movie nights and reconciliations 

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

Alina sat next to Will on the couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn as they watched the movie. It had exactly the right amount of butter on it, and Alina kept grabbing large handfuls and stuffing them into her mouth, and Will would have to remind her that he also wanted some, too. Then Alina would nod, only taking popcorn in twos, and then she'd swipe another handful again and the entire cycle would continue.

"We can always make more," Joyce said, turning and smiling fondly at them. She was leaning against Bob on the couch, and the two of them laughed at basically every line in the movie. Alina was happy for her. She deserved happiness in her life, and the movie was funny. Even though Alina had recently been hit with a wave of exhaustion from today, she kept giggling along with Will.

It was strange. Alina's mood had definitely been weird since her dad and Eleven had died. One moment she'd be laughing, the next she'd be frowning, wondering why she was so happy when her loved ones were dead. One moment she'd be smiling, the next she'd be suppressing tears as she pictured the event over and over again.

What she didn't tell anybody was that she didn't exactly remember everything that had happened. She remembered being held in an agent's arms. She remembered breaking free. She remembered fighting against the Demogorgon in the classroom. But then, after Eleven's last words, it was all blank until her dad had died. She didn't even remember most of her conversation with him until his last words.

Of course, Alina did know what had happened. Her friends and the police had gone over it over and over again. Eleven had screamed, and the Demogorgon had let out its final cry before dissolving into pieces, which had overcome the girl. When they cleared, she was gone.

They'd all called for her, and then, after Alina had realized that Eleven was dead, she'd gone to find her dad. But Alina couldn't recall any of it. When she thought back to those parts, it was like they were just a dream. Like they hadn't happened.

PTSD. That's what the doctors in Hawkins Lab said, and although Alina was usually not inclined to trust anyone from there, she knew they were telling the truth. Alina and Will had both been diagnosed with it eight months ago, but their friends hadn't. They were more resilient.

Alina knew why. But it didn't make it feel better. It was bad enough having panic attacks in the girl's bathroom, it was worse knowing that her brain was messed up, and that she might take years to recover. Psycho.

Alina shoved another handful of popcorn into her mouth and tried to lose herself in the movie. Jonathan kept yawning from his chair, causing her to yawn, making her feel even more tired, but honestly, Alina had been afraid of falling asleep. She didn't want to have more nightmares. She didn't want to be bathed in the blood of her dad once again.

Just then, the phone rang, and Alina startled, popcorn scattering out of the bowl on her lap. She sucked in a gasp and turned her head, staring at the ringing landline on the wall. Joyce was also tensing, and Alina knew why. When Will was missing, she'd gotten a couple of phone calls from the Upside Down, with Will's breathing and the sounds of a snarling Demogorgon. Alina saw her tense every single time the phone rang, no matter if she knew who was calling her or not.

"Hey," Bob soothed, tracing circles on Joyce's palm. "It's okay. Let it go. Probably just a prank call."

Joyce smiled at him. "Okay," she breathed, visibly relaxing, trying to get back in the movie, but a couple of moments later Alina saw her frown again as the phone continued to ring. Alina's heart was pounding, sweat beading on her forehead. Somehow, the abrupt ring of the phone had startled her so much her heart rate still hadn't come down.

For a moment, Alina was back in Hawkins Middle School, being kicked by the boot of a Hawkins Lab agent. It had reminded her so much of being hit by Linda, and the attack by James, that in the moment she'd also had a flashback. Then, inside her mind, she heard the scream of the Demogorgon intermixed with Eleven's before everything went blank.

Alina squeezed her eyes shut, colorful shapes swimming in her vision. Stop. I'm at home now. I'm safe. Nothing's going to happen.

Her hands were slick with blood. Her dad's blood. Alina's mouth opened and she let out a scream, red light bursting from every orifice.

This is your fault, Alina. You should've saved them. You could've done something. But you didn't. You just let them die. This is all your fault. You could've stopped them.

Alina clenched her fists, and the bite of her nails into her palms snapped her out of her reverie. Looking around the house frantically, Alina took deep breaths. She was here, beside Will, watching a movie. She was not covered in blood. She was safe.

Breathe, Alina. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out.

"Al?" Will was looking at her, concerned. "Are you alright?"

Alina nodded, and, as if to demonstrate, stole another handful of popcorn from the bowl, scraping it clean. Will let out a cry of indignation and tried to steal it back, but Alina just laughed and popped all of it into her mouth. Her cheeks bulged like a chipmunk's, and Will laughed. "All right, you win."

Everything is okay, Alina. Except for you.

Alina took a sip of Coke and leaned back in her seat, trying not to convey how much her hands were shaking.

The movie ended, and Bob got up to go home. Just before he left, he leaned over and mussed Alina's hair, just like Jonathan usually did. "See you later, Alina-bina," he said, smiling at her. Alina let out a laugh. It was a stupid nickname, Alina knew, but it was one she'd never been called before, not even by her dad. It was something that was just hers and Bob's, and she kind of liked that.

Will, Joyce and Jonathan all went to bed, but Alina stayed up on the couch, petting Skywalker and sipping her Coke. The house was dark, and Alina could hear the dripping of water from the faucet and the steady rhythm of the ticking clock. She closed her eyes, content, and that was when she heard the faint buzz of the walkie-talkie from her backpack.

She leaped to her feet, hastening to take it out of her bag, finding Lucas's voice intermixed with the sound of static buzzing. "Al? Alina, do you copy?"

Alina let out a sigh and picked it up. She'd almost forgotten about Lucas and Dustin's obsession with Max, but now that he was calling her, everything came back. "What do you want, Sinclair?" she asked, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She played the last name card, trying to give him that extra guilt, and could hear it etched into his voice as he spoke again. Though it wasn't what she'd expected him to say.

"Come outside. Over."

Alina, who was about to take another sip of Coke, froze. "Why?"

"Because I'm here, Al. I'm waiting outside and I don't want to have biked all the way over here for nothing."

Alina looked around wildly, but she was alone in the living room apart from Skywalker. "Lucas! What were you thinking?! You know Joyce doesn't want me going outside after dark!"

"Al, please?"

Alina couldn't resist him. She never could. She let out a deep sigh. "Fine. I'll be out in two minutes."

Putting the walkie-talkie back in her bag, Alina pulled on a jacket over her pajamas and took off her slippers, replacing them with sneakers. Quiet as a mouse, with tactics she still remembered from when Linda lived with her, she slipped outside to find Lucas leaning against a tree, his bike on the ground beside him. He smiled when he saw her.

"Well?" Alina took a step towards him. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize," said Lucas, shrugging sheepishly. His eyes flicked down to her pajama pants, which were blue with teddy bears all over them, and he bit his lip. Alina wasn't going to like what he and Dustin were doing tomorrow, so he had to make it up to her now. He held out his hand, which held a Snickers bar, Alina's favorite. "I'm sorry for being so weird about Max. And stalking her and stuff. You were right. Max is Mad Max."

Alina took the Snickers bar, staring at it for a moment. "You came all this way to give me a Snickers bar?" Perhaps Lucas still did like her, but only a little.

"Well, no. I mean, I was going to ask if you wanted to go biking with me, but if you think Joyce will get mad..." Lucas shook his head. "Forget it."

"My bike's in the garage," said Alina after a second. "She'll hear if I go and get it."

"Well, there's plenty of room on mine," said Lucas, patting the back of it. "Come on. I want to show you something."

Alina laughed, swinging one leg over the seat. "Okay, Sinclair. Since you've come all this way, I'll come. But as a warning, I'm exhausted. I barely slept last night."

"It'll be quick," Lucas promised, getting on his bike. Alina clutched onto his waist, uncomfortably reminded of Eleven, and then they were off. She tried not to think of her friend as the October leaves scattered across the roads, as the crickets chirped, as an owl hooted from somewhere within the woods. She just focused on how her hands clutched onto Lucas, the smooth rhythm of his pedaling, and the little jolt her stomach would get every time he hopped a curb. Normal things. It was just her and Lucas Sinclair, possibly the greatest friend she'd ever had.

Friend. He'd come all this way for her, but still... still he liked Max. Alina could tell he and Dustin's obsession with her was only going to grow in the coming days. Because you're nothing, her doubt reminded her, and Alina leaned forward, clutching Lucas tighter as he finally stopped the bike. Alina did a double-take when she realized where they were. The Quarry.

"Why'd you take me here?" she asked. It wasn't like she had very pleasant memories here. She could feel the force of the lighter being pressed against her cheek as she studied the cliff, and had to check to make sure her nose wasn't bleeding again.

"Look." Lucas pointed up at the sky, which was littered with thousands of stars. "I came here last night and realized we're far enough away from the lights of the town to see them. Pretty, right?"

"I didn't realize you were a stargazer," said Alina with a laugh. She tipped her head back and gazed at the stars twinkling in the sky. They really were beautiful, but it reminded Alina yet again of how small she was. Perhaps she already was lost among the cosmos.

"I'm not," said Lucas, embarrassed. "I just... I thought you'd like it."

"I do." Alina sat down, purposefully not looking down. She didn't want to see the spot where James had hit her, where Mike had leaped to his almost-death. Instead, she just looked up, tracing constellations with her eyes. "Look," she said, pointing up, using her thumb and forefinger to trace it. "There's the Big Dipper. And there's the Little Dipper."

Lucas smiled, moving to sit beside her on the cliff. He was just about to put an arm around her when Alina suddenly winced. He could see sweat forming on her forehead, and her mouth was slightly open. Using the heel of her hand, Alina rubbed her head.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Headache," said Alina, standing up. "Look, I should get going. You don't have to take me. I'll just run. I'm good at that."

"Alone?"

Alina dug through her backpack, pulling out her switchblade. "I don't go anywhere without it. Don't worry, Lucas, I'll be fine. Goodnight."

And with that, she was gone. Lucas watched her go, utterly baffled. What had happened?

Truthfully, Alina herself didn't know. One moment she was sitting with Lucas, content, and the next she was having one of her heat waves. This time, though, the throbbing in her head had moved to her arms. Perhaps she really was getting sick. But when she began to run away, Alina found that the pain and heat had stopped.

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

a/n: yeah so i really dunno what's up with me lately, but i haven't been as invested in this as i have been previously. like for now i'd much rather be writing my stanley barber book, which is probably what i'll be focusing more on for now, so these updates are going to be spaced out a little more so i have time to prewrite most of the chapters for the next book after i finish. sorry. also sorry for the quality on these past chapters, i feel like there's something off about them idk.

hope you enjoyed regardless! remember to vote/comment if you liked! :)

'till next time!