiped her tears with her sleeve, remembering the realization she'd made last year. Let them in. Don't expect them to come. Closing her eyes, she opened her hands to the energy. She let it flow into them, let the itch tickle her palms. And then a ball of red light formed on her palm. She thrust it towards the ceiling, but before it could crash into it, she jerked her arm back. The red light hovered in midair for a moment, flickering slightly, before dissipating. Alina could see red tendrils of smoke float back towards her, reentering her body.

Fresh blood burst from her nose, and Mike handed her a tissue, mouth agape. "I don't... I don't think they ever really left," she said. "Maybe I suppressed them or maybe something else happened, but either way they're back now, and back when I need them. They... t-they seem to be more powerful now, too. Or perhaps I have more control over them now. S-see?" more tears glittered on her face.

"You couldn't have saved him," said Mike again. He was taking the news of her powers returning remarkably well. "There were... there were so many of those things in there. You couldn't have taken them all. Your powers wouldn't work for that many."

That didn't make Alina feel any better. Mike was just guessing, so who knew if she could've saved Bob's life? She could've fired her energy at the first Demogorgon to tear into his flesh, and then dragged him out to safety. But the question that remained was how was she able to see Bob's death? Was it like when she saw Will in the Upside Down? Was that a part of her abilities, too?

Then why had she seen it in the perspective of the Demogorgon? In all blurred edges and sensing? Why was she slowly getting sicker and sicker?

Meanwhile, Gabriel Burton listened to Hopper yell into the phone. He was trying to contact someone, anyone to help them through this disaster, but it didn't seem to be working. Gabe's face was pale. Will was possessed (he thought that only happened in movies!) and Bob Newby, who worked at Radio Shack (Gabe had met him when he and his grandparents went out to replace their telephone) was dead. Gabe hadn't even known he was Joyce's boyfriend.

He rubbed his forehead, wishing this was all a dream. Wishing he could wake back up in his bed, where Will wasn't possessed, and Bob was still alive. He could barely look at the unconscious figure on the couch. Because he remembered his conversations with Will, how warm and alive he'd been. Remembered the terror that had graced his face when Dart screeched at them, the way he dropped his walkie-talkie and ran. Remembered how he'd looked in his Ghostbuster costume.

Will Byers made Gabe's heart flutter, and he didn't know why. But now Will was trapped, a shell of who he was, the shadow monster seizing control of him. The boy who lay on the couch now wasn't Will at all.

Hopper finally hung up the phone, turning to the six thirteen-year-olds sitting at the table. Max had one arm casually laying on it, her eyes scanning the strange drawings that lined the walls. Gabe had been confused by those when he'd come in, before Hopper had explained that Will had drawn the tunnels that were spreading underground. Lucas kept shifting in his seat beside Max, the stripes on his face stubbornly remaining, his bandanna tied tightly. Sometimes he'd glance at Alina, who was sitting beside Mike, but he wouldn't comment.

Dustin was standing, strangely calm for someone who'd been attacked in the junkyard by miniature Demogorgons (Gabe couldn't get over the fact that they'd named those horrifying things after D&D). Alina had her head in her hands, looking sicker than usual. And Mike just looked hollow.

We're just kids, thought Gabe to himself. We're just kids, and we've been through so much more than most adults have. We're just kids. We don't deserve this.

"They didn't believe you, did they," said Dustin now. It wasn't a question. Who would believe all of this? In monsters from parallel universes and shadow monsters and possessed teenage boys. In broken girls who could shoot energy out of her palms and the lockdown that had hit the lab. It seemed like something out of a science fiction movie, not real life.

"We'll see," was all Hopper said, but Gabe knew nobody would come. He knew they were on their own.

"'We'll see?'" Mike repeated incredulously. "We can't just sit here while those things are loose!"

"Why not?" Gabe snapped, something inside of him breaking. "We almost got killed back at the junkyard, and if it wasn't for Alina and Steve, we probably would be dead right now. And I'm guessing the lab wasn't a picnic either. This is crazy. What are we supposed to do?"

"We fight back like we did last year!" Mike glared at Gabe. "You weren't there last year. You don't know what we did."

Gabe scoffed. "I know well enough. I know you guys were cornered by that thing and the only reason you weren't killed was because of Eleven! But she's not here anymore! She died, remember! I... I don't want to die."

"Eleven's not dead!"

Hopper cleared his throat, causing all eyes to go to him. "We stay here," he announced, "and we wait for help." And then, without another word, he walked out, leaving Gabe and Mike to continue their argument.

"Why are you even here if you're gonna be a coward?" Mike snapped. "If you're not willing to help, Gabe, then you should just go home."

"I want to help!" Gabe leaned forward in his seat. "I do. I'm just... I'm terrified, Mike. We all could've been killed. And I... I don't want anyone else to die. I'm... I'm sorry, Mike. Maybe I'm not brave enough for this."

"No, that's not it," said Dustin. "There isn't anything we can do. We can't just fight them, it's impossible. In case you guys haven't noticed, we're teenagers. Untrained teenagers. And those things killed grown men and women. If we go out there, we'll just be another casualty. Sometimes there really isn't anything, Mike."

At that depressing note, the room was washed with silence for a couple of minutes, quiet except for the sounds of Alina's sobs as she thought about Bob. Gabe could tell she was really upset about it, even though she didn't know the man that well. Looking up, he saw Lucas staring at her, desperately wanting to comfort the girl, and he bit his lip before giving him a nod.

Lucas stood up, moving toward Alina, before cautiously putting a hand on her shoulder. The girl did not move away. As Lucas rubbed circles into Alina's back as she cried, Gabriel Burton risked a glance at Will again. He didn't want to be a coward this time. He didn't want Will to die. But the only problem was, he really didn't know what to do.

While Gabe decided who he was going to be and thought miserably about the possible outcomes of this disaster, Alina tried to ignore Lucas, which was quite to do as he was trying to soothe her right now, rubbing circles on her back. She pretended not to feel it, letting the tears fall. She knew that she should apologize to him soon—she'd gone way out of the line—but mustering up the courage to talk to him was just as hard as standing on the edge of a cliff, trying to get the will to make that final jump into oblivion.

She sighed. That was a bad comparison. It reminded her of the day in the quarry, of the lighter's cool metal on her face and the knife held to Dustin's mouth. It reminded her of the way Mike had stepped off the cliff, his hair flying behind him as he toppled, only held up by Eleven's strong will. It reminded her of the hug soon after, the first time Alina had realized she really did have friends.

Heat flashed across her vision again. Soon. Sweat prickled her neck, and Alina closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths. Bob. Eleven. Brandon. How many more would have to die? How many lives would these monsters take before they were satisfied?

Then something nudged her leg. Alina looked down to find Skywalker, meowing as he curled himself around her leg. Her eyes widened. After all the shit that had gone down, Alina had almost forgotten about her first friend. Lifting him up, Alina hugged him tight, burying her face into his fur. He was okay. Skywalker was okay. She looked at Dustin. Apparently he wouldn't be dying in his sleep after all.

Alina Fairgrieves hugged her cat, her nausea getting worse and worse with each passing moment. And she knew it might not be an illness at all. But whenever that thought rose to her lips, something inside her quelled it.

Something was very, very wrong. 

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

a/n: i know i cropped that gif weirdly but just ignore it. things happened this chapter!! wow!! gabe and mike had a fight!! they do that a lot, as you'll see, especially in book three (okay yeah this is spoilers, but i want to confirm that gabe does survive this book. which should be obvious considering i just introduced him here. it would be terrible to just kill him off lmao). and next chapter, we're gonna get a whole lot of dialogue, which is... my least favourite kinds of chapters. i hope you like it anyways LMAO.

we're getting closer to the end!! well, not that close. we've still got 18 chapters and an epilogue (because i overwrite everything lmao) left. but it feels like we're getting close. and i'm excited!! 

'till next time!